tiredandmaladaptivedaydreaming

[tiredandmaladaptivedaydreaming]

Home - percy weasley

old writing - trash honestly

...

The two sat in the small office in their apartment. Cordella sat reading a book on the rocking chair that sat in the corner, while Percy went through his papers on top of the desk. Sighing, he lifted up the newest letter from his mother. She looked up at Percy upon hearing him. Silently questioning what he was looking at.

"Another letter." He answered, picking up on her expression.

"What's it say?"

"I haven't opened it yet. I don't know if I want to."

"How come?"

"It's probably another letter telling me to go back." He paused, "I don't want to, I've made that clear."

"Why not?"

"You know why, Dell." She sighed at his short tone of voice, opting to go back to reading. This wasn't an argument she was looking forward to having yet again.

She watched as he opened the letter, she knew he would. He always does.

It was silent for a few moments while he read over the letter. He groaned, running a hand through his hair.

"When will she take the hint? I haven't replied to a single letter! She's making it harder for me." He picked up the letter and placed it in a box with the rest of his mother's letters.

"Percy, if it's so hard, then just reach out."

"I can't do that! Not now! I've been pushing them away, it would be foolish to write now."

"You don't always have to be so high and mighty, Percy. It's okay to miss your family."

She stood up and walked over to his desk, standing behind the chair he sat in. "I'm sure she'll be happy to hear from you, to know you're alright."

"Cordella. Stop. You make it just as hard to be distant from them. You left your family, why are you always harping on me about mine?"

"Because you love them, and miss them. And they clearly love and miss you too." Percy stood from the chair and walked to the small window.

"I do miss them. Honestly. I know I never really fit in, but I still loved them." He sighed before turning to face her once again. "I miss looking up to my big brothers. I miss the twins running around like lunatics. I miss playing chess with Ron and reading to Ginny. I miss my moms meals and my dads constant questions about rubber ducks, as annoying as they were." He looked down at his shoes, shaking his head.

"I can't go back though. It would be belittling. Embarrassing."

She shook her head, she was tired of this conversation. He acted like a coward. He was so desperate to be the best, so prideful, but he was only hurting himself and those he loved. She couldn't stand it.

"Percy, they're your family, they love you. It's not embarrassing to admit you made a mistake. Everyone does, and I'm sure with a little time, things could be like they used to."

He shook his head, "No. Everyone will always remember what I did. It's embarrassing, Cordella. I don't need to be the victim of their teasing anymore."

"They'll remember that you built up the courage to admit you were wrong. I think that would mean more than anything."

"You don't know them like I do."

"Percy, I've read your mom's letters. I've heard your stories. They care, wether you want to admit it or not. They do care about you."

"It doesn't matter. They'd be upset with me if I came home anyway, after everything."

"They'd come along, people take time to rebuild trust." He shook his head once again, and continued to complain. And she was sick and tired of it.

He look his family for granted, he was too proud of himself. Too proud to admit he made a mistake, and he was only making things worse by acting this way. And the problem was, he knew it.

"You're a coward Percy." He snapped his eyes up at her. She glared back at him.

"Excuse me?" His disbelief was evident in his tone. She's never spoke to him like that.

"You're a coward. I'd kill to have a family like yours! So what if you're different than them? They love you anyway! THEY LOVE YOU! They care about you! Of course they're gonna be upset, angry even, but they have the right! You abandoned them Percy!"

"You can't start on me when you did the same thing! You're such a hypocrite!"

"Percy, I didn't leave because I was different. I left because I was beaten." Silence followed. He stared into her eyes, searching for something.

"What?"

"I was beaten, Percy. Abused. If they couldn't get a hand on me, they used words. I left so I would survive. I didn't leave a loving and caring family that misses me, I left people that couldn't care less, and were, in fact, the reason I've had multiple deadly experiences. Some of which were at my own hands. Where do you think all these scars came from? They sure as hell didn't just appear one day!" She gestured toward her own arms.

He looked over them, then back to her eyes. The outburst was so unlike her. He had never seen her so angry before.

"Love, I-"

"Percy. You miss them, you love them. I'm sure they miss and love you too. I know you're scared, and you have every right to be, but at the very least, your mom has the right to know you're even alive. Especially with all that's going on these days." But he couldn't get over the scars. He remembered the ones he'd seen on her legs, all over her body really. He felt a fool for not realizing sooner.

"I didn't know. I, I can't believe I didn't know."

"I never told you."

"But it's so obvious! I've been an idiot! Cordella, please. I'm so sorry." He took another step toward her and grabbed her hands. He looked around, trying to find the correct words. "I had always thought you ran away with a similar situation to myself, but now it's clear," he trailed off for a moment, thinking about the much darker undertones in her story.

"Hell, I never even bothered to ask why you ran away, just assumed you were from a loving home like me. Damn it, I'm an arse. I've sat here feeling sorry for myself this entire relationship, doing nothing more than complaining about my family, while you, well you've been hurting from yours."

Percy knew she was right about them. He's known all along, but he'd been too damn proud to admit it. He missed his family and wanted desperately to go back, but he was embarrassed about what he did, what he said. He dropped his family for almost no reason at all. He never got along with them the best, but at least they cared about him.

Her words finally snapped him out of his stupor. He was taking his family for granted, he was taking her for granted, and he hated it. He wanted to be better, he wanted to do better. And if he had to own up to his mistakes to Cordella and his family, then so be it.

"Dell, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I've sat here, feeling bad for myself because I left my family. I left a family that did love me and care for me. I've sat here complaining that I miss them, being so completely insensitive to you. You've sat here listening to me complain while wanting nothing more than a family like I had. Like I threw away. I'm sorry."

She slowly reached up to wipe a tear that had fallen from his eye from the thoughts running rampant in his mind.

"Percy, please."

"I'm so sorry." He pulled her into his chest, burying his head into her shoulder. "Please, I'm so sorry. I've been so awful without even realizing it!" His voice muffled against her.

"Percy, please listen to me." He pulled his head from her shoulder to look back into her eyes. "You don't have to be sorry, not to me. You didn't know, and that's okay. And with your family, you were scared. You are scared. And that's okay. It's okay to be scared. Just promise me, you'll at least send your mom an owl that you're alive and well. And after that, if you want to cut off communication again, save for letters of the sort every few months, than so be it."

He shook his head. "I don't want to. I don't want to cut off communication again." She smiled lightly.

"Good. I'm happy for you, lovely. We can take it step by step." He nodded, pulling her closer to him.

The pair stayed like that for a few minutes before she pulled him over to the couch. She laid against the side, pulling him on top of her. He rested his head on her stomach, legs between her own, wrapping his arms around her waist. She softly ran her fingers through his hair, gently brushing through knots. After a few quiet moments, Percy lifted his head to look back at his girlfriend.

"Dell?"

"Yes?"

"I'm am scared."

"I know, it's okay to be scared. That's why we'll take it step by step. I'll be there for you through it all. I promise."

"Thank you. Thank you for helping me see through my own pride." She smiled lightly. "That's what I'm here for, my love."

———

"Dear mother, -"

"It's your mom, you don't have to be so formal."

Percy rolled his eyes and shook his head. "It's a letter, that's how you start a letter."

"To your mom?" She furrowed her eyebrows and frowned. "I mean I suppose that's just how you are."

He looked up and over his shoulder at Cordella. "What is that supposed to mean?" It was Percy's turn to furrow his brows at her.

"You're just formal. It's how you are, that's okay. Write what you're comfortable writing."

"You just said-" he sighed, "forget it."

She continued to watch as he wrote and scribbled things away, reading over his shoulder.

"You're making me nervous." She immediately stood up and pointed toward the couch on the other side of the room.

"I'll sit over here then."

"I mean, I do want you to read it, and make sure it's okay, but it's making me nervous? I don't know! This is new to me!"

"Then you relax, write the letter, and I'll read it over afterwards. I'll let you know what I think." "Okay."

And so for the next forty minutes, Cordella patiently sat on the couch and read her book while Percy wrote and rewrote his letter to his mother. Finally he called her over and she picked up the letter.

Dear Mom, Hello. I am writing to let you know I am well. There's been a lot going on and I feel you should know at least that much. I hope all is well back at home. I promise I won't ignore your letters anymore, and I apologize for doing so in the first place. I know you are all upset, and you have the right to be. Feel free to write about anything going on, and I'll be pleased to write back. Thank you, mom. For not giving up on me. I'm sorry for all I said and all I did. Sincerely, Percy.

"I mean, I think it's good! It hits all the points you want to say. It's formal, but I think it wouldn't be you if it wasn't formal." She laughed and he smiled slightly back at her.

"Did you want to see them?"

"What?"

"Or just write to your mom?"

"No, no. I'm sure they won't be pleased to see me. I wouldn't want to impose."

"You can always add a line to ask your mother if you could go visit at some point."

"I'm sure the first thing she'll say will be asking me to come home." She looked at his face, seemingly analyzing it. Looking for something, what, he couldn't place.

"Will you say yes?"

"I don't know." She nodded, and the conversation was left at that.

[tiredandmaladaptivedaydreaming]

people pleaser - george weasley

old - just reorganizing shit

...

Nova Dean and George Weasley were an exceptionally strange pair. Their parents were friends in school, and both raised families full of proud griffindors.

All the Weasley children got along well with the Dean's two kids. Rocky was a proud child, always jumping to lead the group on adventures and laughing when anyone told the boy to be careful. Nova, on the other hand, was a small girl who lived to people please. She jumped to help her brother or friends, and did everything her mother asked and more. When at the Weasley's home, you would find her in the kitchen with Molly more often then with the kids. She adored helping with Ron and Ginny and was always cleaning whatever mess the boys made. The adults had bets on the girl being a hufflepuff and becoming the only exception in the Dean's griffindor family tree.

Her best friends happened to be the twins. It was a strange relationship. Fred always convinced her to assist in pranks, only for her to end up cleaning the mess to lessen the amount of trouble they would get in. George always protected the girl, taking the blame for getting her involved and blocking her from any prank his brother may set up.

At the age of eleven, Nova and the Weasley twins joined their older siblings in school. Nova cheered as they boys were each sorted into griffindor, and waited patiently for her turn.

When her name was called her brother wished her luck as she walked toward the front. Bill, Charlie, and Rocky all placed chocolates in the center of the three boys while Percy rolled his eyes at their bet.

The twins watched intently as the hat was placed upon the girls head. George praying his brothers were wrong, if only so he could spend more time with the girl.

But as the hat opened his mouth, all bets were lost. Nova had tears in her eyes as she stared at her brother turning away from her. The twins looked between each other and their older brothers, mouths wide open. No one had expected this.

Nova walked into the dining hall, her green robes swirling behind her. It was her sixth year, and she had completely reinvented herself.

"Watch it." She hissed at the young ravenclaw boy who was unfortunate enough to bump into her.

She moved swiftly toward her boyfriend, taking her seat at the griffindor table. Fred looked away from her as George reached for her hand.

She began to take a sip from the cup in front of her as her boyfriend and his brother bickered over a roll. Before she could even get the cup to her lips, a seventh year came to stand right behind her, glaring daggers into her skull.

She turned to look at the older girl with an expectant look. The girl cleared her throat and looked toward the bench, exactly where Nova sat.

"Can I help you?" She asked the girl.

"That's my seat."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't see your name written here when I sat down." She let go of George's hand and stood up to look toward where she was just sat. "Oh, would you look at that! There is no name here. So if you would kindly walk away so I could eat my lunch in peace, that would be great."

"You're not meant to be here. At this table." Nova smiled at the girl, a sickly sweet grin.

"Does it look like I care?" Her tone clashing with the look on her face. "Because I don't." Finally, the girl huffed and walked to the other end of the table, near a few third years. She turned back toward Fred and George.

"You don't have to be so hard on her." Fred told her. "Really, you've changed a lot over the past few years. This new attitude doesn't do you any justice."

"But it's exactly what you all expect me to be, isn't it?" George sighed as Fred shook his head at her.

The girl's life was turned on it's head in the matter of seconds it took for the hat to scream her house name.

Her brother refused to look at her, her friends suddenly wanted less and less to do with her. And her housemates wanted nothing to do with a suck up bloodtraitor. Her mother even sent her an owl to tell her how disappointed she was, ending it by congratulating her brother on some assignment grade.

She spent almost every night of her first year crying in the twins arms, not understanding why this happened to her. She made sure she was the sweetest person she could be her entire life, yet now people laughed in her face as she held doors open.

George would shush her and rock her back and forth while Fred assured her that his siblings didn't hate her. Her brother still loved her, and so did they. But the twins were the only ones who acted like it.

She would spend her days listening intently to her professors and asking as many thoughtful questions as she could, yet they would only throw her a sympathetic half smile. Her housemates snickered at her and the rest of the students sighed as she raised her hand again. Try hard.

Her evenings were spent by sitting at her table, praying for dinner to go by as quick as possible while some boys teased her and threw peas in her hair.

She stayed for the holidays and dreaded going home for the summer, but the twins assured her it would be okay. But it wasn't really.

She groaned as Fred continued to pester her. Quickly she got up and left some half-assed excuse that she needed to get to potions. Though both boys knew she didn't need to be there for another forty minutes.

She walked toward the dungeon bathrooms. As always, completely empty.

She stood in front of the mirror, barely recognizing the girl in front of her. Her once black hair was littered with gray streaks. Her bright brown eyes looked almost black, with dark circles underneath. The permanent smile she once had turned into a permanent frown. A tear made it's way down her cheek. She scoffed and turned away from the mirror, quickly wiping her eye.

"You act as if you enjoyed living to please."

The following years were more or less the same. By her third year she started to develop a backbone. She payed less attention in class and asked less questions. Her grades showed the consequences, but she couldn't make herself care. She felt like she was just floating along, going through the motions with no real meaning. And she refused any pranks with the twins.

In her third year, she started dating George Weasley. Fred was happy for the two, it was a long time coming. Though the relationship was nothing more then two kids who adored each other occasionally going out for coffee.

Over the next few years, the girl began to further harden. She stopped coming to the boys at night, instead fighting her own battles. By her sixth year, most students at Hogwarts thought she was a bitch. And Nova no longer cared.

Her best friend was disappointed in her. He barely recognized her. Her boyfriend saw the same change, but instead, he was proud of her. She stood up for herself. She didn't let people walk all over her anymore. She allowed herself to have fun the way she wanted to have fun, and talked back to the kids who were rude to her.

But eventually, it wasn't only her standing up for herself. She picked fights, shoved younger students out of her way when she was late. Argued with George over meaningless things. He was worried about her. 

So that evening, he brought her up to the astronomy tower, where he knew they could have privacy. The first thing he did was hug Nova.

She was taken aback, but hugged him back just as tight. He smiled into her shoulder. She hadn't hugged him back like this in awhile.

Eventually he pulled away and brought her over to a wall. They both sat down and she leaned against him. While he thought of how to bring the topic up, she looked toward him.

"Georgie?"

"What's up, love?"

"I got a letter from my brother today." George sat up straighter, this was the first time the boy would have uttered a single word to her since she was placed into her house.

"What did it say?" He was eager to know, but had a feeling it wasn't so great from the look on her face.

"How disappointed he was when I was placed. How much of a terrible person I turned into. You know, the usual stuff I get anymore." She shrugged it off, but George hugged her anyway. He knew it was rough timing, but he didn't know when else to bring it up.

"You have changed."

"I know, Georgie."

"What happened?"

"I got sick of life as it was." George left it like that for the night. But he knew somewhere deep inside, she was the same scared and hurt little girl.

For the next few months, Fred pestered her about his disappointment in her change. George not once bothering to hold him back from his verbal assault.

She would sigh and roll her eyes, telling him she didn't care, but deep down, it still pained her. She missed her friends, and she missed her brother terribly, but she refused to return to the pushover attitude she once had.

Their sixth year went by rather quickly and the summer was no different. Toward the end of August, the Weasley's invited the Dean's over for dinner. Most all of the children would be home at the time, and it was the perfect opportunity for the adults to catch up.

Most of the Weasleys were shocked at Nova's new demeanor. Molly had asked her to help in the kitchen and she actually laughed. That was when Fred had enough.

He pulled her and George up to their room and slammed the door.

She calmly sat down on George's bed while he stood next to the door. Fred's face was red, and her glared at her. She returned the look with no issues.

"What is wrong with you? It's bad enough to be a bitch to other kids in school but to laugh at my mom? Do you have any respect left?" He continued to go on and on as George placed his head in his hands. She remained silent, listening to the boy as her lips turned to a frown.

"You've changed Nova Dean. And not for the better. I've stuck with you through this for years, but I don't know how much more I'm willing to associate with you."

"And so you'll be joining the others?" She hummed. Seemingly immune to the abandonment by now. Which angered Fred more.

"I don't even know how I stuck around this long. And I certainly don't know how George stays with you." And that sentence struck a nerve. Nova's face dropped, her cheeks flared red.

Before George could say anything, Nova was stood directly in front of Fred, glaring at the taller boy.

"You're right. I have changed. And I'm not mad about it, even if everyone else seems to be. I don't give a shit anymore, I spent too much of my life caring too much."

"What happened to the sweet girl we all knew and loved? How come she's turned into such a bitch?" He egged her on.

"I've spent my entire life pleasing others. I've lived for everyone except myself. Then I turned eleven and was placed in Slytherin. Suddenly, no matter what I did, no one was happy. I spent years trying desperately to please everyone, anyone, but that only made it worse. Other houses hated me for the color of my robes, and my house hated me because I was a suck up."

George went to interrupt the two, as Nova moved closer and closer to Fred. If looks could kill, he would be six feet under. And Nova began again.

"Then one night, I decided enough was enough. I would finally live for me, fuck everyone else. Yeah, Fred, I've changed. I'm my own person now, not what others tried to mold me into. And if you can't accept that, then by all means. Leave my life high and dry like everyone else did. And if it bothers George, I would expect him to do the same."

Fred looked at her in disbelief.

"Maybe that's why I was sorted into Slytherin, so I could get that push I needed to be myself, or maybe it's because my true self is a bitch. I don't really care anymore. I spent enough nights crying."

"I don't care either. But I'm done putting up with it." Fred turned away from the girl and walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

George turned the girl to face him, and was shocked to see her face covered in tears.

"Nova?" She broke down sobbing. Only managing to mumble a few words.

"You're all I have left, Georgie." And at that moment he knew.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I'm proud of you, for standing up for yourself." She fell into his arms and he held her tightly against his chest, rubbing her back and shushing her just as he did back in their first year.

She was still molding herself, just into what people expected rather then wanted.

But he would stick with her no matter who she became. She was Nova Dean, and George loved Nova Dean.

[tiredandmaladaptivedaydreaming]

Walls - Sirius Black Imagine

again old and ATL

....

It was two years after graduation when Sirius saw her. The four boys sat around a table at the Leaky Cauldron, drinking and laughing, having a small moment to forget about the seriousness of what they were facing.

But all the jokes couldn't pull his eyes away from the bartender. She was familiar, but he couldn't quite place from where. She was breathtaking, he couldn't imagine why he didn't remember her.

"Hey, guys. Look at the girl there." He pointed in her direction as she was wiping down the counters. "Where was she from?"

Remus shook his head while James laughed.

"You're kidding right?" James managed to spit out.

"No, what's so funny?"

"Go talk to her, figure it out yourself."

"Maybe I will." James busted out laughing again as Sirius started walking toward the bar.

"You're going to get him smacked, James." Remus rolled his eyes. "I feel bad, she was a sweet girl."

Sirius took a seat at the bar, and smiled brightly at the girl in front of him.

"So what brings a beautiful girl like you to work in a place like this?" She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Not now, Sirius."

"Oh no? Well if you know my name, you at least owe me yours."

"You're kidding." She frowned.

"No, I'm Sirius." He grinned, pleased at his own joke.

"Well I'm Astrid. I would have thought you'd remember, considering we 'dated' for two years." She frowned and turned away from him to start putting the glasses away. "Bar closes in twenty minutes."

Sirius's eyes widened. He faltered, trying to think of a response but ended in a loss.

"Well, uh, hey there. It's good to see you again." Now that he knew, he could definitely place her, but she had grown so much. She matured into such a beautiful young woman.

"Just, please go sit down with your friends. And tell Remus I said hi." He felt like as ass, he couldn't remember the first thing about their relationship. But he obliged by her request.

———

A few weeks later, Sirius went back to the leaky cauldron on his own. He sat at the bar, hoping to see Astrid again. And she was there, but wouldn't give him the time of day.

When he ordered a drink, she would pour it without a response, pass it, and leave to the opposite end of the bar.

A few hours of their game of cat and mouse later, she was beginning to put glasses away, and Sirius knew he was wasted. No one else was at the bar, and he saw his chance.

"You know, Astrid, it never felt right calling us 'just friends' in school." She rolled her eyes at his slurred words.

"And so you asked me out just to cheat on me over and over for two years, and then completely forget about me?" He winched.

"Are you happy now?" He hiccuped at the end.

"What kind of question is that? Sirius you're drunk, go home."

"Are you happy with yourself? Doing well? Do you like working here? I'm happy if you're happy." He smiled and rested his head in the counter, closing his eyes. She frowned and turned away to go put more glasses under the bar.

"Can you help me?" He spoke up a few minutes later.

"With what?"

"I drove here."

"Oh, I've heard this one before." She laughed. "You're too drunk and now you need something. Sounds a lot like our fifth and sixth years."

"Astrid. Please,"

"No. I have every right to be angry after what you put me through for two whole fucking years. And then you don't even have the deviancy to remember it. Or me. You're lucky I'm not an asshole like you are, or I'd leave you here to rot until the morning." She took the half empty glass of alcohol away from his hands. "You're cut off."

About ten minutes later, she was struggling to assist a swaying Sirius to her apartment down the street from the bar.

She quickly unlocked the door and threw him onto the couch.

"By me letting you stay here, you're agreeing to never speak to me again after this. And to be out first thing in the morning." He giggled at her stern tone as she pulled out blankets from the cabinet.

"I'm serious."

"No, I'm Sirius." He bused out laughing and she rolled her eyes once again.

"Goodnight." She went to turn off the light but Sirius stopped her.

"Wait!" He looked her up and down. Slowly since the night he first saw her again, more and more of their relationship, if you could even call it that, had been coming back to him.

She turned back to look at him. She raised a brow, asking him to continue.

"Are those the skinny jeans I bought for you?" Her eyebrows raised. She turned around and turned off the lights.

"I'm surprised you remember." She walked up the stairs, not waiting for his response.

As he laid on the couch, he found himself wanting to get to know her. And actually pay attention this time. He knows she said to never speak to her again, but what's the worst that can happen? She already hates him, so there's nothing left to lose, really.

———

The next morning, Sirius wakes up to someone shaking him. He opens his eyes to an unfamiliar room. His head is pounding and the lights are driving him nuts. He groans and covers his eyes with his arm.

"Get up, you have to leave." He opens his eyes again to see Astrid staring at him.

"You refused to tell me where you live. You're lucky I didn't leave you outside of the bar, because believe me, I was tempted."

"I'm so sorry, I uh, I don't really know what I was thinking." He remembered everything, the awkward questions, nonstop badgering, and even the walk to her apartment. "Let me get out of your hair." He stood up and started to fold the blanket she must have given him.

She watched him silently while he started toward the door. Before he could open it thought, she stopped him.

"Why did you suddenly decide to care?"

"What?"

"We were, well we were something for just over two years and you never once cared. Why are you paying so much attention now, even if you were drunk there had to have been a reason." Sirius was dumbfounded. He had no response. He shook his head and she scoffed.

"It doesn't matter anyway, just go home please."

"I'm really sorry, Astrid. Not just for last night, but for those two years too."

———

Slowly, over the next few weeks, Sirius began going to the Leaky Cauldron more and more. He saw Astrid often, and the more he saw her the more he began to remember about their relationship, if you could even call it that. And the more he remembered, the more he felt like shit.

He treated her like a ball and chain. He'd run and ask his friends to cover for him when she was looking for him. He cheated too many times to count, and he was always incredibly rude.

She was too kind, she only saw the good in him and it led to her getting hurt more times than he could count. She should have left running before he ever asked her out. He was young, dumb, and horny.

By seeing her so often, he was able to see her personality. Admittedly, he didn't know her too well through their relationship. She was amazingly kind and caring, even to those assholes that frequent the bar. She was patient and definitely had a way with words. He found himself with feelings for her, it was strange and unusual for him.

One night, when no one else was in the bar, he sat in front of Astrid. He was already wasted, and he couldn't help but gawk at her.

She really did grow into a beautiful young woman, and she was already pretty back in school.

Sirius kept drinking, and she was about a minute away from getting Remus to come pick him up. She would not be taking him home again.

"You know, in retrospect I wouldn't do it again. I know you shit talk me, and you have every right to after all I did to you. I really am sorry. I'm not the same guy, I guess you can say I've matured or something."

"Or something alright." She rolled her eyes but smiled none the less. "Thank you."

A few customers came in and out in the next hour or so. It was about fifteen minutes until closing and Sirius was still sat in front of Astrid. And he was wasted. She quickly scribbled a letter to Remus and sent the house owl off with it after telling him 'it's an emergency'.

"I'm going to let you in. I'm going to break down these walls." And he did. He went on for twenty five minutes before Remus showed up. He talked about his mom and the rest of his family, the coming war, his own mental illnesses, and seemingly countless other things. He told her every last thing he refused to tell her back in school.

"I'm sorry it took me so long." He said as Remus walked through the doors. "I'm sorry I never let you in, I'm sorry I treated you so horribly. None of that was any sort of excuse, but I wanted you to know."

"It's time to go, Sirius." Remus pulled on his shoulder, apologizing to Astrid.

"Wait. One more thing." She nodded her head, allowing him to go on.

"I'm gonna completely break down these walls. I have so many other things to tell you. I, well I want to fall in love with you. I've never felt this way about a girl, I've never felt the way I do about you now. And I know you built up walls too, and I know you hate me. But I hope you can let those walls break down like I did." She smiled slightly.

"Thank you again Sirius, but let's talk when you're sober." She smiled at Remus and thanked him as he took Sirius out of the bar.

[tiredandmaladaptivedaydreaming]

Remembering Sunday - Steve Harrington

old writing - another ATL song

....

"Hi."

The small sound interrupting the sound of the creeking swing and crickets. The sound of Alex Gaskarth's voice. She looked up to see a teenage boy about her age, then back out into the woods.

"Hey."

"I'm Steve." She nodded, not sparing him another glance as he sat on the swing beside her.

"And you are?"

"Uh, I'm," she paused, listening to Juliet's voice take over. "Sunday." Her lips lifted the tiniest amount at her own answer.

"Well, Sunday, do you always sit out here at two o'clock on Sunday mornings?" He smiled, laughing slightly to himself.

"Occasionally." The boy stayed quiet after that, following her eyes into the woods.

The two didn't speak much else for the next few hours, not until she said a simple "goodbye" and left down the road before the sun could rise.

——

Two days later, she sat on the same swing, looking into the same woods, when the boy returned.

"Sunday." She nodded a response, never looking toward him.

"What brings you out here tonight?" Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him looking at her, waiting for a response. She sighed and looked down to her hands in her lap. She fiddled with a few bracelets on her wrist before looking up at him.

"I could ask you the same, Steve." He smiled lazily and leaned into one of the chains of the swing.

"Nightmares. A little walk helps clear my head, you know?" She nodded.

"Yeah, me too."

"What kind?" She looked at him quizzically.

"What do you mean?"

"Monsters? Aliens? Murders? Spiders?" He kept shooting out options, waiting for her to agree to one.

"People." She finally interjected.

"Friends?"

"My dad." Steve left it at that. He assumed something must have happened to him, but he wasn't going to push.

"And you?"

"And me, what?"

"What nightmares?" He hesitated. He couldn't exactly explain his PTSD with the mind flayer and underground Russians.

"Uh, monsters. And friends." She nodded.

Neither of them spoke again, until she mumbled a simple "goodbye" and left down the road once the sun started to rise.

———

Five days and four midnight conversations later, each with a little more talking than the last, Steve found Sunday sitting on the same swing once again.

"Do you ever sleep?" She shrugged and closed her eyes.

"Do you?" She slowly opened them again, turning to face Steve on the swing next to her.

"I'm not out here every night, like it seems you are. You have to be tired?" She shrugged again, leaving him without a straight answer.

It went quiet for awhile. Both teens looking into the trees, watching them rustle with the wind and whatever animal may have moved through the branches.

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen. Graduated last year." Steve smiled from ear to ear.

"Me too! You're not from Hawkins, though, right? I feel like I would recognize you." She shook her head.

"No. I moved out here soon as I turned eighteen, right after I graduated. Moved in with my cousin and aunt." Steve wanted to ask why, actually he wanted to ask a million questions,  get to know everything he could about the girl next to him. But he didn't.

He could tell she wasn't a very talkative person, he's probably lucky she said that much on her own accord.

But hell, she was beautiful, and he really did want to get to know her.

"Maybe, one of these nights, or uh, mornings, we should get breakfast? I know this great place down the road." He asked, not really looking at her, but instead down the road, where the diner was located.

She hummed, but again, never gave a direct answer.

They didn't speak much for the rest of the night, save a simple question from Steve, and an even simpler answer from Sunday.

Once the sun began to rise, she wordlessly got up and began to walk down the street. Steve noticed it was the opposite way she normally left as he stared at her retreating form.

She turned around when she reached the gate to the small playground, only to find him still sitting on the swing, watching her.

"You coming?" She smiled and Steve's eyes lit up. He quickly rushed after her.

That morning, a Sunday morning, was the first time he had seen her without the cover of darkness.

He still thought she was absolutely beautiful, but seeing her the in the light felt like a gut punch. The girl was littered in fading scars and what looked like a broken nose that never healed properly. He was incredibly curious to what could have happened to her, but he refused to ask, afraid to scare her off.

She had two eggs, while he had pancakes. She didn't eat much of her food, and breakfast finished quickly. They payed for their meals, and Steve went to help her up.

"I have to go, before my aunt gets too worried. Thank you." She smiled. A real genuine smile. "This was really nice, I'll remember this." And with that, she left him mesmerized by her.

——-

Later that morning, Steve arrived late for work. Robin rolls her eyes as he walks in, immediately getting ready to yell at him, before seeing the bags under his eyes.

She forgets her original greeting, instead opting for worry for her friend.

"Steve? Have you slept at all recently? I thought you said the nightmares were getting better? You look awful!"

"Thanks Robin, means a lot!" He called back as he moved around to the back room to clock in.

"I'm serious Steve! You look like you haven't slept in a week! I thought it was getting better, I'm worried." He peeked back out from the back, seeing she was serious.

He walked back out toward Robin, and smiled the biggest smile he could muster.

"I'm fine, they have been getting better, I've just been busy at night."

"Uh huh, what with?" She gave him a look, telling him she didn't believe it for a second.

"Okay, okay, that was half true. They did get worse for awhile. I started going on walks to clear my head, when I passed by this little park in Dustin's neighborhood. There was a girl sitting on the swings so I went over to make sure she was okay, it was two in the morning." He smiled just thinking of her. "Oh she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen! I went back, almost every night for a week, just to see her. She's always there. Just past two in the morning, sitting in the swings looking out into the woods." Robin scoffed.

"Steve, you go for every girl you see."

"That is not true!" She gave him a look. "Okay, maybe a little, but this girls different! We went to breakfast this morning!"

"Oh congrats! You finally scored a date. What's that now? A billion to one?" Steve rolled his eyes, calling back out as he walked back into the back room.

"Whatever! Think what you want, but when I get a girlfriend before you, don't complain to me about being lonely!"

——

Except Steve didn't see her that night. Or the night after that. In fact, he didn't see Sunday again that entire week. He went to the same park every single morning at two. He would wait for hours, but she would never come.

After he hit the seven day mark without seeing the girl, he went into work sulking.

"Is that now a billion and one to zero?"

"Shut up." Hearing the hurt in his voice, Robin called quits on the jokes.

"What happened?"

"She stopped coming."

"Maybe her nightmares stopped." After hearing about this mystery girl for a week, Robin knew everything Steve knew, albeit not much.

Steve shrugged, clocking in and walking back out to the register.

"I wish I knew her last name. Find her aunt or cousin and ask about her. Are you sure you've never seen someone like her? Long wavy black hair. Skinny, lots of bracelets. She's short too, uh, really pretty. She's got freckles and I think her eyes are blue. Maybe gray."

"No, I've told you already, I've never seen anyone with her description. I'm sorry." She shook her head as Steve seemed to deflate at her words. "You know, maybe one of the kids have seen her? The park is in Dustin's neighborhood after all."

Maybe.

——

Steve spent the next few days asking everyone he could about the girl, Sunday.

No one knew a Sunday, some were vaguely familiar with her description, but no one could give him enough to find her.

Until two o'clock on Tuesday morning, Dustin showed up at the swings next to Steve. The boy was soaked, as was Steve, from the pouring rain that had been going on for the past few hours.

"What are you doing here Steve?"

"Do you know a girl named Sunday?"

"What? No." He shook his head, furrowing his brows at Steve. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for someone. What about you? It's cold and wet, you're going to catch a cold, Dustin."

"My, uh, my cousin used to come here when she couldn't sleep, so I'm trying the same." His head snapped up to Dustin.

"Sunday?" His eyes filled with hope, waiting for Dustin's response.

"What? No. Her name was Sammy. Steve what are you talking about?" He looked up after hearing Dustin sniff. Just now realizing the tears on the boys face, as they had been hidden by the rain.

He decided he could ask more questions later, for now he would bring Dustin back home.

———

A few days later, rain pouring down once again, Steve was behind the counter with Robin. Dustin came in holding a folded up piece of paper with something he couldn't quite make out written on the front.

"Hey Dustin! Can we help you find anything?" The kids came to the shop often, looking for new movies to rent. Robin called him over, assuming he was there to pick one up for the group.

"Hi, Robin. I'm, actually I'm here to talk to Steve?" He looked over to him as he said his name. Steve nodded and followed him toward the other end of the store.

"Did you know Sammy?" He spoke immediately, no time for formalities.

"I knew a girl who went to the park at night, but she told me her name was Sunday."

"Sammy tended to be really cautious, she probably told you a fake name, although Sunday is a weird pick. She uh, she was pale, black hair, short, skinny." He trailed off his description, looking back up at Steve.

"Yeah, that sounds like her. Where's she been?" Dustin looked down, a frown forming.

"I didn't know she knew a Steve, but we found this in her room. We didn't know who it was written to, so I read a little bit of it, but I remembered you saying you met her in the park. I just wanted to make sure before I gave it to you." He looked down to the paper he was holding, seeing his name written across the front.

"She wrote me a letter? Should you be giving it to me? I wouldn't want her to get upset." Dustin sighed.

"Steve. She's gone. She wrote it to you knowing she would be." He looked back down at the paper in his hands. "Here, take it. It was for you."

"What do you mean? Dustin what do you mean." Small tears started forming in the younger boys eyes.

"She killed herself. She couldn't deal with the trauma her dad left her, she kept getting worse, and," he paused, letting out a quiet sob, "we tried to help her, we did as much as we could, but it wasn't enough!" Dustin shoved the paper in Steve's hands and covered his mouth. He let out another sob, this time louder than the last as tears started to form in his eyes.

Steve, still in shock, pulled the boy into his arms, wrapping him in a hug. His brain was running a mile a minute, trying to catch up and make sense of what he'd just been told.

Soon, Dustin pushed away from Steve. He wiped his eyes and made a quick excuse to leave, rushing out of the store. Steve attempted to call him back, but Dustin wouldn't even spare him a glance.

Slowly, Steve walked back up to the front, letter in hand.

"What happened with Dustin? He looked like he was crying when he left. Is he okay?" Steve looked up at Robin, only for her to notice the sad look in his own eyes.

"Steve, what happened?"

"I'm gonna go sit in the back for a minute. Can you take over for just a little bit longer?" She nodded.

"Sure, but are you okay?" He nodded as he walked into the back room, closing the door behind him.

He sat down, brain still running wild, without having opened the letter yet.

Flashes of his conversation with Dustin and little things she had let him in on.

The scars around her face, her nightmares about her dad, the trauma Dustin said she had. She never was okay.

He opened the letter, slowly beginning to read it over.

Steve,   Honestly, I'm not sure why I'm writing to you. I didn't know you all too well. But you were always kind, you didn't push me. It was nice sitting with you for a few hours every night.   I always went there to be alone, but I didn't mind your company. To be honest, I only stayed once you came over because I recognized you as the guy Dustin talks about all the time. It's really sweet what you do for him, he looks up to you a lot. I hope you can be there for him now as well. But besides that, you kept my attention, and I didn't mind when you kept coming back. Having someone else there that didn't know what happened helped me forget for just awhile. It didn't feel like you were walking on eggshells around me, it was nice.   That day we went for breakfast was my favorite. Actually, that was this morning. At the time of writing this at least, but I'm not sure when you'll read it. I'm sorry you had to see all the scars he left, but I'm glad you never looked at me differently. So thanks for that.   And again, I know we didn't know each other very well, so there's not much else for me to say. But if you're reading this, I'm gone. I've done something so terrible. I'm terrified to really say what I did, but I assume you could imagine.   I'll be blunt to end this. I don't really know what to say, but thank you. I hope the rain can wash me from your mind, if you even cared in the first place. I'll be keeping an eye on Hawkins, my cousin, and you from the clouds, towering over your heads.    Love, Sammy "Sunday" Henderson

Steve didn't realize he was crying until Robin came in to check on him.

"Steve are you okay?" She gently placed a hand on his shoulder, but he ignored her. Instead looking up at the clock, seeing his shift was just about over.

He walked over to clock out, and only turned to Robin to utter a few words.

"I guess I'll go home now." Quickly after, he left the store.

[tiredandmaladaptivedaydreaming]

A Daydream Away - Eddie Munson Imagine

old writing again - this ones based on that one ATL song

.....

Eddie looked around the room at the papers strewn about the girl's kitchen floor as she leaned back against the oven door, attempting to catch her breath while still laughing.

"Stop it! We have to focus, Eddie!" She yelled through her laughing, eyes bright.

"Fine! Fine! I'll do my work, you win!" He smiled at her, wide and teeth shining bright. "What's the day? We need it at the top of the poster."

"Today? Tuesday afternoon."

"No, no the day!"

"The day is Tuesday! Do you mean the date? It's the seventh." She slowly started to giggle.

"Oh." And that one simple word made the pair bust out laughing once again. Sure, it wasn't that funny, he'd admit it. But her laugh was heaven and he'd do anything to hear it more and more. Even tell a million corny jokes or a make a million tiny mistakes.

"Seriously! This is due tomorrow!" She spoke through her laughs.

"Okay, okay, what do we need for it?" But the necessities for the project were the furthest thing from Eddie's mind. He was focused on her grin as she started writing down everything they needed to collect.

He couldn't help but stare. Honestly he didn't care when they got to do the project, he just wanted to be there, with her. He could spend the rest of his life right here, sitting in her kitchen floor, if it meant he was with her.

He knew whatever happened today wouldn't matter tomorrow. Soon as this project was over, she would go back to her stuck up friends. The ones that hated him, called him a freak.

"I promise you, if we finish this on time I will buy you ice cream. But we have to focus!"

"Yeah, okay, whatever you say, love. But I'll do it just for you." He gave an over exaggerated wink. She laughed again, reaching over to push his shoulder.

He smiled brightly at her, but couldn't help the nagging feeling that it would be a bad idea. If her friends found out, he would be gutted. He's lucky Jason wasn't babysitting them during the assigned project.

He threw a fit in class when Eddie was originally paired with his girlfriend, Chrissy, after all. So instead, he was partnered with the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Who happened to be good friends with Chrissy, and therefore Jason as well.

——

"Look at that one." Eddie pointed to a guy following around a girl, repeatedly asking for her number until she turned around and slapped him. She busted out laughing at the scene. Eddie smiled too, but his eyes were trained on the girl next to him.

They had been sitting on the bench outside the ice cream parlor for nearly three hours, talking and people watching. Laughing at the crazy guys and the stuck up girls. She took a minute to catch her breath before looking down at her watch and sighing.

"It's starting to get late and unfortunately tomorrow is Monday. I've got to get home before my mom has a heart attack. Thanks for coming with me!"

"Of course! You know, I didn't think you'd talk to me again after that stupid project was done." Eddie laughed, playing it off like he didn't care one way or the other. When in reality, he was over the moon she invited him out this weekend.

"I promised you ice cream if we got it done on time. I don't back out on my word. Plus you're really cool! And funny, I think we'd be great friends." She smiled again before standing from the bench. "But I really do have to get going now."

"Here, let me drive you home. We don't need anything happening to you, now do we?"

The ride was filled with smiles and laughs, it seemed to only last a minute before they were pulling into her driveway. She looked around, her brows furrowed.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "it's just my mom told me she wasn't working nights anymore. But she's not home. And my brothers car isn't here, so I can only assume he's with his girlfriend for the night." She frowned and started unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Let me guess, you don't like being here alone, do you?"

"Not at night, no. Do you, maybe want to come in for just a few minutes. You can judge me all you want, but I get paranoid coming home to an empty house." She looked away from Eddie, avoiding his eyes.

"Of course."

Together the two got out of the car and walked up to the front porch of her house. She unlocked the door and led Eddie up to her room. She began looking through her closet, before stopping and turning to him.

"I hope you don't feel like you need to stay. You're welcome to leave whenever you want, or stay if you'd prefer. I don't mind." Eddie grinned like a fool, plopping down onto her bed.

"I can spare an hour or so." He tried to keep his voice level, not wanting to let her in on the excitement he felt.

"Great! I'm just gonna shower real quick, and then we can grab something to drink from downstairs. With everyone out for the night, everything's available." She winked and grabbed her towel. "Be just a few minutes!" And ran out into the hall.

Eddie looked around her room, the pictures of family and friends spread around the walls, a few horror movie posters, and a bunch of house plants. He thought it to be an interesting collection.

It didn't take long for her to come back out, or for them to ransack the drinks downstairs. Or for Eddie to get a little too tipsy to drive home safely.

So she grabbed a pair of her brothers sweats and set Eddie up in her bed, with a pillow and blanket on the floor for herself.

"No. Not happening."

"Come on Eddie, it's fine. You're the guest, you take the bed. Besides, my carpet is really comfy, I've fallen asleep down here so many times!"

"Well not tonight. You better get up and switch with me or I'm fully prepared to carry you up here."

"You wouldn't." She squinted her eyes, sinking further into the makeshift bed.

"Try me." He stood up slowly, making his way toward the girl. He lifted her up as she squealed and grabbed hold of his shoulders.

He set her down softly on the bed. She huffed as he went to go sit down on the ground next to her.

"This is not how you should be sleeping, you're the guest." Eddie rolled his eyes and reached for the lamp.

"Goodnight, love." The light went out. There was a bit of shuffling heard and then silence.

"Goodnight, Eddie."

——

It's been quite a few months since the stupid history project, and Eddie still hates that class. But, he's couldn't have been happier that it brought him his best friend. She's incredibly kind and adorable, he's crushed on her for months, how could he not? But he always kept her at an arms length, too afraid of getting hurt.

But that arms length didn't help when he was walking past the ice cream parlor and saw her arm linked with Steve Harrington's. Both holding ice cream, walking down the sidewalk with huge smiles on their faces.

His heart almost broke right then and there, but they never would have stood a chance anyway. Not with her best friends being Chrissy and Jason. 

The two started walking his way and he almost turned around and walked into the bar across the street. His drink would need a bit of salt and a bit of lime.

But he should have seen this coming, because she's just a daydream away. And he wouldn't even know what to say if he had her. But he didn't. And it hit him like a truck.

"Eddie! Hi!" She pulled him out of his trance and pulled Steve over by his hand. She gave him a quick hug, and then gestured to the boy next to her. "This is Steve! My boyfriend."

And so he'll keep her a daydream away, and watch from a safe place so he never has to lose her.

It's not like he had much of a choice anyway.

[tiredandmaladaptivedaydreaming]

boy troubles? - Rocky DeSantos sister

organizing old writing - be warned

....

"Oh just shut up, will you? I'm sick of listening to you go on and on!" Rocky yelled from the room next door.

"I'm on the phone you dimwit!" Sammy yelled back.

He started to yell something back at her before her mom interrupted the two.

"Rocky! Adam's here! And would you two quit yelling at each other!" She heard some banging in his room before Rocky rushed down the stairs. She rushed to peek her head out and yell one last time.

"Red is totally not your color!" Rocky scoffed and slammed the door behind him and Adam. She rolled her eyes and sat back on her bed, finally getting back to her phone call.

Rocky's mother left when he was young, and Sammy's dad died only a year after she was born. It took both remaining parents until their respective kids were sixteen to begin dating again. Neither child enjoyed their parents dating, and both hated when their parents got with each other. They hated it even more when their parents got engaged.

The only thing they hated more then the engagement was each other.

She picked up the phone once again and mumbled something about her soon to be step brother.

"You and Rocky fighting again?"

"He's insufferable, Dylan! Always making fun of me and complaining about every single thing I do. I can't stand him."

"Well, in only two weeks you won't have to worry about him for an entire week."

"Oh god, I can't tell you how excited I am to come see you! I miss you so much."

"Yeah, I miss you too."

"Are you alright? You seen off tonight."

"I'm fine, Sammy. Just had a long day. I think I'm gonna try and get some sleep." Sammy frowned.

"Okay, I hope you have a good night, sweetheart. I love you."

"Love you too." Sammy frowned as she heard the call drop.

"Problems with lover boy?"

"What are you doing here! Get out of my room, Rocky!" He rolled his eyes as she tried to push him out the door.

"Would love to, but your mommy dearest won't let me go out to dinner unless you come with." She scoffed.

"Yeah right."

"Well believe it, and I've had this dinner planned for weeks so get your behind off the bed and let's get going."

"Absolutely not. Why should I do anything nice for you?"

"Oh quit being a brat and just come with! Your mom is going to do the same thing with you next time you go out and I'd hate to tell you I won't go. Maybe your mom will even prevent you from seeing your friend back where you came from." She rolled her eyes once again.

"You'd love that. And you probably wouldn't go even if I went tonight. And she agreed to that months ago, she wouldn't."

"You're probably right, but still, come with. Or maybe I'll just tell your mom about your little boyfriend." Her eyes narrowed.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

Before she could say anything, Adam spoke up. This was the first time the boy had spoken to her.

"I'm not sure what the issue between you two is, but I would also really appreciate it if you could come with us to dinner. We have some stuff we have to go over with our friends about an upcoming project and it's worth a serious part of our grade. I understand you guys don't get along, but if you could do it for the other five of us?" She sighed.

Sammy really didn't want to spend the night with her annoying soon to be stepbrother and his friends, but she also didn't want to be the reason the whole group failed. And maybe she could find something to use against Rocky next time he brought Dylan up. She doesn't even know how he found out about their relationship, but she knew her mom could not know.

"Well, I suppose since Adam asked so nicely, I'll do it for him and your other friends." Adam smiled gently. "Now get your asses out of my room and let me change."

"Be quick, you better not make us late, Sammy."

"You're lucky I'm going DeSantos."

About a half hour later, the three finally showed up at the youth center. Sammy rolled her eyes and made some comment about having dinner at youth center but followed the boys inside anyway.

They led her to a table with four other people sitting there.

"Sorry for the intrusion, but this is Sammy, she had to come with in order for me to come. Our parents want us to get along better or something." She rolled her eyes and began to look for somewhere else to sit.

"Hi Sammy! I'm Kimberly! This is Tommy, Billy, Aisha, and I assume you already know Adam. It's great to have another person join us!" Kimberly was pretty, but definitely chipper, maybe a bit too chipper for Sammy's taste.

"Hey, it's nice to meet you all but I don't want to intrude. I'll go find somewhere else to sit and let you guys have your dinner."

"No, you can sit with us, don't worry about that!" The girl who Kimberly introduced as Aisha said. "We would love the extra company." Sammy looked over the group, eyes lingering on Aisha for an extra millisecond. Her eyes then moved to Adam who had already brought her over a chair next to his, and then to Rocky who was shaking his head at her. Sammy smirked.

"Thank you so much for the invitation. I'd love to join you guys." She sat down in the chair, giving a small smile to Adam for the seat, and a large smile at Rocky, much to his dismay.

Sammy spoke with the group for awhile, each member was extremely kind to her and welcomed her with open arms. She would have never expected this from any of Rocky's friends, but she was very grateful. She even got Aisha's number to chat every once in awhile.

As dinner was wrapping up, she heard a number of watches go off. She looked around in confusion as each person surrounding her began to get up and rush off, Adam and Aisha apologizing and promising to be right back.

She sat back at the now empty table, very confused. She waited for over an hour before deciding to just walk home.

Only to get home and find Rocky and Adam upstairs in his room, playing some dumb video game. She scoffed and walked into his doorway.

"Am I really that bad to be around? Next time tell your friends not to give me the time of day. I don't need their pity. That includes you, Adam." She walked out of his room, toward her own.

"Good, they're my friends anyway. Not yours."

She sat on her bed, drawing in her notebook for awhile. She couldn't deny that them all leaving her there like that hurt. A lot. With Dylan, the only person she had, distancing from her, their kindness actually meant a lot to her.

She began to get ready for bed, as it was late and there was school tomorrow. Just as she was about to turn off her light and close her door, Adam popped his head in.

"What do you want?" She gave him an expectant look. Adam stayed silent. She shook her head and turned to close her door. "To think I actually thought you guys were being nice to me. Why would Rocky's friends be nice to me, the stepsister he hates." She laughed, but Adam could hear the pain hidden in her voice.

"I'm sorry. We told everyone else that we would go back to you and they could head home. Then Rocky left to go home too. I tried to get Rocky to go back so we could walk you home but he was insistent about some curfew he had that you didn't. I thought he was serious, seeing as your parents don't parent the both of you the same way."

"It's whatever Adam, I'm used to it."

"Used to it?"

"I didn't exactly have any friends back home. That's why my mom moved us up here with Rocky and his dad. I had nothing to lose and she could land a better job here anyway."

"I'm sorry, Sammy. You're always welcome to hang out with us."

"Sorry, Adam, but I'd rather not. I hope you understand." He frowned, but bid her a goodnight and left her alone.

She finally shut her door and light off, and headed to bed. It was a peaceful sleep until she heard Rocky's damn watch blaring once again.

She looked at her clock, only to see it was four in the morning. She heard shuffling from his room, and his watch still going off.

Sammy banged her hand against the wall and yelled, "Shut it off!"

The watch shut off but she heard his window open and what sounded like struggling. She crawled out of bed and walked over to her window only to see Rocky climbing out of his and then running off. Oh he was so dead.

———

About a week later, she was laid back on her bed, on the phone with Dylan. Calls had gotten less frequent and Sammy knew something was wrong. But she couldn't get Dylan to admit anything. She hoped she was just paranoid.

She heard Rocky and two other sets of footsteps running up the stairs and toward his room as she was saying her goodbyes to Dyaln.

"Have a good day, I love you." As the phone hung up she looked toward her door, seeing Rocky standing there with Aisha and Adam behind him.

"Oooo so cute! Can't wait for your mom to find out! I feel like she'd feel pretty betrayed knowing your best friend is a little bit more then that, and you wouldn't tell her." Aisha looked at Rocky, eyes wide, as Adam shook his head.

"Rocky!" Aisha went to interrupt, but Adam stoped her.

"Rocky DeSantos, you tell my mother about Dylan, I tell your father about you sneaking out last week. Out the window at four in the morning? How much dumber can you get?"

"How did you even-"

"Or what if I tell him about you and your friends all leaving me at the youth center to walk home alone at eight p.m.? I'm sure he'll be thrilled!"

"Oh come on, it's not like you wanted to spend the night with us anyway." Aisha once again looked shocked.

"Rocky, you said you and Adam were going back to get her? Why would you lie about that? Any of us could have went back."

Rocky grumbled something back at Aisha and ushered them both back to his room. She spent the day drawing and listening to the three talk through the wall.

She couldn't really make any words out, just muffled voices.

Eventually, the phone rang and her mother called up the stairs that it was for her. She quickly ran past Rocky's room and down the stairs to get the phone.

"Hey!" She called into the phone, knowing only Dylan would call her. "You called first this time!"

"Yeah, Sammy we need to talk."

"Oh. What's wrong? Well wait let me get upstairs real quick." She ran back up the stairs with the phone passing Rocky saying goodbye to his friends as they headed toward the stairs.

"Hey, Sammy! Adam told me he had apologized for Rocky and himself already but I also wanted to apologize. We really didn't know he just left you like that." Sammy looked back at Aisha. She really was a beautiful girl.

"It's no issue Aisha, I'll see you guys again soon!" She rushed into her room and closed the door all but an inch, knowing Rocky's dad's rule.

"Okay, I'm in my room. What's up, Dyl?"

"We need it break up."

"What?" She knew it wouldn't be anything good, with the way Dylan's been acting these past weeks, but she didn't expect that. "Isn't there something we can work on? Let's not jump to this."

"I'm sorry, Sammy. It's just, I can't do distance. It sucks and I, personally, can't do it. Plus it seems like you've made some friends and I can't keep the pressure of being the only person you have."

"What do you mean pressure? Is that the only reason you've stayed with me this long?" The line went quiet.

"Dylan? Are you serious?"

"I just can't do the distance, Sammy. Let's not put any words in my mouth." She heard a muffled voice coming from Dylan's end.

"You're breaking up with me and you can't even be honest? Who's with you? Is there someone else? Distance can't be the only thing. You cried when I left, you promised me we could make this work."

"Sammy, I'm sorry. I can't do it. That's it. We're done." And before she could say anything more, the call ended.

She sat up straight, staring at the phone in her hands while tears started to make their way down her cheeks.

She thought over Dylan's words again before letting out a loud sob. Multiple more followed as she threw the phone down on the bed and put her head between her legs.

She wrapped her arms around her legs and continued to cry, mumbling to herself.

"Pity, pity. No one actually likes you. Everyone sees you as some stupid pity project, damn it!" She sobbed even harder.

Her bedroom door creaked open slowly. She looked up only to find Rocky staring at her. She quickly wiped her face and tried to stop the tears.

"What?" She snapped at him.

"Are you okay?"

"Does it look like I'm okay? Why do you even care? Go back to your stupid video games and leave me alone."

But instead, Rocky slowly stepped closed to her bed and sat on the end. He moved the phone to her night stand.

"What happened?" She didn't know why she chose to confide in him, or why he even offered, but she did.

"Dylan broke up with me. Over the phone. Because apparently the distance is too much. She alluded to there being a lot more then that, but wouldn't tell me anything. And then just hung up on me." She could barely get the full story out between her sobs, her voice again muffled between her legs.

"I'm sorry." He placed a hand on her back.

"Oh don't give me your crap." She lifted her head up to look at him. "Just leave me alone. I don't want your pity."

"I really am sorry, Sammy. I know how hard break ups can be. I want to help." She had her doubts, but she really needed someone and she couldn't go to her mom.

So in a splits second decision, she decided to throw her arms around Rocky.

He was shocked and immediately stiffened up. But slowly he moved his arms around her and rubbed her back as she continued to sob.

They spent the better part of two hours sitting on her bed talking and playing some stupid card game.

After awhile, Sammy started to feel a bit better. And she was incredibly grateful for Rocky's help. No matter what it was born of.

"Hey! Maybe I can help you find someone here in Angel Grove. You can forget about Dylan, show him what he's missing." She rolled her eyes at him.

"I'm serious. I know someone who's head over heels for you. Adam literally can not take his eyes off you. And maybe that's why I was so rude in the beginning. I was jealous because my best friend was more interested in you then me. I also didn't like that my dad found someone else, but I wouldn't have taken that out on you." She frowned.

"Are you serious?"

"Very. I'm sorry about how I acted. But you retaliated, fought back and so I figured you could handle yourself. Maybe we can restart, get along better?"

"Thank you, Rocky. I would like to get along better too. And I should apologize as well. I was really defensive when our parents started dating because, well, I've never had anyone outside of my mom and Dylan. And I guess I was just kind of afraid, you know? She would put more focus on your dad and maybe even you, and I'd be placed on the back burner. But please don't set me up with anyone."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt that way. Your mom cares about you a lot, I can tell. She would never place you on the back burner. If anything, it would be me and my dad back there. Damn we should have had this talk sooner."

"Thank you, Rocky. It really means a lot."

"Of course. But come on! Adam's been dying for a date with you." She shook her head and smiled lightly.

"If I tell you this, you have to swear not to tell anyone. I'm serious." She had a new trust in the boy.

"I promise. I won't even use it as blackmail." She rolled her eyes. But she believed him.

"Dylan is a girl."

"Oh. Oh! So you have been eying Aisha! I could have sworn I was imagining it!"

"Rocky!"

[tiredandmaladaptivedaydreaming]

dance with me? - Adam Park Imagine

reorganizing my crazy old writing - read if you dare

...

"So Kim, you and Tommy are going to the dance together tonight?" Kim nodded at Aisha, both girls smiling. Billy was going with a really kind girl, Aisha was looking to go with an old friend who was visiting, and Rocky has had his eye on a specific girl for a while now. 

"Adam? Colyn? What about you guys? Are you guys going to ask a special someone?" 

"Um, well I'm still debating on whether or not I should try and ask him. I mean if I don't I'll be spared the embarrassment when he says no." I told Kim and Aisha, laughing towards the end. 

"You should just ask! I mean what's the harm in a simple question?" Kim told me, with Aisha interjecting.

 "Who is it anyway?" 

"I think you missed the whole embarrassment part of that sentence Kim. Also, I'm probably not going to ask him." I stated, ignoring Aisha's question.

"Okay, but still, what about you Adam? 

"Kind of, yeah, maybe." And a nanosecond later he changed his answer, for the fourth time. "No." And once again, "Well yeah, but she wouldn't like me back. I don't think I'm even gonna go. You all have dates, and I don't really want to be standing in a corner alone. Unless Lynn decides to go, but social gatherings aren't really her thing." 

"Ask her! Both of you! Ask them!" Kim interjected, mentioning between me and Adam like a crazy lady.

"She's got a point guys, I mean honestly. What's the harm in just asking, 'Hey wanna go to the dance tonight?'" Rocky spoke up for the first time.

"Embarrassment. That's what." He laughed at my face of horror. 

"Colyn?, I know you don't want to ask him. So if you don't, are you still going to the dance?" Billy asked me, speaking for the first time in this whole conversation. 

"I don't know, maybe. As Adam said, I don't wanna be standing in the corner alone while you guys are all off having fun with your dates."

"So you two should go, you can hang out together whenever someone else isn't around. You guys are best friends, go as that." 

Adam smiled a bit, "Yeah, I'll go in that case. Lynn, what do you think?"

"Yeah, I won't be as socially awkward if I got a friend by my side." 

"Yes! This is gonna be awesome! Both of you are coming!" Both of us nodded at Rocky. 

There was silence for a moment before Billy broke it. "Sorry guys but I have to head over and help Ernie set up. I'll see you guys later." There were a few goodbyes and waves as he left the table and walked up to the counter. 

"I've got to go too, I'm meeting up with my friend before the dance. Bye!" There were some more goodbyes and waves as Aisha left. Aisha seemed to give Kimberly and Rocky a look from the door, then walked out.

"We should head out too, right Tommy?" 

"What? Oh um, yeah." He seemed confused as Kim pulled him away. 

"Hey, you two, I'm going to go find Diana and ask her about the dance before it's too late. See you soon!" We said goodbye, and Rocky winked at us. What a strange guy.

A few minutes passed before I or Adam said anything to each other. 

"Lynn?" I hummed for Adam to continue. "I was just, uh, wondering, if you- you don't have to tell me, but who were you, going to ask?" 

"No one important. Don't worry about it, really." He frowned.

"Well I should probably get going, sorry."

"Yeah, okay. See you soon, Adam."

"Bye Colyn." 

---------------------------

Seven, It's seven. I'm supposed to meet Adam and Rocky to walk to the dance at seven. I'm late. I let myself panic for a bit longer before heading off to meet the boys. 

After a few minutes of walking I made it to meet up with them. Rocky's date, Diana, was there too. 

"Hey Colyn! You're late." Rocky gave me that joking strict parent look, and I smiled back. "Well, it's great to see you didn't bale on Adam!" I made a face at him, I was meeting him too. Rocky moved closer and whispered something to me. 

"It's not like you hide it that well, Adam's just oblivious." He laughed, but continued speaking, "Don't worry, I won't tell him. Promise. But you should, and before you say anything, there is no chance for embarrassment. Considering it's not any harder to tell he likes you back!" Rocky laughed again and wiggled his eyebrows. I gave him a face of horror, causing him to laugh even harder.

"Yeah, I'd believe that when pigs can fly." 

"Ha ha, very funny Colyn. Well, I mean it's not impossible with Rita up there. But seriously, you two would be super cute! Promise me you'll try to have a good time, even with all the people around. And talk to him." 

"Yeah, maybe." 

"You should, but come on, meet my date! She's super awesome!" I smiled and followed him over to the girl he walked over to. He introduced me to her, though she seemed a little bitchy. I wouldn't say anything though. After that we were left in silence as Rocky and Diana sped ahead of us. 

It was a few moments before me or Adam spoke up.

"So, how are you? Sorry for before, I was just upset over something stupid." He smiled at me, but I frowned.

"It's fine, don't worry about it. Are you feeling any better now?" He smiled and nodded. I smiled back at him. I mean it's hard not to smile when looking at those eyes!

"Lynn! You okay?"

"Huh? What? Oh yeah! I'm fine! I'm good!" 

"You sure? You dazed out and almost ran into a street sign. You know you didn't have to go to this dance. I hope you didn't feel forced because of me."  He smiled lightly and furrowed his brows.

"No! No, I didn't feel forced at all!" 

"Good, that makes me feel better."

It was quiet after that until we got to the dance. 

----------------------------------------

"Come on, let's go inside. I promise I won't leave your side." 

"Thanks Adam." I smiled up at him and he smiled back. 

We met up with everyone quickly before Tommy and Kim left to dance. Rocky was chasing Diana around, Billy's date was a sweetheart, they sat at the counter talking about computers, and Aisha's friend was definitely a flirt. They all left to dance, so me and Adam sat down to talk. 

------------------------------

It was about an hour into the dance before a slow song came on. Me and Adam have been talking the whole time, no one else really came over to talk to us.

"Hey,  Adam!" Mood? Dropped.

"Hey Jane! How are you?" He was happy. She seemed nice. I think she was the girl. Screw what Rocky said, it's not worth the embarrassment.

"Do you want to dance, Adam?" Adam quickly looked back at me, I forced a smile and nod.

"Sure." They walked away into the middle of the crowd of people dancing. I wanted to leave immediately, I decided to say a bit longer. 

-----------------------------

After about thirty minutes of me sitting alone and waiting, I was about to get up and leave. But Tommy and Kim came over.

"Hey Colyn! Where's Adam? Why are you all on your own?"

"He disappeared with a girl, like half an hour ago." Tommy and Kim both looked surprised. Kim left to go find Adam while Tommy stayed with me. He kept asking me questions about what happened and how I felt. Maybe he knew as much as Rocky did, maybe I was that obvious.

"Really, it's fine. He should be able to have fun too! He shouldn't have to sit by my side and babysit me all night just because I don't like crowds.

Tommy didn't get a chance to answer before Kim reappeared with Adam by her side.

"Hey guys, can I talk to you for a minute, Lynn?" I nodded and followed him out to the hallway. The music became more muffled, a better place for whatever he had to say.

"Lynn, I'm really sorry I disappeared on you like that. I figured I'd be gone for one song but Jane kept pulling me back. I didn't even realize just how much time had gone by." I forced another smile but Adam frowned back at me.

"Don't worry about it. You were having fun and lost track of time. How could you not when the girl you had your eyes on asked you to dance!" I laughed, though it didn't sound like I was so happy. Adam shook his head and frowned.

"But she's not the girl." I frowned and shook my head. 

"Well, either way, at least you had a good time and weren't suck babysitting the introvert all night." I laughed a bit and he frowned at me. 

"It's not babysitting, you're my best friend. Plus, I know you get anxious in crowds so it was really rude of me to leave you like that." He began to speak under his breath, but I managed to catch what he said. "Besides, I'd much rather spend time with you than anyone else at this dance anyway." 

"What do you mean?" He shook his head and whispered what sounded like 'screw it'.

"I mean, I like you, Lynn. You're the girl I was thinking about asking but I didn't want to mess up our friendship. Even though I probably just did that now." I smiled and looked up into his eyes.

"Adam?"

"Yeah?"

"I like you too. I didn't want to tell you who I wanted to ask earlier because I wanted to ask you." He smiled so wide I thought his cheeks might split open. 

He reached forward and pulled me into his arms for a hug. I wrapped my arms tight around his neck and he squeezed my waist a bit tighter. 

"Finally!" I jumped back and both of us turned our heads to see Rocky in the doorway. "I've been waiting for this for months!" Adam laughed as I smiled. 

"Well you two, the last slow song of the night is playing if you want to get a dance in." Adam smiled at me, then reached for my hand. 

"Well then, Lynn, would you like to dance?"

"I'd love to."