thewavesswing-blog

[thewavesswing-blog]

Fog

In the morning all manor of life is slow

the dogs don’t howl

the frogs don’t croak

the air stands still

humans are so constantly moving

But the fog and mist serves as reminder

that vapor needs grounding

otherwise it floats away

It disappears before it begins

breathe oh creature

find root in the Vine

oh fog of mind

[thewavesswing-blog]

stars and scars

there is but a moment when a man realizes that he has witnessed a fallen star, a heart that no longer belongs to the space it was created to be in, where beauty resides in the ability to step out of oneself and realize the treasure that he has found.

that scar on the back of your left arm is my sure sign in the heavens that I have found my soul outside of itself

where scars speak of stories that unfolded the star of your beautiful constellation filled being is telling stories of future hope my mind longs to be apart of

[thewavesswing-blog]

hope

this feeling oh feeling of something inside plays notes and drums that one cannot hide,  from my heart to each vein  to the inside of the walls in my brain  tap tap, tap tap, tap tap  “hold me closer” it asks  in gentle contrast from this world of despair  your hands are but mine to share  take me in, i am yours  give me more to adore  your taste is oh so sweet a candy bar i constantly overeat  hope don’t let me down 

[thewavesswing-blog]

beloved

we as finite humans are dependent on change, our being exists because it first came into existence,  cause and effect - change  as a gift, as life, as something worthy  you are worthy in the Creator’s eyes  you were worthy of being made  carefully crafted into the intricate,  into the various tiny molecules that make it up,  that make you up,  the freckles,  the colour of your eyes, the shape of your lips,  the contour of your hips,  gender,  thoughts,  rational,  morality,  emotions,  experiences,  it is all there with specific detail of variances to display it,  to display the marvelous and awestruck beauty of our Creator’s hands,  we are His work, His doing,  created by The Creator to be creative beings,  all for the purpose of being in relationship with Him,  to point to Him when the world says you you say not i but Him.  because of God,  by God,  through God,  for God - who is constant.  He is constant. Faithful. Good.  We are constantly changing into His image while constantly being pursued by His constant love rooted in HIs consistency. 

you are beautiful. He counts you as His beloved.  Be - loved, dear child. 

[thewavesswing-blog]

The spare (despair)

there’s a room that has been locked for many years inside my heart, I never had the key to it and never knew what was inside of it.

I just broke off a relationship and I find myself in broken state of affairs in my heart because the world itself is too big, and there’s too much to deal with and all I want is to be quiet.

My words

My actions

My thoughts

My doing...

Everything I touch breaks and every person I engage with finds a disengagement point of no return where my decisions push too hard and fall too short.

I cry and cry and run and scream through these corridors and realize that nobody wishes to explore the spaces of my heart with me.

Too much emotion

Too many thoughts

I am too much...

So I’ll be breaking open this spare room and locking myself inside of it where I can’t hurt anybody and I can’t be vulnerable to hurt and pain and being told that I’m a mistake and that I’m the reason you are hurting.

I am fragile

and yet again you laugh at me time saying that you thought you knew what to do and yet just at the right moment you gave away what you love too much, your own heart seeks what is too good for it.

Lock the door from the inside and throw the key through the space below the door so that whenever there might potentially be someone exploring the spaces of your heart, just maybe they will unlock the room where you will find me

[thewavesswing-blog]

upside down

These hands you are trying to hold are calloused; dead skin covers the wounds of flesh torn and ripped.

But it’s not your fault for seeking out these things as I am also seeking your soft and gentle touch.

It’s a stare here a glance there and a smile that holds the tension of the words we hold back, the emotions we hide behind our eyes.

I’m tired. Exhausted because my soul has limits that are placed on my body’s natural reactions, a moral prison that have iron bars of “do the right thing”.

We watched our own world play out on the tele in a living room that was the gate to the shadow realm. Your touch the world being upright and mine being upside down.

How the two overlap every time there is a huge burst of electromagnetic chemistry and raw emotion. Right now I am the monster, disguised as a kid.

between the two of us there is telepathy a communication without words where the alphabet is our thoughts and the sentences our sudden turn of the head when we feel the other looking at you.

I’ve seen stranger things but never stranger things than this. That these calloused hands have to retreat, and that this stare has to be subdued under the blankets of relationship, commitment, honor, respect and appropriateness.

Right now this boy is figuring out his next steps. His compass has not been revealed to him other than the “false north” of instant gratification drawn away from what needs to be done by his heart’s interest in a different destination.

It’s not what he wants that will make him an honorable man of respect but what he is able to offer out of necessity that will shave off the dead skin and start a new.

In the shadow realm there is business he needs to deal with. So for now the gate has to close. Only we find that this boy has a different monster within himself that needs to be released in this other place and only then can he return to the upright realm with a clear self, a monster less boy.

Out of respect he asks that you do not seek the gate, and trust that whatever happens to this boy is his, and whatever happens in the upright world is hers.

For neither shall live while the other suffers, that’s not okay.

For now he needs to adhere to what he has set out before him. Be true to his journey no matter the pain and nightmares he has to face today. He closes his eyes, his hands turn to closed hands. Gets up, says goodnight and in his car he drives the empty streets filled with snow.

He will seek the sunlight again

When he is fully able to absorb the heat and take in the beauty without restraint.

The letters spelled out r.u.n

So he runs to what needs to be done

This is his battle, even though he dragged you into it for comfort and peace. He must do this.

And he must not tell lies

-forever the boy with the monster inside

[thewavesswing-blog]

things i love

Jesus, little bunnies,  the way wind blows through long grass,  brunch,  cold milk and cereal,  love,  your beautiful vocabulary,  romantic movies,  legs tangling together,  mountains, pine trees,  the cello,  the violin,  music that invokes thoughts and feelings, your tongue behind your teeth when you smile,  ice cream, not vanilla per say,  sunrises and sunsets,  mist,  knowledge,  whatever that perfume is you wear,  spontaneity,  your profound mind,  the perfect mixture of colour in your eyes, fall,  falling in love,  snow,  dimples, especially back dimples,  being adventurous, working out,  skiing,  mochas,  the way you look at me,  puppies, dogs, not the rat with fur little things  hearing people’s stories, the day we realized this was more, time, all it’s obscurities, my family - though i don’t show it much,  hope, inspiring moments out of the ordinary, visual art in all different mediums, flowers,  dancing with socks on to glide,  red wine, golden sun rays, the way your hair falls,  deep thoughts, poetry,  giving it all I have,  making people feel alive,  writing,  simply sitting and seeing life for the bizarre complex yet beautiful mystifying oddity that it is, with the obscurities it has to offer, with the people apart of mine.  today,  you,  my heartbeat, vulnerability.  

[thewavesswing-blog]

empty

was there a misinterpretation of what space meant?

is there a reason why my heart instead of joy felt devastation today?

when you arrived i wept and when you left I wept, both separate reasons...

you’ve asked me to be vulnerable so many times and yet do the empty screams from my eyes not convey enough information?

i am left speechless but i can’t keep speechless

i am left without words but my heart is not wordless

i am tired of having gravity treat me like shit and pull me to the “I can’t , I shouldn’t, or I won’t’s”.

what one needs is not what one wants and what one wants is rarely what we need but i know far less to be true but this:

empty space remains empty to the emptiness of the emptiness my empty heart can offer you.

[thewavesswing-blog]

strings

bend the bow of my desire over the violin that is your heart pluck the harp of my mind and I will carve notes into your bass  send shivers of vibrato down my spine once more  i love your sound. 

so elegant  so bold so gentle  so vulnerable  whether it is the guitar of reason,  the viola of passion,  the piano of simply awestruck beauty,  all the sound from these instruments share in simultaneous harmony the vibration of strings.  vibrations that create waves, the same seismic waves that cause our hearts to vibrate together,  when we embraced i felt your strings shiver,  and mine found equilibrium. 

this is harmony. 

this is where music forms.  in the vibrations  

[thewavesswing-blog]

Mourning

I await the morning

not the mourning.

I await

awake.

Asleep to

the sleep in my eyes.

“Wake up and smell the flowers” I whisper to myself.

Tomorrow isn’t promised.

Today promised nothing.

Now nothing,

nothing but now promised.

[thewavesswing-blog]

Cracks

through the tiny spaces, beneath the starry night, in the cracks of the moonlight hour, the most vivid of daydreams and fantasies begin to exist

it’s not enough to just be in the expectancy; i am learning

[thewavesswing-blog]

G-Major

my heart is the piano keys your mind uses to play  that beautiful melody

[thewavesswing-blog]

tension

pull me to the left oh heart of mine  stretch my limbs oh mind of thine  cometh to my knees  i fainted 

under severe pressure we find at times diamonds  other times an aneurysm in the brain  i am still dazed  one can only take so much give so much until limits are breached  i am seeing stars  gasp for air as the guillotine of decision  falls upon my shoulders and neck  i am no more in the tension i grown,  in the tension i grow, in the tension i sit, in the tension i cry out,

pull me, stretch me, and elongate this pain until Your will is done.  i am a peasant awaiting trial  at the mercy of being mangled  by time 

[thewavesswing-blog]

Hourly

how sweet your sting alcohol, how freeing your potion

when my veins ran deep with wine, it was but a vineyard to a child

each isle an opportunity to run down, each sunbeam a moment to smile more

i was free.

hour one came by and by hour one i was feeling the shackles fall to the ground

brush my shoulder once more i long to smell of you

hour by hour i found brick fall away, one after another my castle came down

a fortress barely survives when the king allows subdue and seizing of the palace to take place

what was suppose to be a gentle gift of a boy whispering into the cold candle lit air beneath the stars in the woods became the start of the artillery breaking in

words are simple and i cling dear to them, but dear those few words killed me

coward, choose, do something; the battle cry rang deep

when asked in the moonlight to let your castle fall and mid crumble and revealing one is asked to stop, what is a king to do.

silly old me. I'm no king. Not even a prince. And now a stable boy with a half broken down fortress slowly picking up the dirt and ruin

and a top a hill a rider of hope appeared and assured me through action that in an hour things will change. And they did.

all creatures found rest, cept the dragon's wings that beat from within my castle walls

sound the drums and awaken the creature, a dragon rider is near, a whisperer of magical beasts

hour by hour they trained, explored and flew over the skies of the belly, the hip bones, neck and backs of world unknown and worlds not fully appreciated

hour by hour the two were in a dance, a trance, shirts became eavhothers and warmth filled the chambers

hour by hour it seemed quintessimal in the winter season of frozen lands, a fiery beast was caught in a dream

both dragon and rider simply dreamed as the shackles were still latched to the bolts and the feet of the creature in the half broken castle

hour by hour by hour by hour

[thewavesswing-blog]

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!. please

[thewavesswing-blog]

a few degrees

the few degrees below imaginable

when your body no longer sustains thermal heat, when mine no longer feels the warmth

when my nose is the first to experience the cold, when i shiver but my body doesn't shake

when the tiredness of the night has set in, when i have sat in the tiredness of night

when it becomes numb, when the snow of what could be seasons changing falls

when precipitation turns into precepts, when assumptions freeze to remain true

that's when I'll think of the house, the bare feet, the dress, the smile, the giggles, the sunlight

the few degrees above unimaginable

[thewavesswing-blog]

her joy

was it made complete by my absense

is my compass still pointing true north

would you allow my heart to be shaped and molded by you again and again or am I an ambitious astronaught in search for the next planet

i have always loved Saturn but even it's rings are too beautiful to comprehend and yet they circle in the spaces of my veins where the needle of the compass falls steady toward where her joy resides

does that mean i need to disappear for the full amount of measure to take flight or am i being selfish to believe i contribute to any or that

i do love space, and i do love your joy,

when you're in my space there is nothing but joy

would our planets align and this vacuum be filled with sunlight, rays and particles of laughter

oh i pray your joy may be made complete and remain pointing in the direction your heart faces

this needs revision and also to be refreshed like the fragrance i so long to smell and the soft hair to fall in my face with the warm embrace of your presence

today is a new day

and i want the universe to come my way

yes i am selfish

but today i long for distraction