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[thisnerdywriter]

God forgives. People don't.

[thisnerdywriter]

Call me whatever, but I'll never give up on love. Once I've loved you, you'll live in my heart forever. Maybe just in the form of memories. But you'll always be there. No matter how bitter our goodbye be, no matter how many unseen messages on your phone by me, you'll always remain for me. If you happen to come back, I'll forgive you and open my door. If you happen to call back, I'll talk to you like we used to. Maybe this is love. Resilient, forgiving, remembering, letting go, welcoming in again. Life is short. Love is warmth, even unrequited.

[thisnerdywriter]

I believe John Thornton of North and South (spoiler alert) is the most beautifully masculine character ever written in English literature.

Why? Here's why (caution: love ahead, may fall in)

As everyone expects him to be, he seems to be - at first- the hard, icy arrogant businessman indifferent to other's feelings and situations more importantly those below him.

Surprisingly he is damn soft hearty (like the paws of a kitten) who loves his hard tiring life of Milton (a dirty city) and *is* considerate of his workers. He meets Margaret Hale and instantly has a crush on her. He's like, 'shut up, I don't . I am NOT feeling anything like that.' But his mother knows better.

He sees her at the dinner (ahem, organize it for the sole purpose). And gawwdd, he has to stop staring at her, so he ignores her but knows where she is all the time. He flashes his rare smiles knowing she's watching him. Before anything, he is in love with her, despite knowing she's too proud to love him back.

He accepts his love for her when she throws herself in the face of danger to protect him (he's like girl!! you're badass!!) . Now there's no going back. He's grateful for her and truly appreciates her presence in his life.

Without beating around the bush, he goes and confesses (everything. Also the fact that he's never been in love and you made me). Of course she rejected, cuz she's a proud bitch. But you know what he says? This:

"Now I love and I will love. But do not be afraid of too much expression on my part."

OMG LIKE MANNN!!!

He goes away and she catches hints of tears in his eyes. Of course he cried. He did, he went to mamma and when she asks what's up? He crys on her shoulder. A GROWN MAN WHO'S RICH SUCCESSFUL AND HANDSOME CRIES ON HIS MOTHER'S SHOULDER BECAUSE THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE REJECTED HIM!!!!!

He still loves her, he promised he always will. Looks after her family, saves her from humiliation, does her father's funeral and keep in touch with her godfather to know if she's well. He also goes to her hometown to feel how she might have grown up.

The last scenes they finally get together, he presents her a pressed flower from her hometown know she terribly misses going there. Omgggg!!!!!!!! How can anyone write such a beautiful character?????

[thisnerdywriter]

One day you'll wake up in the middle of the night. A wave of memory bombards you about that person you lost in your far past. How you wept little on thier departure. How you did not feel sad when they weren't in your life anymore. How you almost secretly wished they leave.

How you never thought of being unbreakably connected to them. Now it hits you. What if they did? What if they loved you and you were too careless and self absorbed to noticed. They found you at places you did not expect them to be. They help more than you asked even unnecessarily just to add to essence of your life.

They would have hugged you tightly if you had offered. They might have dwelled a lit, lingered around the corner to catch that last connection of eyes. Alas, they might have wept about it for nights on end. What if they died in that unreceprocated and unreceived love?

And here you are realizing finally that you lost a pure love. How much rage and agony can be caused by a regret that hits too late!!

[thisnerdywriter]

I have very little time here on earth. Maybe just 30 more, 40 more, or 50 more years. And the dreams I have are many. There's so much I have to do before I would die. I want to conquer the heart of a loved one. I want to listen to sea. I want to watch stars. I want to read books. I want to learn people. I want to clear the rough paths. I want to light the torch and show the way. I want to help heal. I want to be kind to everybody I meet. I want to yell to the world 'Find peace'. I want to be someone's shoulder, someone's ears, someone's home. I want to bring change. I want to become it, and then make it happen. I want to make the world kinder, softer, more listenable, more touchable and more huggable.

But I have so little time here. If I leave it half done, dear reader, continue on my behalf.

[thisnerdywriter]

[thisnerdywriter]

One fine day we will no longer be here. And our marks of existence will be forgotten. Lets not wait for that time to realize we are briefly blessed with all the bounties of life.