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Young Andy Samberg -   Football Town(The Lonely Island)

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merthur + touch

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[insp.]

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Cullens: “Drinking human blood is morally wrong!”

Me: *going through the sex offender registry to find my next meal*

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Reblog with ur favorite twilight headcanon, controversial or not

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carlisle walking into the house after a long day of saving lives to find edward pouting at his piano, alice hanging upside down like a bat from the ceiling, rosalie throwing darts at edward to watch them explode upon impact, emmett with his face super glued to the kitchen counter, and esme building a minivan sized replica of the trojan horse in the middle of the backyard

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Me, when i realized Jake imprinted on Renesmee in Breaking Dawn:

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so like i know the ending to life and death was different from twilight but can you fucking imagine if it progressed the same and julie black yelled at beau all “YOU CANT FUCK!!!!!! SHES GONNA CRUSH YOUR DICK TO DEATH BEAU!!! WITH HER SUPER STRONG VAMPIRE KEGELS!!!!1!”

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jesus, here i thought it was just me being stupid when i cant explain my oc reaching for a fork-

what people think is hard about writing: describing the joy, love, beauty, grief, loss and hope that form the richness of human experience

what is actually hard about writing: describing basic actions such as turning, leaning over, reclining, gesturing, saying something in a quiet voice, breathing, getting up from chairs, and walking across rooms

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I blame this woman for my obsession with spaghetti looking average ass white boys

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what if instead of biting you, a vampire just jammed a capri sun straw into your neck

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Could you imagine if edward had just been some regular dude like fucking around with bella and she said with the utmost confidence “i know what you are…..you’re a vampire” and he’s just out there alone with her in the middle of the forest like

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i think i must just have died

ROBERT PATTINSON Dior Homme Eau de Toilette › 2020

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Full Moon

Chapter 2

Noah sighed, rolling her eyes at the trivial High School drama unfolding in front of her. All her friends were discussing whether Mike Newton was too old to ask out. Of course, he was, she thought to herself. He was two years older than all of them, herself included. Not that she wanted to ask him out, not a chance. He wasn’t her type – None of the guys at this school were. In fact, she wasn’t really interested in the opposite sex at all. She wasn’t gay, she was sure of it, but she just wasn’t interested in dating. It was a waste of time; most high school sweethearts ended up breaking up anyway, so what was the point in falling in love with someone who wouldn’t even be in your life two years from now?

But of course, her friends didn’t think like that. All they could think about was boys. Boys, boys, boys. Must be all the hormones, she thought. She sighed again, looking away from her friends, and around in the high school cafeteria instead. Silently, she took a bite of her apple, chewing slowly so she wouldn’t have to answer if any of the others asked her a question about some Mike Newton. She didn’t have the patience to lecture them about the tragedy of teen romance today.

Sometimes she could be too much, she knew that. She was too opinionated. She had an opinion about everything. If she didn’t, she would quickly form one. She couldn’t help it, and mostly, it didn’t seem to bother people. She meant good, and never intended to hurt people, but she sometimes ended up doing just that. She was no stranger to her own flaws.

As she looked around, she noticed that one empty table in the cafeteria, and for a second her thoughts wondered. The Cullen’s hadn’t been seen in Forks for a very long time. Not since Isabella Swan and Edward had ‘eloped’ together. Shortly after the Cullen’s had disappeared too. Now, six months later, it was like they never even existed. People had stopped talking about them, and no one ever even mentioned Isabella Swan. Not even her previous classmates. Of course, they we’re seniors now, so one could only presume that they had a lot of other things to think about. Like graduating.

Noah blinked. Tearing her eyes away from the empty table, and her thoughts about the strange, long lost family, and instead focused on remembering her lines for the upcoming presentation in Biology Class. Presenting in front of the class wasn’t a problem – As long as she knew her stuff. Luckily for her, she had been partnered with the bright minds of her class, so perhaps she could lean back at bit, and just let them shine. Biology would never be her time to shine anyways, it was much too boring.

Later that day, when school was finally over, she sat in her car, looking down at grocery list in her hands. Milk, eggs, baking powder… And so on. Perhaps her mom was making pancakes. I hope so, she thought to herself as she drove out of the parking lot, and out into the main road, heading towards town.

The week ahead of her seemed impossible, and it had barely even started. It was only Tuesday, yet she longed for the weekend. Probably because of this day’s upcoming events. She cringed, turning up the volume of the radio, currently playing some random CD. She barely even heard the words, her mind too occupied with other things.

Today she was visiting her dad. Something she had been doing a lot more recently. Even though ‘a lot’ seemed to be the wrong description. She had never really been that close to her dad. Sure, she’d visited him on weekends, holidays and he’d even thrown the occasional birthday party throughout her childhood, but they’d never been close. Not like most teenagers were with their parents. And up until recently, it wasn’t really something she’d been ready to do something about.

When she was younger, she’d always pondered over the fact that she didn’t have that bond that her peers seemed to have with their dad’s. But then she’d remember how lucky she was to have a mom who was so caring, and loving and attentive, that she’d always just pushed the thought away, and decided to be happy about what she did have, instead of moaning about what she didn’t have. Being ungrateful wasn’t nice.

But the older she got, the more she thought about it. So, at the start of the year, some time after her fifteenth birthday, she’d stopped seeing him at all. She was mad. Mad at him for not trying enough. But months had passed, and she had finally admitted to herself that perhaps their relationship just needed a little work. First step would be to tell him how she felt. Not today, though, she thought to herself. Today would just be about visiting him, ask him about his life, and maybe apologize for being such a crappy daughter all year.

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i just now realized that i identify way more with emmett than first assumed... what an intersting turn of events 

The Cullen men be like...

Carlisle: Even though I am a monster I must cling to my humanity by doing good deeds!

Edward: I am damned to an eternity in Hell so I must protect the honor and life of my true love.

Jasper: Despite my terrible and violent past, all I want is to keep my new family safe and learn to control myself.

Emmett:

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.... seems fitting

I can’t even comment on this one… 

Reblog with your own cause of death XD