thor-god-of-thunder

[thor-god-of-thunder]

“The prince just fell in love with Cinderella because of her looks!”

Wrong. Okay, picture this–

So there’s the prince, okay? He’s like, smack dab in the center of the ballroom, and he is like, horrifically aware that this whole ball thing is a result of his dad falling into a panic about the royal lineage or whatever and he’s stuck listening to highborn girl after highborn girl, all lined up, introducing themselves like, “Oh yeah my family’s been a longtime supporter of the crown, and I think you’re cute, *cough* I’ve been told I have child-bearing hips *cough* Who said that? Anyway–” and Princey boy is just smiling through it, he has been the center of attention for entirely too long, he misses his emotional support horse, and is just internally like “Someone please kill me now.” And then… he sees her–This isn’t a love at first sight thing, this is a ‘what the hell is going on over there’ thing, because this girl has not gotten into the Debutante line for a solid 45 minutes. 

She’s just at the hors d’oeuvres table going HAM on the prosciutto-wrapped asparagus, and like, she’s polite about it, she’s happy to move aside for other people grabbing punch and canapes (and she’s really so sweet with the wait staff, it’s kind of cute because they’re like… definitely not used to being acknowledged) but it’s like, “Damn girl, did you not eat today?” and then the prince is kind of stuck with the uncomfortable thought of ‘how many girls starved themselves to fit into a corset for this.’ And then the Prince realizes he’s missed the past 4 Debutante introductions because he’s watching Mystery girl hork down crab rangoons. So he’s like, “Excuse me” and manages to break free from the never-ending parade of girls who will hop on his dick for status.

 And as he’s approaching Mystery Girl, it’s kind of hitting him that something’s not quite natural about her. Not fake, but not quite real. But at the same time this whole evening’s been just a whole circus of people acting fake as hell, so like, someone seeming a little off doesn’t seem bad, necessarily. And he sidles up to her like, “Hi,” and she’s like, “Oh–hey, have you tried the tapenade?” and she points to one of the plates, and at this point, he could hit her with the “You don’t know who I am, do you?” deal or the “Very funny, I see your play” deal, but at this point it occurs to him that, no, he hasn’t had anything to eat throughout this whole damn ball, partially because of being stuck in the debutante parade, partially because of nerves, and there’s something so disarming about the question that he grabs a crostini and she still seems so food-focused that it doesn’t seem possible that this is a play. So they both grab little plates and ditch the party.

She pretty much clears her plate in under two minutes and then has half of his plate, he’s cool with it, mostly he’s just absolutely fascinated listening to her.

See here’s the thing about Cinderella:

1. She doesn’t know he’s the prince. Like yeah, he’s been at the center of the room, but she’s kind of spent half the party eagerly looking around everywhere she’s allowed to go (”Have you seen rose garden? Have you seen the solarium??” further confirmation that she doesn’t know who she’s talking to) and the other half stuffing her face with food. 

2. She assumes she’s never going to see anyone here tonight again, and no one recognizes her, so she has no filter.

So she’s just talking about whatever with this guy. He seems cool. She talks about her friends, who are rats. She makes little outfits for them. Sometimes they bring her little gifts. She is already the coolest person the prince has ever met because of this. She pretty much offhandedly talks about whatever is fucked up about the kingdom that would take his advisors two hours of hemming and hawing and watering down to address. She just says it like it’s nothing, just funky little things she’s observed, and again, she’s not aware that he’s the prince, but it’s still pretty damn bold to bring up at a literal royal ball.

She… seems to have the majority of graces that lots of girls from Respectable Families™ have, but there’s something strange about it, something simultaneously broken and hardened, like the way you can see where ice has thawed and re-frozen. Also the way she talks about her family, and the way she avoids talking about her family– is raising several red flags, not in the “Oh this is another person trying to take advantage of me” sense, but in the “Oh fuck, something’s gone really wrong and you need help” sense and also lowkey a ‘damn is she even getting fed?’ sense. But he can’t say, ‘Hey, that’s not fucking normal for people to say that to you or treat you that way. We need to get you out of there,’ without sounding crazy himself, so for now, he’s just going to chill, make sure she’s comfortable, and keep enjoying the evening. She’s somehow befriended like 4 of the waitstaff so they’re willing to cover for them while they disappear for a little bit, and they get plenty of time to talk, but eventually it hits her that she hasn’t danced yet and she’s like “Come on! I bet we can make the prince jealous!” and he just bursts out laughing at that like “hell yeah, let’s make the prince jealous. He’s a real asshole.” Like clearly she’s having a good time, so who is he to make it weird? So they head back to the ballroom and they dance. And our girl, Mystery Girl, Cinderella, while they’re dancing, becomes acutely aware that everyone is staring. That doesn’t seem quite right. Like, yeah she’s hot, she knows she’s hot, but at least a good third of the party should still be focused on the prince, right? Where is that guy, anyway?

Oh.

Oh wait.

Oh shit.

And Princey Boy actually picks up on her realization and they whisper argue for like 3 minutes. “Why didn’t you tell me?! Now I feel like a goddamn idiot!” “I dunno it was nice being treated like a normal person” “Well me treating you like a normal person makes me a goddamn felon or something did you consider that?!” “Hey–Hey–it’s cool–you’re cool–I think you’re amazing, and if anyone says shit about you, I can shut it down.” “Well I don’t like that! That’s fucked up!” “I agree. It is fucked up, but I believe in you, and I think you should have a chance, and I’m here to back you up. I know power is fucked up right now. I know. But are you cool with working with me to change that?” And our girl Cindy pauses on that for a couple seconds, because.. she’s just spent hours with this guy and like.. she knows he’s a good guy, she knows he means well, so she’s like, “I don’t know how long I can actually work with you.” and the prince is like “Look, I know your home situation is complicated right now, but I really think we can–”

And then the bell starts ringing.

It’s midnight.

And then she takes off in a panic, and our prince just met the coolest person ever, and like, he’s pretty sure whatever situation they’re headed back to is fucked up, and all he’s got going to find her is a shoe. A shoe. 

[thor-god-of-thunder]

You know, an R-rated Deadpool film is well and good, but I kind of want to see Wade show up in one of the regular X-Men films, too.

I want to see him hastily catch himself every time he’s about to say “fuck”, because he knows that the film - being rated PG-13 - is only allowed one F-bomb, and he wants to make it count.

I want to see him throw the ugliest tantrum when, after he spends the whole movie saving up that one allotted “fuck” for the perfect moment, somebody else uses it up before he has a chance.

[thor-god-of-thunder]

[thor-god-of-thunder]

Peacemaker (TV Series) 1.04 “Expelled”

[thor-god-of-thunder]

i will never see alfred the same

Ok, if anything Alfred's an otter

[thor-god-of-thunder]

tumblr got me this time

me trying not to get obsessed with doc ock again: tumblr everytime i log on: so i heard you were looking for the doc ock tag, the doctor octopus tag, the doctor octavius tag, oh! and look at these suggested doc ock fanpages!

[thor-god-of-thunder]

bruce wayne being found dead in a gay bar sounds pretty normal to me 🤔

How are they gonna explain Bruce Wayne dying?

🤷‍♂️

[thor-god-of-thunder]

me whenever i rewatch the into the spiderverse movie: i've seen it so many times, but how can i help it when it's so good ;; anyways this is miles morales obviously, his suit is really epic looking and stands out. yes i made the background myself, before anyone asks or comes at me. the scribbles on the outside of the main base drawing is actually just the sketch i made but i sprayed over it with rainbow colors because that lowkey fits miles a lot more than i thought it would errr yeah enjoy!

[thor-god-of-thunder]

love this

Dick and Wally reunited in Nightwing (2016) #88

[thor-god-of-thunder]

THIS IS ADORABLE

Dick Grayson, age 10, self proclaimed master gymnast, but he’s more well known as Robin, Batman’s first sidekick. Right now he had managed to get ahold of his father’s cowl and cape. It was far too big for him of course, but that didn’t stop him messily putting it on. Speaking in the most deep and gravely voice the small boy could muster he said to himself, “I’m the night.”

He giggled, until he felt a tap to his shoulder. He turned around and saw the Batman himself giving him an unamused look.

“I am the night. You however-” he lightly tapped his forehead “-are my star.”

[thor-god-of-thunder]

i feel like wonder woman could get away with throwing batman over her shoulder to carry him away exactly once, just because she would have the element of surprise. batman prepares for everything but there are limits. if you were batman would you ever in a million years expect a woman who is two inches shorter than you in one-inch heels to just pick you up and leave like she’s carrying a bag of sand to build a wall. like you are the victim of a cartoon caveman from the fifties. i postulate that you would not. maybe in her arms like a lumberjack’s bride, but a fireman’s carry? while he is not only conscious, but entirely capable of moving under his own power? this is the one scenario that batman never prepared for and he suffers the consequences. she could never get away with it again and so she doesn’t even try but from that moment on the possibility is always in the back of his mind. he is on alert. he wants her to try again so he can prove it won’t work this time. she never gives him the satisfaction. he can never explain to anyone how he is suffering. no one will understand. he stands on a rooftop in the rain and broods.

[thor-god-of-thunder]

16-year-old Bruce Wayne trying to be sneaky

Alfred: [stops by Bruce’s door because he hears talking] “who are you talking to?

Bruce: “uh, no one!” [shuffling noises]

Alfred: [closes his eyes and counts to 5] “I’m coming in, be decent”

Bruce: [laying in bed partially under the covers, he is shirtless] “hey Alfred”

Alfred: [raises an eyebrow at the obviously large lump under the blanket next to Bruce] “who is that?”

Bruce: “who? There’s no one here, Alfred”

Alfred: “that lump under your blanket, master Bruce. Is this what we’ve come to? Blatant lying and sneaking people in?”

Bruce: “no?”

Lump moves

Bruce: “this bed is very bouncy”

Alfred: [strides over to rip the blanket off]

Bruce: “Alfred wait, please I can explain-“

Alfred: [rips off blanket revealing a black lab who is happy panting. It’s tail immediately starts thumping at the reveal]

Bruce: “he’s my friend! and and I am already planning on rejoining him after I find the right person and I gave him a bath, he has a name, and uh, look this collar? I bought for him today. He even has a leash to go with it-oh! Look [gets up and grabs bandanna from nightstand] “he even has an outfit!”

Alfred: [slow blinks] “I was expecting a person, a girl or a lad”

Bruce: [freezes] “nono, no person or uh boys? Definitely no boys- uh um…”

Alfred: [staring at the dog in shock] “master Bruce, I will be completely honest with you I did not expect this”

Bruce: “I feel like your expectations were actually too high”

Alfred: “where did you get this dog, Bruce”

Bruce: [looking down] “I might have stolen him…”

Alfred: “I’m not going to even ask, I sure you had your reasons… please, just don’t do this again”

Bruce: “… if I were you I wouldn’t go in my bathroom then”

Cat suddenly meows loudly behind bathroom door

Alfred: [leaves the room]

[thor-god-of-thunder]

HRLP IMCRYING

Everyone says who you first marry in skyrim says a lot about you but i married that homeless guy in windhelm the Once Honored guy w the bald ass head bcs I read that unless u do he dies in the civil war and so i married him thinking i could divorce him on friendly terms and help him get back on his feet  but you cant get divorced i learned too late and he keeps asking my DB for a gold coin every day despite living in her house and yelled at meeko and then i met serana and fell in love thinking i could marry her if I got old baldy out of the picture bcs he never even changed out of his raggedy ass robes anyway so lure him into the small room in lakeview manor and close the doors so the kids dont see and one hit mercy kill him but the kids hear anyway and start screaming and the bard hears too and attacks me and I have to kill the bard and the kids are still screaming. but every time i come back the bodies wont despawn so theres just my dead homeless husband and bard in the house making the kids cower in the corner so i cast reanimate and try to walk my husband outside but that just makes things worse bcs hes making those zombie moans and as SOON as i load outside the door he turns into a giant ass zombie ash pile and goes “thank….. you….” so the rest of the game I just had my dead bald husbands goo ashes right on the front steps of my home and Seranas not even marriable 

[thor-god-of-thunder]

THIS THREAD HAS ME DYING?

Yea I like truth serum Bruce Wayne but what I really want is truth serum Bruce Wayne that makes him say the first thing he thinks. No filter. Meaning he’s either just roasting the hell out of himself the whole time or being genuine

Bruce: [sips his too hot coffee] “try waiting a minute you fucking moron”

Bruce: [nearly drops phone] “almost ten years of ninja training and you can’t even tell”

Bruce: [eating his breakfast]

Tim: “hey Bruce, still having side effects?”

Bruce: [looks up] “they’re only side effects if I squint, otherwises I just seem sarcastic and cynical”

Dick: [takes a selfie with Bruce] “what do you think?”

Bruce: “we look like shit”

Dick: “yea, we do look like shit” [deletes photo]

Bruce: [steps in water wearing socks] “I hate being alive, it’s not worth it anymore if this is the trial I have to face”

Alfred: “just take off your socks”

Bruce: “I’ll take you off my will”

Damian: “I wished you leave me alone”

Bruce: “and I wish I knew how to communicate with you properly”

Damian: “yea, because I’m so difficult”

Bruce: “because I love you and I want to be the father you deserve”

Jason: “I fucking hate you!”

Bruce: “same. Wanna make a club?”

Jason: “… wait can we?”

Bruce: “see Jason’s got more self control than me, because if I killed somebody then I’d just kill everybody. Equality, am I right?”

Bruce: “god, I’d wish you’d kids stop stressing me out”

Tim: “well sorry we can’t be perfect”

Bruce: “who said you aren’t perfect? I love all of you so much I feel like I can’t breath sometimes”

Clark: [wearing a new dress shirt]

Bruce: “you could get it”

Clark: “what?”

Bruce: “I said what I said”

[thor-god-of-thunder]

so um.. i've been drawing this since uhhhh wow it's only been 2 hours? are you kidding? anyways, yeah i like this art style and i really wanna keep it because it looks so good ;; yes.. thor, infinity war in midgard clothing. whatever you wanna call it, i really like this piece. uuuhhhhhhh i think drawing the heterochromia eyes and the scar was my favorite part

[thor-god-of-thunder]

Say it with me, friends:

WE. DON'T. SHIP. BRUCE. WITH. HIS. CHILDREN.

Ready? All together now!

WE! DON'T! SHIP! BRUCE! WITH! HIS! CHILDREN!

[thor-god-of-thunder]

i think my soul left my body while i was watching this

The Backstreet Boys performing I Want It That Way together from each of their homes is exactly what I needed today.