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why are we pitting two bad bitches against each other

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if you're feeling powerless right now—and god knows I am—here's a reminder you can donate to the National Network of Abortion Funds, the Trans Law Center, Gaza Soup Kitchen, the Palestine Children's Relief Fund, and hundreds of other charities that will work to mitigate the damage that has been and will continue to be inflicted

life continues. we still have the capacity to do good, important work. that matters

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meticulously assembling a bicycle wheel out of toilet paper roll scraps and hot glue just for the hell of it

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just got caught up with bob's burgers, and so far I'm enjoying season 14 much more than I expected to!

not to say I went into these new episodes assuming I wouldn't like them, but certainly the past few seasons (10–12 for sure) have fallen into a rut where like, there's a handful of episodes that are pretty solid, there's one or two that annoy me enough to skip over on any rewatch, and the majority are deeply neutral. the plots are just okay, the jokes are a little lacking, but the fundamental dynamics are still there, and I like those enough that bob's remains one of my go-to shows to have on in the background, even if I don't feel inspired or compelled enough to engage with the show the way I used to

but season 14 has been an unexpected departure (and actually, I think the back half of 13 as well) — it's funny, because I don't actually think the show is as funny as it used to be, but they're taking bigger swings with the plots in a way that's very rewarding to watch! I don't mind that there are fewer jokes, because I'm invested in the more emotional turns the show is taking

like—holy shit, "the amazing rudy"? a standout from start to finish. and I think a great example of what this season is doing in terms of its emotional arcs, and what I'm glad it's leaning into

I've felt very neutral toward bob's the past couple years, because it's felt so staid. there's an accepted level of consistency that bob's or any other animated sitcom maintains, and I get that, but I think the show really really struggled in its recent seasons with honoring that consistency, roughly maintaining the status quo, while also creating plots that were—and this sounds bad to say—but, plots that were interesting. there were a lot of low stakes, anticlimactic resolutions, unexciting premises—situations where there's not a lot of room for the writing to go, and not a lot for the characters to play off

but what I think this latest season is doing so well is leaning into its history, taking advantage of all the episodes of relationships and interactions and story they've developed to create setups that really fucking land! "the amazing rudy" is a phenomenal episode, but would it have hit as well in season 4 or 5, when we've only met rudy a handful of times? maybe, but I think it's so much more rewarding as this late series entry, when it can pay off all the previous mentions of rudy's home life, his relationship with his dad, his relationship with his—until this ep—unseen mom, his hobbies, his anxieties, his friendship with louise, the role the belchers play in his life—it's so good!!

this season is a couple eps shorter from the strike, but really hoping that the rest of the 14 and what's to come in 15 follows the trend, because it feels like the show is finally starting to figure out its voice and its footing again

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Alright no prank this time guys, here have your precious annoying beans instead ♥️

I accidentally made Gene look so ridiculously smol in this one but hmm, maybe he should be 👀👀

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hey Fully Weeping after rewatching the amelia earhart ep

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Rating: General Audiences Characters: Bob Belcher, Teddy (Bob’s Burgers) Additional Tags: Crack Treated Seriously Words: 545

“How come the kids don’t age, Bob?”

Bob stops, midway through laying a slice of prosciutto on the Cured-ious Case of Ben-ham-in Button burger. He looks up at Teddy through the service window and blinks a few times, sure he must’ve misheard. “What?”

“How come the kids don’t age?” Teddy says again, this time around a mouthful of fries. “It’s not a bad thing, I’ve just been wondering. And maybe even a little jealous, too—yeesh, what I wouldn’t give to have gotten a few more years before the sciatica started flaring up, am I right?”

“Teddy, what are you talking about?” Bob asks, once it becomes clear this isn’t some bit. “Of course the kids age. We have their baby pictures.”

“Oh, sure—little Tina with her great big glasses, and Gene and Louise in diapers. Man, imagine you with three toddlers these days? You’d have less hair than you do now.”

“Thanks, Teddy.”

“But, like, when’s the last time you noticed any of them getting any older? I was cleaning out my garage the other day, and was going through my holiday decorations, and it got me thinking. Just seems like every year, it’s Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas—”

“Yeah, that’s how time works.”

“—and meanwhile there are your kids, looking pretty much the same as they did the year before, you know? Doesn’t it feel like Tina should be in high school by now, or Louise in middle school? I guess they could be, and maybe I just don’t know it, but there’s no way you wouldn’t share something like that, right? Man, Tina in high school—it’s making me feel older just thinking about it.”

“Teddy, don’t be silly. She’s barely a teenager—”

But then Bob stops, because even though he’d swear Tina just turned thirteen last year, it also seems like she’s maybe been thirteen for a long time. She’s got a birthday coming up soon, and how old will she be again? He knows she’s can’t be turning fourteen yet.

There’s a burger on the grill he needs to flip, but now Bob can’t focus on anything but the number of fourth-grade parent-teacher conferences it feels like he and Linda have gone to for Louise, how long it seems that Gene’s been on the cusp of puberty, summer breaks that blend one into the other before the school year resets. When’s the last time any of the kids’ shoe sizes changed?

Oh, God, how has he never noticed this before?

“Hey, Bob,” Teddy calls over again. “You know what else I was thinking about the other day? How come the earth always looks flat, even when you’re up in an airplane? I’m just saying, if the world’s supposed to be round, don’t you think we should be able to see it?”

“Uh,” Bob says, coming abruptly back to himself. “No, Teddy, I don’t think it works that way.” And then he goes back to mostly tuning Teddy out as he finishes assembling the burger, the way he usually does, rolling his eyes at himself for having gotten suckered down one of Teddy’s rabbit holes. Of course he’s got nothing to worry about, it was just Teddy being Teddy.

The kids not aging—imagine thinking something as crazy as that.

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not quite the strong handshake meme but something to that effect where one side is the doomed commercial area from disco elysium and on the other is the empty storefront next to bob's burgers that has a different business every intro

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I loved the holiday special showdown tournament! what would you think about doing one to find the best songs? I'm a fan of a bunch of their original songs, and I know that the longer ones would do well in the long run, but I'd like to see which smaller ones can hold their own for the longest

so glad you liked it!

and oh dip, that's a real cool idea! it'd be much more of a beast to put together (are we counting any bit of lyrics and melody as a song? do we include jimmy jr's museoms, or the bits we hear from percy mctinsle-bud's album? there are certainly a Lot and so maybe some initial entry-level polls to see which ones make it into the bracket, or one bracket for the big numbers and a smaller one for the honorable mentions?) I'd have to think about the best way to structure it (it only feels fair to include audio clips with the polls, since a title alone might not jog your memory, but that'd also be a lot to put together) but I definitely think it'd be fun to do!

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i think ppl need to start putting suns with sunnies in their drawings more often again

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the results are in!

you all voted, the competition was close (incredibly close—I don't think either episode was up by more than 3% over the whole day, and there were a couple times when it was a straight tie), but with a final result of 51% to 49%, the winner has been declared

turkey in a can was tough competition, but at the end of the day, only one holiday special could take the crown

congratulations to the hauntening!

massive thank you to everyone who voted and participated! this was incredibly fun to run, with lots of outcomes I wasn't expecting, and a match-up for the ages as our finale. halloween isn't for eight more months, but it will always be hauntening season in our hearts

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