thoughtish

[thoughtish]

A day in the life...

The sun rose, the flowers bloomed, the birds chirped. Life was buzzing and oozing out of its shell just like yesterday..

People were out for their usual walks, the newspaper and milk vendors stopped to shake hands, the flights landed on the tarmac and hugging and cheering was seen at every exit gate of the airport..

Who knew the usual, the normal was about to fade. Those smiles were just about to become dearer. The usual was just on the verge of becoming unusual soon. Who knew?

"Breaking news", the bottom red line flashed on TV. It was only morning, I thought..

Covid 19 'Corona' in the details, it read. I thought it to be just another fancy name given to a new fever somewhere in the world. Just like cyclones are named these days by countries, sipping the tea I murmured.

Who knew a worldwide thunder is around the corner?

In a few months, it has rattled life across the world, brought things to a standstill with devastating consequences everyway. China was made hugely unpopular for being the epicenter and still concealing the underlying danger of it getting spread across the world.

World and Covid, the Vikram and the betaal of 2020. Cursed by many, loved by none.

But, it was only morning I thought.

The sun will come on the head by the afternoon and deplete the cosmics, I hoped.

It was time for lunch and I was mulling over ordering some sanitized pizza to kill the covid blues, all excited to treat my tastebuds on the luxury of some Dominoregano, while bingewatching.

"Breaking news" - flashed again! A young bright man with a super infectious smile just hanged himself. Sushant Singh Rajput, it read.

My eyes couldn't unglue themself from the word 'Rajput' and were fighting a battle within on how suicide and rajput can rhyme together. I gulped my saliva and stopped my fingers from dancing on the zomato app.

Pictures of his body flashed on my whatsapp right from his bedroom and the news reporters were standing raising a mic next to his shocked dad. Apko kaisa lag raha hai - jokers in circus seemed to be on the job once again, I sat helpless, controlled with a 'hard to keep' emotionless face. My own dad next to me looked terrified, braving it himself.

The insta, fb and twitter buzzed with activity once again, beeping a million times a second with smiling faces and happy moments spent with the brilliant actor. Condolences, they call it. Time for some white clothes to come out from the closet, an opportunity for a public appearance post the lockdown, they thought.

'Be kind to others. You never know about the war within' hashtagged across all posts as if its like 'A men' at the end of a prayer. Will be forgotten soon, I thought once again.

But it was only afternoon, I thought.

"Breaking news" - a notification on my mobile screen read, as I bit my teeth across that wafer ice cream cone post dinner. Was too busy enjoying the smoky chocolate flavour, but still I thought to click on to read details. Just inquisitive, you know.

20 plus Indian soldiers martyred at the ladakh standoff with China, the headline read. Is covid over already? Does the mother nation of virus even has time to look elsewhere, beyond the well being of its citizens, I thought.

The world is fighting a battle against an unknown enemy. Even the lipstick sales have suffered a setback because of the new fashionista - the mask! The vaccine is far from discovery and there are more reasons for people to kill each other at this time, specially at this time; I wonder..

The PM tweets, the opposition blames, the news channels burst with debates, new videos on the military strength of the two nations emerge on YouTube yet again, the tricolors with shiny coffins are dusted yet again for use.

The families of these 20 martyrs, what happens to them? They can't even grieve in peace as the jokers emerge in their drawing rooms yet again forcing their children and family members to showcase those photo albums, those scrapbooks and recite those memories for news viewers for some TRP's! Is this the content we want to watch, I thought?

I am glad its midnight finally and time to sleep. But the frightening thoughts of what may happen the next day, kept me awake all through. The more we think we are in control of life, the more it slips away to make us realize our limited helpless entity in this living world!

Live the nights of your life as days before its morning again. The darkness may be creepy but regrets are even darker, scarier. You never know what adventure awaits when the sun shines again. No one can guarantee whether they will wake up the next morning.

Stay awake. Slow down. Look around. Pause. Think. Do. Love. Care. Feel. Adore. Smile. Turn around those rusty dusks of your life into sparkling times. Live it to the fullest, before its too late.

One life - kingsize! :-)

© Ishan Gupta

[thoughtish]

Cant explain it to her still.

All I know is that it takes a lot of time for me to get dedicated to someone or something. I think a lot. I wander a lot within. And when I get into it with open arms and I receive the same level of reciprocation, I tend to get lost. I isolate myself with that person or thing. I find solace in its warmth like a sitting next to a fireplace on a cold winter night. I feel full, content and I feel I have everything now. I don't need anyone else now. I have my person or thing that I always used to crave for. Now its finally time to enjoy its freshness, its ripeness ..its nectar and life will flow in the background, happily. Then suddenly when that person starts acting indifferent, confused, uncertain, intentionally distances & sounds unbothered and guiltfree, it hurts obviously. It hurts bad, much like a normal human who has given everything and beyond to this very person in all honesty, purety and consistently being selfless while handling this very person's unsurety, mood swings and silence. It does feel as if everything is lost, as if someone is amputating me part by part without any mercy. And you know what the irony is, both these people know their real feelings and feelings of each other; still this person randomly, periodically and intermittently decides to be unsure, uncertain about this other person time and again and leaves him in silence mercilessly. She knows that this person may be suffering, would be very lonely without her and will be missing her even more but she leaves him guessing, second guessing and replaying every single beautiful moment she has spent with him. She somehow feels that if she shows her care, concern, love and emotions for this person, she would get further attached or he would get further attached or both. Somebody tell her that she has already been in a wholesome soul connection with him and theres' actually nothing left now to attach, reattach or detach. Someone tell her that such connections dont fade and get overcomed by the presence of someone else. She needs to undertand this and more. She needs to unhide, come out of her shell time and again too and show how much she wants him in her life. How much she cares for him, how much she is in touch with her inner being while being with him. Yes, she must feel guiltfree and adore and treasure these feelings and voice them as much and as many times as they bubble within her heart, every single time. Confession in true sense is assurance, comfort and I will never give up on you kind of vibe. Re-confessions are as important through gestures, deeds and voicing the need to be warm in the cocoon of such a connection just as cotton candy entanged with sugar, safely with its sweetness savoured till its very existence. That's how he loves her and wants her hesitance to melt in the mouth while both relish this gratyfying association together on the taste buds of otherwise not so good life...

[thoughtish]

All I know is that it takes a lot of time for me to get dedicated to someone or something. I think a lot. I wander a lot within. And when I get into it with open arms and I receive the same level of reciprocation, I tend to get lost. I isolate myself with that person or thing. I find solace in its warmth like a sitting next to a fireplace on a cold winter night. I feel full, content and I feel I have everything now. I don't need anyone else now. I have my person or thing that I always used to crave for. Now its finally time to enjoy its freshness, its ripeness ..its nectar and life will flow in the background, happily. Then suddenly when that person starts acting indifferent, confused, uncertain, intentionally distances & sounds unbothered and guiltfree, it hurts obviously. It hurts bad, much like a normal human who has given everything and beyond to this very person in all honesty, purety and consistently being selfless while handling this very person's unsurety, mood swings and silence. It does feel as if everything is lost, as if someone is amputating me part by part without any mercy. And you know what the irony is, both these people know their real feelings and feelings of each other; still this person randomly, periodically and intermittently decides to be unsure, uncertain about this other person time and again and leaves him in silence mercilessly. She knows that this person may be suffering, would be very lonely without her and will be missing her even more but she leaves him guessing, second guessing and replaying every single beautiful moment she has spent with him. She somehow feels that if she shows her care, concern, love and emotions for this person, she would get further attached or he would get further attached or both. Somebody tell her that she has already been in a wholesome soul connection with him and theres' actually nothing left now to attach, reattach or detach. Someone tell her that such connections dont fade and get overcomed by the presence of someone else. She needs to undertand this and more. She needs to unhide, come out of her shell time and again too and show how much she wants him in her life. How much she cares for him, how much she is in touch with her inner being while being with him. Yes, she must feel guiltfree and adore and treasure these feelings and voice them as much and as many times as they bubble within her heart, every single time. Confession in true sense is assurance, comfort and I will never give up on you kind of vibe. Re-confessions are as important through gestures, deeds and voicing the need to be warm in the cocoon of such a connection just as cotton candy entanged with sugar, safely with its sweetness savoured till its very existence. That's how he loves her and wants her hesitance to melt in the mouth while both relish this gratyfying association together on the taste buds of otherwise not so good life...

[thoughtish]

Seems like nobody is bothering to question the socially accepted rules of life! 😊 The do's and the dont's are spelled out only by the wise beings and others have a moral obligation to blindly follow them otherwise be prepared to face social ridicule. Why cant a new normal be created without getting judged? Why is it difficult for people to embrace the unconventional? Planning to so something on these lines soon.