tommymaddox - Tumblr blog

[tommymaddox]

"Yeah, 'Just Julian'. See, Julian the Emporer was taken." Why did Tommy know this fact? Not a clue, but he did, and therefore he shares it in passing as he settles his dog, giving Julian far from as much attention.

"Mariah Carey frogs?" That gets Tommy's attention. "It's just a vido that's like a bunch of frogs in one. I had a David Attenborough video on before. Oh, man! Black rain frogs are so funny, man, you have to see-" Tommy moves into action, crossing over to his living room where his phone is. Fingers dart across the glass, the light flickering with a changing screen until it's turned for Julian to see. The black rain frog is not the ugliest frog there is, but he is somewhat akin to an angry ballsack if Tommy was to describe it. "Even my worst days aren't as bad as this guys best." Practically snickering at the poor animals appearance, Tommy sends a copy to his sister with 'you in the morning' in a follow up text. "Did you know the smallest frog is like the size of a fly fully grown? They're so small scorpions eat them."

Tommy is reading the back of the boxes as Julian insists they are for him. There's an itch in his brain that starts to build the longer he looks at the activity - it would only be a matter of time before he rips them open to scratch. "You know you've been gone like, what, ten days? You came home with more stuff than you left," he laughs, feeling awfully spoiled right now. It warms his heart when his friends care for Rue as much as he did, but right now it helps balance out the dark clouds (shaped awfully like his ex wife) that had rolled in whilst Julian was away.

"When are you going to let that go?" he laughs. "I was so drunk and your room was right next to mine - everything looked the same by that point. I don't even remember how I got home that night, so we're lucky I slept in any bed." It had at one point been a a running joke in their house that Tommy was like goldilocks, trying all their beds at some point in various drunken states whilst living there. Julian being the last in the house was simply the last to experience it, and probably the happiest to join him whilst the others would complain for the next week about how Tommy was a mess. Valid, but he didn't want to hear it at the time.

˙ ˖ ✶ Tommy

Once upon a time it was Tommy, Julian and other guys all living together. He had been used to the life of a bustling home full of people, but unlike life with his siblings, all his attention fell on Tommy. Julian just gravitated towards the man, his demeanor, his smile, everything had been the picture perfect scenario for him to stop thinking about the heartbreak he had experienced prior. The late night chats, the midnight snacks, the laughter and banter during game night. There wasn't a moment during that period of time where Julian wasn't grateful for Tommy.

"Just Julian, wow, and I thought so highly of myself prior to this," he teased, cooing slightly at Rue as she would always capture his eyes no matter what. Seeing Tommy with her made Julian melt on the spot, the patience and tenderness of their bond, it was truly an amazing sight to behold.

"Frogs, cool. Like the tiny ones that yell like Mariah Carey?" Julian didn't even question the odd hyper fixations, he just carried along as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "Thanks," he hummed grabbing his keys before turning on his heels. The décor of Tommy's abode would never cease to astound him, and how it had this unique charm to it that could draw you in.

"Yes they're for you, I figured you could have fun building them, and if you like them I've got a killer discount for them." he mused, giggling slightly. "Oh you know cause I like you, that's all the occasion that's needed here." A devilish grin played on his features. "I brought some stuff for Rue, a few stuffed animals she could use. I have a llama, a fox, and a surprisingly enough a frog as well." He didn't even remember he had a frog it was just one of those happy accidents. "Me? I'm innocent, and please you've probably had the best nights of sleep cause of me. I remember the time you stole my bed from me, and I'll admit that was my best sleep. You make an amazing pillow."

[tommymaddox]

Tommy follows her path, looking around as he does. Whilst he'd had a glance of the outside before, inside is a new playing field. Dotted around the bare space were elements of Marlow that with time would settle into place, gathering with purpose. "Did you bring the family with you?" he teases, nodding his head to the image of the family already hung by the television. He's left wondering how many will be on display by the end of her move, knowing how important they are to her. "Should I get you a photo of Rue to add in?"

Beside Marlow. Tommy still feels the bite of his nerves in his chest. Giving Marlow something was easy, he loved to surprise her now and then, but giving her something he had made left him holding his breath in anticipation. Whilst she studies the glass before her, he finds comfort in studying her. The flutter in her lashes, the curve to her nose, the lightest freckles all and the softness of lips feel more comforting than he is really understands. "We could probably fix that by Halloween," he teases back, already forming a plan on how to make it happen.

"I've been wanting to do something for you, to show you how I appreciate you. It's only one thing but I wanted you to have something that embodies even a fraction of that." Whether it was triggered from the events or simply something that he should have been doing for a while now, Tommy was glad the gift was well recieved. In fact, as she moves to hug him eagerly gathers her in, pulling her. "That and I'm clueless what you need for a house warming gift. How much stuff did you take from the house? Are your brothers fending off the cold nights with the one blanket you left or are you going on shopping sprees?" A little teasing mixed with genuine curiosity, hoping that Marlow had allowed herself to buy herself some new treats.

"I do. It's your space, that's enough reason to see it. I want to know all your ideas," he asks, without making an attempt to let her go, soaking up her warmth and the fact they hadn't be cuddled up on a couch for a month, which might not be a lot but it was a noticable time. "Might have to move movie night over here, no Rue to steal the couch and no brothers to give me the stink eye when we share a blanket."

Marlow leans into Tommy's embrace, taking the comfort that comes with it. Her brother helped her to moved into the house, but after that first day, she had been on her own. Which was perfect -- she was able to sort through boxes, set things up as she liked them, settle in on her own time. But now, she was happy for the company, especially of her best friend.

Her expression softened at the quiet sentiment he buries into her hair. It had helped to ease some of her concern, how supportive all of her family and everyone else had been about her move. Proving, truly, that the anxiety Marlow had felt, the guilt, was unfounded. "You didn't have to do all that," she said with fond turn to her smile as Tommy revealed the gift. Again, her heart gave a warm shiver at the thought that he had made something just for her.

Gesturing him in, Marlow closed the door behind them and trailed to the couch. Once they were both settled, she pulled at the ribbon and carefully lifted the lid to the box. Her face broke open in something close to reverence when she saw the stained glass piece. "Oh, Tommy, it's gorgeous." Her fingers trailed over the glass delicately, tracing over the different panes of color in the wings. "I don't quite have her wings to match, though," Marlow teased.

Finally pulling her eyes away from the gift, Marlow carefully set the box aside and captured Tommy in a hug. "Thank you. I love it so much. And I really love that you made it for me." Any gift was something to be grateful for, of course, but the fact that Tommy had put so much thought and time and effort into handcrafting the piece meant a lot to Marlow. And she knew just where she would put the little fairy -- her dining area was an open space with a large bay window.

"Do you want the tour?" Marlow asked, wrinkling her nose a little in uncertainty. "I mean, it's not very big and I haven't done much with any of it yet."

[tommymaddox]

On a good day Tommy knows he isn't the most articulate person, but on a bad day he's a practical mess. Right now Garrick was witnessing a strand of thought that could not keep itself together, jumbling words and feelings with the added fuel of liquor in his veins. The quiet had been a gift as he'd strolled along Garrick's path, letting the darkness and privacy of the woods consume him, and gift him a filter between that which troubled him and his own mind. Whilst the open space they'd come upon, with the wind kissing Tommy's cheeks, was a kind gift, an audience was harder to process.

"You just really don't fucking leave do you?" to Tommy the words hold a bite, to anyone else it sounds more like a whine. A plead to be alone, something he never truly wanted yet did to himself whenever things became too much. "Look- I shouldn't have shoved you- I just have a lot going on tonight okay? And I'm drunk, and just everything is going to shit- okay? Okay. Do you really need to stand by and watch me loose it? Is this entertaining for you?"

Why would you want to stay? It feels obvious. Doesn't it? Their budding friendship is one of the few he's had since moving to town. One that isn't born out of convenience or forced from proximity. There's a quiet care for Tommy—with what little he knows about him. Cemented in place by their playful banter and light teasing.

Garrick swallows, taking a cautious step forward and duck his head, searching to meet Tommy's gaze. His brows furrow. Lips working themselves into a frown. Frozen in place with apprehension though his instincts beckoned him to reach out an experimental hand. Looking to gently soothe. But his hands remain at his sides. Heart stinging with the singe of Tommy's words. A desperate burn from his tongue, seeking to smoke Garrick out until he's chased back to the party. "What are you talking about?"

[tommymaddox]

"Old habits." Or simply, he was the fool that would come running when called, for her at least. After all this time he hadn't thought not to come, just wondered why it was him choosen. In the car he'd felt the familiar panic for her wellbeing creep in, like old coding being run for the first time in years: what had happened? what did she need? how could he get it for her? how can he fix it all? Never had he questioned should he, did she deserve it, or what would happen when someone else walked in that door with more rights than he ever since he signed his name next to hers.

She looks different, he thinks as he stands in a place he should not be. It wasn't a stranger in front of him, far from it, but there were elements of her that he no longer had memorised. Outdated maps of her are hidden away, left to rot with holes inside of them. He's sure the lines around her eyes had changed, just a little, and her hair is different again, maybe lighter - or was it darker? He can't tell, can't remember, nor does the poor lighting of the hospital room help.

Tommy's gaze drops to her fathers, his eyes instantly darkening as his jaw flexes. There was no love for the man who laid out wasting the last moments of his life. Tommy feels a lick of glee knowing it was coming to an end, and that he could bring discomfort to him in this limited time. Out of the three of them, Alma's father had never changed. He was a bastard from the day Tommy met him all the way to his deathbed. Whilst he could celebrate what is to come he has long known his feelings did not quite match his ex-wife's on the matter. "I'll handle the mix up. Is there anything else I can do?" he asks, finding it easier to look at the man he hates than the woman he can't ever seem to let go of. At the bare minimum, he was going to have a word or two with whoever called him for putting him in this position in the first place.

Seeing Tommy again, hearing his voice its like...it's so many things all at once. It's like being stabbed in the heart with a thousand blades, like feeling sun on your face after a long winter, like a too cold shadow covering you on a not quite warm enough spring day. It was too much to process, especially with her father laying on what would be his death bed beside her, and Alma felt the urge to just shrink in on herself like she had when she was a child trying to hide from the intense mood swings of both her parents. All the emotion felt like waves crashing into her, trying to drown her. 'Focus on what's real and what's there, don't let yourself get pulled into your head. What do you see?' Advice a teacher had once given her, it had helped back then and maybe it would help now. She focused her gaze on Tommy, he was real and he was here and he looked...good. Not just handsome, he'd always been handsome even at his worst, there was something different about his eyes...they looked present and clear. He looked sober. He looked...he looked like the boy she'd fallen in love with all those years ago, the man she'd married at first. Only Tommy wasn't that boy and she wasn't that girl and- and he'd still come. Still her protector...even after everything.

The womans full mouth open and closed as she tried to find the right words, struggling just as much as he seemed to be on what to say. "No I- I'm fine" Obviously Alma, obviously he could see that see was fine why the hell had she said that? "I mean..." What did she mean? "I'm sorry, I forgot you were still on as my emergency contact...I didn't think..." Didn't think she'd be back here, didn't think it would matter...didn't think she would matter still to him. "I'm sorry, I'll make sure to get that taken care of" A pause, hesitation and then "Thank you though...for being willing to...if something had happened to me...I appreciate it"

[tommymaddox]

I think tub-shower combinations have outgrown their use in this era. Tubs were like the norm back in the day right? So I guess they just added showers to them, until we started realising it wasn't so great to combine them. As soon as my niece is older I'm ripping the tub out, she wont need it. I can get it done, it's not much work really, won't charge you more than what you'll pay online for. Just let me know.

That does sound nice, though. Always wanted one of those wall in showers. I just have the stranded tub/shower situation going on. Not that I mind much, just never used the tub to enjoy it all that well. I’ll let you know if Amazon doesn’t give me a good deal on the racks. If you can’t get it done, then I’m sure I’ll come across a few sales. 

[tommymaddox]

Tommy hadn't always lived alone, in fact, most of his life he hadn't. First with his family, then his wife, and later a bunch of guys when he couldn't afford his own bachelor pad. Once upon a time Tommy was walking in through the door to Julian, rather than opening his own to them.

"Enough Rue," he sings in a sigh, used to the act Rue puts on where she pretends to be a big guard dog but really she's just barking for Tommy to handle the intrusion of her night. "It's just Julian," he reminds her, patting her on her head as he waits for the man to enter. Rue settles into her pet, resting her head against Tommy's thigh, calming almost instantly - something that had taken time to

"Don't stress, we were just watching a video on frogs." If this was someone else you might question why frogs, but if you knew Tommy it was just the next thing in a line of many that he'd fixated on for a moment. By next week it will be something else entirely. "Your keys are on the hook," his hand is waved towards nothing particular - Julian knew what hook he was talking about, the one that was by the door he'd just walked in, right next to the giant martini lamp that sent a pink glow against the brick wall of his entry and kitchen.

"Hmm?" At the mention of presents Tommy's gaze picks up, abandoning its focus on his dog who pads towards the bag that's being riffled through, sniffing as Rue dicovered all the smells it had picked up along it's travel. "Oh, wait these are for me?" Tommy collects the boxes, turning them over to inspect. He couldn't remember the last time he'd done anything lego, let alone a kit like this. "These are cool, thanks. What's the occasion?" Had he forgotten something? That wasn't a hard stretch with his brain, plus he'd been distracted this week. "Games? Now that's dangerous," Tommy points a finger at Julian, box still in hand, "I have not forgotten the days of no sleep because of you."

@tommymaddox

Julian smiled the second he had set foot in Maine, even the air kissed his skin different now that he was here. There was a difference in pace of his stride, a little glee in his step as he made his way towards his friends home. The thought of him was enough to make Julian's breath hitch as he remembered the solace Tommy had provided, the warmth and comfort that he had only ever known with his family.

Maybe it was a rebound crush, his eyes immediately jumping onto the next attractive man they could find. But it having lasted this long, still feeling the pitter patter of his own heart falter at hearing his voice, he couldn't help but wonder why it lingered. Walking up to the front, he had texted the man as he was nearing his place, needing the keys to his own.

"Hi Tommy, sorry I got here so late my flight was delayed two times so I wasn't expecting to get here at this time. I'll get my keys and go...oh before I do I brought you something. Well two somethings actually." Julian mused as he brought out the contents in his backpack. "So these are two lego sets, and I just thought of you when I saw them, one is a small bonsai cherry blossom tree, and the other is a hyacinth."

"I know it might be a little silly, but I just wanted you to have them, and I might've also brought over some new games for us to play."

[tommymaddox]

It does not occur to Tommy in the time that Garrick has led him to privacy that Garrick would stick around and be confused that Tommy simply expected he wouldn't want to stick around. The quiet 'what' that escaped Garrick makes Tommy flinch with an more confused look on his face, like the other had done something unexplainable like bathe in mustard. In Tommy's space no one belonged, especially Garrick - the newest of them all. But then again, if he was going to blow up on someone and then have an audience over it, at least it wasn't those that already judged him. "Why would you want to stay?" he finally voices the bewildering thought when Garrick questions him. No he wasn't sure, Tommy felt like he was in a whole other reality right now. "Everyone should just fucking stay away from me because all I do is make a mess."

Garrick assesses Tommy, gaze tracking over every edge and harsh curve of his body, his face. Shadows played on his cheekbone and the ridge of his brow. Blue eyes slightly unfocused, pupils wider in the dark, away from the dangling lights and decorative lanterns. His shoulders are tense, still, despite the distance from the general public. Muscles tight beneath his black shirt. Material clinging to the planes of his chest and biceps. Though his fists are no longer grabbing at the lapel of Garrick’s jacket, he couldn’t help but keep his guard up halfway. Only to be certain.

Garrick lets out a quiet and confused “what?” Eyes narrow at Tommy, suspicion settling into the gentle lines on his face. Tommy’s body language immediately shifts, closing Garrick off, shoving him away to trail back into the woods and melt into the black night. “I—I don’t know. Are you sure?”

[tommymaddox]

Tommy only took two wrong turns on his way to Marlow's new house; the town was all too familiar to really get lost in but certainly not memorised enough to go somewhere new without an accidental detour. Thankfully he had some guidance to the house in question, Marlow having previously pointed it out as one she hoped for, so there was no need to check mailbox numbers as he rolled down the road or seek his phone maps.

'Delighted' doesn't do justice in describing the happiness that washes over him when Marlow greets him with a declaration of her ownership. "Now I could I get used to hearing that," he playfully returns, dimples doing their best work as his smile takes over his face. With one hand he wraps Marlow up, squeezing her with a kiss pressed to her temple, the other remains resting behind his back holding a flat box, no bigger than an A4 piece of paper, with a red ribbon holding it together. "I'm so happy for you Marls," he breathes into her hair, releasing her a moment later to hold the box out before her. "I made you something. Go on, open it. Hopefully you have a place for it, and it doesn't clash with any interior design ideas you have planned." He hovers, watching her as he rambles a bit out of nerves. He had never made a piece like it, let alone put so much thought into the meaning behind it, the care her had for its owner. "I started making her before I knew about the house, and she finished up right on time for this as if it was fate. When it all came together I realised... I think I just made a mini you."

who: marlow & @tommymaddox where: the new townhouse when: early september

Day Three of having her own place and Marlow had impressed even herself with how much she had gotten done. There were still plenty of boxes to unpack -- mostly things for her room and the office space. Not to mention the more extranious tasks, like painting the walls and finding smaller decor items. A number of photos that needed to be framed and hung or distributed across various surfaces.

But, all of the basics were more or less together. The living room had a couch and a television, the spare room had a desk and mismatched book shelves, and the kitchen was stocked with all the necessities. Only the dining room, over the counter from the kitchen, was less than presentable, with a temporary table and chairs. Marlow didn't think there was anypoint in getting a whole new table, though, when she Cage was going to be putting together something custom.

With Tommy coming over that evening, Marlow wanted the place to be functional, if not totally together. Dinner and helping to unpack was ostensibly why he was coming but she hopedthey might finally discuss what happened more than a month ago. It was clear they couldn't keep pushing it down, ignoring it. Not if they wanted their friendship to survive.

Marlow was eager to be on the other side of the conversation, but terribly nervous about it. So when the doorbell rang, she leapt up and skittered toward the front door. But she had a smile for Tommy when she opened the door, waving him in. "Welcome to my home."

[tommymaddox]

[tommymaddox]

"You are." There's a simple truth to the way Tommy says it, like a confession he'd been holding on for all too long breathed out for Vitus to finally hear, all without an ounce of alcohol to motivate him. Not used to high praise for his attire he looks down at the shirt he'd settled on, feeling a zap to his confidence as he's admired by them. "Well, now I'm going to have to wear a button up shirt more often."

This isn't how a first date is supposed to start, but have Vitus and Tommy ever done something that way it's supposed to be? Vitus had been forced to navigate a labyrinth that even Tommy couldn't navigate, and it was of his own making. If Tommy had come to Vitus with his walls where they rested now, down and prepared to be reshaped, maybe they'd be out the door already, or this date would be their third or forth by now. Instead, they sat here trying to work out where they were starting from.

It's not easy to hear what Vitus says, it certainly pushes down some of the confidence Tommy had arrived with and brings forth the anxiety that this could be his only chance. Tommy thought he had been doing better these couple of weeks since they'd started sleeping together, though he'd shown Vitus more but maybe that had been diluted by the physical they'd been endulging in. "V... I'm so sorry. No no- shh, you don't have to apologise for that." His hand lays out over the table, palm up exposed to take, trying to bridge some of the space that was growing between them. "You're right, it's not easy but... I never ever wanted you to feel that way." The guilt takes a bite at his chest. "You shouldn't feel that way because I'm... dealing with my own problems, and you shouldn't feel like you can't tell me this without apologising. There is nothing you have to do. I thought it was something just naturally happening for both of us. If... if this," he gestures between them "is hurting you then i'm not okay with it. If... this is all just one sided," the red at the top of his ears burns with an embarrassment "you don't have to go on this date and... we'll work it out, yeah? Tell me what you need."

"God, I know, I'm just so gorgeous all the time," Vitus says, letting out a loose sigh like the subject of his beauty is as old as time itself. It might be a loaded evening, but he'll be damned if he doesn't get at least a few quips in while they're at it. Sobering, he adds, "Only one shirt—a dark blue one. But I kind of... swapped it back and forth and back and forth, over and over again, till I decided." He wonders, idly, how much time Tommy spent on his own get-up. With a soft smile, he nods at Tommy's shirt in equal appreciation. "Aside from the gala, I don't think I've ever seen you in an outfit like that. It looks good on you."

"It's not that I was waiting for you to move faster. It's just—" Anxiety clenches a fist around Vitus's throat. He swallows and rubs his jaw, debates how much to say. But the truth is already sitting there, poised and ready, on the base of his tongue. He can't go on this date, can't let Tommy embark on this personal mission, without filling him in on the reasons why they ended up in the hall outside yesterday in the first place. Tangled in one of the most baffling miscommunications they've ever had together.

"I know how you feel about me. I know how much you like me." Vitus drops his eyes to his hands while he talks, if only because he's afraid of how Tommy's face might twist as he adds, "But, Tommy, I feel like I don't know you, most days. It feels like you only really let me see you when we're drunk or in bed together. And that—" It isn't enough cover, to just stare down at his hands. Vitus lifts one to his face and worries over his forehead, half-hiding. "Connecting, physically—it's nice. I like doing that with you. But if it's only that, it makes it hard for me to... makes me feel like... like I'm just an escort. Providing a service to a man who needs it." And then, in a rush, stumbling over panic: "I'm sorry. I don't mean to—I know all of this hasn't come easy to you and you're trying your best. I know that. I just—it felt like lying, to keep that to myself."

[tommymaddox]

TW; mentions of past abuse (physical), mentions of death, mentions of medical issues and machinery, alcoholism

No ones favourite place is the hospital - not with its ever present smell of detergent and lingering death. The repeated white hallways that look the same with every turn offer no comfort to those that walk it, searching for the right door to be comforted by what they found behind it, or destroyed completely. This is not how Tommy thought his day was going to pan out; his boots were not suppose to squeak against the vinyl flooring as he narrowly avoids collision with a bed on wheels charging to an unknown destination, one that either way wouldn't be used if that person was having a good day. There was the one exception, but Tommy wont think about the ward he'll never walk into, not today, not with her inside these walls.

The call had come at a jobsite. As one tool was put down and Tommy reached for the next, a songbird of death sang in the form of a default ringtone, lighting up the screen of it's unprepared victim. If one had been watching Tommy in the moment they would see the cheerful greeting as his last moment of peace, watch as it disolved like cotton candy exposed to a monsoon as the nurse on the other end all too eagerly informs him of his ex-wives appearance in town, of her health deteriation and her limited time. A fog settles in as the call beeps to alert it's over. He sat there trying to clear it, bewildered and in shock all at once. Had he just stepped into the Twilight Zone? An alternative universe where time had been rewitten? Nothing in that call had made sense, from the slip of Mrs Maddox to the fact that she didn't live here any more. Denial settled in, thinking someone was pulling his leg with a unfunny prank. Doubt paired with it as he typed into Google the number he'd recieved the call from, just to be sure. Dread returned with the right detail,erasing ideas of old friends with bad humour.

Work was left unfinished with a promise of fixing it tomorrow. Tommy's jeep is left parked awfully in the lot outside deaths hotel, he's unsure how he managed to get here with no memory of even buckling in or pausing at any red lights. Boots fall heavy until the destination comes into view, a room number the nurse had read out to him, one that every step closer to he slowed. Tommy didn't want to walk in there, yet he'd come all this way without a thought not to. If he turned around now he could escape. As he pauses, his feet ready to retreat, her voice slips into the hallway with him, wrapping itself around him. I'll be there when you wake up. Tommy's skin crawls under the worlds spoken to someone else, ones that once upon a time would have belonged to him. It occurs to him now that she might not be alone, that there was one other person who could return as a ghost to haunt him standing inside that room. With a held breath he waits, readying for his retreat once it's confirmed, but Liam's voice does not carry out as her's had. In fact her's continues, sickenly sweet with promises of a reunion despite what Tommy knows is limited time. Either she is on the phone or far more lost to this reality than the nurses had elaborated on the phone; Tommy's feet could not carry him away without knowing. What if she was truly alone? He'd never want that for her, not in these final days.

Squaring his shoulders, Tommy steps into the doorway readying to announce himself. Just as he thinks he knows what he's going to find, Tommy is once again left in a state of confusion at what awaits him. Alma is in fact in Merrock, in this hospital room, but there she sits in what seems like perfect health, phone to ear as she professes her love to Liam like he hadn't been living in Merrock's outskirts for years without her. Or was it someone else she loved now? Giving her heart away far easier than Tommy ever could again. Whilst his eyes could linger on her for hours, just to drink in the sight of her beauty, he can't stop himself from staring at the man in the bed. A new emotion slipped between confusion and pain, of clouds left behind by hurricane Alma. Glee. The bastard in the bed did not look well, in fact Tommy could see him racing to the end as his monitors record his hurried beats. If there was a higher power he's pretty sure they were giving him a gift, regardless of the pain that came along with it. He stares the old man down, eyes and jaw hard though if one looked hard enough they might see a little Tommy dancing in his eyes.

They'd spent a decade together and yet hearing his name in her voice again feels strange. No dream, or nightmare, could get it right. There was always something off about it, like it'd been recorded in the worst moments and he was refuses access to any better versions. "They-" he has to clear his throat, his mouth suddenly dry as he comes to the part where she is all too real, no longer an idea that haunts him. Anxiety had slipped in behind the glee, filling in the space around his pumping heart, dancing along with all the emotions that Tommy did not have skills to deal with. "The hospital called. They said-" he pauses, looking back to Alma's father. A stray hand waves in the man's direction "that it was you." So he'd come, even though he'd been single for a decade, and she'd been promising a quick return to whoever she loved just a moment before. "They said you were sick."

@tommymaddox

TW; mentions of past abuse (physical), mentions of death, mentions of medical issues and machinery, alcoholism

The steady beep, beep, beep of the machine was steadily beginning to drive Alma crazy, it was a bit messed up really. Sat there at the bedside of her dying fathers hospital bed and all she could think about was how annoying the thing monitoring his heart rate sounded, was it the noise she was annoyed at or the fact that when she'd entered the room there had been no change to it? No quickening of pace, no difference. Like her presence didn't even matter to him or, somehow worse, like her showing up hadn't been a surprise, like he knew the whole time that she'd come running back to be by his side...bastard. Only she had hadn't she? And for what? He couldn't talk to her due to the breathing tube shoved down his throat, what would he have even said? Maybe it was better this way. Maybe she secretly got a kind of fucked up joy watching him struggle to breathe, just like she had all those years in that house....maybe it was more complicated than even all that. Her father hadn't cried at her mothers funeral, that's what had come into Almas head after she got off the phone with the hospital. He hadn't cried at her mothers funeral and she wouldn't cry at his, a promise to a ghost that probably didn't care about all that anymore. The woman had been studying her fathers eyes, which were unnervingly enough also her and Teo's eyes, since she'd come in the room, a sort of silent staring competition that was only broken up when a nurse would come in to check on him. She could tell that some of them were unnerved by just how calm she seemed, sitting cross legged in a chair next to her dying father and not even a mist in her eye. Then there were the older nurses and Doctors, the ones who had been there all those years ago for all those ER visits because one of the Cardozo ladies had walked into a door again or fell or whatever other excuse they used, they seemed to be content to let her be as she was.

Alma was brought out of her musings by the distant ring of a cellphone, it took a moment for her to realize that the ringing was apparently not so distant as her mind was. She rooted through the pockets of the oversized grey hoodie she had thrown over her tank top before heading here and pulled out her phone, she hit accept without checking who it was. Thankfully it was only Liam "So...how are you holding up? "I'm fine" Her reply is immediate, quick. A lie that she doesn't even have to think about. There's silence on the other end of the phone, the silence isn't uncomfortable but patient as he always is. "I mean I don't...I don't know its-" "complicated" she nods as he finishes her sentence even though she knows he can't see her, he doesn't need to. He knows. The familiarity is a comfort, he's always been that for her. An oasis, a calm island in the middle of a stormy sea. "How's Teo doing?" "Do you want to talk to him?" "What do you mean talk to him? He should be in bed!" "I'm working on it, he's a bit hyped up after all the excitement with this last minute sleepover" in the background she could hear her boy saying something that sounded like 'best surprise ever' and she shook her head as moved to rest it on one hand "Put him on please" "Mama when are you gonna be back?" "I don't know baby...but I'll be there when you wake up" Alma could practically hear the pout through the phone "So if I go to bed now..." "You'll get to see me that much sooner" There was silence on the other end of the phone, weighing his options. In the distance she heard hurried footsteps, a loved one rushing to get to their persons room perhaps. "Okay fine..." She was too busy chuckling at the overexaggerated way in which Teo had sighed to realize that the footsteps were now less hurried and a lot closer.

She was brought back to the present by the sound of her fathers EKG machine suddenly increasing like he was panicked, when she looked back at him he was no longer staring at her instead his gaze was fixed on the doorway. Curious to see what had prompted such a reaction she turned her own emerald gaze to the door. Her breath caught, she could feel her heart either skip a beat or stop entirely she wasn't too sure. What she was sure of was standing in the doorway was the last person she'd ever expect to see. Alma's mouth opened and closed, her eyes widened "What's that noise?" The phone, she was still on the phone. "It's nothing baby. I love you, I'll see you in the morning" the brunette waited until she heard those words repeated back and then ended the call. Her fathers heart still beat out of control, she didn't take her eyes from the man at the door even as she reached out a hand and rested it on her fathers arm. It was a response she'd learned when she'd been a child, it was her job to soothe, to fix.

"Tommy...?" her voice was soft, confused. Almost as if she was questioning not why he was there but if he was even really there or if, in the emotional complexity of the situation, she'd just lost it completely. "What are you doing here?"

[tommymaddox]

You're really not painting a good picture of these supposed individuals, first they're enthusiastic about Halloween and now they'll come after me. Concerning. Mm not really. I might thrown on the occasional horn but that's all you're getting out of me. Typically I do that for a friend if they want me to dress up that badly. Kind of grew out of that stuff in my 20s you know?

Alright, don’t believe me, but when they come after you… don’t say that I didn’t warn you. They’re out there. Ah, see, I never could get into that show. I’ll take your word for it, though. Honestly? I have no clue. I usually dress up for Halloween, and I tend to wear the same old thing every year. Trying to mix it up for once. You don’t dress up? 

[tommymaddox]

Functioning bathroom is the vision. The one downstairs is not my favourite thing in the world. I thought I'd put a bath in for my niece but it's not a big room... so I now have a bath shower combination that does not have me-size room. So, my bathroom will have a big-ass walk in shower. Honestly that's all I've wanted for the last two years of climbing into the bath to have a shower. Look, if you can't find a rack give me a call. I can put something together that wont cost you much. That, or you could do that clean out you mentioned.

A bathroom build sounds like quite the project, so that makes sense as to why you took your time with it. Do you have a vision of how you want it to look? Or are you still trying to get that part figured out? That’s not a bad idea. Don’t believe I’ve ever owned a coat rack, so I’ll try to look for one now. Thanks for the tip! Here I was ready to wait until the last second until I was freezing each time I went outside. 

[tommymaddox]

I feel like there was this decade where good music was in movies, a whole soundtrack worth of it. And then there was always one really good song that became the movie identity - like that one song Smash Mouth sang that is just tied to Shrek forever? Can you think of a movie recently that has the same link to a song?

Oh my gosh I haven't heart that song in a while, it feels like forever since I last heard that song. Well to be honest Shrek is my favourite movie so it would have a personal memory to me and I think it can be personal memory.

[tommymaddox]

Tommy's chuckle is laced with a wheeze, as if his body wasn't prepared to let out such a sound. "Of course, how else am I going to process everything your brother has told me? The horrors he's put in this brain?" His hand rests over his chest, brows pulling together as he puts on his best acting skills - that as good as his five year old neice's. A lazy smile falls upon his lips as they talk, finding things always easy with her to flow back and forth. "Yes I did Oh-Liv-E-UH," he over pronounces her name after hearing his own, bumping her with his shoulder to punchuate the 'uh'. "Throwing snowballs at some girl named, Olivia?" He adds on the end of her list, cheekier than ever.

"No, and if I do, I hang up on them," she replied without missing a beat, a sweet smile spreading across her face. After all, she could tease right back if he was going to toss something her way. "But alright, I'm trusting you… although does letting me sleep in mean that you're going to show up at my door step the next morning, needing to talk through scary ghost story nightmares?" but she smiled as she asked it, bumping into his side gently from where they were standing. He was probably right about having a saint for everyone and everything -- it seemed to be the way of it. Have something that needed protected, needed a face put to it, needed someone to pray to? Toss sainthood at it. She wasn't one to judge. Religion was something she tried not to think too much about. "Did you just full first name me, Thomas?" both brows raised as she gave him his name right back, and then laughed. "I'm just saying! I don't think you'd argue with me," he could be some sort of influence on people, anyway, good or bad. "Oh yeah, you've basically been soaking up the sun instead of the snowflakes, huh? That means you'll get to do all the fun stuff this year -- sledding, skating, building snowmen!"

[tommymaddox]

A middle finger is given instead of a celebratory high-five. "You can kindly go fuck yourself," he playfully hits back, more love in that line than half the things people say to their dearest and nearest. His hand raises smoothly up into his hair as he, once again. pushes it back off his forehead, demanding the curls to feel less like a wet mop.

"I walk my dog every day, and sometimes I go for runs too." Okay, once a year didn't count as sometimes but no one had to know that. "Plus sex is much better cardio, why the fuck would I go to a gym to get the ticker running when I can call Val up and have much more fun?" The distaste for running was coming out the more he thought about it, his nose scrunching over the topic.

Tommy exhales a huff as he looks out over the crowd, hands settling on his hips. Blue eyes scan until they locate lines leading to the food, hot bodies baking under the sun as he does now but all one step closer to the reward. There's a growl in his stomach, demanding more than ancohol on their quest. "Now where the hell are these tiki drinks you're talking about? They better be good or I'm making you clock on at Anchors."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, T," Landon tossed back, raising a hand to give the other man a high-five. The fisherman had always been competitive, a trait that lay in sharp contrast to his quiet, content father. Part of him always wondered if it was a trait he inherited from his mother, but despite how much his dad spoke of the woman who brought Landon into this world, there was still so many pieces missing that he would never recover.

"I told you skipping the treadmill at the gym would come back to bite you." He lightly admonished his friend, hopping around on the balls of his feet still. A lot of his workouts he got from being on the boat most mornings, but when he did go to the gym it was typically things that got his heartrate up. "You held your own, too, pal. I'm proud of ya. Even more proud now that I get drinks and bragging rights."

[tommymaddox]

“You could have thrown on an old shirt and sweats and I’d still think you look beautiful… but I admit, hearing you spent an hour dressing up for me…” he trails off as he openly admires again, leaving a lingering air of possessiveness. It doesn’t matter that yesterday Vitus had lined his eyes for another man, because today he did it for Tommy. He took an hour picking things for Tommy to see, to admire, to feel good about around him. “How many shirts did you swap?” he playfully asks, having tossed several of his own in his process of getting ready. Rue had been his judge, giving him useless advice on which colour Vitus might like in the form of a head tilt or confused brow. She didn’t quite get her fathers questions, but Tommy found the answers he needed, eventually landing on his current outfit.

“I admit… when you said you’d been waiting on me… it panicked me a bit,” Tommy starts slowly, the memory flooding back into his mind.His long lashes fan against his cheek as he looks down, turning a ring on one of his pointer fingers, reminding himself that he didn’t need to start panicking again. He just needed to talk.  “It’s not that I want to keep you waiting… or that I even realised you had been for so long before… It’s just I’ve been stuck in one place for a very long time… not just about men but… about caring for anyone new. So with the steps I do take I’m processing it before the next… and having sex with you wasn’t the final step it just was… I was happy. The thing that… that did motivate me, that isn’t stupid or something I can just disregard? You couldn’t answer that you knew how I felt about you…. Because I’ve never told you. I thought you knew from how I acted… but that isn’t how it works… and that upset me knowing you don’t know… so tonight I want to fix that.”

Vitus's face twists down ever so subtly at Tommy's mention of hurting Marlow. He wants to ask, on instinct, what else has been happening between them. But that isn't his space to intrude upon, no matter how much he wishes them both healing. It never was. He lets his expression speak for itself, holds onto anything he might have said aloud.

Tommy goes on about denial and jealousy and sexuality, and for another beat, Vitus doesn't speak. He just soaks it all in. He's been latching onto small pieces of Tommy for months now, scrambling to figure out their exact shapes and contours so he might assemble a proper picture of the man sitting before him. This is the first time since the night Tommy confessed his attraction to Vitus that he's told him much of anything. Vitus gathers each new bit of information and files it away for safekeeping.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. I spent an hour getting ready, y'know. And it looks like you did too. I'd be a fool to squander that," Vitus says, trying to bring some levity back to their conversation, if only to ease the pressure that's clearly sitting over Tommy's chest. But his gentle tease clatters across the table and falls to the floor as he goes on, "I'd love to hear it—whatever you feel comfortable telling me. I just..." Vitus rubs at his mouth, his jaw, searching for the right words. At last he puffs his cheeks out in a sigh. "I'm... worried, I guess. That you're telling me all this because I made that stupid fucking comment yesterday, about waiting for you. I really wasn't trying to rush you or anything like that. So if you tell me anything else today, I want you to do it because you feel ready to. Not because you feel like you have to."