tomatofights

[tomatofights]

real, non-sarcastic question: I don’t understand why you’re framing the work of a conservative religious nationalist movement as not somehow oppressive? it’s true that in this context the Houthi movement is standing against American imperialist nationalism, and that’s an important part of their activism. but I don’t understand how a movement that uses, like, religious hatred and rape as both rhetorical and actual political tools is somehow not a vector of oppression just because they’re less powerful than the American state?? like I don’t know, to me this stance feels kind of - patronizing…? I know that’s definitely not what you mean so I must be misinterpreting; would you mind helping me understand your point of view?

When a blog that says "reclaming judaism from zionism" also says glory to people that use the slogan "a curse upon the jews", your only hope is that the people running this blog arent jewish, otherwise we have a very sad problem.

[tomatofights]

thank you for helping me understand that I misunderstood your point. as I mentioned briefly in the tags, I am not Jewish, but have been attending a synagogue for three years & organizing withJewish leftist friends for much longer, & I did not read correctly that this was not a post for discussing why & how antisemitism appears in public spaces, both online & offline. I am probably thinking too much about my own conversations with people in my IRL who are influenced by shitty sources like nativenews. I’m sorry I misread the intent of the post.

although I am not Jewish & I have not yet been through a conversion class, my Jewish practice & community informs my life on a daily basis. I have a pretty in-depth understanding of 20th century Jewish-American history, including multiple strands of Jewish leftist organizing, because of my friendships, community, education & work in the greater New York City area. my comment about Chabad is informed by a decade of conversations with friends & fellow organizers who work primarily in Brooklyn, some of them OTD. as you know, Chabad has particular influence in Crown Heights, Borough Park, etc. the menorah itself doesn’t hold political weight, of course not, but Chabad as an organization has specific political & religious aims that are worth discussing within a nuanced, meaningful context. often, these nuanced conversations are misread by people who are not deeply involved in organizing discussions & that misunderstanding can lead to events like menorah vandalizations under the antisemitic mis-impression that it is useful activism to do so.

I’m sorry I didn’t appropriately show that I understood that context in my response to you, & I hope you understand I was coming in good faith. thank you for explaining your response, & thank you for taking the time to show me how I’d spoken carelessly; I’ll be more careful next time.

Hey uhh @/nativenews has been posting antisemitic shit and platforming sketchy tweeters can we maybe stop rbing from them

[tomatofights]

I’m….agreeing with you???? how is this derailing????

obviously I didn’t make my point well; I was trying to point out why people act in antisemitic ways so that if people (especially people who are not Jewish) see leftists in their life engaging in antisemitism, they can think about where that antisemitism is coming from (& maybe how they can have conversations about it to unpack it together). I’m sorry I didn’t add enough explanations & caveats - I clearly hurt you, and I apologize.

Hey uhh @/nativenews has been posting antisemitic shit and platforming sketchy tweeters can we maybe stop rbing from them

[tomatofights]

Hey uhh @/nativenews has been posting antisemitic shit and platforming sketchy tweeters can we maybe stop rbing from them

[tomatofights]

Lately my favorite X account to follow the news on Palestine and the war in Gaza is strangely not an arab or a muslim account but that of Caitlin Johnston, a writer from Australia.

Her writing is a blend of humanity/deep empathy for the victims and a strong ability to analyze the crimes committed by zionists and westerners from angles she would not normally be able to consider given the western propaganda to which she has been exposed all her life. Her integrity and intellectual honesty, her freedom. of spirit which made her capable of combating the biais that she probably formed in an environment hostile to Arabs and Muslims - makes her account a sort of refuge in which I relax enough to forget my strong anger, my own prejudices for a while and accept the words coming from a white person.

Her posts have become so long lately that it seems like she's blogging rather than tweeting. She should also post on Tumblr (she already has a susbtack newsletter) rather than X, although I suspect she wouldn't have the same audience and popularity. So I'm reposting part of her messages here.

I hope you find this latest tweet as helpful as I do: it is less informative/analytical than her other posts usually are, and is more of a contemplative article about what the deaths of innocent Palestinian civilians has done to her mind and to her body. It sounds like a complaint: extremely sad and at the same time wonderfully liberating because it expresses feelings that were buried inside me too and that I couldn't find the words to express.

If you are mentally capable of reading about grief, it is definitely worth taking some time for these thoughts. It's short and of great emotional and intellectual value.

[tomatofights]

respectfully, while I absolutely agree about the racist project of modern Israeli statehood, I think it’s important not to fully conflate geopolitical zionism with white nationalism because antisemitism in white nationalist movements, including in the US, is part of what makes Israeli statehood seem necessary to those invested in it - I do not say this AT ALL to defend Israel’s genocidal and racist actions, nor the existence of the modern state of Israel, but to point out how, while white nationalism is not and has never been fueled by actual religious, social, or ethnic persecution, geopolitical Zionism very much was. in order to effectively fight Israel’s racist nationalism, as well as the ways racism works within Jewish communities, I personally think it’s important to address how and why the Israeli government is operating from a profoundly racist, fascist, and genocidal playbook against Palestinians while also recognizing the specifically - well, white nationalist genocide of European Jews that led to the creation of Israel in the first place.

again, I fully agree with OP’s assessment of the racist construction of the Arab figure in Israel, the ways antiblackness is being used as part of this construction, and the extreme harm caused by Israel’s racist apartheid system. I only want to suggest that fully equating white nationalism and the Israeli right’s racist nationalism might obscure some important aspects of that nationalism.

Also another thing: people keep saying that the Israel Palestine conflict can’t be understood in racial terms because not all Israelis are white regret how race is constructed. It’s not a biological reality. White people aren’t born white, they are made as the interests of white supremacy fluctuates. To deny any racializatipn of Palestinians and Arabs within this conflict is to not see how race is a made up thing used to justify the domination of others. the stark parallels Black Americans feel as we watch Zionists do what is a kin to Blackface but with Palestinians, the musician calling Gaza “a Black bitch” to a crowd of cheering people, the utter whiteness of pro Israel marches, the history of forced sterilization of Ethiopian Jewish women, the controlled immigration from certain non white jewish populations, the racial stereotyping that aids in the dehumanization of Palestinians. It’s all plain as day that Zionism is also a white nationalist project in many respects.

[tomatofights]

Fascism sells a synthetic nostalgia.

[tomatofights]

[n.b. lists abridged (by tomato, the person typing this) to those behaviors less specific to anarchist collectives and most likely to impact online communities. comments added by tomato are in italics and square brackets.]

The following is a by-no-means exhaustive list of behaviors that should send up red flags among collective members that the groups dynamics need to be reexamined to ensure equal participation...The reason we list these red flags is not so people who identify them in their own groups can point fingers or find fault, but so they might become aware that the dynamics of their group need attending to....

Group Behaviors

People walk on eggs for fear of upsetting the “leader.” People chastise others for having upset the “leader.” 

Unsubstantiated rumors and gossip, especially attacking someone for being racist or sexist (hard to defend against [even without evidence]) or for unspecific offenses, such as being “uncooperative,” “unreasonable,” or “disruptive” (hard to prove or disprove).

A sustained campaign to discredit someone, with accusations such as “thief,” “liar,” and “control freak” being tossed around without substantiation or clearly trumped up (i.e., a person who borrows or loses something is declared a thief and a ban is called for [or a person who watches the “wrong” show is called a pedophile and a ban is called for].) 

A petition [or call-out] being circulated for...signatures that vilifies someone. People signing such a petition [or sharing such a call-out] without any first-hand knowledge of the accusations, often in an attempt to be helpful....(Or to avoid angering the accusers and becoming themselves the subjects of the next petition [/call-out]). 

Constant shit-talking about people formerly associated with the group, even in a humorous vein. 

Calls for banning cropping up whenever there’s a problem. 

Individual Behaviors

Acting exasperated that someone would waste the group’s times with trivialities. 

Crushing dissent by fabricating distracting excuses or creating a smokescreen. 

Trying to create a feud by consistently slandering someone behind their back or baiting them to their face. (For instance: is there someone who takes every opportunity to complain about the same person? “They’re a stalker/a sexual harasser/a sexist/crazy/out go get me, etc.”)

Using outright intimidation such as staring down, yelling, histrionics, or acting as if one is (barely) suppressing indignant rage. 

Acting wounded or victimized when one is actually the aggressor. 

Acting wounded or outraged whenever someone makes a reasonable request, like asking for accountability of an expenditure. (Extra-red flag: does this person consider themselves to be so far above the rules that govern the group that they might actually be appropriating the group’s funds or other resources?) 

Making oneself indispensable by not allowing anyone to help or have access to the information they would need in order to help.

Suggesting (or insisting!) that fundamental principles [or behavioral norms and boundaries] should be set aside to deal with a crisis (or to appeal to important constituencies, like sources of funding [or attention, in the online economy]). 

Having no patience for fundamental principles [or behavioral norms and boundaries] (implyng that they, or ideals [or behavioral rules] in general, are childish). 

Relishing verbal arguments with those less knowledgeable or more vulnerable just for the glee of crushing them. 

Demonstrating contempt for other people’s ideas or their right to express them (i.e., by scoffing, ridiculous, or belittling [i.e., calling people “freaks”]). Not to be confused with honest debate, which engages. Contempt only silences. 

Controlling situations with fear by flying into a histrionic rage at insignificant provocations (i.e., a group didn’t put away chairs after a meeting....[or someone respectfully disagrees with a group’s de facto leader]).

Controlling situations with fear by predicting dire consequences. People who are worried or perceive an impending crisis are much more likely to succumb to manipulation. 

Creating and spreading doomsday scenarios while setting oneself up as the lightning rod to deflect them,

Paranoia. Ascribing nefarious underlying motives to someone whose actions are merely uninformed or apparently innocent. Going on the attack is often the most effective way to avoid having to answer for one’s own behavior.

Creating self-fulfilling prophecies that serve one’s goals. (For example: repeatedly stating that the neighbors are becoming less and less tolerant of loud punk rock shows [or repeatedly warning that watching, reading, or thinking the wrong material will lead to dangerous or abusive behavior].) 

Flaunting one’s knowledge (esp. of anarchism, collectivism, radicalism[, morally correct, anti-racist, leftist behaviors]) to set oneself up as the go-to person for advice on how to proceed. 

from Come Hell or High Water: a Handbook on Collective Process Gone Awry by Delfina Vannucci and Richard Singer

[tomatofights]

There can be no revolutionary actions…where the relations between people and groups are relations of exclusion and segregation. Groups must multiply and connect in ever new ways, freeing up territorialities for the construction of new social arrangements. Theory therefore must be conceived as a toolbox, producing tools that work…[and] a radical reversal of the relationships between individuals and tools or machines….[S]uch a reversal must be governed by a collective political process, and not by professionals and experts. The ultimate answer to neurotic dependencies on professionals is mutual self-care.

from Mark Seem’s introduction to Anti-Oedipus: Capitalism and Schizophrenia by Gilles Deleuze and Félix Guattari

[tomatofights]

from Tacky: Love Letters to the Worst Culture We Have to Offer by Rax King

[tomatofights]

The art of living counter to all forms of fascism. whether already present or impending, carries with it a certain number of essential principles…:

Free political action from all unitary and totalizing paranoia.

Develop action, thought, and desires by proliferation, juxtaposition, and disjunction, and not by subdivision and pyramidal hierarchization.

Withdraw allegiance from the old categories of the Negative (law, limit, castration, lack, lacuna), which Western thought has so long held sacred as a form of power and an access to reality. Prefer what is positive and multiple, difference over uniformity, flows over unities, mobile arrangements over systems. Believe that what is productive is not sedentary but nomadic.

Do not think that one has to be sad in order to be militant, even though the thing one is fighting is abominable. It is the connection of desire to reality (and not its retreat into the forms of representation) that possesses revolutionary force. 

Do not not use thought to ground a political practice in Truth; nor political action to discredit, as mere speculation, a line of thought. Use political practice as an intensifier of thought ,and analysis as a multiplier of the forms and domains for the intervention of political action. 

Do not demand of politics that it restore the “rights” of the individual, as philosophy has defined them. The individual is the product of power. What is needed is to “de-individualize” by means of multiplication and displacement, diverse combinations. The group must not be the organic bond uniting hierarchized individuals, but a constant generator of de-individualization. 

Do not become enamored of power. 

from Michel Foucault’s introduction to Anti-Oedipus: Capitalism and Schizophrenia by Gilles Deleuze and Félix Guattari 

[tomatofights]

(audio of the above essay) 

“The Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power” by Audre Lorde, from Sister Outsider 

[tomatofights]

“The Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power” by Audre Lorde, from Sister Outsider 

[tomatofights]

damn! really coming to the realization that the people I feel compelled to fight with are operating from the same place of fear and frustration that I am, but have decided to turn that fear people more vulnerable than them. maybe this will finally convince me to stop doing this (no promises, unforch, I’ve been trying to stop fighting people online when I feel fucked up about things for years and years).

also, I love that I can just delete things. as someone with a poor memory who feels a very strong urge to archive things, it’s usually hard for me to delete anything I’ve ever done. but you know what? fuck it! I don’t owe anything to anyone, nor will I have to prove my reality to some future arbiter of perception. I can just delete the dumb shit I do and forget it and that can be fine!

[tomatofights]

language in this post is very interesting to me, because it feels very slippery. I think it will take a lot of careful and precise definition to make sure we aren’t talking past each other. I don’t know that I can do that tonight, or at all, because I am not sure you are listening to what I’m actually saying.

what I can try to explain briefly is:

discrimination based on gender and relationship to reproductive justice is already endemic in the US. the conservative misogynist and transmisogynist legislators use some of the same arguments you are using to oppress us. that worries me. saying that women have a “natural closeness” is sexist. I don’t understand why you want to defend sexist ideas as part of your feminism.

it’s true that right now it’s tricky, in some leftist and progressive communities, to make spaces intended only for binary women, because we are trying to unlearn a lifetime of exclusion and haven’t figured out “standard” language to address the needs of some people without disenfranchising others. this is a problem, actually, yes, in my opinion; women deserve [literal and figurative] spaces just as other people of other identities also deserve spaces for their own use. I would argue that tags on tumblr like “TERFs please touch” or whatever are in fact you creating spaces for cis women who feel angry at trans people to talk; surely it should be possible to create at least virtual spaces that serve the need you discuss.

what other material resources do you need? are you really in competition for those resources with trans women or are those resources being withheld by a patriarchal system run primarily by cis men? do you think trans women could be your ally in fights against gender discrimination and for reproductive justice? do you think that trans women are going to steal your right to vote? wouldn’t that actually be the purview of conservatives in power using manipulating the law in order to achieve their political agendas? don’t they already do this with voting literally every goddamn year? why are you focused on trans women when your fear is in the hands of conservative politicians? why not look at them?

I don’t know who Dylan Mulvaney is or what you mean by “unwarped womanly experience.” all experiences of womanhood are mediated by the culture in which we live, and the ideas we’re raised with about gender.

it’s not surprising that someone who was raised with particular gendered expectations would find solace and joy in exploring previously inaccessible gender expression, much as I found solace and joy when I decided never to wear high heels again. although the beauty industry is part of the system of patriarchal oppression, some cis women also take pleasure in “feminine” gender expressions. we need to dismantle the beauty industry but that isn’t the same thing as controlling other people’s clothes, cosmetics, or bodies. what’s your point in bringing up how she dresses and moves her body?

I don’t understand why, if you are theoretically supportive of reproductive justice and not controlling how other people interact with their own bodies, you’re bringing up some social media rando talking to the US President in a PR move as a symbolic support trans people at a time when legislators are actively attempting to prevent access to gender-affirming care. what’s the point? just that she calls herself a woman? or that she exists at all?

day 1 of being a girl. my mom barely waits ten minutes after i’m born before painting my toes red. i’m a newborn infant and already being taught what gives me value as a female in this world.

day 1,100 of being a girl. the dresses i have to wear to church are itchy and uncomfortable, but i have no choice. i have to wear them, or god will be sad. it doesn’t matter that i’m autistic and certain textures are hell on my skin, or that having my short hair pulled into pigtails is painful. i’m not a person. i’m an ornament. i’m a girl.

day 1,465 of being a girl. my mom plays the piano at home for me to sing show tunes. i request to sing the boy’s song, because the boy gets to have fun in his song, and be rowdy and goofy. it takes a while, but mom finally relents, and i get to be a kid for a moment.

day 1,825 of being a girl. for my 5th birthday, my grandpa takes me to walmart to buy a fishing rod so i can go fishing with him at the creek. he buys me a bright pink barbie fishing rod, even though i sulked at the very idea. it’s less functional than the other rods and, like most things with ‘girl’s’ in the title, mostly decorative. i hate it.

day 2,940 of being a girl. i’m pulled aside on my first day at a new school for wearing shorts that are deemed ‘inappropriate’. i’m admonished to never wear them again, or i will be sent to the principal’s office. i’m in third grade.

day 3,270 of being a girl. my best friend has a mary kay birthday party, where the mary kay rep lets us try out eyeshadow and mascara and blush. i beg my mom to let me take some home, but she says i’m too young, only relenting and buying me a couple lip glosses. i saw how i looked with my lashes so long and black, my eyes sparkling with pigment, and wondered why i had to be ugly, at almost nine years old.

day 3,670 of being a girl. one of my mom’s friends has a daughter a few years older than me. she wears glasses and, when i’m forced to get glasses, i study her to figure out how she’s still beautiful with her glasses while i’m doomed to be ugly with mine. i figure out it’s because she has her ears pierced. i ask to get mine pierced so i can still be beautiful.

day 4,015 of being a girl. my parents take us to visit our grandparents for the first time in a few years. an old man who previously paid me no mind sits behind us during church and tugs on my hair and runs his fingers down my neck and shoulders and back. he does this during the entire service, and i don’t move an inch, focusing completely on not reacting. maybe then he’ll stop. afterwards he tells my mom how stubborn i am, with a laugh and a wink. i’m thoroughly changed from this experience and see the world through different eyes.

day 4,400 of being a girl. i’m at the pool with my family and my mom scolds me. i only shaved below my knees and left my thighs alone, because that’s what the puberty booklet said some women do. my legs are long and i don’t want to waste so much time in the shower shaving them. she shames me for not removing all the hair, and i never show my legs unshaved again.

day 4,745 of being a girl. i get my first period. my stomach cramps feel like i’m dying. i tell my mom and she tells me ‘welcome to hell’ before handing me some pads. i go on to have period cramps so painful i vomit and have to stay home from school, shaking in the corner of my room with the heating pad on full blast. my periods are three days long, i bleed so heavily. but anytime i express an opinion that’s contrary to the boy i’m talking to, he says i must be on my period. why else would i be opinionated? that’s all periods are - a time when girls and women are obnoxiously pissed off for silly emotional reasons, not crumpled on the floor dry-heaving because their stomach has nothing left to give up.

day 4,800 of being a girl. we’re gathering for family prayer before bedtime when my parents tell me to change shirts. i’m in a wide-strap tank top. they say my ‘boobs are all out’. my a-cup, barely developed, thirteen year old boobs are offending them. i throw on a sweater and want to crawl under a rock.

day 5,600 of being a girl. i stop wearing makeup and only paint my nails occasionally. i’ve gotten into 1960s hippie culture and my mom loathes it. she begs me to wear makeup. i tell her i feel beautiful exactly as i am. she shuns me until i relent, asking her if she’ll give me the money to buy new eyeshadow and lipsticks. she happily agrees, and finally starts to look at me again.

day 5,700 of being a girl. i’m taken to the emergency room in the middle of the night for what i believe is appendicitis. the pain is unbearable. i’m given a pill for nausea and then interrogated by several doctors, without my mom present, about whether or not i’m pregnant and am i really sure i’m not? and am i absolutely telling the truth that i’m a virgin? really? after an hour they finally ultrasound my abdomen and discover an ovarian cyst so large, it’s a millimeter away from them having to surgically remove it. i’m given tylenol and sent home without any sort of apology.

day 5,940 of being a girl. my geography teacher tells the class they have a new student, and i beam since it’s me. the boy sitting in front of me gets excited. ‘a new student?’ he says, turning around to see me. i smile, thinking maybe we’ll be friends. ‘oh.’ he replies, thoroughly disappointed at my appearance. i go home and cry for hours.

day 6,300 of being a girl. the boys i eat lunch with have a lot of opinions about women. women who wear makeup are ugly, they say. they sleep in it and pile on more in the morning. only the girls who wear ‘natural’ makeup are beautiful. it’s ugly when they stand up after class and pull their pants up. it’s annoying and stupid when they get into geeky stuff like doctor who. but have you heard about this new superhero film?, they ask each other. let’s go to the comic book shop after school, they invite each other. i haven’t showered in two days, they say with guffaws. i try to make conversation. they act like i’m not even there. i’m not, not really. not in a way that matters to them.

day 7,000 of being a girl. i cut my hair short and dress in my usual comfortable clothes. my mom berates me, asking me how i think i’ll ever get a husband dressed like that. she asks me why i want to look like a boy, why i think i look good the way i dress when i very clearly do not. she yells at me about this for hours on several different occasions, until eventually, i think maybe she’s right.

day 7,550 of being a girl - except now i think i may as well try to be a boy, since being a girl was never anything good for me, and everyone is always asking me if i’m trans because of my hair and how i like video games, so maybe they’re right. i just feel like a person, not a girl, and all my life experiences have taught me girls aren’t people. i tell my old friend from high school about this over email, and his first response? asking me if i’d like to have sex with him before i transition, just so i know how it feels as a girl. i politely decline. it isn’t until i tell my therapist about this that i realize how fucked up his response was.

day 8,800 of being a girl. i realize i am a woman, and that women, no matter how society tries to beat it into us, are in fact people. woman is not a feeling. woman is my material reality. for expressing this online, i’m told i’ve fallen for a cult, a hate group, a lie. that men in wigs and dresses know what it means to be a woman far more than i do, that i should listen to them and let them tell my story. i refuse. i am a woman. and i have a whole lifetime of experience being one to back up my claim.

[tomatofights]

man, fighting stupid fights is making me think about how I semi-jokingly called myself a radical feminist in my early 20s (which I forgot I did, I recently found some writing from that time and was very surprised to see that self-description in there) and how much that phrase has changed from what I meant by it (based on the context in which I used it) and what I see people use the phrase to mean now.

same fights have me thinking about the shifting use of the phrase TERF and has really introduced me to the way people are scooping the meaning out of that phrase to use it as a bludgeon (meaning it can more easily be co-opted by conservative and anti-feminist thinkers). also recently realized how widespread it has become to call basic feminist ideas, if they at all address material harms, being called TERFy, which is truly bananas to me.

like…I don’t know, in a U.S. context, I think it is true to say that the overturning of Roe v. Wade is misogynist legal activism aimed at limiting the rights and autonomy of those belonging the political category of woman (by which the conservatives pushing an anti-abortion agenda mean pretty much exclusively cis women; I think the political category of woman includes but is not limited to cis women, and that various other categories are also impacted by this legislation).

the leftist conversation around Roe v Wade has been interested in making sure to include reference to people who may not identify as women but may still be impacted by the legislation. this is very important!!

it is also not incorrect to say that Roe v Wade is an attack on the political of category of woman, specifically, even though that category does not include everyone impacted by the legislation, and even though some people who are not impacted by the legislation are also in that category.

these things can all be true at the same time.

glib cruelty, denial of other people’s realities, and manipulation does not get anyone anything except I guess Twitter clout. people I agree with use these tools, too. but I will also say that cis women attacking trans women have a great deal more social power than the people they’re attacking. and that’s something I see TERFs just completely unwilling to engage with, even though they’re allegedly interested in material analysis.

p.s. the political category of woman is one of those things that’s extremely fucking complicated to define and that changes over time and context, and that people like to use to deny other people’s realities in cruel and bigoted ways. the way I am using this word is to refer to people who use the word “woman” to describe themselves.

I think some other people who do not use the word “woman” to describe themselves may nonetheless see themselves as belonging to the political category of woman, because of the way they are treated politically and socially, or because of the way they move through the world. this seems fine and good to me; it’s not my job to say who is and isn’t part of this category; I am only here to think about how this social category works in the US’s gender imaginary and how people in that category are treated by the carceral state.

[tomatofights]

transcription:

The girl wrote a story. “But how much better it would be if you wrote a novel,” said her mother. The girl built a dollhouse. “But how much better if it were a real house,” her mother said. The girl made a small pillow for her father. “But wouldn’t a quilt be more practical,” said her mother. The girl dug a small hole in the garden. “But how much better if you dug a large hole,” said her mother. The girl dug a large hole and went to sleep in it. “But how much better if you slept forever,” said her mother. 

“The Mother” by Lydia Davis, from Break It Down: Stories