tintinnabulummsstuff

[tintinnabulummsstuff]

[tintinnabulummsstuff]

I read that the antonym

for depression is expression.

And here i’am,

witnessing the light of my creativity extinguishing.

Staring wildly at

the emotions which refuse

to show up to the surface.

But i will scratch myself

until all the poison blood

bleeds out of my gut.

I will squeeze my heart tight

With all my might

until it begins to beat again.

I will pour gold liquid into

the cracks of my soul.

I will

try

try

try.

[tintinnabulummsstuff]

So much has happened. So many emotions have surfaced, lingered and vanished. How a feeling can completely consume you, and vanish within a fleeting heartbeat , like smoke rings in air. The agony of any sensation, and how it is not your heart nor the body to be tamed, but the mind where voices move back and forth, like waves. Lights, how they blind my inner visions, qnd demand my existence to throw myself out in the feilds; of my life, of my skin colour, of the solid floors, the dirty dishes, the laundary, and my polka dot journal resting lifelessly on the table. I like to look in the mirror, in between the weary pauses. I like watching myself, without judgment, yet taking notes about all the flaws that have been attached to my surface, some from my ancesters, and most from my journey as a human.

[tintinnabulummsstuff]

#poetry #literaure #art #artists