tobeornottobe-yaboiihamlet

[tobeornottobe-yaboiihamlet]

Enjoy yet another low quality meme

[tobeornottobe-yaboiihamlet]

Hamlet on Ellen

Ellen: So I heard you’re not over your father’s death

Hamlet: Yeah

*a ghost resembling the late King Hamlet appears*

Hamlet: Omg, Ellen, you didn’t

[tobeornottobe-yaboiihamlet]

Today I became companions with Ophelia’s gravedigger. He talked bad about me, but you know, it’s alright. Partly my fault because I had to play the part of a crazy man. He gave me a skull. That was so cool and it definitely earned him best friend points. It belonged to some guy named Yorick. What an unfortunate name. Every guy should be Hamlet, it’s such a cool name. he was cool though. We had some fun, sucks that he’s like… dead now. Lol, the priest thought Ophelia shouldn’t have been given that beautiful funeral. He thought she should have been buried in land that wasn’t sanctified. Oh, and then, Ophelia’s bro jumped into the grave! Like what… I feel you though bro. Then Laertes (Ophelia’s bro) challenged me to a dual. This may be my last post ever boisss, but I doubt it. I am like… a pro at duels. I will beat Laertes in the blink of an eye. Oh, and on top of this duel, I also pretended to be Claudius so I could have Rosencrantz and Guildenstern killed. Do I feel bad? Not at all. They meddled with my life, so ill meddle with theirs. They should’ve seen this coming anyways, they messed with the wrong dude. I should probably do some stretches before the dual. I need to look the part, you know… the part of the winner? Because I’m gonna win. Anyways my fellow bois, I’m gonna go prepare for his “huge” dual. Adieu my loyal blog followers.

[tobeornottobe-yaboiihamlet]

[tobeornottobe-yaboiihamlet]

My boiiis, you are not gonna believe what I did today. It was a total accident… but I mean… whatever happens, happens, am I right? So, funny story. I went to talk to mommy today… and well, let’s just say it didn’t end as I had planned. I didn’t hurt her! I swear! My dad made me promise… but I may have “accidentally” hurt Polonius… I thought it was Claudius!! I really did! I didn’t mean to kill the love of my life’s dad! It was an accident… but I mean… I won’t miss him. Man, was he annoying. Honestly, I don’t think Ophelia will get mad if she ever found out I killed her dad… I mean, it was an accident! It’s not my fault Polonius was creepy stalking us behind a curtain. Anyways, who cares about Polonius. Dad said I couldn’t hurt mom but he never said I could put her in her place. Yea yea you may be thinking I’m some horrible, selfish, bratty kid, but come on! She deserved it! Like come on, my dad was so hot and then here’s Claudius looking like a hideous beast. Is she blind?? Dad came to help me though. We talked about how I should probably get back to my revenge plot and leave mommy alone. Poor mommy, she’s probably so confused. Ill comfort her after I get rid of that awful man-child, Claudius. I promised dad I would get rid of him. Revenge always come first. Anyways, adieu my loyal blog followers.

[tobeornottobe-yaboiihamlet]

To be or not to be… that is not the question because I know who I am boiiissssss. So today I walked into a trap. Although, it wasn’t a trap for I knew what was occurring… so I guess we could call it… well, a fail. How sad, poor Ophelia, they use you as bait. My love, my heart, my pain. You shouldn’t let those men use you. Oh poor child, I know they are behind that curtain. I decided to play a little with these guys. If Polonius and Claudius want crazy… they’ll get crazy. Death. How close it is too a comforting sleep. But alas, the dreams. Dreams? Nightmares! These nightmares. Ugh, but you know what the good thing about death is? Being away from the pain of love. After giving my dramatic speech about absolute nonsense I pretended to spot Ophelia holding her fake prayer book. The worst part? She tried to give me all the stuff I gave her! Who does that? Ugh, she’s so beautiful, but she’s dishonest. I could never trust her again. Yeah Ophelia, if you’re reading this, I used to love you… at some point, but now you disappoint me. Unlike me, you need to go back to where you belong (the nunnery, obviously). I have never been so full of disgust while thinking about marrying someone. You know, in fact, let’s just stop marriage. For all those married remain in your miserable life, while the others, well, forget about it. Marriage is stupid. Adieu, my loyal blog followers.

[tobeornottobe-yaboiihamlet]

Hey boiis, day 2 of my blog. Today I saw my dad… well, my dead dad. Horatio was right, my dad did appear, and this time, he spoke to me. He wants me to avenge his death… he says Claudius poisoned him… I KNEW IT! I WAS RIGHT! I knew something was right. Now it’s my turn to get revenge. I must get Claudius back for killing my dad. I know Claudius killed my beloved father because the ghost said, “The serpent that did sting thy father’s life now wears his crown” (1.5.46-47). I can’t believe that. He killed my dad just so he could get to my mom and brainwash her to marry him. How furious I am! I must give him the same fate he gave my father. My poor dad… he’s just burning in purgatory. I must avenge his death! The saddest part, is that my dad knows how he died! Claudius snuck in while he was asleep and poured poison in his ear. My dear, dear father. You did not deserve this fate. Although, why can’t I get mommy back. Why did you make me promise to not get mommy? She didn’t even care about you! That selfish witch. She married Claudius as soon as we put you in the ground. How could she do that to you? I told my homeboys about my revenge plot… but don’t worry! They’re sworn to secrecy. They’ll neverrrr tell. Anyways my boiissssss, this is the end of blog entry #2. Adieu, my loyal blog followers.

[tobeornottobe-yaboiihamlet]

Today my homeboy Horatio informed me the ghost of my dead dad appeared to him… like what? There’s no way that’s insane. He wants me to... like... investigate or something… I don’t know, that’s kinda weird… but I’m also intrigued, so we’ll see what happens. Horatio said, “I knew your father; these hands are not more alike” (1.2. 221-22). Could this be for real? I kinda wanna find out for myself. Do you think he’s mad? If he shows up with a weapon, then he’s for sure mad and I should probably run… but he’s my dad? What should I do? I told Horatio and the boys to give me some space so I can prepare myself for the meeting of my ghost father. I mean, I really hate new daddy, Claudius… so it’d be nice to see my real dad again. Maybe he can help me get rid of this guy, he’s so annoying. Sometimes I really wish I was dead. I feel like things would be so much easier. If I die, then I can get away from Claudius and my awful mom and her attempt to make me happy and be with my dad. Do you think I could come back as a ghost? I think I could. That would be pretty cool. Maybe I can taunt Ophelia with my dirty jokes and haunt Claudius and mommy. I wish they didn’t bring these two nimrods to come “keep me company.” I know they’re spying on me. Anyways, adieu my loyal blog followers.