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I haven’t posted in a while! Life has been crazy! I got divorced, lost 120 lbs and I’m happier than I’ve ever been!

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Hello Monday, it's chemo day.

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Where have I been?

Well since my last post I have been through a lot of crap! My oldest son who has Epilepsy had a major set back. He had been seizure free for 2 years. He ended up having over 800 seizures in a week. Needless to say we were in the hospital for a while. The day after we got home from the hospital, I had to get my chemo. A month later my husband and a I split up....... and because all of that wasn't enough my parents decided to disown me because I demanded they get counseling for anger management. So it's been rather insane. Sometimes I just can't believe so much has happened in such a short amount of time. On the positive, my son's seizures are back under control, my husband and are in marriage counseling and trying, and my oldest daughter found out she is pregnant with another boy. So in the midst of so much negative there has been positivity.

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July 4th Sobriety

I always have such mixed emotions on this day. On one hand it's my 19th sobriety anniversary. On the other it was my due date with my twins that my exhusband murdered. They would have been 19. Drugs took so much from me but in the end I won. Take back your life while you still have one.

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Who else is using medical marijuana?

I mean actually using it only to help your medical issues. I understand others using it to get high but...... I can't be alone here. I literally use it to help with nausea, pain, anxiety and PTSD. I'm not judging at all, please don't get me wrong. I'm just genuinely curious. If you are using it like I am please leave a comment and let me know. Thanks in advance.

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Any time you have to wait more than 5 minutes for zofran...

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Mine is refusing to pay for my Ramicade infusions. Their reasoning is that it's not an FDA approved treatment for my illness. Umm, there is NO known treatment you idiot!

Fighting with your health insurance company to get pretty much anything covered ...

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Yes this! Just happened at my last chemo infusion.

When my doctor told me not to give up...

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My journey with Medical Marijuana Pt. 4

My first time in a dispensary was not at all what I expected. I guess I had the stereotypical idea that TV gives you. You know like a 70's lounge. Lol. Well it was very clean, nice and modern. It wasn't very big. It has edibles, oils, vapes, lotions and flowers. They would also roll your joints for you. I walked in that store using a cane, a cane I had been using for a while. My husband went with me because I was so very nervous. You see I am a recovered drug addict. The last time I had done anything was 7-4-2000. My husband has been trying to convince me to you medical marijuana for about a year. As an addict I wanted nothing to do with it. I was worried that by using it people would say I was no longer sober. My husband made me realize that it was no different than using any other medication my doctor had prescribed and that as long as I only used it when I needed it I would be fine. He also told me that no one could take away my status as being sober unless I allowed them. I am very careful about using it and my husband helps keep me accountable because I asked him to. I did NOT make the decision to use medical marijuana lightly. I cried over it, prayed about it and talked to my closest friends who know the real me. I obviously finally decided to try it and made no promises that I would continue using it regardless if it helped.

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It's not always going to be a good day or week. I can barely move and it even hurts to breath. But I must keep going.

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My oldest daughter is in cosmetology school and did my middle daughter's hair!

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My journey with Medical Marijuana Pt. 3

So the application process was very typical of a new patient at a doctor's office. It cost $200 and I was able to get in fairly quickly. When I made the appointment I asked what all I needed to being. I was told I only needed my drivers license and the payment. I was rather skeptical but figured maybe I would have to do 2 appointments or bring back proof my illness. So when I get there I checked in and got my new patient application. The application was exactly what you would expect. They asked about medical history, current medications, medical diagnosis and personal info like address and such. I was called back to see the doctor and he looked over my paperwork with me, asked a few questions and said "Okay, you're approved." I went to the front, paid and they gave me the info I needed to finish my online application with the state. I kid you not, that was it. I truly feel like this is a MAJOR flaw in the system. You should definitely have to provide proof of your diagnosis. But any how. I then went online did my application with our state, paid a $100 fee and about 3 weeks later I had my medical marijuana card. It was very simple and super easy. Maybe it's this easy so they can make as much money as possible. Anyone and I mean anyone could just go in and lie and get one. You will not be asked to prove your illness but you will be asked how it affects your every day life. I realize every state is different but I doubt they are much different than this.

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I am but multiple illnesses in a trenchcoat masquerading as a person

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I may not have a cure but medical marijuana has helped in ways I never thought possible. I haven't had to take a pain pill for a week!