totallynotagentphilcoulson - Tumblr blog

[totallynotagentphilcoulson]

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

[totallynotagentphilcoulson]

“Just saw a cartoon depicting student protestors as being pro-Hamas while wearing a Hitler mustache.

That made me curious how student demonstrators in the 1960s were depicted in editorial cartoons.

🧵Thread”

[totallynotagentphilcoulson]

My mom went to high school with this guy and showed me this Facebook post of his and if I were not already happily married……………..

[totallynotagentphilcoulson]

[totallynotagentphilcoulson]

so i got the enclave radio mod for kicks and as much as i love it, all i can picture is courier six just like jamming out to like the saints go marching on or some shit and arcade just having trauma flashbacks in the background but unable to say anything lest he reveal his secret identity.

like the courier turns to arcade like "isnt this one such a banger? also what's america?"

meanwhile arcade is like in a 1000 yard stare thinking about the tragic cost of his comfortable upbringing

Eventually the courier realizes something's up and she thinks he just really hates this kind of music and turns radio new vegas back on.

[totallynotagentphilcoulson]

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The Nose Fairy

[totallynotagentphilcoulson]

a wikipedia poem on software entropy

[totallynotagentphilcoulson]

The closest living relative to elowey, most commonly called variants on 'wildmen' and 'dogmen' (the Nekh term is 'hutsmet', a play on 'wildmen' more literally meaning 'woodsmen'). This is a dominant female in estrus, marked with a dense mane, large cuspids, and red anogenital swelling. Males are slightly larger, but sleeker in build and lacking manes.

They are quite different from proto-elowey, being stockier, wholly quadrupedal and near exclusively terrestrial (only incidentally climbing trees), and having a more carnivorous diet. They are opportunistic omnivores, mostly eating plant matter, small animals, and scavenged carcasses, but occasionally tackling large prey through cooperative hunting. They are also less intensely territorial than proto-elowey (who were heavily reliant on fruiting trees and would establish firm territorial boundaries to monopolize access), and the edges of territories will often overlap with minimal conflict outside of times of starvation.

Like proto-elowey (and most lemuroids) hutsmet exhibit a female dominated social structure. Groups of (mostly related) females form the core territorial unit, with a dominant matriarch directing most activities. Unlike elowey, the dominant female does not monopolize breeding, and all adult females in a band reproduce and cooperatively rear young. Females mostly stay in the home range of their birth and maintain territorial boundaries, while males disperse and form all-male bands that travel between multiple territories for breeding and feeding.

It is rare for modern hutsmet populations to coexist with elowey, as they are often in competition for resources. Hutsmet are also occasionally known to eat elowey children, and even mob and kill adults, and as such are often hunted to local extinction when their presence is known. Few elowey cultures have positive outlooks on these animals, with their uncanny resemblance and 'cannibalistic' qualities often seen as uniquely unsettling. They are often antagonistic figures in mythology and folklore, imagined as a sort of hostile fae-folk that lure travellers off trails with vocal mimicry and kidnap young elowey men for reproductive purposes.

They also share native ranges with some human and qilik peoples, who don't experience the same psychological disturbance but still tend towards having hostile relations- hutsmet will opportunistically prey on adult qilik, and antagonize humans primarily by taking livestock and destroying crops.

[totallynotagentphilcoulson]

THE WALKING DEAD: THE ONES WHO LIVE | Episode 4 — "What We"

[totallynotagentphilcoulson]

INTRO TO THE SOPHONTS

There are eight distinct sophont genuses and/or species in the known world of the blightseed setting. above are examples of each to show overall difference in anatomy and size.

note- terms like 'genus' 'species' 'subspecies' have no meaning in-universe, and do not necessarily have a role in the formation of cultural groups and identity.

Yotici

Yotici are large marine grazers. Their place on the tree of life is an offshoot of very early fish, all of whos modern representatives live in alternating generations, with a sessile asexual stage that resembles a plant, and a long-living reproductive phase (shown here).

The sessile phase appears in the form of 'gardens' that grow from a seabed where eggs were lain. The reproductive phase begins when tiny yotici (yotlings) develop and emerge en-masse. Yotici do not actively protect yotlings until they begin to speak, and many will die within their first year. (though they provide passive protection by allowing their yotlings to school around them, and through the shielded garden environment)

Their sessile young, however, are closely guarded. Yotici are ecosystem engineers that modify their environments to protect their gardens. They build enclosed and controllable environments with coral, rocks, mangroves, shipwrecks, etc, in shallow waters. They manipulate their environment via their 'tentacles' (actually highly modified genitalia, very dextrous and present regardless of sex).

They have likely domesticated more species than any other sophont, both as an unintentional byproduct of their ecosystem engineering and through intentional breeding. Their most important domestic animal is the garden shark, a species of bullhead kept to protect their sessile young from predation by invertebrates and other small animals.

They primarily eat sea grasses, certain corals, kelp, and occasionally shellfish, crustaceans, and other small animals. They require large, healthy expanses of seagrass to be sustained, and will readily kill or drive away competition. They also take an aggressive stance towards predation, generally being highly aggressive until predators recognize them as a threat leave them alone. This includes encroaching landdwellers- yotici territories utilized by land dwellers are often sites of conflict. Peaceful coexistence in the same waters requires the creation and maintenance of treaties and pacts, historically rare due to difficulties in interspecies communication.

They have aesthetic sensibilities, and may decorate themselves by allowing barnacle growth, or via scarification. 

Yotici exhibit no sexual dimorphism and near-ubiquitously do not construct gender. Their genitalia-arms no longer have a sexual function, and they reproduce via group spawning.

The most basic social unit of the yotici is the pod, related individuals who hatched in the same garden and maintain it throughout their lives.

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Human

Humans are upright bipedal apes. They are notable among midsized mammals for lacking protective fur, making them vulnerable to both sun exposure and the cold.

There is only one species of human, sole survivors of a once broad family of upright apes. Humans came into behavioral modernity as mobile plains dwelling hunter-gatherers- a highly efficient mode of living utilized to the present day. They are omnivores, capable of adapting to a wide variety of diets and thus a great variety of environments.

The first humans likely developed south of the now inhospitable equatorial Deadlands. Known contemporary populations exist mostly within the eastern and northern parts of the supercontinent.

Humans exhibit modest sexual dimorphism, less pronounced than other apes but with some unique display features such as permanent breasts and bright lips. They can reproduce year-round, and typically bear one child at a time. Childbirth is very dangerous, and many young and mothers die in the process. Their young are completely helpless, and may take over a year to even begin to walk.

The most common basic human social unit is composed of reproductive pairs and their families, though there is tremendous variety in how they form groups.

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Elowey:

Elowey are primates, most closely related to lemurs. They average around the same height as humans, but are heavier. They are capable of both bipedal and quadrupedal locomotion.

Two relatively distinct subspecies of elowey are known to survive, though with significant gene flow between the two. Southern elowey (pictured here) are larger on average with bigger guts and more exposed skin, and northern elowey are smaller, with denser fur and slight aquatic adaptations.

Elowey are omnivores, but better adapted towards plant eating. Southern elowey can subsist entirely on plants and digest much tougher plant material than humans with their large guts. Northern elowey rely more heavily on meat, especially during the winter months. The gene for lactase persistence is widely found in northern elowey and largely absent in southern populations.

Elowey have a strong sense of smell. They have two sets of scent glands, which at their most basic communicate territoriality and identity, but the social implications are far broader. 

They come from highly territorial ancestors, and most individuals become stressed and uncomfortable when living in dense populations with unrelated elowey. This discomfort is lessened towards members of other species, though they are still prone to social claustrophobia.

Elowey lack significant sexual dimorphism, with nonreproductive females being indistinguishable from males (aside from genitalia, which is brightly colored in males). Reproductive females go through a pronounced estrus, and hormones from pregnancy induce permanent bodily changes, mostly in the form of longer fur and greater muscle mass.

The most basic social unit of elowey is a reproductive pair, their young, and nonreproductive siblings/family. Typical families only have one reproductive pair at a time, and the presence of a reproductive female actually suppresses the fertility of other females. They give birth to 1-2 young at a time, which are helpless for a couple months until they begin to walk. 

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Caelin and Delkhin:

Caelin and Delkhin are two closely related drakes (pterosauroids of this setting), with locomotive forelimbs (wings) and manipulative hind limbs.

Both are obligate carnivores who supplement their diets only occasionally with plant matter, and as such large populations can only be supported by ecosystems with massive herds, or intensive animal agriculture. Both have ancestors who scavenged on the dead, with active hunting being a byproduct/driving factor of sapience.

Males develop large, colorful wattles, and all possess the ability to create booming songs with their gular sacks (though the calls of males average louder). Females are typically smaller than males in both species, and have dull coloration

The two are closely related enough to produce young, but their eggs are often inviable and the young are rarely fertile. In spite of this, there is frequent gene flow between the two and hybrids are relatively common.

The sex of offspring in both species is determined by incubation temperature, with profound societal implications- often sons are intentionally limited.

The pre-sophont ancestors of both reproduced in lek based mating systems, which remains an influence on modern social behavior. The basic social unit of both caelin and delkhin societies is the lek, typically one (sometimes more) breeding males, several females, and their offspring. 

Caelin:

Caelin are about the size of egrets, and capable of powered flight. Their ancestors followed herds of bison, aurox, horses, and khait to scavenge on the dead and dying, which developed into more active management and domestication.

There are a few subspecies of caelin, though most are indistinct from one another (aside from the very small polar caelin).

Caelin are the most widespread sophont of all, having settled anywhere in the world that could support them, though the areas with highest populations are the great steppes of the west. There are few populations historically existing in human-dominated areas, as they tend to compete for food resources.

They are capable of a unique mode of subsistence, scavenger nomadism. Scavenger-nomads fly from place to place seeking dead or dying animals as food sources.

Delkhin

Delkhin are flightless and significantly larger than caelin, standing between 3-5ft in height and weighing several times as much as their relatives. They possess a small horn jutting from the back of the skull, larger and colorful in males.

There are few populations of delkhin outside of Cynozepal and the western grasslands. Their reliance on meat and relatively large size keeps their populations at a low density with great difficulty adjusting to other regions.

Delkhin have notched beaks and strong necks that allow manipulation of larger and heavier objects, and their 'hands' are deft at handling smaller ones.

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Qilik

Qilik are roughly turkey sized protobirds. Their ancestors glided, but modern qilik have lost much of their gliding ability as their wings were re-repurposed for manipulation. Their hands have two mobile fingers and one mostly immobile claw.

Qilik would be considered a genus rather than species. There are several species + subspecies of qilik, with the most distinct species being the plains qilik (which are larger, with long thin tails and smaller wings) and the forest qilik (which are smaller, with fans on their tails, broader wings, and are better climbers). More isolated populations have more derived features, such as the small and nocturnal cave dwelling qilik of the deadlands. All are interfertile with significant gene flow between most.

Qilik are omnivores and primarily insectivorous. Their ability to survive on insects makes them one of the least competitive for resources with other sophonts, and as such qilik populations commonly overlap with others and may be indigenous to the same areas.

Most populations are native to forested regions with a high density of insects.  Those who have taken up animal husbandry spread to the plains and eat a more meat-based diet.

Qilik have sexual trimorphism - large, dull colored females, smaller, brightly colored males, and larger, dull colored 'feminine' males (faeder).

Mating occurs seasonally, and most individuals lack any significant sex drive out of season. Hens typically mate with multiple males and mating pairs do not form permanent bonds.

The most common social unit is same-gender (or hen/faeder) flocks which are interdependent but live primarily homosocial lives, with hens/faeder doing most work while groups of males care for children. Their social systems are highly plastic, however, and great variety exists.

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Talking crows

Talking crows are crows. They produce language and have complex societies, and can intelligently communicate with other sophonts via mimicry. They may give the impression of being child-like or 'animalistic' to other sophonts, as they struggle with large numbers and certain abstract concepts (and live overall similarly to their non-sophont corvid relatives) but excel beyond any other at cognitive mapping, memory, and navigation.

They do not differ significantly in anatomy from other crows, though notched beaks and flexible feet allow for more deft manipulation of tools. Because of their appearance and relative isolation from other sophonts, they are often interpreted as supernatural beings or 'talking animals'.

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Archin

Archin are sapient ant colonies. The only known extant population of the species occurs in the Red Rock Archipelago far southeast in the world-sea, and has been isolated from other sophonts for the majority of its history.

Rather than an individual animal, archin consciousness and personhood exists in the collective. Archin consciousness is an emergent property of colonies, with individuals being somewhat akin to cells composing a brain. 

They are not a hivemind in any literal sense, rather they use the same methods of chemical and touch communication as most other eusocial insects (only highly specialized and with enough plasticity to communicate abstract concepts and understand language).

A single archin has more complex cognitive ability than most ants, and most vertebrates for that matter (better memory, complex motor skills, problem solving) and fully functional as an organism, but is not sapient on her own. Individuals are also very large for ants- about an inch long, with strong jaws capable of deft tool manipulation,

Archin colonies are composed of ‘units’ of 50-100 ants, each unit being functionally an individual personality. A single archin lives about a year, but a unit can survive and retain memories for decades. A unit usually has a set job within the colony, but their role may shift throughout their life. They will usually choose a 'name', and identify themselves with chemical and some visual signals.

A full colony (~1000-3000 individuals) blurs the lines between a person, family, and tribe. It can function as one broad consciousness, but cannot ‘think’ quickly and efficiently as a unit.

Each colony has one queen, who functions as the womb of the group. Her lifespan determines the lifespan of the colony, (up to 60 years in a healthy individual), during which time she will lay eggs yearly. The queen is no more or less intelligent than any other individual archin and contributes little to the collective consciousness, but her importance to the colony's longterm survival makes her uniquely valued over any other individual.

Drones (reproductive males) function as the sperm cells of the group, and are used to forge alliances with other colonies. They die upon mating and contribute nothing to archin consciousness, though their reproductive value makes them the second-most protected individuals in a colony.

Individual archin instinctually reject 1:1 inter-colony communication, which is necessary to not interfere with their consciousness. When parts of different colonies combine, it can lead to units becoming confused and disoriented, or 'mentally ill'. This may be resolved into rogue units, who roam apart from their colonies until they die (or are successfully divided and restored).

Consciousness does not extend beyond a colony. However, due to the highly plastic nature of archin consciousness, it is possible for colonies who lose their queens or suffer great loss of population to perform mergers with other colonies and form new identities. Relations between colonies vary- each has allies and enemies. Allied colonies may form 'nations' and even have forms of governance, though this is near-universally decentralized.

While their mode of consciousness is quite alien to other sophonts, coexistence, communication, and even friendships are possible. A unit is functionally a person with their own personality, with likes, dislikes, curiosity, favorite foods, aesthetic sensibilities, etc. Archin also exhibit highly abstract thought and have forms of religious sensibility.

[totallynotagentphilcoulson]

I've been a fan of your work for a bit now and I gotta say your creature design is peak! What is your process?

Thank you! The vast majority of my creature design here is just taking parts of the irl earth tree of life and going 'what if the niche was different', so this does not necessarily apply to settings that are fully alien (though some core elements would apply universally to any 'grounded' creature design)

When looking at the tree of life you will find a lot of patterns in unrelated animals who have adapted for the same purposes. For example raptorial claws are extremely common in ambush hunting arthropods and occur in very similar shapes in entirely unrelated species, because they are highly efficient adaptations of arthropod limbs to grasp and hold onto prey)

(water scorpion, mantis, mantisfly, whip scorpion, ambush bug, mantis shrimp)

So a lot of design questions are answered by asking about the imaginary animal's niche and referencing real life animals that fill this niche

Like these are anatomically based on pterosaurs, but addressing the question of 'what if pterosaurs expanded to a similar niche to penguins (flightless swimming predatory birds of fish and squid) and a branch from there became fully aquatic (filling predatory niches closer to dolphins or seals). '

I think the key to making it feel naturalistic is to not FORCE it to fit the mold. The question is not 'what if x was shaped like y' but 'if x occupied y niche, what adaptations would be most advantageous/are most common in extant analogous animals?'

Uhrwal (dolphin looking ones) reference a mixture of dolphins and penguins in terms of head shape, as they have beaks and this is a likelier route than something more seal-like or etc. They are egg layers and by necessity have ties to the land, so the rest of their anatomy references pinnipeds (quadrupedal, haul out to reproduce) more heavily. They also have whiskers for prey detection, mostly because I love giving things whiskers but it's plausible in that most animals in similar niches have whiskers and those that don't (cetaceans, analogous fish species) have echolocation or other senses (chemical, electrical) that assist in prey detection which a pterosaur is less likely to develop than simply modifying their pycnofibers into whiskers

Tiviit very very very heavily reference penguins as they are basically in the exact same niche (semi aquatic previously flighted beaked egg layers), but remain quadrupedal (like pterosaurs) rather than bipedal (like avians) and their anatomy is adjusted to suit this. Varkheshi (big tiviit, bottom right) hunt large prey (rather than fish and squid) fill a niche that no penguin/bird in general actually occupies, and have hooked and serrated beaks to bleed prey and bulky heads with large muscle attachments for increased bite force to rip and tear flesh of subdued prey items. Etc.

Beyond that, I'm extensively referencing similar animals for details like coloration and etc. There's no dolphins or penguins/seabirds with the Exact color and patterning shown here, but similar colors and patterning are very common.

It's pretty different with the sophonts because I've basically worked backwards with them and have had to brute force their designs into realism

The setting was originally more of a standard fantasy with most of the nonhuman ones being basically anthros, or otherwise very unrealistic and unsatisfying designs for what turned into a very grounded setting.

So I kind of had to brute force them into a place on the evolutionary tree and attempt to have satisfying answers to 'why are they walking upright?' 'why do they have hands?' 'how do they use tools?'.

Which btw is REALLY not a good way to go about this process if you're aiming for realism, because it will back you into corners where you have to choose between bullshitting heavily or scrapping key elements altogether, and I had to wipe the slate almost entirely in a couple of places to come to a design/premise I'm satisfied with (especially archin, which used to be 3 ft tall anthro bees). And there's still a LOT of questionable elements in these designs, like I don't think I've made a satisfactory excuse for qilik to have hands or done a good job on said hands (a transitional gliding avian would be FAR more likely to use its beak than its increasingly vestigial hands as a manipulating limb). Yotici are also kind of a mess

[totallynotagentphilcoulson]

this is a total normal thing for ANOTHER COUNTRY'S foreign intelligence agency front to say to American university students who are peacefully demonstrating against the genocide and oppression of Palestinians

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