theytry

[theytry]

people claiming that samantha myers was added to woobify nathan when he can a.) literally break her ribs, b.) more often than not, lose her as a potential friend / girlfriend and c.) will always lose her anyway makes the take seem so bizarre. i actually think samantha proves that nathan always had intensive, violent issues before jefferson came along and sharpened those skills. i think she proves without a doubt that nathan’s actions aren’t entirely to blame on jefferson, but rather his untreated mental illness + the toxic environment he has always been stuck in. like. i do not see how she woobifies him?

[theytry]

i do not ship warren & nathan whatsoever ( i just don’t think warren is nathan’s type -- and nathan is extremely picky about men ) but i heavily enjoy their dynamic energy in the sense that these two should fight often. full on wrestle. literally headbutt each other forever. i’m vaguely interested in a reluctant, slowburn friendship as well depending, but it is a dynamic that would come after many beatdowns.

[theytry]

my hot take is that while you’re entirely within your right to hate nathan, the game actively wants you to sympathize with him at the end of it. this is why max’s feelings for nathan remain ambiguous throughout the game ( but she never, ever hates him -- especially after the jefferson reveal ) and why the voicemail exists at all. nathan is an objectively shitty person, he’s done some unforgivable things, it’s true! yet the game makes it clear that he was never the actual antagonist of the game … he was a red herring, a scapegoat, a tool. lis:1 at it’s core is about how the kids of blackwell are failed repeatedly by adults, and how easily these kids turn on each other rather than confronting the problems inherent within the people meant to protect them. nathan is failed by his father and jefferson. rachel was failed by david, her father, and jefferson first and foremost. victoria is failed by jefferson too. kate is failed by every adult in her life, and there has always been a heavy emphasis placed on their wrongdoings rather than victoria’s or nathan’s. and, in many ways, they’re all let down by principle wells for how he handled things. the game gives the kids ( including nathan! ) a lot of grace that isn’t afford to the adults. you can argue that nathan is irredeemable or a truly rotten person, but to act like the game holds him up as an antagonist or villain is rather ridiculous imo.

[theytry]

metas to do :

- jefferson & nathan. heavy talk of abuse ( of all kinds! ) and … well. a lot of other stuff! it’s insane <3

- the dark room. who was all in on it? what was nathan’s involvement? and rachel amber’s death.

- mental health diagnosis. cue discussion about his current medication and being misdiagnosed, as well as my thoughts on what mental illnesses he does have.

- nathan’s ‘powers’. will probably include some minor worldbuilding on my end, and talk about the strings of fate connecting him to rachel, chloe, and max.

and more!

[theytry]

in the vortex timeline, nathan could almost seem fixated on max’s purity … and ruining it, depending on who’s looking. there is some pushing towards coke and sex, some hassling, always dragging her to every vortex party until she willingly wants to go. he will usually lay off after a while ( after max does a line, or engages in some unsafe activity ) but there is a need for her to do it, initially. it is his cowardly way of dissuading jefferson from her, and is one desperate attempt of many to see max relatively safe and unharmed. it is also something else, probably, although his desire was originally born from the former.

[theytry]

crossover ship of the damn century right here <3

[theytry]

nathan & jefferson drabble , 11/27/24 .

mark, you say, half slurred and less than concrete ; it feels odd in your mouth, so full of blood and bile and powder. saying it makes you feel stupid, almost, winds your shoulders forward into a permanent hunch your father loathes and everything in you awaits correction. in the beginning he only smiled at you, at your fumbling, at the childish titter to your voice and the crooked slant of your mouth, caught within a permanent wince.

you pick apart the fact that jefferson ( mark ) never smiles with his surely perfect row of molars … it’s instead a quaint thing, small, humble. you’re not used to that sort of expression. his features are defined in a sculpture way and it’s soft, like the old greeks, and his beard looks inviting and his reaching hands always hover, in quiet asking, before they grace you. you’re not used to that, either. his fingers clasp around your elbow, splayed across the tender, thinned inside of it, and he guides you that way -- a nudge, a pull that feels foreign and too lax for a prescott, and he calls you nathan and he calls you talented. he wants you around, mark, and you try soothing the betraying rise of excitement : try to steady shaking hands, the rapid rise and fall of your chest, how your skin squeezes too tight around your lungs and ribs and it hurts, and you tread carefully. you preen under his attention and his touch and when your father sneers at you, mark lifts an arm and lets you cower into his side -- steadier than yours, so steady and imposing, but the good kind you think. he tells you with a wry look that he doesn’t like your father either, finds him annoying, and the absurdity shakes a laugh from you, pitchy, disbelieving, awed.

the oddly intimate shape of his name starts twisting in your mouth after a while though. he asks for things, and you give. fuck your shitty little family of horrors anyway, right? you blow it on mark and his desires without blinking ; it’s barely a thought to you, young and loaded, nose reddening from parties -- head spacey and you’re gone, so fucking gone, that it glides off your back like water. couple thousands’ nothin’, you tell him, excitable, grabbing his arm and smiling wide, closed like his own, he’ll make it back and then some in, i don’t know, a fucking day. and it’s good. sunshine, rainbows, touching, compliments … it works. you, nathan prescott, are succeeding. but there’s a period where you call his name in a tone he scowls at, calls it simpering, calls it childish in a way that sounds bad, and then your lips are stuffed with jefferson ; that’s his name, that’s the correct term, he tells you, so he’ll pretend he didn’t hear the whining mark’s in that voice of yours. you wish you would get angry. get even. snap back in return. anything. but it disarms you and the distance suddenly stretches, miles of ocean and nothingness between you and him, and something falters and breaks and you keep bowing, impossibly small, and you beg. you don’t know what you did wrong, but then again, you never do. it’s something inherent, probably, or so your doctors say.

turns out mark ( jefferson ) loathes that more than the first offense.

[theytry]

are you snorting. what is this

[theytry]

PERVERTS

starters taken from lyrics from the album perverts by ethel cain.

no one you know is a good person.

it is such a precious, magnificent thing to be loved.

i give in so easy.

how much?

i want to know love.

it took something from me, something i can't quite explain.

in the morning i will mar myself again.

here i am, empty.

let me tell you how much i've come to hate you since i began to live.

i want to know what god knows.

i will claw my way back.

i can't feel anything.

if you want, you can bite me.

if you want, you can bite me, and i won't move.

do you think you know how to give up?

i love you.

i can tell you right now, it's beautiful.

when you were young, you said you wished that someone loved you.

i am what i am, and i am nothing.

do you like that, baby?

what you do is nothing to me.

fast, reckless driving often leads to slow, sad music.

i'll take it.

it is no good, speaking of fairness.

maybe it was all a lie.

only god knows.

it feels good.

it has always been this way.

i've tried so hard to explain in words what it meant to me, how it felt to me, but maybe it’s not meant to be explainеd.

and still, they didn't die.

such a wondrous and painful thing, to be loved.

i am sure that hell must be cold.

maybe it's true.

you won't lose me to the thunder or lightning.

you won't lose me to the thunder or lightning, but you could to crowded rooms.

you don't, and you never will.

i would recommend that you take just as much as you need to feel good.

shame is sharp.

i always wondered if it would come back.

i want to know what it feels like.

i am what i am, and we are not the same.

i'll be alright.

we will not speak of this place again.

i like that sound you make, when you're clawing at the edge and without escape.

you were nothing to me.

i am punished by love.

i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you...

i have always possessed the insatiable need to see what happens inside the room.

do you think you know what it means to be loved?

the devil i know is the devil i want.

they made me leave.

i am that i was as i no longer am for i am nothing.

until then, i guess i'll just lie here and wait.

if you love me, keep it to yourself.

it's happening to everybody.

[theytry]

i should, at some point, talk more in depth about nathan’s and jefferson’s relationship. while i believe there was always a sexual undertone ( and that jefferson did assault nathan ) i do not think it was typical in nature … most of the assault present in lis has always been very nuanced, complicated, and not at all clear cut, so jefferson/nathan is in a similar boat to me. no, jefferson nor nathan were into each other like that and never will be. whatever jefferson did to nathan was to exercise control over him and was also just because he could -- which is primarily what all of jefferson’s sexuality is about anyway. aka ripping innocence away from teenage girls and watching them realize he is in total control of them.

[theytry]

crossover ship of the damn century right here <3

[theytry]

inflicted punishment, self-harm & other treats :

nathan, as previously mentioned ( in discord rambles i’ll link here ), self harms. it started off as an accidental something -- one of many consequences tied to his outbursts, that explosive anger, fear, the sort of agony which humiliates his family and sparks against his father’s dried thrush and sends them clashing. minor things, blame games.

it was the tremors, how his hands shook and trembled and the muscles and veins beneath pale, bruising skin flexed. it was his head, and how much it hurt and throbbed and his ears would pop, like his brain was pushing through the tender drums of them, fizzling and thick and nasty. it was his nails, it was his elbow, it was his twisting, snarling mouth and it was people riling him up or bullies or his father. sometimes it was himself, gripping his hair too tight or compressing his hands too harshly against his own ribs or, occasionally, repeatedly slamming his knee into a desk or table because he couldn’t stop shaking it. a thud! thud! thump! that was disruptive but too shameful to properly call attention to. never purposeful, really. he’d never be so stupid, or weak, or -- whatever. but the occasional welt or smattering of dark marks ( hickies, kids would joke, or girly ass beauty marks, others would leer ) became a staple, something familiar to poke out beneath expensive and hip clothes and then there was … the animals. the girls. art. animals were rotting, small things, but women? bound and asleep? they were … they marked real pretty near their collarbones, where jefferson’s needle made it’s precise home between skin and bone. it’d be so small but nathan would notice it. he’d stare, at that and the drainage of warmth in their cheeks, the emergence of clammy, cooling skin, and it’d be something, he gueses. cool.

( he does prefer them warmer ; running hot and feverish, cold and warm … but jefferson’s shit doesn’t do that, and he’s tired of asking to try things his way )

he didn’t start harming himself because of girls : that would be fucking high of him and he’s no loser, he’s a prescott, and he’s loaded with drugs and money and everything else. nathan’s not so sorrowful or desperate. and the harming comes in other forms, of course, medication, overdosing on them or withdrawing. hard drugs. alcohol. but then there’s … starving ( which is not his fault, either. the meds twist his appetite into something nonexistent and nauseous, like everything else ) and cutting. there’s no rhyme or reason to the latter, it’s just an activity, some other outlet -- always near his ribs and never anywhere else, thick globs of scar tissue spread between the push of bone and sliver of skin ; faded pink and, eventually, nothing except a faded, dotted line of growth, healing. it’s cool. it’s … tortured. jefferson cares for that in his work, like nathan, like any other man. his mentor may shame those coked up whores that frequently fall in a tangle of spreading legs at vortex club parties but he fawns after it, the same as anyone, delights in baggy eyes and mousy, unkempt hair and the signs of wet cheeks and fear ; likes causing girls that pain ( corruption, jefferson corrects meanly ) and nathan thinks he can look tortured too. what’s the difference between him and the starving artist? or the crying jesus slut who definitely slashes her thighs like some holy attention whore? jefferson would like it. nathan doesn’t cut for that reason either, but it’s still something, that cherished reason, that guide. he doesn’t do it often. mostly because he doesn’t have the patience, mostly because the thrill dies faster than he’d like, mostly because vic knows -- maybe, and that’s worse than his father or jefferson all together. he tries avoiding that, the pouty lip, the concern round in slitting, heavy eyes. still does it, always does what he wants ( he can’t stop ), but it’s few and far between. bad periods and good ones. like all else.

[theytry]

nathan & sex, a brief ramble :

tw : heavy talk of sa, sometimes graphic descriptions of sexual acts, fetishization of lesbians and use of a slur, etc. this meta isn’t meant to be ‘sexy’ in any way and is merely a character study.

nathan’s thing with sex is a compulsive, complex bag of bones -- as is the case for most of the characters i adorn and write. there are many implications laid throughout canon that imply aspects of nathan that veer towards sexuality, even if other fans aren’t a big fan of said implications. for example, his heavy fixation on women who are vulnerable, naked, bound and tormented could just be an aesthetic preference … but given the heavy sexual undertone jefferson’s interest in unconscious women carry, i struggle to not see nathan as being similar. he is attracted to that. he is perhaps aroused by seeing someone else helpless, since it sets a stark barrier between them ; painting nathan, inherently, as someone who’s more in control than he actually is. i’ve also said i don’t think he’s a rapist ( he wouldn’t ever touch a girl sexually while they’re drugged or unconscious : his touches are more affectionate, light, less heavy … it is a seeking sort of thing, not a smothering one … and it’s integral that nathan doesn’t wish to harm, you know? is noted by staff to become inconsolable and remorseful after violent outbursts ) but at the same time, there’s a degree of entitlement to him, and want, and ownership. he wouldn’t touch kate sexually but he would, perhaps, indulge himself with a partner …. would touch them sexually without consent, while they’re drugged up or asleep, it wouldn’t really feel wrong or weird to do so. it’s almost more comfortable that way! nathan, as mentioned before, is able to feel comfortable and secure when someone isn’t exactly all there … he feels like he isn’t being judged, that he isn’t hated … or disgusting in some way. i think nathan views himself as a repulsive thing, despite his inflamed forced ego. and he’s perpetually scared of being loathed or criticized or, really, observed in any way. sex with conscious parties is nervewrecking. nathan can’t control things as easily, nor can hide anywhere if he makes a mistake. in 2013 there is such a pressure for men to be gods at sex, to make the bitches cry and moan, and nathan just. he shakes under expectations. he hates them.

BUT! he has and will have sex with ‘normal’ girls. he’s hardly a virgin. girls paw at him because of his power and sway and money, and i’m sure nathan’s taken advantage of that here or there. not often. just, you know, once in a blue moon -- or when he’s too doped up to feel self conscious about plowing some whore somewhere gritty and awful, and particularly impersonal. usually a vortex club lackey who’s kicked out the next day. he doesn’t like past toys in his space so to speak lol … kills the mood, or something. obviously it’s not romantic. no girl can stomach nathan long enough for that, he’s found … i think things between him and samantha, during their freshmen years, ended quite poorly. real awful! crash and burn etc. wouldn’t be surprised if they had their ‘firsts’ together and the experience was so horrific and scary that samantha began distancing herself. i do not think nathan was pleasant during his first time … probably super violent, demanding, more than a little objectifying. he probably didn’t pay much mind to samanatha saying no or her uncomfortable, punched out noises. he was too eager and too … ermmm … fucked up to care? really shaky and excited. learned from that, though. he knows what’s the standard procedure for sex now and will ‘follow’ it loosely … restrain himself more, if it’s a good day and it’s with someone he likes, or cares deeply for, or wants the approval of. then he’s more *gestures* bearable? obedient? compassionate? lol. i think nathan had fun with samantha though ; thoroughly enjoyed himself with forcing her into odd positions and being rough and maybe even doing some amateur bondage with clothes or bedsheets or what have you. things that are too intense for a first time, much less for someone as meek and unsuspecting as her. intense would be a good way to describe it.

nathan very rarely feels good ever, so when he experiences something that’s pleasurable, there is a habit to go too far, i suppose? he chases it. i don’t even know if it’s a conscious choice, when he’s already so out of control and a slave to his body … there is a constant betrayal, you know, between him and his physical form. it is always betraying him in some way, be it the shakes and tremors, or the push towards violence, or how his voice screeches despite himself, or … etc etc. he is not really in control of himself, via himself and outside forces. it’s a whole thing, as we know.

but ah. i do think there is a sweetness to nathan, despite. he is certainly capable of it, and it’s not like he’s averse to more vanilla, slow sex. he just doesn’t have it. but he could. and he could enjoy it thoroughly, if it was done without prodding at his sensitive bits. it would be an addiction in it’s own way, if nathan felt truly safe having sex with someone else, if there was any pull on his heart -- if being so close and intimate was something calming rather than a nonstop thrill. he could use more of that in his life, naturally, so he’d be drawn in. for nathan and sex there is such a flipflop of extremes and emotions and taste, honestly : he is vile and creepy, he is controlling, demanding, but nathan is always deeply frustrated with himself, in a way that influences his limited and small sex life. ah, and there are little things, like nathan paying for hardcore, very artsy porn of tortured women ( sexually, not literally ) and his fetishization of dyke on dyke action. finds lesbian sex really hot and will objectify it, as if it’s intended for the male gaze, which it almost always is in the porn world. definitely doesn’t hide his enjoyment of watching girls get wasted at vortex club parties and tongue each other down for all the guys to cheer and hoot. mm, but nathan thinks girls can love each other, if he likes them. he’s not that homophobic lol. then there’s his cutting problem, so nathan rarely fucks naked, hardly any chance to anyways, when it comes to quickies with strangers from bars or parties, so he revels in the excuse. no point in doing anything except whipping your dick out, right? and a condom. last thing nathan would want is getting some bitch pregnant with a prescott heir, no sir, his father would wring his neck and it’d be a whole snuffed scandal. also, unsurprising, but nathan is slightly particular about touch -- another layer to his bound girls thing. he enjoys it so bad it makes him sick, almost, and it makes his skin crawl and it’s a whole thing. the odd sexually charged touches he’s been through with jefferson doesn’t help with this. obviously.

( nathan is also a chronic masturbator, but not in a typical sense. jerking off and finishing, the act of actually pulling down his pants and touching his dick, isn’t the common phenomenon. instead, nathan will palm himself through his pants or boxers impulsively : whenever bored or idle or whenever he’s frustrated or pining. it’s not a violent affair like the jerking off. it’s softer. lazy. it just feels good, like a haze settling over him, like the comforting high of bud … just without the bad trip potential … nathan is probably touching himself often in his dorm room lol. it goes without saying he’s definitely palmed himself to kate’s cross and max’s selfie, both of which he stole. might’ve done so after being beaten by warren as well. as a soothing gesture of sorts to calm down his frayed nerves, the buzzing pain, and the suffocating surge of tears )

anyway. there is a fine line between something raw and something more tender, i suppose. there are many conflicting aspects at play, with nathan … i don’t think i’ve managed to articulate my thoughts well or lay them all down at least, but oh well. nathan is a severely traumatized and unstable individual and i think it shows via his views on sex and sometimes his actions within such faux intimacy. there are sides some see and some don’t. there are bad days and good ones. i guess the best way to sum up nathan’s sexuality is that if it doesn’t churn your stomach in a good-bad way and if you don’t feel a pity towards him then … that is not nathan? poor kid usually has to do blow and mix his meds with alcohol before he fucks a girl, just so he doesn’t scare himself out of it. sad face. lol. craves physical intimacy and emotional intimacy … but is also, understandably, repulsed and suspicious about it -- hurting. and he’s never beating the pervert allegations … ah, but, yeah. many thoughts on the matter. none of them are coming to me easily enough for a text format but i hope these ideas suffice somewhat … i also feel like the two pins i shared yesterday are good inspo for nathan and sex, so there’s that as well.

“ i want to fuck everything but i don’t want to be touched. ” pin one.

“ they don’t want us alive, so we fuck about it. ” pin two.

bonus : nathan is rarely a submissive type of boy, by the way. he is always topping to a degree. but there is certainly a scared, reaching part of him -- something in him that’s desperate to please, when it comes to people he feels he ‘needs’ … that sex is different, depending. lots of waterworks and wobbling ‘sorry’s and it’s still rough in it’s own way, but there’s a desperation to it … lots of clinging, after. you could think his personality veers more towards sub sometimes than dom, i think. but i digress. he’s also primarily interested and attracted to women, with little to no feelings for men. there are exceptions ( most notably @vinhlang’s vinh in his lis:1 au ) and he’ll allow almost anything if he’s particularly desperate to please ( aka jefferson ), but he is mostly a heterosexual male and labels himself as such.

[theytry]

general discord notes, to document my insanity & some portrayal points :

tw : discussions of sa, abuse, medicine, violence, etc.

brief look into the meds nathan takes, 11/19/2024.

looking at nathan’s meds and wincing at the fact he’s taking them together lol … APPARENTLY it’s not a good idea to take diazepam with an antipsychotic, since it heavily increases a patient’s drowsiness, confusion, and causes them dizziness and makes them struggle to concentrate. woof :/

also you’re obviously not supposed to take alcohol with either of these ( or hardcore drugs i’d imagine ) so that’s an awful mixture entirely

still have an inkling nathan’s either a.) taking the wrong meds ( maybe due to a misdiagnosis ) or maybe b.) has stopped taking them due to the side effects by the time lis:1 takes place but i’ll do more research on that

diazepam apparently treats anxiety, muscle spasms, and seizures and risperidone treats schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and irritability caused by autism

( not documented but i’d later note drew calling nathan ‘twitch’ in bts and due to that, and other mannerisms shown in-game, i’d write down that he definitely has muscle spasms due to long term physical abuse via his father. hence the diazepam. and also other things )

discussions of jefferson, nathan, and sexual assault, 11/19/2024.

ALSO on the record just so i don’t forget for my sake but i do qualify mark jefferson’s actions as sexual assault to a degree. max certainly acts like it is -- there is such a fixture on how she once found him attractive, and the way she talks about the dark room scene in ep5 of lis:de … it reminds me of someone who’s been sa’d. i don’t think he actually touched her ( well, overtly sexually anyway ) and i don’t want to dismiss the complexity of the situation : what jefferson did felt like sexual assault, but most people ( himself included ) would not see it that way because he wasn’t kissing his unconscious models or fucking them. but he was still touching -- and removing clothing as he saw fit, and saying disgusting things, talking about innocence turning into corruption … etc … and i’m sure his touch lingered in certain areas too. not typical rape, but i think the feeling is very much similar.

so i don’t think it’s outside the realm of possibility that nathan has experienced something like that with jefferson -- i do raise an eyebrow at how their relationship is talked about in game, via max and others, because it has a sort of underlying sexual undertone to it. ‘some messed up father-son thing’ i think is what’s said. almost feels like a fetish rather than a dynamic per se … in turn, i don’t think nathan raped any of his victims, but i think he is prone to being a little touchy when someone is unconscious or ( in an animal’s case ) dead. i love nathan dearly but he is still a CREEP and i don’t want to take away from that either … while i doubt he’s a cold blooded murderer i definitely do think he’s a little. eugh. you know. no sex i don’t think although he is prone to more tender gestures when a girl is under ; playing with their hair, making her lean on him, pressing into her … i think it gives him some sort of fucked up comfort to not be perceived. idk!

this is all after one playthrough of lis:1 ( i haven’t tried watching a scene pack or anything yet, since double exposure has my main focus ) so this is all subject to change. these are just the inklings and thoughts for now

nathan is interesting to me because he’s deeply sympathetic in many, many areas … but i do still think he has many things genuinely wrong with him at this age so i’m toeing a careful line of ‘this is a mentally ill, abused, groomed, and misguided kid’ and ‘he’s kind of a pervert, actually, and a huge fucking asshole’ etc etc … i’ll defend him though within an inch of my life regardless, and make him a redemption arc in my mind

vague thoughts on lis:de & overall timeline for nathan, 11/19/2024.

WILL say that i do think by the time double exposure takes place ( a solid ten years after blackwell ) he is perhaps out of jail … i like the idea of him going into a psych ward lol. or something similar. some sort of mental institution. we do hear david talk to joyce about how nathan has a lawyer and the case is still on-going so to speak … so my idea is :

jail time -> mental institution -> out and on parole …

yeah briefly looking at the sentences for 2nd and 3rd degree murders and the lightest sentence you can get is ten to fifteen years … which can also be lowered exceptionally depending on a multitude of factors plus money. obviously nathan’s sentence wouldn’t just include chloe price but also the dark room, HOWEVER i do think nathan confessed and testified against mark jefferson in court, which would help his case supremely if so. it would all depend on what he was charged with and how the trial went, as well as the prescott involvement, if max said anything, etc etc but i could see him getting a mixed sentence of prison time and mental health lock up time. especially since he’d most likely crash hard in prison

meltdowns and touch, 11/19/2024.

looking at the samantha thing and hrmms haws :

> they reveal that samantha was injured by nathan after " defending himself against unwanted and inappropriate physical contact ", sustaining two broken ribs.

but yeah i do think when nathan is having a ‘little’ or a severe meltdown MAYBE don’t touch him. bad idea. there are a very slim few people who could probably get away with that during such an episode and that would literally just be victoria, jefferson ( to a degree, because i don’t think jefferson would touch nathan here and would more than likely berate him instead, tell him to leave ), and max in the other timeline

rachel too back in the day but rachel is very much a ‘when i’m upset i need physical space’ person so i also don’t think she’d touch nathan either if she saw him in such a state

musings on the nathan, victoria, and max relationship in alt. timeline, 11/19/2024.

okay so. very quick thoughts about other timeline stuff for funsies …. i actually had a vivid scene in my mind last night about it but didn’t write it ALAS …. maybe one day but ahem

so i was thinking about nathan’s and max’s relationship in the other timeline and was mulling over how nathan navigates other people so to speak. i don’t think he has ‘friends’ outside of victoria lol … his father makes a habit of scrubbing his record clean and making sure no one remembers his bad behavior much less his mental illnesses!!! and i think nathan is very private because of this. the vortex club is cool and all, they party, they hang, they think nathan is the shit, etc … but they don’t know shit about him really -- furthered by the fact nathan tells max that nobody at school knows about his father and how he treats him … obviously he would want to keep a lid on that, and he already doesn’t take kindly to pity … has a history of being bullied … etc etc. POINT IS : only victoria knows the extent of nathan’s meltdowns and such … nobody else really does.

so. i think the idea i go for with the other timeline is that victoria clung to max first. like really clung to her -- in a way she doesn’t with her minions … genuinely wanting to hang out, desperate for her approval, etc. it’s just not at all in line with how victoria behaves around taylor or courtney ; she isn’t asking to hang out or to do homework and isn’t constantly checking in to make sure they’re not mad at her … how this came to be? NO CLUE! but i do find that inchresting. and she sits with max on the grass like very much at her side. so i think nathan makes an effort to be really nice to max due to this, but with that comes a whole whirl of shit too … i think he was really distant with max at first initially ; gave her his number but never texted, wouldn’t stay around for long if they were alone, and little things like that … mostly because nathan was very, very nervous of having a freak out around her and ruining things for victoria that way, or for himself he guesses. so in order to hide his mental illness he sort of squirmed and hid away so to speak … which wouldn’t seem unnatural anyway since nathan rarely hangs with people one on one outside of victoria. it’s always a group of some kind and if he’s texting it’s always about drugs, parties, or threats.

ANYWAY all of this is to say that i think it’s inevitable that max would witness a nathan prescott freak out lol. i think it would be a more minor episode but it would definitely happen when victoria isn’t around … had a very vivid image of victoria maybe spending the break somewhere else in arcadia bay and max, already in her pjs and about to sleep, gets someone pounding at her door at like. two am. opens it and there’s nathan … who she was NOT expecting at this hour or in the girls dorm and he’s very visibly unwell. shaking, pacing, pale, incoherent … he jerks around a lot and his voice is rather loud and any attempts to shush him makes him louder so max stops trying. says they’re going somewhere and max says it’s two am, it’s curfew, and he gives a big whopping ‘who the fuck cares’ speech about owning blackwell and bruises her wrist when yanking her out the room …. very uh. not great obviously. max is nervous and a little upset by the ordeal and finds out nathan’s gonna DRIVE which is also a whole thing …. he has the nerve to break further at her sulking attitude and says he needed someone in the car so he doesn’t wreck it. awful. horrible. this man is running red lights and speeding and max spends most of the ride pissy and chilly because the windows are rolled down and also scared. blah blah they find where victoria is staying and she comes outside MORTIFIED nathan is acting like this in front of max and apologies for him thirty thousand times on the way back and makes excuses for him too, despite her anger at him.

afterwards things are very weird between max and nathan because once he calms down he’s absolutely upset with himself too for behaving that way but instead of saying sorry he sort of ghosts her and gets irritated when she’s in his presence …. after a while things would change though. i think max would fall into victoria’s whole excuses for nathan’s shitty behavior and rationalize it as well …. sympathize with it a little too hard …. maybe he’d have another meltdown and victoria and max would be there for it and max genuinely helps him and that’s when nathan would let her get closer. like when he’s sure she wouldn’t be revolted by him or hate him or make fun of him for this spiels

THAT’S sort of my thoughts for other timeline stuff. i think victoria sort of leeched herself onto max immediately ( for some reason hrmm ) and nathan would do the same thing but only visibly later on. i think it’s rather important he uses victoria as his middle man for max in the texts lol …. like they clearly talked about her after max ran off and nathan was probably nervous about it but he wouldn’t text her about it like victoria did. is too freaked out to do so.

in reply to my partner’s comments, general talk of my portrayal and walking the line with nathan, 11/20/2024.

okay meant to comment on this earlier but now will suffice!! i’m very happy you like this specific angle with nathan because i think it’s super important to like … my portrayal of him? i find that, as always, people are quick to dull nathan down or intensify parts of him to suit their feelings towards his character … which i care little for. i definitely am deeply sympathetic to nathan and think he should get help, have what he wants, etc, but it is very important to me that nathan is still a creep. mark jefferson influenced him in a lot of ways and his mental illness certainly didn’t help matters ( nor did the abuse ) but nathan was taking creepy photos before jefferson came into the picture, given drew’s comments on his portfolio in before the storm. like … sure, fiction doesn’t equal reality, i don’t see a problem inherently with having a dark, ‘tortured’ style ( as max calls it ) but he definitely crosses the line when he begins moving from still images of dead things to images of unconscious girls. or, in my eyes, touching them without their consent when they’re crashed out and vulnerable ; it might not be sexual but it’s still not okay … as you said, it’s sad, almost understandable, though it makes your stomach churn regardless. it also isn’t fair that he gets that sort of comfort and thrill when the girl in question is treated awfully afterwards by him … very complicated overall, and i don’t think his father’s lessons help much either. nathan feels untouchable ( but also doesn’t! ) and views people as things he can take whenever he wants …. might be why he has trouble understanding the inherent harm of kidnapping and drugging for photos, but might have a genuine fear of outright murder?

ALSO yes i do think nathan truly believes nobody would choose to comfort him or touch him ( given his ‘everybody hates me’ spiel when he’s beaten to a pulp ) so he gets that affection elsewhere … very starved for it i think and it’s not like jefferson is dishing it out, so he’s left all hollow and hurt and confused about it … i think he handled it better before, that sort of emptiness, he had grown up with it, but jefferson definitely fawned over him and was extremely loving and attentive in the beginning, i think … to keep nathan around and to use him properly. knew nathan would chase him around forever if he started withholding it, just because nathan would do anything for his praise and approval he gets nowhere else … etc …. so then, after that, i think it became harder to be with. that hunger pang. might also explain his solo jobs he seems to do without jefferson -- like chloe, for example. someone who was actively hitting on him and flirting. feels like an outlet and an addiction that increased very fast very quickly … once nathan had it he started to miss it, actually, so i think that’s when his desire to touch and hold and stare at and talk to the models increased …. blah blah blah, yknow.

anyway yes point is : i think approaching nathan with sympathy due to his illness and severe abuse and grooming is integral but i don’t want to erase the fact that he’s also genuinely cruel and veryyy … creepy? perverted? in a sense. it’s been a while since i’ve genuinely had someone who was perverted in this sort of creepy, bad way that i’m like yay!!!! excited!!!!

OH i also think nathan has a tendency to violently self harm. but i don’t think this is like, shocking, lol. danger to everyone but also to himself at all times …. duh

voice note talking about the drugs nathan is taking, speculation on what the unlabeled third drug is, my skepticism about nathan needing an antipsychotic, and brief talk of the abuse he’s endured under his father.

there are surely more notes somewhere, and other things i observed and decided but have yet to put into a post of some kind, but this is all i have for now!

[theytry]

[theytry]

nobody lectures me … everybody tries though ,

# theytry ... 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢’𝚜 𝚟𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚘𝚘 𝚍𝚘𝚕𝚕 , ( ... ) exploring themes of tortured subjects, death, & the framed. independent portrayal of 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐓𝐓 from life is strange, largely canon & headcanon based.