tiggersorangelove-blog - Tumblr blog

tiggersorangelove-blog · 3 years

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TW: S**cide & D*ath

I know I haven’t updated this blog in years but I thought maybe you should all know that Tigger, at age 15, was put down in February. He was having a lot of health problems, the vet suspected he had a cancer too advanced to cure, and with other issues too, he just couldn’t go on. I still remember when I made this blog, I was 15 I believe, and I just did this for fun cause I figured the internet would love Tigger too. Recently I found a reblog from this blog in my main account, @curlyjoe7 ‘s, archive and since I’ve been having a lot of trouble moving forward with his death I hoped maybe this would help me let it all out finally. In December 2019 we put down his brother, Zorro, due to heart failure and ever since I’ve been having a lot of mental health issues as I’m absolutely horrible with change and grief. So having to put Tigger down this year too has just completely broken me. I was 5 years old when we got him, I’m 21 now, and I still remember the day we got him from a local shelter. He was the first animal to get adopted from that shelter as it was brand new and at the time they only took donations so we got Tigger for $25. We got Zorro 3 years later from the same shelter so I grew up with them both along with another cat, Zoey, that was apart of a 4 kitten litter born from a pair of cats we had when I was 1. When my dad lost his job when I was 2 and we were going to be homeless my great grandmother took us in and told us we could only bring 1 cat and we chose Zoey cause she looked like both her parents. Zoey died when I was 11 out of the blue, from what we have no idea so there was nothing we could do for her. Those cats were my childhood and I even used to write about them being secret agents. I stopped writing those stories after Zoey died. And now that they are all gone, I can’t think about those stories without getting upset. I’ve already gotten over Zoey years ago and I am already still not over Zorro so Tigger’s death too is just... so painful and hard for me to deal with. I developed severe depression when I was 14 and it was so bad I didn’t think I’d live to 16, as I thought I was gonna kill myself before then. At the time I genuinely thought no one cared about me but that’s when Tigger attached himself to me. No matter how many times I tried to get him to leave me alone, he never did, cause he loved me too much to leave me be like that. Him caring that much about me was the only thing that kept me from killing myself cause I couldn’t bare the idea of leaving him in all that pain over my death. He used to like it when I sang to him and it always felt like he was listening to every word I sang or spoke. He would get up on my bed to lay as close to me as he could and would let me rest my head on him to cry even though it soiled his fur. He was the sweetest cat we’ve ever had. Getting over him is going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. So with that I want to say: Tiggy Man, I love you so so so much and I’m sorry you had to feel all that pain at the end. I hope you aren’t mad at us for not letting you go sooner, we didn’t fully understand your pain and honestly just didn’t have the heart to lose you too yet. And that is a burden I know we will live with our whole lives. Though knowing you, I know you could never be mad at us cause you loved us all so much. You we’re apart of the family and truly the best $25 we ever spent as you were worth a trillion as you had a heart of gold cause as they say: “The wonderful things about Tigger’s is that Tigger’s are wonderful things.” And you truly were absolutely wonderful. The only unfortunate thing about Tiggers is that there is only one because I know there will never be another cat, or even another soul, like you. Now go run and play on your new paw paws with Zoey and Zorro. You will forever hold a special place in our hearts, Tiggy Man. Thank you for saving my life.

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tiggersorangelove-blog · 5 years

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