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[thoughtsofacertifiedidiot]

I love him, but f*ck Louis de Pointe du Lac. F*ck his selfish guilt, his co-dependency, and especially fuck his consortium of vers tops!

Source: @interviewgifs on Twitter

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CLAUDIA, LOUIS AND LESTAT IN INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 1X04 “THE RUTHLESS PURSUIT OF BLOOD WITH ALL A CHILD’S DEMANDING”  

“Of course, Daddy and Uncle have problems, plenty of ‘em, but they figure ‘em out quick most times. And when they can’t, I can always get in between and make it right.”

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My sims' grandfather took his Lil boo thing on a baecation, and I am in here jealous of these pixels 😅😭

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Senpai says you’re welcome

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Ep 3 of Mayfair Witches, or The One in which Rowan tries to walk to a house but is stopped by the plot.

So my major issue with Mayfair Witches is that it doesn't seem to be aware of it's own episode count, so it feels like it can have filler episodes. It cannot, and all they've been successful at doing is making me think there's not a lot of story to tell here (book fans, how dense is this story? Does it require a lot of stretching to make if a viable long running tv show?)

Not a lot happens in this episode and that worries me because we're approaching the half way mark, and it feels like we're still doing set up! I think Rowan should've gone with Carlotta. Would it be the smart choice for her? Probably not, but:

1) It would illustrate her desperation for family and answers about both her mothers (which is the whole reason she came here) 2) She asks Cip to identify the house in the picture (and later tries to go to it) but she didn't need him to do this! In Ep 2 the tour guide already told her it's The Mayfair House. Carlotta identifies herself as a Mayfair! Go with her! She is a more sure bet of having the answers you seek than stalker guy!! 3) Going with Cip is used as an opportunuty to explain The Talamasca and his powers, and do we need this right now?? We kinda get the gist of them as a supernatural bureaucratic organisation already, and Cip's powers have been demonstrated enough that I don't think anyone is hankering for a play by play. This whole thing slows down the urgency of Deidre's murder. 4.) This show needs more Carlotta/Beth Grant. There's something kooky about her performance that's made it one of the more enjoyable parts of the series. And Carlotta is the character with the most well articulated motives. She is a God-fearing (very Catholic) woman who is/thinks she is protecting her family from evil, and is fanatical about her protection (as VERY religious people often are). I want to see what her dynamic with Rowan is. It's time for Rowan really get into the woo woo shit. Also just the vibe of the aunts is so creepy. I mean, twin beds?? Give me weird adolescent sibling dynamics, yes! 5) I think Rowan meeting the Mayfairs, and experiencing the kinds of manipulation and restriction that Deidre was subjected to would be good motivation for her to run to Cip, and engender more feelings of sympathy for Deidre, and make Carlotta a viable suspect for her murder. 6) And I'm sure the Mayfairs have more of an idea about why Deidre was murdered. What is this 13th Witch thing? Why did Carlotta try so hard to keep Rowan away? Would Carlotta tell her? Probably not, but she's more likely to get some idea there than with Cip. 7) Lasher meets Rowan on the road, drugs her, seduces her, and then lures her to (what I'm assuming) is the Mayfair House. Carlotta and Catholic Hilda (seriously, what is her name?) are trying to find a way to get her to them. ROWAN ALREADY WANTS TO GO THERE! She has expressed this want! She was on her way! Why is everyone acting like she doesn't? Why are we getting in our own way?! And why get her there just to bring her back?! It's Two steps forward, two steps back! We're not moving!

Don't get me wrong, I understand why she goes with Cip. The moment is scary, and he's the only person she kinda knows. But get her to the house at some point in the episode. I mean, I would've rather heard Carlotta's explanation of what Lasher is and the evil he represents to her, and see Rowan try reckon with that, than hearing Cip repeat the vague descriptors we've been hearing since ep 1. Cip can still live his inspector gadget fantasy, cause somebody's gotta get the whodunit rolling, but this is Rowan's story. Let her drive the action! Give her things to do!

I'm gonna keep watching because I am very curious about how they're gonna write the rest of this. Most reviews I've seen and read say episodes 1-5 are meh and unfortunately that's proving to be true, but I'm nothing if not an optimist, so I'm still waiting for this story to kick it into high gear, and there are reasons for my faith. The scenes between Delphine and Carlotta are, I think, the most chilling stuff this show has done so far. Delphine's palpable fear? Carlotta's completely unsubtle manipulations? The race and class power dynamics at work? Her crushed in head?! Horro! Thriller! Good shit! It puts Carlotta up as a front runner for primary antagonist. There is something here, there's potential here. Let's hope we're done laying the groundwork and are finally going to tap into it.

Minor Asides:

So how does Lasher work?? Cause the reason Carlotta betrays Delphine is to trap Lasher, but he's still free enough to set fire to buildings, and dance around a funeral procession with Rowan??

What exactly were the Talamasca's protections? Cause Lasher could still find Rowan, and Rowan could just leave the building, so what did they actually do??

Witch hunters..... yay? I don't know. One the one hand, potential for some action and aggresive witchy woo, but one the other hand seems like a set up for Rowan to girlboss feminisim at some Men, a tactic employed by many "Show For/About Women," which can sometimes feel rote.

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So I started watching 911 because I was in the market for a new procedural, and Angela Bassett. After watching season 1, I looked it up online, see what people are saying, check out the fan community etc etc, and imagine my delight when I came across the #BUDDIE ship. Now I'm thinking "Oh wonderful this new guy's going to be gay and trigger a bisexual awakening in our sweet boy, followed by shenanigans and dramatic speeches about love and soulmates, and overcoming in the name of love and soulmates. Yay for me!" ...

Come to find it's not canon. Non-canonical! Non-canonical??! NON-CANONICAL??!! Why ,in the year of our Beyoncé 2023, would you put hot men with chemistry on my screen and not make them yearn for eachother?! I know we have our resident lesbian, and my fictional bestie, Hen holding it down for the alphabet mafia but her relationship stuff kinda gets put on the back burner cause this is a workplace drama. Our emotional investment is with the people who primarily exist in this space, so it's hard to care that much about an outsider. So new hot firefighter enters the scene, making Buckley feel threatened until they build a camaraderie--that everyone can see is more-- which simmers until someone makes an insane love confession after losing the victim in whatever thematically appropriate case they're handling. It just bring the drama. It's all right there!

Shout out to the fan edit community. You got me. I've been spoiled by IWTV and Our Flag Means Death and Killing Eve and Hannibal cause now my brain thinks "gay fancams set to Taylor Swift songs = canonical gay couple." Y'all really had me convinced that at some point I was going to watch Bobby give Buck a cheesy but quietly moving speech about allowing yourself to be who you are.....I thought that boy was gonna be a co-parent! Lol! Like, what are they doing?!

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The Mayfair Witches premiere was fine. It seems like it's a show that will take it's time with the story, which is certainly a choice when you only have 8 episodes but IWTV bought enough goodwill for me to give it a real chance. My only real issues with it so far are:

Rowan is not the most interesting character in this premiere, Deirdre is. I'm hoping that once Rowan gets enmeshed in all the real magical gothic shit that that will change. Right now she feels very blank.

Lasher is not hot enough. I haven't read the books but my understanding is that he's a seductive demonic force trying to create his perfect vessle through the Mayfairs, and shit gets weird and sexy. This man is not giving that. He's a gruff voice and nothing else. It's so.... blah. Even when he's supposed to be actively seducing Deirdre to his side there's nothing there. He presents the prospect of their partnership with very little lust, yearning, love, horror, drama, anything! Like sir, do you NEED her to do this or not? It's a hook with no bait. The dialogue and cinematography don't really help him in that moment either, but if you're going to be sparing about those things cast someone with the charm to elevate the material. I'm hoping this changes as we go forward,he needs to get sexier & more terrfying, and so does his dialogue.

This premiere has been most successful at making me curious about the history of the Mayfairs, which should help elevate the Rowan arc because we'll be discovering these things together. But I am invested in adult Deirdre, what her life has been all this time, what she understands about her world now, and what she wants. Hopefully things get more gothic and dramatic in the coming episodes

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Thoughts I had watching GG S2 E5

So we're really doing this affair thing? The spirit of Serena lives on

Sir, where is your wife??!

I thought her mum couldn't afford this place. Did we resolve this??.... You know what, don't tell me.

TWINCEST! 😂😂 Will never get over this

Who is this person?

Oh right, Obie has a sister and mother he hates because they haven't figured out how to be ethical billionaires, and that's a thing I'm sure he believes exists

I don't remember the dress....... should I remember the dress? Was it a moment?.. Well if I have to ask....

This feels like a conversation for ...not here

They're trying a lot harder to make me believe these people are longtime friends and I appreciate that

What are these teachers....... you know what? No. Don't engage. just hold your breath and let it pass

Why does it feel like Nick and Julien are co-parenting Zoya?

Wow... the casual biphobia. How very Real O'Neals of them

Is every storyline about these 3 going to be about the insecurities stemming from this relationship?

I said I wouldn't engage but, it's Georgina right? The blackmailer is Georgina?

Look at Shan, sneaking liquor, like a child with parents who set limits....... a nice little moment

"We're never boring," guess that gene skipped Obie

Julien, this could've, SHOULD'VE, been a text

"...For Z"?? For Z?! Baby you are not her mum!

What does this man want from Julien? Get a job! Stay away from her! Call your wife!

These adults need to READ THE ROOM

Call her? Like if we're being good boyfriends then call the person who is clearly spiralling

HA! Audrey can be so fun

Now why is Monet in it?

At what point during the 3 hours of your adult day that you have spent driving two teenagers ,you barely know, to the Hamptons do you start questioning your life choices?

See, even he knows it could've been a text! I hate it when y'all put me in a position to agree with a man.... but his foolish ass shouldn't be texting her anyway! And the correct thing would've been to dead that shit and apologise for letting it go so far via text! Ugh..... okay I'm good again. Onward

I'm sorry, she took you to a party in a different city and did what?! Baby that girl is not your friend. Never hangout with her again.

Okay, so Audrey is fun when she's got a silly little mission. She's so good when she strong arms her way to the Hamptons and when she and Max were playing detective? Wonderful! Entertainment! Comedy! But this *gestures vaguely in the direction of the triad* can't always be the motivation for it. Not only is the resolution going to be the same, "we need to be better about communicating", so the stakes feel pretty non-existent but it's also robbing us of what could be a stellar performance. Give this girl shenanigans! Point her in the direction of a farce! Let her be a little maniac outside of this relationship

Oh she's cutting him off for real for real?

Imagine being Helene and seeing a random man playing a cello in your driveway in the middle of the night. Maybe she thinks it's normal. Like "Oh, I guess someone sent me a cellist, how nice." Or "Did I order a cellist when I was drunk online shopping... again?" I don't know what wealthy people do

Does Obie have a dad?

Gonna test these conviction now Obie.

Huh, I have the most minimal interest in Obie.... Wow! Pats on the back for everyone! You have truly achieved something here.

Julien is messing around with a married man and Obie is broke? We're really walking in the path of our predecessors here. The writers really said "Reject modernity, embrace tradition."

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Ethan's willingness to jeopardize his relationship to gain male acceptance is how I know patriarchy is failing us all.

Dude is ready to fumble Aubrey Plaza! AUBREY! PLAZA!

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II don't think Louis is a hostage necessarily. I think his regimented life with Armand allows him to live a vampiric existence that doesn't throw him into existential dread. There is no need to hunt, or interact a great deal with the outside world it seems. The pages of Claudia's diary that would be too much for him are carefully removed. In that penthouse, with Armand's assistance/encouragement, he can rationalize his past and maintain the veneer of detachment and strength.

I think the interview is a test of that strength and a testament to how long this has been going on. In an interview Jacob Anderson mentioned how Louis didn't expect to be so affected by talking about Claudia, and that's next level wild. He believes in the lie, he believes in this artificial strength. That's why he cowers and runs in that last scene, he's not running from Armand, he's running from Daniel. Daniel who no longer wishes to play into the artifice, Daniel who is showing him how feeble his strength is against the greater power of truth. (Sidenote: I also think it's sad-funny how he runs to ground himself in a space that is a mimic of the natural world. Grounding himself in artifice when he can't/doesn't want to face truth)

I think he means it when he says Armand is the love of his life. Not for healthy love reasons, but because Armand is his enabler. He maintains (and maybe constructed?) a world in which Louis can be the vampire Louis wants to be. He "protects" Louis from the depth of his despair and the gravity of his failures. "Mastering" the intense emotions that characterise past Louis. Contrast this with Lestat who is all about "Embrace what you are Louis!" He revels in the moments when Louis acts out, he wishes he'd act out more, because he believes those moments to be the truth of who he is.

Do I have a point? I don't think so, other than I can't wait to see where this goes, and a pretty cage is still a cage.

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louis, mon cheri, share avec moi these airpods….. i have discovered a most captivating songstresse, a mademoiselle Carly Rae Jepsènne. écoute….. does not this saxophonne bewitch you? truly she is the donizetti of her time. and this next song, oooh my leuouis….. the poetry of this lyric….. before miss jepsènne’s beloved came into her life, she missed him so bad. it seems to me she sings of our invisible cord, non?

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Look at my girl. My demon angel baby, my little waif, my belladonic beauty. Mastermind. Visionary. Look at her childlike glee as she triumphs over her enemies.

The true MVP

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Now Louis. Whew boy, you stay suffering. I need you to get a therapist Louis, I need you go to on an Eat,Pray, Love journey. I need you to stop seeking salvation, purpose, and acceptance in other people, because this little situation with Armand is giving me pause.

What kinda fucked up power play is all the Rashid stuff? Cause in this context babe the whole thing is sketch, not just for Daniel, but for you! He seems to be in charge of everything in that household, from staff to your schedule. "Louis can sometimes act out. I protect him from himself, always have," at your big age, your colossal age, why is he talking about you like a puppy?! It's just "I do everything for Louis," all over again.

We're back at square one! Daniel has assumed the role of the priest, taking your (editorialized) confession, you're disillusioned with your vampiric life, and you're in a relationship with someone who seems to exercise some control over your life. How are we back at square one?!

Baby, leave these men alone and get your head right

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The subservience masking power and control is very scary. Louis I am scared for you babe

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One thing about me, I give 10s when 10s are due. Claudia, here you go: 🔟🔟🔟🔟🔟💐💐💐💐💐💐🔟🔟🔟🔟🔟🔟🔟

Cause bay-bee, you did that! You understood the board and the players. You formulated a plan and executed it with such aplomb that, had he not been its victim, Lestat would've been proud. Did you need a better partner in crime? Absolutely, but that's family, and we all have our blind/weak spots. Besides, you said, "I can't be free until we're both free!" And followed through while serving looks!

The smartest! The baddest! The realest! Who is doing it like her?! The true winner of S1

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"Cattin' around with some white man, I hear"

"White master, black student, but equal in the quiet dark"

"You and your pale lover"

"You and your white daddy doing fine in the Quarter"

"We are his slaves"

This show never misses an opportunity to tell Louis that he is/was a disciple of Tamera. The spirit never needed to call for it had a home within him

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Just........ Everyone in this scene, are you not embarrassed? Are you not ashamed of yourself? 😂 Lord, spare me from love/dick that would have me acting like this 🙏🏾

I know these bitches heard Ctrl and got their lives! Listening to SZA like "That used to be me! She gets it!"