to-thelakes - Tumblr blog

[to-thelakes]

Loki + smiles

[to-thelakes]

ten songs tag game!!

shuffle your ‘on repeat’ playlist and list the first 10 songs that play, then tag 10 people

i have never been tagged in one of these before so i'm feeling AHHHH (in a good way about it) so thank u @chelseasdagger (love u queen <3, also i have never heard of low roar?? will need to listen asap) but uhm, this is about to be interesting

1. The Black Dog - Taylor Swift

2. Florida!!! - Taylor Swift

3. The Albatross - Taylor Swift

4. girl i've always been - Olivia Rodrigo

5. Feels Like - Gracie Abrams

6. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - Taylor Swift

7. BSC - Maisie Peters

8. Not Strong Enough - boygenius

9. HOT TO GO! - Chappell Roan

10. Good Luck, Babe! - Chappell Roan

i don't have many people to tag but i do have @smurfenijsje12 and anyone else who sees this and wants to play!! :)

[to-thelakes]

thinking about my novel and how i desperately want to write it but i don't have the energy to write fanfics or my uni work, let alone a novel. can i be sedated for a week so i can come back to refreshed and ready to face the world?

[to-thelakes]

MILF (man I love frank castle)

[to-thelakes]

the day i see the goddamn milky-way with my own two eyeballs in real life is the day i know peace.

Summer Milky Way at Williams, Western Australia

Nikon d810a - 50mm - ISO 3200 - f/2.5 Foreground: 4 x 20 seconds Sky: 13 x 20 seconds iOptron SkyTracker

[to-thelakes]

"I WOULD'VE DIED FOR YOUR SINS INSTEAD I JUST DIED INSIDE YOU DESERVE PRISON BUT YOU WON'T GET TIME"

[to-thelakes]

REMINDER: do not trust your negative thoughts after 10pm, they're lying to you 🫶

[to-thelakes]

sat here crying for the first time in a month thanks to taylor alison swift. the manuscript just hits that spot deep inside that just makes me bawl.

[to-thelakes]

OMFG THIS COMMENT. GUISE. THAT LAST SENTENCE IS SO FUCKING RAW

[to-thelakes]

[to-thelakes]

honestly me too 😭 the second that blazer was off, i simply would not be able to function

don't worry, more dinah will be coming 😉

the missed dinner date

pairing; dinah madani x fem!reader

summary; after a long day, you just wanted to see dinah and go out with her but her job got in the way.

warnings; angst, hurt/comfort, domestic fluff, missed dinner date, anxious reader

notes; i was in a massively angsty mood so here's an angsty dinah madani one-shot. she does not get enough love in the fandom and i wanted her to get some love. i didn't really want it to be angsty to start but the angst goblin has been out in full-force lately so here it is. i hope you all enjoy and if her characterisation isn't perfect then i do apologise because i found it so difficult to get it right. BUT please enjoy this little (or well 3k one-shot hehe) <3

masterlist

When you had first seen Dinah’s apartment, you had been surprised by how pretty it was. The blue walls and kitchen cabinets contrasted beautifully with the marble counters and gray wood walls in the rest of the apartment. Everything looked perfect, organized, pretty, just like Dinah. Her couch was the comfiest thing you had - and probably would ever - sit on and you were pretty sure the apartment cost double your rent. Not even mentioning how expensive the furniture would have been. You couldn’t imagine living this well.

But Dinah did and it showed. Her clothes were always the highest quality, she held herself with a grace and poise that made you feel small and she smelled like French Vanilla all over; her hair, her clothes, her skin. It was the first thing you noticed when you met her. That smell was addicting and her apartment smelt exactly the same. It was like her presence had seeped into every piece of furniture and the walls. You loved it. 

And as you sat on her comfy couch, dressed up pretty for your date with her, you could smell the vanilla. It soothed the anxiety thumping through your chest. 

Dinah had given you a key to her apartment a few weeks ago. It was for times like this when she knew that she was going to be a little later than usual finishing with work but still wanted to spend every second with you. So, she wanted you to be waiting for her at home. You loved that. It made you feel wanted, it made you feel loved. Dinah made you feel loved even if she was a generally quite stoic and closed-off woman.

However, everything that you felt towards Dinah didn’t stop the frown that began to spread on your lips despite your attempts to fight it off. 

Dinah was supposed to have been back from work already. You were meant to be going out for dinner together but she wasn’t here. You were sitting in her apartment, dressed pretty for her and she wasn’t here. You should have been angry but you didn’t have the heart.

The rational part of you knew that her not being here probably wasn’t her fault. Work was busy and with everything that was going on - that Sam had very briefly told you about - you weren’t exactly surprised about her having to stay in late. Though, she could have told you. She knew you. You wouldn’t have been upset.

It could have just been a text message or a 20 second phone call. You didn’t expect a grand explanation. Just some warning. Instead, you had to watch as the clock ticked and she didn’t walk through the day at 6:30 like she had promised. And you stayed there, watching as the time ticked closer and closer to your dinner reservation which was going to go unused.

It was ten minutes before your reservation time that you called up the restaurant and told them to cancel the reservation, profusely apologising for such a late notice. The host you had spoken to on the phone had tried to be kind, asking if you just wanted to push it back but you knew that Dinah wasn’t going to make it. 

So, you politely asked if they could cancel it and wished them a good night. It was embarrassing enough that you had dressed up nicely for her to not be here. You didn’t want to have to call the restaurant again when she didn’t show up later.

And the time that you should have been at dinner ticked by and Dinah still wasn’t here. Your gut twisted, your eyes burned with unshed tears but you didn’t have the energy to cry. 

It had already been a long day and part of you wanted to go home but that would make you feel worse. At least in Dinah’s apartment, you were surrounded by her presence, her smell. It soothed the sting a little. Plus, being in Dinah’s apartment meant that you could see her whenever she finally made it home.

That just didn’t seem to be happening. It was 9pm that you gave up hope of salvaging any of your dinner plans. You glanced down at yourself and swallowed the lump in your throat. You had put on the dress that she loved, done full glam make-up for the first time in weeks, picked yourself up after a very long day and all of it had been for nothing. 

You dragged yourself up from the couch after another few minutes and headed straight to the bathroom. You knew where Dinah’s make-up cleanser and cotton pads were so you grabbed them and began to take your make-up off. 

You had done your hair so fucking pretty for her too and as you stared at yourself, wiping make-up away, you felt stupid. It was illogical because you and Dinah were together. Of course you would want to look pretty for her but it felt like wasted effort. You continued to wipe away the make-up, using each cotton pad until it was caked in make-up before throwing it away and starting a new one. It wasn’t long until you were bare-faced again.

The tiredness was evident on your features and you ran your fingers across your face before you dropped your shoulders. 

You were very thankful that you had left clothes in Dinah’s wardrobe and so you pulled the zipper down on your dress as you walked to the bedroom. You pulled the wardrobe open and grabbed your pajamas. You shimmied the dress down and off yourself as you swallowed the lump in your throat again. 

It was as you were tugging your pajama top on that you heard the apartment door open and close. You heard Dinah sigh but you didn’t call out to her. Instead, you just slipped the pajama pants on and walked over to her bed, pushing the covers back.

Her mattress was on the firmer side but you had learned to love it. It felt comforting against you and you nuzzled your face into the pillow, closing your eyes. You could hear Dinah clattering around in the kitchen. You didn’t know what she was doing but you could only assume that she was looking for food to make.

“Shit,” You heard her say and then you heard her heels clicking against the floor. It was silent for a few minutes before your phone began to ring from the living room where you’d left it. 

More heels clicking and then the phone stopped ringing but the bedroom door pushed open. Dinah stood there and she spotted you even in the gloom.

“You’re still here?” Dinah asked. You opened your eyes, looking over at her. You nodded, not really feeling like saying anything, “I’m sorry,” She said. It was rare that Dinah came out and apologized straight away but it made you feel a little better.

“What happened?” You asked, pushing yourself to sit up against the headboard. Dinah glanced back at the kitchen before she walked the rest of the way into the bedroom and to the bed where you were, “I guessed that it was work, canceled the reservation but didn’t want to go home. Thought that I might see you if I stayed.” Dinah’s face twisted in guilt and she glanced away for a moment before she sat down on the bed, shuffling closer to you.

“Did you eat?” Dinah asked. You shook your head, “I’ll make us something?” She asked, though it was more of a statement. You nodded and she slipped off the bed. You followed after her to the kitchen as she shed the blazer, throwing it onto the sofa. Part of you wanted her to explain herself but you knew that she would talk when she wanted to and so rather than pushing, you sat on the breakfast bar stool while Dinah grabbed the ingredients to cook.

You just watched her, equal parts comforted and saddened by her presence. Why couldn’t she have just been here a few hours ago? It would have been a perfect night. It would have made how long your day had been worth it. Your stomach growled as she switched the stove on.

“Frank Castle called me,” Dinah said after a beat of silence. Your eyebrows furrowed, “He had some intel and I needed to follow it.” You nodded along. Frank and Dinah had a long history, you were aware of that. He had saved her life last year, twice, and although you knew he was a morally questionable guy, you were thankful for that but you didn’t understand why she trusted him enough to follow his intel. Didn’t he want to hurt her?

“Did you find what you needed?” You asked, resting your cheek against the heel of your hand, watching as she cut up the vegetables on the chopping board.

“No.” You frowned at her bluntness, “They cleared out before I got there.” She sounded frustrated, an edge to her tone. That made sense why she wasn’t injured, “Castle probably scared them off.” You crossed your arms over your chest, shifting to rest back against the stool.

“I’m sure you’ll find them,” You responded, shrugging. Dinah nodded and she continued to cut through onions before she threw them into a pan.

“It was the best intel I’ve gotten in weeks and it was a bust,” She continued, the frustration seeping into her tone, “I don’t understand how they can stay so under the radar. They’ve never been subtle before now.” You sighed. Of course, you wanted her to be able to talk about her day but the fact that she hadn’t even acknowledged that her useless lead had made her miss her date with her girlfriend bugged you. As much as you wanted to be supportive, you were also tired and you wanted to go to sleep.

“I think I’m gonna head to sleep,” You said as you slipped off the breakfast bar. You really didn’t want to have this conversation right now.

“Hey,” Dinah turned around, stirring the onions but watching you. You stopped, glancing back at her, “You need to eat,” She stated. You shrugged.

“I’m not hungry.” Dinah scoffed and put the spoon in the pan before she took it off the heat and walked over to you. She grabbed your hip and twisted you around to face her. You avoided her gaze and she narrowed her eyes, searching your face, “Dinah, just let me go to sleep. It’s been a really long day and I’m tired.” Her eyebrows furrowed even further at the complete lack of a pet name.

“I didn’t want to miss dinner. I had to follow the intel,” She was making excuses for herself and you took a hold of her wrist, gently pushing her hand away. You really didn’t want to have this conversation with her, “I know you talked to Sam about the case so you know how important this is to me.” You sighed, feeling the lump form in your throat.

“I know it’s important, Dinah. But when you walked through that door, I wanted to see my girlfriend, not Agent Dinah Madani,” You stated. Dinah turned her head away, thinking and you felt the tears spring to your eyes. You and Dinah rarely fought. It was easy with her, most of the time, but you really needed her and you had made plans but she wasn’t there. The one time you just wanted a little bit of comfort or time with her, she wasn’t there. 

And the longer that she stayed silent, trying to work out how to approach this the worse you felt, “I’ve had a really long day so if you don’t know what to say, I’d rather just go to sleep and talk about it in the morning.” Dinah shook her head.

“I’ve started cooking so, tell me what happened today, and I’ll finish,” She said, moving her hands to cup your cheeks. Her hands tilted your face so that you were looking into her eyes and you couldn’t deny those brown eyes. It was like the whole world was hidden inside them and when you looked at her, everything made sense again.

“Okay,” You mumbled. Dinah smiled and leant forward, kissing your forehead before she stepped back. You followed her back to the kitchen and pulled yourself to sit on the counter while she went back to cooking.

“Tell me,” She encouraged as she continued on with the recipe that she had memorized.

“I woke up in a really bad mood this morning and the traffic was worse than normal so I got to work a few minutes late. That just meant that my micromanaging bitch fucking co-worker was on my ass all day about the project deadline and my manager wasn’t in so I couldn’t even get the heat off my ass. And I had to work through my lunch break because Brent fucking left last week without any notice. So, I’ve had to take the brunt of his work load which I didn’t want to but it was either that or lose my job and as much as I could sue them for wrongful termination and I’d have proof, I really just don’t have the energy to deal with that. And I got home and I was so tired but I was seeing you. So, I really tried. I wanted to look good but that was fucking pointless. You weren’t even here to see me and we didn’t go out so I wasted all the energy for fucking nothing and I just wished I didn’t have to go to work tomorrow,” You were venting and the second you were done you felt somewhat better. Dinah just listened, taking everything in and when she was done, she turned back to you. There was a frown on her lips and she gestured for you to come over to her, “It’s not your fault you had work but I just felt like I wasted energy I didn’t have and all I wanted was to see you,” You mumbled as you slid off the counter and walked over to her. Dinah tugged you into her side, holding you against her side with one arm while the other continued to stir the sauce that she had created.

You curled your arms around her, burying your face into the side of her and she leant over, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. The tension released from your shoulders a bit and she kissed your hair again before she continued to hold you and stir. The smell of French Vanilla filled your nostrils as you kept her close. It comforted you, smelling it on her directly.

“I’m sorry I missed dinner,” She said. You muttered a soft ‘thank you for apologizing’, “If you want to do it again this week, I can book us a reservation or we can do something else,” She proposed. The thought of doing anything with Dinah this week sounded appealing.

“Can we just stay here and watch movies?” You asked softly. Dinah pressed a kiss to your head.

“If that’s what you want to do, yes,” She responded. You grinned and tilted your head up to kiss her cheek. She smiled down at you.

“Can I have a proper kiss?” You requested. She rolled her eyes.

“Of course you can,” She stated before leaning in and kissing you on the lips. It was the first time you had kissed her all day and you were so glad to just be near her. You practically melted into her and she pecked your lips a few more times before pulling back, “Go sit down, I’ll bring it over,” She mumbled. You nodded and slipped out of her arms and over to the couch where you dragged the coffee table a little closer to you so that you didn’t have to reach for your food or water. 

And as you sat down, Dinah added the pasta to the sauce before stirring it up, adding some cheese and plating it for the two of you. The two of you ate in comfortable silence, watching the late night show that was on as you both enjoyed slowing down and relaxing for the first time all night.

[to-thelakes]

PSA: if my writing is ever incoherent or sounds like a sleep deprived 19 year old wrote it, that's because that's exactly what happened. i almost exclusively write while tired at the moment :)

[to-thelakes]

girllll, you are SO right about frank’s that hair he looks sooo delicious like that. i mean i get that beard is hot too (he is always hot i know i know) but i think it would be so scratchy to kiss him and it would sting -not a comfy seat- (omg who said that🙀) but yeah he is so damn hot with that haircut

i just hope that we can see charlie all hairy on DDBA, i know it’s not gonna happen for jon, yet i feel it in my heart that he is like a caveman if he’d just let his body hair grow

he looks so fucking delicious, it's insane 🥵 i would do anything for that haircut on frank to come back because it is the sexiest that mf has looked (tho he's always sexy but yk what i mean)

also i do have a counterpoint that after a beard gets to a certain length they do get softer but personally, beards are just not for me (tho i am a whore for stubble) and i feel like they would have a weird feeling that my sensory ass would hate 😂 so i completely understand it (the beard burn on your thighs would be insane.. 👀)

and pls if charlie shaves again it would be so sad 😭 give us some chest hair pls, at least once, just once, just a little

[to-thelakes]

you're so right about frank's late season 1 hair like that's how he always looks in my mind it's my favvv

me too!! i think it's honestly when he looked prettiest even if it's when he was being beaten and tortured 🥵🥰 like i only ever picture him like that and i would do anything for late season 1 frankie

[to-thelakes]

okay im so glad you're a taylor fan!! i've found another!! (ttpd is out tomorrow and im so excited and terrified) and i hate to admit it but i am a chronic believer that i will never receive the same love i give so i totally get where you're coming from there 🫶

when i hear tolerate it live in june im gonna lose my mind. im so excited

your story isn't silly, it literally hits a spot that i didn't realise i needed a fic for as a chronic single girlie who has never kissed a man in her goddamn life. it's been such a comfort and it's on my mind constantly and like?? tolerate it fits teacher!frank and reader soooo much, it hurt my soul a little when i made the connection

and not wanting characters sad is so incredibly real, like i only write angst when im sad otherwise it just makes me feel so bad and i can't do it for long. but low stakes angst would be cute even if it's sad :( i just want them to be happy but i totally get why we would need some tension. if you ever want to talk about teacher!frank series with someone else, i am more than happy to listen bc i LOVE that series so so much.

i love you too 🫶 and i feel like taylor is how we all aim to be because she is so fucking phenomenal with lyrics and how she is able to articulate herself. im just constantly in awe of her!

i'm not sure if you're a taylor swift fan or not but i was just scrolling my dash and someone asked the question of whether 'tolerate it' by her was matt or frank-coded. and i was thinking about it and it's giving... like if frank from your teacher series and reader had some angst, like they had some relationship problems like, 'i wait by the door like i'm just a kid' / 'you're so much older and wiser' / 'if it's all in my head tell me now, tell me i've got it wrong somehow' (bc reader seems to be like anxious (so me)). it all screams them if their relationship went wrong, ALSO 'i made you my temple, my mural, my sky' reader i feel like ADORES frank an insane amount and if that relationship ended badly?? god she would be SO HURT

anyway, i just had the thought in my head and needed to share <3 (sorry)

i just so happen to be a taylor swift fan and i need you to know that you NEVER have to apologize for coming to talk to me through here and ESPECIALLY never when it’s about my fics, i adore any and all feedback/ideas when it comes to my stories!!

i’ll also have you know that tolerate it is one of my FAVORITE songs she’s written but i can’t listen to it often because i cry every time. as someone who over analyzes and has so much emotion and knows deep down that i’ll never receive the same amount of love as i give out that song HITS so hard and i’m a big ball of mess when that song comes on but i never have the strength to stop it!!

but ruby i’m actually sitting here about to cry cause i cannot believe you took something so beautiful and related it to my silly little story 🥺 i adore that song and i feel like that would fit them SO well should something bad happen between them. those lyrics you pointed out in particular are a really good highlight to reader’s anxiety when it comes to the whole thing, something i wanted to still keep a thread of throughout the series because she’s supposed to be like me and be crazy anxious. i’m glad she’s relatable, but i also hate that you know the feeling

reader definitely has feelings for frank and this next chapter i’m only going to turn the dial up some more. i kinda expected her to fall hard and fast (like me) and then have her try to struggle with calming herself down, and beginning all the questions of if frank cares about her that way or not. i’ve wanted to do some angst in this story, cause i adore the feeling my heart gets when i read really great angst fics, but i just am such a crybaby i don’t wanna have my characters sad CKSKDKSK i hope i can sprinkle in some low-stakes angst that a few friends had recommended i try out to cause tension but not do too much harm

but oh my gosh, you have no idea how high of a compliment this is to me. i adore that song, i adore taylor’s writing and i want to be able to tell stories and phrase things like she does when i grow older :’) thank you SO so much for sharing, this has been the highlight of my week. i love you 🩵

[to-thelakes]

[to-thelakes]

DINAH MADANI (x fem!reader)

^ - fluff / * - smut

ONE-SHOTS

the missed dinner date