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“I feel very small. I don't understand. I have so much courage, fire, energy, for many things, yet I get so hurt, so wounded by small things.”

Anaïs Nin, from nearer the moon: the previously unpublished unexpurgated diary,1937-1939

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Crowley’s fatal flaw is curiosity. He is fundamentally an optimist, although he tries not to be. He likes to explore, and snoop around places he shouldn’t go, and ask questions, and use the funny new human technologies. He likes watching things grow. He’s a creator.

His first gift to humanity was knowledge.

Now Aziraphale is fundamentally a realist, even a pessimist. Before he even knew that it was possible to Fall, he was afraid about what seeming to go up against The Plan could mean. He worries about the potential horrible outcomes of everything, even going unarmed into the wilderness. He wants to keep everyone safe, even if that sometimes means doing hard things to ensure an ultimate good. He’s a protector.

His first gift to humanity was a weapon.

One of these beings usually sits in a shop devoted to the passing on of knowledge, but doesn’t actually want to pass it on to anyone. One of these beings refuses to bring harm any innocent thing when there is a chance he can reduce suffering.

Heaven has assumed that Aziraphale’s fatal flaw is that he’s soft, and weak willed. That he’s someone easy to manipulate. But they’re wrong. Because Aziraphale is not soft, and his fatal flaw is his inability to compromise on his beliefs.

Now, I don’t know about anyone else. But to me, one of those two beings sounds a lot more unpredictable and dangerous than the other, and it’s not the one currently crying to Michael Bublé in a car full of plants. The one I’m more concerned about is currently being given the tools to bring about the end of the world.

And God knows what he did with the last tool heaven gave him.

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I’m a pacifist like institutionally but I’m absolutely certain that violence solves at least some problems on a much smaller level. I don’t believe in wars or nuclear weapons or military campaigns I do believe in the power of that guy who punched the nazi in the face so hard his entire media presence immediately crumbled to dust

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it goes something like this: this is a demon that isn't a very good demon and has survived this far by not allowing anyone to see other than himself that he's not a very good demon. after all, he's been in this position before, hasn't he? he's shown Someone who he truly is, what is in his mind and heart so to speak, and was ruined because of it. but he still can't shake off the feeling of doing the right thing, regardless of whether it goes against heaven or hell.

and then appears this angel that has already told him on that wall that it would be awful if he, the angel, were to do the wrong thing and he, the demon, to do the right thing. it's meant to be the other way around, simply by the will of someone they haven't heard a voice from in centuries, millennia, let alone be able to even understand. this angel who the demon knows is going to be set on doing the divine thing, wrong thing, so he can't trust him to know that he's doing the right thing. he has to keep his cover, make this angel fear him, so he doesn't get close enough to see beyond the facade. because to thwart him as a demon is the good thing, but he can't trust the angel to see that he's doing the right thing.

but this angel accosts him, tells him that he doesn't think this is right, that it can't be what god intended; well, close, but no cigar. the angel beseeches to the demon to do the right thing this time, that the goats were one thing, but please, please, don't harm the children. and it's a close call, but how could he trust this angel? trust the angel to have some sliver of faith in him? trust him to re-examine his prejudice and see him as more than a demon, and all its preconceptions? but the angel does work it out, does see, and it perhaps births the hope that this angel won't stop him from doing the right thing.

it goes something like this: this angel is now a smug but tentative temporary ally. he's seen through him, and he hasn't been thwarted yet, so maybe he has the room to continue with his plan, his agenda, to do the right thing. but he doesn't have the full measure of this angel yet; how mercurial is he? will he change his mind? he seemed hesitant at the flood, but he doesn't get consulted on policy decisions; will actually saving the children be a step too far for the angel? will the angel baulk, and run back to the comfort of just following orders?

he sets the house on fire, and the angel initially doesn't seem to realise that it's a mirage, a magic trick. the demon's just setting the stage. the angel is shocked, momentarily panicking that his faith in this demon was misplaced. but the angel doesn't understand that it's a test, that the demon is scrutinising where his allegiance lies, that he won't thwart this trick, believing it a genuine attempt to harm the children. he offers deniable plausibility; offers the version that he is naturally a bad person because he's a demon - but fear me, stay away, you can't beat me; if you have changed your mind, don't try to stop me because i won't let you win.

but the angel shows again where his moral compass lies, and resolves that he does know this demon, and knows that he won't do what he's threatening to do. that he will do the right thing, and push him to follow it through. so he picks up the gauntlet. he knows that the demon lied before, and he would stake his faith on the fact that he's lying now. that he's not reneging on the true him that was revealed to the angel, that that was the important bit that wasn't a lie.

it goes something like this: now it's the angel's turn. this demon, this good person who does the right thing, is staring him down. setting up the challenge, and silently pleading that he does the right thing too. but the demon knows the stakes are higher for this angel; the demon operates alone, has had the freedom to somewhat pave his own way, and do whatever he wants, and only truly cares about answering to himself. this angel is literally surrounded, backed into the corner. the demon wants to know what he'll choose; will he choose the good thing - telling the truth, and bring down the fledgling trust they've just set up between them? or will he choose the right thing - to lie and ensure that this family, that has done nothing to warrant any of these horrors, can continue to exist in peace?

not only does the angel lie, but he stakes it on everything that he is. he stakes it on being an angel. a direct wager that if the other angels see through the lie, that is the price the angel will need to pay. the demon is suitably impressed, he applauds the performance and the sacrifice, and possibly even feels some degree of sympathy. because whilst this demon's existence isn't easy, he doesn't have much else to lose. he's already lost it, and still feeling the waves crashing on the shore, but it doesn't knock anything down. for this angel, this is everything he embodies and believes himself to be. he still has everything to lose. the demon has been there before, facing the risk of, and survived, losing that, and knows that conflict and pain. but is the price worth it? is it worth doing the right thing?

it goes something like this: the demon goes to the angel. they're not friends, not even really allies, but they've shared the same experience. the demon is surprised that the angel thought he'd fall, but he understands that fear. he recognises and respects that vulnerability, to show the shards of yourself to someone else knowing that they could either help to put them back together, or further trample them into dust. so he comforts the angel with not an assurance that they are still good, because that would be a lie. instead he offers the truth - that he did the right thing, and whilst its a lonely and thankless path to walk, a dangerous moral ground to tread, he won't be alone in walking it.

he lets the angel in on a little secret: that he too is vulnerable. that he is lonely. he has a weakness that at any given moment this angel could exploit if he were so minded. that this angel could experience is a one-off, and he could revert to seeing the demon as someone incapable of doing the right thing by nature of what he is. but he trusts that he won't. the demon recognises and acknowledges what the angel risked for a greater purpose, for helping him achieve that purpose, and for seeing who this demon actually is. he is showing the angel behind the curtain screen, the murky and unknowable that lies ahead when stepping out of the light. showing that they can be, and are, more than the labels they are assigned, and that doing the right thing is the only thing that truly matters.

it goes something like this: the demon trusts the angel enough to admit, unequivocally, out loud, that he lied.

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HFWU flash sheet I made a while back

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angels before man's lucifer & michael: beloved

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Good Omens RP Search -

Pairings: Crowley/Aziraphale*

About Me: My name is Kelpie. I’m a 30+ non-profit worker on the West Coast (PST.) I am very busy with work and my extracurricular activities so I cannot promise a post a day - I am an equestrian so my horse takes up a majority of my life (needy bastard.) Loves OOC chatter and getting to know my partners! I don’t have many limits on both romantic and/or harm topics but please let me know your limits beforehand so I don’t overstep.

Looking For: Casual, multi-para/novella length post(s), Discord roleplay. Fine with either AU or canon (any timeframe). Please feel free to bring your plots and suggestions. While I don’t have any AU ideas, I love world-building with my writing partners. As for canon - I’d prefer post-season 2 but tbh I’m open to any time frame!

Contact: Feel free to shoot me a message here and I’ll hand out my discord if I feel we are a good match. If you see this ad you can safely assume I’m still looking for folks but I do try to limit how many roleplays I have going on and stick to one or two just because I am so busy.

* while I have a preference of writing Aziraphale, I’m not picky!

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Who made this.

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Float on.

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Hadestown: NPR Music Tiny Desk Concert

FINALLY I have been waiting ever since I saw someone in the cast say they’d recorded at Tiny Desk. So happy they finally uploaded it!

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I am posting this off main because of reasons but I’m trying to work up the courage to go to a BLM march in about thirty minutes but since the last protest I went to I got HIT BY A CAR I’m kind of having freak out moments?  Like, I wasn’t badly hurt (cracked ribs, sprained foot) and we will be on the sidewalk but whooboy am I struggling. 

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Even if It’s gonna break me, love, I run to you.

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if you gave me the chance I’d love you until the last star in the universe blinks away

let us try by Abby S (via fireandsteelofangels)

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Enfys Nest~“We are allies. And the war has just begun.”

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Enfys Nest

(requested by @monocheshaa)

moodboard requests

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He stood as viceroy of Alderaan at the beginning of a dark time for our entire galaxy. He helped Mon Mothma create the Rebel Alliance, even while still fighting valiantly to preserve what little integrity and authority the Imperial Senate had left. I have no doubt that he would have continued the battle alongside our rebel soldiers if he had not so cruelly been taken from us in the destruction of my homeworld.