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thingamajigsofconcerns · 7 years

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thingamajigsofconcerns · 7 years

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For Basam,

Bazam, Arekolay! Thank you for being my brother, nao. Prilae akonga ko karata akn rka e adat sometimes. When I think about it, siblings have their own ways of showing their love to each other. Ours is the repetitive fights we had. Hehe! I know I’m being unfair to you sometimes. And I’m sorry for that. I’m an irrational person when I get angry at ikaw ang nabubuntongan ko ng galit dahil ikaw lang ang naabutan ko every time I’m home. Prilae akonga. Thank you for being proud of me in your own way. I am, too. Don’t worry.

I know you could have been the best brother if I was a little nicer. You recognize the boundaries I set and the things that will definitely set me off. You know exactly what will make me go berserk and what will make me really happy, and that’s the greatest weapon you have against me, even though you think na I have the upper hand in this family.

I am sorry for my unfairness. I admit that I receive more opportunities from our parents than you do, and I feel awful knowing that you won’t actually fight me about it because you think I deserve them. Thank you for limiting the things you ask to our parents dahil alam mong I will ask them for something bigger and you don’t want yours to jeopardize my demands. Thank you for being understanding. Nago prilae akonga for being unfair. I want you to become a responsible brother for Ikay, and a responsible son for our parents. Grow up and become a better Muslim. I want you to mind your prayers and never skip a waqt no matter what happens. Prilae akonga. Your forgiveness and prayers will help me in my grave. Prilae akonga. Pray for me. And I hope to meet you in Jannah in our final destination. I want us to be siblings until the end. I love you, basam. Mwah Mwah!

Sometimes I wish you were the older one and I’m not. Because I think you would have been great for the role if given the opportunity. Right now kasi, you’re the youngest and has the mentality that you should be the one being protected kahit ikaw ang lalaki, to the point that you actually think I’m worthy enough to be sacrificed if it means saving you. I know you think that way. We’ve been through many battles ourselves, and you always push me to the battle itself while you fink out of the arena. I want you to grow up and become a responsible brother. I want you to respect our family, our lives, and our rules. Hindi lang para sa aakin ang mga rules ng family na ito. You have to abide by them, too, because we’re siblings. Ayukong masanay ka na you always get away with your mistakes sa panlalambing kay ome at abate. I want you to learn how to face the consequences yourself, because someday in the future, even if I am the eldest, since you are the man, you will be the strength of the family. Our roles will swap, and I want you to prepare for that moment. I want you to believe in yourself. You are a smart person. I know it. I love you, arekolay. Mwah mwah!

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thingamajigsofconcerns · 7 years

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For Ikay,

Inao areakn, I really regret the fact that I did not put much effort to make our sister-bond stronger. We could have been great sisters, I know. Ogaid na so Allah na mala e limo. That’s Qadr. Thank you for being there. Your presence alone is a comfort. I’ve always been proud of you. You are smart, pretty and my sister. Knowing in my heart na kapatid kita, it makes me happy, kahit hindi alam nang mga tao at first. Even those times na magkahiwalay tayo, I was already told na magkapatid tayo, pero ikaw even though you weren’t saying anything, alam kong alam mo. You weren’t completely oblivious. It’s funny, how it’s awkward when somebody brings up the topic. Kung bakit tayo magkamukha, sino sa atin ang anak ni ome at ni mama? You knew, though. And I know you feel the same. You feel the comfort our presence brings, yung alam mong, there are still more people to count on. It feels nice.

Thank you for being Mama and Ama’s happiness. They have grown to love you so much, na at some point of my life, kahit ako naiinggit. Areakn, you are surrounded with so much love. Love from Mama and Ama, and love from Ome and Abate. Of course, my love for you too. Lumaki kang mahal na mahal nang mga tao. That’s why I don’t want you to be depressed. People did not love you to be depressed. Nobody abandoned you. In fact, you are on a very safe ground, madakl a soma-salo rka if you fall. I want you to remember that nothing is worthy enough in this world to exchange this beautiful family we have. I want you to see how you are so blessed. I want you to take the proper path, because I love you, and I don’t want to be your enemy in the hereafter. I want us to meet in the Day of reckoning with smiles plastered on our faces. I want us to be together and happy when we reach for our books that will determine our final destination. I want us to end up in the same place, in Jannahtul Firadaus. So I want you to be a good muslimah, exercise your deen in consistence, totoo at naba katra-trang, wear your hijab properly, wear Islamic clothings, proper and unrevealing, and mind your prayers and do not skip them no matter what happens, so we can fulfill this dream together. Pray for me, too. I am in need of your prayers. I’m not a very good person in this life. Your prayers will alleviate my pain in my grave. Pangninta makatoona ta bo sa mawri a alongan with smiles on our faces. I love you, Ikay! mwah mwah!

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thingamajigsofconcerns · 7 years

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For Abate,

I thank Allah for having you as a father. Because of you, I am gifted a beautiful voice meant to read Allah’s Qur-an. Because of you, I have a face that is not so bad. Thank you for being my father. Because if you weren’t, I will probably lose my path and will probably won’t have such an entertaining personality.

Balasan ka o Allah ko kiyasiyapa nga ka rakn. I know you care for me so much. You let me get away with household chores and let me do everything I want. You cook the meals I want when I ask for it. You wash the dishes after meals when I don’t. You treat me outside when you have money and when you are in a good mood. I know you put your faith in me to achieve so many great things in life. I know you are proud of me regardless of my rude attitude. I know you’re trying your best to be patient every time I talk back at you. Prilae akonga.

Thank you for not hitting me or punching me whenever I trespassed your rights as a father. Prilae akonga, abate. I’m sorry for being disrespectful. Prilae akonga abate ko langowan a miyasala akn rka. Prilae akonga for not treating you with more respect. Prilae akonga for being rude ago da adat iyan a wata. Prilae ako nga abate. Pkababayaan akn ska. I wouldn’t have such a beautiful life without you. Thank you and forgive me. Pray for me. Your prayers will help me in this situation. Pangninta a makatotoona tano bo sa mawri a alongan sa kapipiya ginawa. Thank you for being there for us.

Take care of your health. Have a stable mind and take care of my mother and my siblings. I know you can be a better a father Inshaa Allah. Let us all meet in Jannahtul Firdaus. Ohibukka, abate! Jiddan-jiddan! ♥

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thingamajigsofconcerns · 7 years

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For Ome,

I know that this letter won’t be enough to pay all the love and hardwork you have given me. If you have read this, then ibag sabihin, na miyawna ako mada saya sa dunya. Ome, thank you for everything. Bala-balasan ka o Allah ko kiyandiromasay nga pantag rakn. I don’t want you to think na nagkulang ka nang pagpapalaki saakin, ati ang laki laki ko nga. Literally. Misobra pn. I don’t know how others will raise me if I was their daughter, but I won’t exchange you to anybody else. You are the best, and will always be the best mother there is. Allah knows how much you have sacrificed for our family, and for the family of others. Allah knows how you try your best to give us family time, even if you fail to do so many times. Byalasan ka dn ko Niyat ka a mapiya Inshaa Allah. Da oba ka ko kiyapakala ami. Nobody else will be able to raise me better than you did. Ilayanga man, I am jack of all trades! I can do everything my cousins can and couldn’t. I can read Qur-an, I can speak basic Arabic, I excel in both my Arabic studies and English studies. And I am your daughter! Thank you for raising me and for allowing to live such a beautiful life.

Prilae akonga, ome. I have done so many things I shouldn’t have done to you. I disobeyed you many times and refused to realize my faults sometimes. Prilae akonga ko katgas akn e olo. I won’t ask for the time to be turned dahil alam kong I will end up doing the same things all over again, given my personality. Prilae ako nga. I am the one you don’t deserve. You’re such a great person and yet you have an ADHD person as a daughter. You’re such a kind person and yet you have this life. I don’t want you to regret this though. We have had such a very fun life regardless of the straits we have experienced in exchange. Let us believe in the promises of Allah. I hope I did a good job memorizing his Qur-an. Para sa mawri a alongan na makatoona ta bo pman sa kapipiya ginawa. Para kabalasan akn ska kahit papaano ko kiyandiromasay ngka. Your crown will wait for you Insha Allah. O tiyarima o Allah so mga galbk akn.

Thank you, Ome. Prilae akonga. Pray for me, Ome. I’m not a very good person in this life. Your prayers will alleviate my pain in my grave. Pangninta makatoona ta bo sa mawri a alongan with smiles on our faces. I love youuuu, mwah mwah!

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thingamajigsofconcerns · 7 years

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April 24, 2017

Assalamualikunna Warahmatullahi Taala Wa Barakatuhu.

If I have died, I don’t want people to grieve for me, I don’t want an occasion where people feast and recalls about me. I don’t want a duwali that needs food catering. I want you to remember that this doesn’t matter to me anymore and will not help me in my death. Instead, if you really care about me, I want you to pray for me. Tell the people to pray for me sincerely because I’m badly in need of it. Ask people to forgive me. Comfort my Ome and my Abate, and tell them that I am not really gone. We will meet again in the Day of Resurrection. We will see each other again. Tell them to pray for me too, pray for us to meet as a family in happiness. I don’t want us to be enemies in the hereafter. I don’t want us to covet each other’s amaals. I want us to hold each other as we cross the bridge. I want us to be proud of each other as we receive our books. I want us to meet our Lord in blissfulness together. I want us to still love each other on that Day. So Pray. Raise your du’a. Nothing is impossible to Allah Azza Wa Jjal if you pray sincerely. You might not realize this because you’re still living this life, but I have. I am a proof that this lifetime is just transitory. You will be gone before you even know it. Now that I’m dead, I know this will be the only way to salvage me from the sins I have committed, your prayers and by Allah’s mercy.

Ask people to forgive me. I must have a journal locked away somewhere. I always keep a list of people whose forgiveness I must seek. I might have said things about them behind their backs without knowing. Ask each of those people to forgive me. And also ask people if I have done something awful to them, tell them to forgive me for that, too. I must have debts, but I think they are not that many. But keep on asking people if I had accidentally borrowed their money and forgot to pay. I have a bank book. Use that money to pay them. Ask my Ome for some money, too, in case mine is insufficient. I want my clothes to be given to the YATIMS (Orphans), Beggars, and persons who are badly in need of it. I don’t want a person who is well-enough, can afford a cloth of his own, to have them, even if we are close, even if they are my siblings, cousins or best friends. Tell them to don’t be mad at me. In the future, they may be able to buy much more expensive clothes than the ones I had. I know my clothes will end up pangbahay someday. I know it will become trapo anyway. So why not give it to the ones who will really treasure it, and at the same time, Balas will be delivered to me. If you take them, it won’t benefit me in my grave. So do me this favor, and give it to the people who are really in need of it. Give it as a Zadaka in my spirit. Everything.

The money from duwali, if I still have a say on this, I don’t want it to be used as a budget for catering the guests. Donate it to a torel, make a small masjid from it, organize an Islamic event from it, buy qur-ans from it or give it as zadaka to the people in need.

Deactivate my Facebook account. Delete my fan/personal blogs and only leave the Islamic ones.

…

Thank you for finding this will for me. Balasan ka ron Allah. Ska e ki-koris ron a makabatya. Pangninta a mapipiya ginawa ngka saya sa dunya sampay sa yawmol Qiyamah. Check your prayers. That’s the only thing that will actually matter to you when you die.

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thingamajigsofconcerns · 7 years

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