tinynerdycthulu

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if yue qingyuan was an idol shen jiu would be a crazy sasaeng that buys like 1 thousand copies of his albums just to be the only person yqy ever sees on fancalls. like that one video of that clearly uncomfortable idol saying "i saw you yesterday" to a fan but yue qingyuan is actively sobbing in joy and begging sj to break into his dorm next. bonus points if he's either: a. the nugu-est of nugu idols or b. bts maknae line level of popularity

[tinynerdycthulu]

Tiansu is problematic because it's hetbait. You think it's gonna be a man and a woman then they pull the rug and it's just malewife/femalehusband yaoiyuri

[tinynerdycthulu]

Both Meng Fan and Ning Yingying treat Shen Qingqiu like he's their single mother but the key difference is Meng Fan thinks his mom must remain pure and untouched forever while Ning Yingying is signing her mom up for dating apps

[tinynerdycthulu]

blah blah blah moshang/bingqiu fic that seems like your stereotypical bodyguard/noble fic but no one realizes shang qinghua is the noble and shen yuan is actually just the third son of a mildly prestigious family who became a knight.

shang qinghua is arranged to be married to mobei-jun and luo binghe, mbj's assistant, is the one whoe escorts him and his knight sy to the castle. the journey is pretty long so they end up talking to each other and luo binghe somehow comes to the conclusion that shen yuan is the prince.

shang qinghua doesnt bother to correct him and he orders cucumber-bro not to. to him it makes sense because hes not really princely. plus he can admit shen yuan is extremely unintentionally seductive and lbh is clearly already smitten anyway. plus its super fucking funny to see cucumber-bro completely oblivious to lbh's desperate pining.

(luo binghe's inner monologue: i can't,,,he's my lord's betrothed,,,but he's so kind,,,so lovely,,,i must Resist my base urges,,,)

anyway they finally make it to the palace and lbh is crushed that shen yuan doesnt seem sad at all (is he just fine with marrying a complete stranger? even his bodyguard is sadder than he is!)

before the "official meeting" shang qinghua literally runs into mobei-jun. b/c he's gotten into the bodyguard role he immediately prostates himself and apologizes. cue shock from lbh when mobei-jun falls over himself (well, reaches down 1% quicker than usual) to help his fiance up.

lbh: is my lord smitten with...the ugly rat man? ths servant? when yuan-ge is right there???

(yes they've dropped honorifics, they dropped honorifics like 1 day into the journey bc shen yuan doesnt know what boundaries are)

mobei-jun for his part is completely perplexed. shang qinghua is obviously his future empress, who else would it be?

lbh ofc doesnt care about the whole trickery thing once he realizes he can court shizun to his hearts desire.

bonus cumplane double wedding. everyone thinks mobing were the ones who arranged it because cumplane get into a violent fight during the feast. actually luo binghe cried for 10 straight hours at his shizun's feet trying to convince him to change his mind.

[tinynerdycthulu]

Scum villain fandom is so wonderful because every artist in it is a perverted freak. Like living in a reverse world where foot fetish is normal and missionary is weird

[tinynerdycthulu]

wow the joshanda post is how I learn you're desi? desi scummies represent ✊🏽 scummies are a scarce breed as it is, but desi scummies are even harder to come by on this american-ass website

This one goes out to all four of us in the world

[tinynerdycthulu]

[Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint] I hate this bastard (I love him so much he makes me cry just thinking about him)

Plleaasssee I just want him and his daughter to be happy forever and ever stooppp iittt

[tinynerdycthulu]

Sick and tired of the lack of yue qingyuan simps in the scum villain fandom

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write on the wall

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im not a shen jiu apologist, im a yue qingyuan kinnie. i wont defend him to his haters because i know he'd hate me more than them if i tried to paint him as a good person. when shen jiu throws teacups at my head and i dont ask why but look very very sadly at the ground like a kicked puppy and let the boiling hot tea drip down.

[tinynerdycthulu]

modern au where tianlang-jun and su xiyan happen to meet on a sugaring website and end up going on a date and having a conversation on "alpha males." tlj thinks they're talking about the porny porn ruts & knotting kind of alpha and sxy thinks they're talking about the weird cuckoldry fetish & extremely misogynist kind of alpha. by the end they're nearly shouting b/c su xiyan told tianlang-jun that his favorite actor (sqq) gives off beta cuck vibes (tlj thinks this is top/bottom discourse)

everyone on the street is peering at them as they're sitting at a table in the middle of a completely deserted restaurant because. surely that couple know its a poorly diguised front for the mafia??? the waiter tries to kick them out for the third time after they start making out sloppy style and they invite him to be their third (they've been dating for 10 minutes)

[tinynerdycthulu]

I think Binghe would mesh really well with some variety of deep sea fish. On behalf of myself and my marine biologist sister, might I request scaly-foot snailhe?

👍👍 I hope I drew the right species!

[tinynerdycthulu]

i feel like the most reverse transmigration binggeyuan fic imply or outright state that sqh also hasnt transmigrated, which is such a missed opportunity. lets say you're binghe and you suddenly transport to a foreign world. you meet a man that looks remarkably like your evil shizun...but isnt...blah blah blah

obviously you fall in love but then you venture into his bedroom and you see a conspiracy theory wall littered with red string, hastily scribbled addresses, zhongdian usernames, and at the very center, a picture of someone (who is in your opinion so freaking ugly, shizun -- oops, shen yuan, he doesnt like that -- could do some much better) so you take a closer look and you see a snippet of extremely bad porn. about yourself.

the drama. the chaos. shen yuan absolutely refusing to justify why he hired a p.i to investigate the mysterious disappearance of his favorite porn author. the horrifying familiarity of the porn...isn't it just like something that the mobei-jun once showed him that he claimed his husband wrote???

[tinynerdycthulu]

this is our life

[ID: Everything is seen through the fisheye POV. they are in a laundromat. shen yuan’s arm is extended past the frame, implying his hold on either a camera/phone. in front of him is a counter, with fries, an opened ketchup, and a cup of soda on it. he is talking to shen jiu, who stands to his left. shen jiu has his own arm outstretched towards the cup close to shen yuan. in his other arm is a calico cat. in the background luo binghe sits on the floor with an arm on his knee. he leans against another counter, beside a pug playing with a red ball. he is conversing with yue qingyuan, who is leaning over the counter with his arms crossed, smile on his face. on this counter is a fanny pack with a cat charm on it, a black backpack with red designs, a bottle of soap, and opened fast food items. text in the color of yellow, with black background, reads “I choose you” from above, and “and you choose me” from below. END ID.]

this movie WRECKED ME.

[tinynerdycthulu]

shen qingqiu????

[tinynerdycthulu]

AU where lbh decided that he wants to become a streamer,, he starts on youtube with cute vlog that seem like family style videos until people realise the guy who hes nicknamed "shizun >_<" with like 50 other kaomojis seems to be unaware?? that theyre dating??? also he occasionally says the most out of pocket sentences that either show hes crazy or just so rich hes detached from reality. people start following him because they cant tell if hes fr or its a really good satire account + hes really handsome,,

when shen yuan tells him that they cant hang out under the guise of tutoring anymore bc its time for shen yuan to graduate and go out into the working world (a corporate job is essentially the endless abyss lets be real) lbh changes his username to Demon_Lord666 and start gaming. he gains more followers because of the sheer dichotomy of him absolutely demolishing people in the vc and then sobbing when theres a teacher figure/elder brother figure in the storyline of any quest

people start making reddit threads about him because people really cant figure out if hes real., he ends up becoming a cryptid which isnt helped by the way he one day changed his username to "shizuns<3" and disappeared from the internet

[tinynerdycthulu]

bingqiu where after one hundred years of working himself up to talking about sex, sqq confesses (in the most indirect way possible) to having a breeding kink, and lbh would LOVE to breed his shizun but also HATES the idea of actually sharing his shizun ("i can't actually get pregnant, I don't have a womb," sqq tells him, and shang qinghua pips in like "there's for sure a plant somewhere around here that makes you grow one, that seems like something I'd do," and sqq is like "Why Are You In This Conversation") so whenever they do breeding kink stuff, the aftercare cool down incorporates lbh's brand new abortion kink, which sqq mentally refers to as "luo binghe's takesies-backsies"