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My favorite thing ever is how Ron just sent Charlie a random letter like “hey yo there’s an illegal dragon at hogwarts, could you come and smuggle it out of here, please?” and Charlie was just like “yeah sure, I’ll trespass into the castle and steal a dangerous magical creature, of course, lemme just hit up my friends”

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“post-pandemic life” POST??? girl what are u talking about

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I think a common mistake people make about puns is that they often believe puns are meant to make people laugh. This is not so! The emotion that puns are meant to elicit isn’t joy, it’s rage.

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being a fan of naruto in this day and age is like….it’s just you and your thirty page thesis on konoha’s corrupt military system

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I don’t headcanon anything I just know and perceive the truth

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One of my favorite tidbits about Oblivion is that, when Bethesda brought Patrick Stewart in to play Uriel Septim, they gave him this big 90-page booklet detailing the character’s history and background and motivations, and they were really worried that they’d gone overboard and given him too much.  Meanwhile, Stewart was delighted–he’s said that it was the best character prep he’d ever been given, and he wished more people would do that.

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In other news: Angela Merkel had to take a passenger plane to Argentina because her own plane had a malfunction and today all news outlets are headlining: “MAN SEATED NEXT TO THE CHANCELLOR REVEALS ALL!!!!” and what he told the news is: “I didn’t dare speak to her but she had a yogurt and read a book.” and it reminds me of other glorious incidents as: 

That time Merkel’s chair collapsed at an opera and it made Breaking News nation-wide 

that time Die Welt announced they had “discovered the secret of the Chancellor’s wardrobe” and she told them that she picks whatever suit she feels like.

That time some magazine published her recipe for potato soup and people made videos cooking the “Chancellor-soup.”

That time a guy made an art project of Merkel looking for things in her purse

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how to determine the gender of my nipples

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Somewhere between (งಠ_ಠ)ง and  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  every day.

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in 2018 we start opressing people who like their hot chocolate with water

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simba: i ran away from home

timon: that’s so sad pumbaa play hakuna matata

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A really strong woman accepts the war she went through and is ennobled by her scars. -Carly Simon

[Print] [Kylo Ren version] [General Hux version] (coming soon)

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starbucks cashier: Okay so I need a name for the coffee

Nathanael: My name? Why? What are you planning?

cashier: ...

Bartimaeus: Step aside, stockfish.

cashier: Okay so what's the name?

Bartimaeus: Bartimaeus of Uruk, Rekhyt of Alexandria, Sakhr al-Jinni of Al-Arish, N'gorso the Mighty, Serpent of Silver Plumes

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Nathaniel: You see. People have been pointing and laughing at me all morning.

Bartimaeus: Not true. People have been pointing and laughing at you your whole life.

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王の姿の

As King Solomon

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And then, as if written by the hand of a bad author, an incredible thing happened.

-Bartimaeus, Amulet of Samarkand (via saentiel)

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Colored one of the cat hat witches and drew her a friend who works in a flower shop :)