thewriterofdesperation - Tumblr blog

[thewriterofdesperation]

based on something I saw a bit back

[thewriterofdesperation]

“The darkness held him, deep in his soul. The bright light he once brought into the world faded and darkened, till all that was left was this horror. This emptiness. All I could think, was “Is this what Lucifer felt when he was cast from grace?””

— K.J Tierney

[thewriterofdesperation]

Terrarium wings Brittle things My imaginary Sanctuary Part of my Glass Wings Series

[thewriterofdesperation]

Mushroom Village by CJ.Park Lee

[thewriterofdesperation]

Will looking like the statue of David will forever be my Roman Empire because you know Hannibal thought it too

[thewriterofdesperation]

Loputyn  -  https://www.facebook.com/loputynbunny  -  https://www.instagram.com/loputyn/?hl=es  -  https://loputyn.tumblr.com  -  https://stay-hop.com/collections/loputyn

[thewriterofdesperation]

[thewriterofdesperation]

[thewriterofdesperation]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[thewriterofdesperation]

Dame Aylin

Prints!: https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/caioeduardo42/dame-aylin/

[thewriterofdesperation]

I often look to the sky with teary eyes and trembling fists, asking god “how could you let this happen?”

And I spend hours in the rain in silence, with only the sound of the birds as a response

[thewriterofdesperation]

"I disappeared into books when I was very young, disappeared into them like someone running into the woods."

- Rebecca Solnit

[thewriterofdesperation]

the urge to disappear vs the desire to be wanted and accompanied

[thewriterofdesperation]

Another thing that makes kaladin so painfully relatable is how much his mental illness hides his personality, because between depressive episodes and trauma he's this sarcastic little shit that smiles a lot at his friends and then the depression gets to him and all that disappears

[thewriterofdesperation]

Once upon a time someone told me that all the love I feel was invalidated because I didn't love myself. And while this was a number of years ago, I still find myself dwelling on it at inopportune moments. In the days where the skies are dark, and the future bleak - this phrase rose unbidden in my mind.

Within this beaten mind of mine, it continued to dig holes in every expression of love I was capable of. No amount of giving everything of myself to someone could bridge the gap between loving myself and proving that I loved someone else. All that love bundled up and dismissed in such a simple phrase.

Unfortunately, the relationship that I fell into after this thought had paraded through my mind for a few years wasn't healthy in the slightest. Not that it was abusive - we were young, and foolish, and didn't really understand what love was. I gave her everything I had of myself, tore myself apart to give her the pieces and she took it with barely a glance. As if it was expected that I would tear my skin to pave the way for her happiness. I allowed it to happen, made it happen, because in my mind - that's what I thought love was.

And that road made of the meat and sinew of my love, and myself, ended the only way it could have - when there was no more to give, the path became dirt and mud. And for the first time in four years, I had to crawl back to the start to re-piece myself together.

Ever since then, I made several vows to myself and started to find the balance - where I could cradle myself and still love another without carving their ideal out of my flesh.

I'm better these days, and I hope if anyone has thought like the above, where the only way you can love and be loved is to give your whole self to another without respect, love or care in return - that you take comfort and find the balance before you tear yourself apart for someone who doesn't deserve it.

K.

"No one can love you until you love yourself" is like the worst possible way of articulating "if you don't respect and value yourself, it's very easy to become attracted to people who don't treat you right and then justify their mistreatment, so be careful."

[thewriterofdesperation]

Here’s to 2023, a year of as many little courageous kindnesses as possible. ♥️

[thewriterofdesperation]