toxotesjc

[toxotesjc]

connor mcdavid turns to you, huge eyes scared and wide. "would you still love me," he asks, "if i was a worm?" he is afraid to ask, but more afraid to not know. if love is conditional, he thinks, so be it, but at least the world should grant him the dignity of knowing the conditions in advance.

"connie," you say, with the gentle reproach of a kindergarten teacher, "nothing would change." you place a cucumber slice in the cage and gently mist him with your spray bottle. he is not quite content with the answer, although he wouldn't recognize the feeling if he was. but he is, for a time, appeased. it's a good day for him. he likes cucumber.

[toxotesjc]

marchy light study 🐀

[toxotesjc]

give that guy erectile dysfunction. make him want it so bad but physically not able to get it therefore perfectly mirroring his experience of frustration with his body from sex to sport and back and back and back and back

[toxotesjc]

Tolkien's letter to Milton Waldman.

Me, to the the kind souls that are my writing friends. The "I shall inflict some of this on you" resonates deeply.

[toxotesjc]

it's time to talk about leno 😈

first of all an abriged timeline of what we know about the alleged beef (creds to @moondoggiestyle for the reference, also some of my own additions): 

may 29, 2024: will signs with the sharks

summer 2024: leno and gabe both remain at BC

oct 31, 2024: will scores his first nhl goal, leno posts about it

jan 20, 2025: sharks play the bruins in boston, all the bc buddies attend including leno

jan 21st, 2025: leno's bday - no post from will, though in previous years he did post, and typically posts for everybody's bdays

jan 24-24th, 2025: BC beats BU in back to back games. leno gets a hatty in one of the games, his first. wait for it...

jan 28, 2025: jersey bet. that's fucking right. those were the games - leno's five point weekend - after which mack shows up to walk ins in will's fucking tarp. credit to @aquilotti and @loganes for this diabolical realization. so who cares about leno's hatty when INSTEAD we can talk about mack in will's jersey! SICK and TWISTED!

jan 29, 2025: mack and leno follow each other on insta, leno has been up in mack's likes, mack not so much. according to rumor, mack follows leno first, leno follows back right after (ty @loganes again!!!)

feb 10, 2025: the beanpot, bc and bu play each other, leno and gabe are on the team, mack and will attend together in fucking matching black outfits, bc loses to bu, will and mack fuck off to arizona to reenacg magic mike or whatever

march 17, 2025: will's bday - no post from leno, posts from all their buddies (voter, gabe)

march 31, 2025: leno and gabe both sign to their respective nhl teams, will reposts both posts, leno is the only buddy to not get commentary on the repost

april 4, 2025: leno scores his first nhl goal (empty net 🙄), no post from will

extremely early may: mack uses leno's number 9 for his initial team canada jersey number, THEN doubles down and adds will's 6 (insane btw)

may 7, 2025: gabe's bday - posts from both will and leno

may 29th, 2025: leno makes his farewell bc insta post and completely leaves will out of it

also let it be noted all year will has been all up in gabe's comments, nada for leno

now, for part 2 - the insta post

5 slides

slide 1: the cover photo and also the most insane photo to have possibly chosen. leno and gabe exactly mirroring the pic of mack and will that will posted on the second slide of his year one sharks dump. i dont wanna cornplate too hard yet before i get the facts down, but it's a clear duo picture. hes saying this is my guy! not a whole pic of the team, not a pic of just leno, no it is a duo pic with gabe that is quite literally an exact copy of will's duo pic with mack

slide 2: leno in the middle of posma and powell. posma is a senior, powell is a grad student, both older, neither of them appear to be in will's in crowd

slide 3: line pic with gabe, stiga, hagens, and gustafsson. interesting to me that he doesnt tag hagens here and instead waits for slide 5, which....see below

slide 4: walk in pic with will vote. from insta we know that will, gabe, leno, and vote were kind of a squad, and will leno and vote also all lived together for the development program. unsuprising inclusion.

slide 5: an absolutely insane pic of leno literally lying on toppp of james hagens and grinning. hagens was a freshman and was essentially will's replacement in the gabe will leno line. warning for early cornplating but in my head this is like The Replacement Pic.

finally part 3, i put on my little tin hat and run around in the wild going insane.

‼️warning‼️ cornplating starts here 📌

okay. leno posting for will's first goal - first of all, leno stand uppppp, second of all, w the way that boy has been acting all up in insta likes, i dont think it's fair to assume that no falling out has happened yet. and if it has happened, it was likely leno at fault because why would he be gassing will up if he was mad?

then to january, leno attends the sharks game, but the NEXT DAY, will doesnt post for the bday. meaning sometime in fall '24, there was an initial conflict. leno still shows up with all the boys, but he isnt in the group pic, and he isnt getting posted. this further solidifies my theory that in at least the initial conflict, wherever it started from, leno was at fault. 

just a week later, mack and leno follow each other. the sharks were in between a home game and a game in seattle, so it's likely mack and will were together in san jose that day. okay, so what happened here? between the weird boston/bday tension, and then will's new number one guy following will's old number one guy on insta?? hmmm

now - the beanpot. will and mack show up together to watch a game extremely important to leno and gabe, a game that very much matters to will's two best friends, and they show up in fucking matching black outfits, zero allegiance showing. mack is reading the lineup, waving a bu flag, will not so much. whats more is as far as im aware we have no evidence of will actually hanging out with his bc boys after the loss or while he was in boston at all. im not saying they didnt, but they didnt post about it! says something idk what but something!

no will bday post - silence is loud. he reposts leno's signing - he's being polite, but the distance is clear. will is notttt the type to be reserved about showing affection for his friends and fam, but not even an emoji....cold war happening 

then jerseygate: mack stealing leno's fucking number, no good explanation at all. THEN adding will's number too! so clearly will isn't even upset about it! mack is clearly involved in the will and leno war, at first one could speculate that he played a part but this is like direct involvement now. mack and will on one side, leno on the other. mack's out here wearing their matching numbers at worlds like he's fuckinh achilles dragging hector's corpse around, leno's gotta feel mocked, erased, and not chosen. he’s being publicly overshadowed, his identity stitched onto someone will now loves more.

the insta post now, no will. he's erasing him. and the hagens pic?? unreal. reads like, “you replaced me? i replaced you" except wayy more pathetic unfortch

so my main questions:

the mack following - who followed who first? leno, in some kind of testing the waters move? or mack, likely at will's prompting, or out of his own insanity? and why now? why not before or after the game, which is when they wouldve met up? they had a back to back and played the preds next day so ig wouldve been like coffee or something quick outside the locker room, but still.

‼️info update that mack followed leno first, leno followed right after. SINISTER given that this is occuring the DAY after jersey bet gate, where mack wears will's tarp to the rink based on a bet on games that leno carried. SINISTER!!!

the beanpot - i feel personally that the vibez took a turn for the worst here, but were already bad before. some kind of blowup? a real actual fight? was mack and leno following eo indicitive of some attempt to smooth things over, but then the scab got picked open at the beanpot? again with the way that leno has been grovelling via instagram, feeling like it's a him problem. but ALSO if leno did do or say something it wouldnt be entirely his fault or entirely too bad, given that it doesnt appear that sides have been taken within the core group. maybe leno said something? possibly about or to mack? possibly just to will? who knows! but after this, leno is no longer inner circle and will makes it clear. leno's sitting in a locker room somewhere refreshing will's story after his first nhl goal, and it's crickets.

post beanpot - has will been freezing leno out entirely now? and what role is mack playing, is he actively leaning into it? all signs point to yes. 

the way i see it, there's obvi endless possibilities, but my general mentally made up delulu timeline is this:

summer '24: will blindsides (to some extent) gabe and leno with leaving bc, leno takes it as a slight or a betrayal. he made sure to talk a LOT abt how happy he was that he stayed another year at bc, in this context it reads as trying to rub it in. tension is created, but nothing friendship ending yet

fall '24: something happens. will's probably drifting, pulling away, busy with the sharks and his new best friend mack. maybe leno's making comments, being passive aggressive, trying to ice will out a little bit out of hurt, jealousy, whatever. maybe he goes a little too far, will doesnt take it well, leno grovels a little. 

winter '24: by jan, it's cooled off a little, things are still tense. leno goes to the game, but the whole group is going, he cant NOT go, but they are almost certainly fighting or almost certainly have a fight here bc no leno bday post the NEXT DAY?? in my head theres a few scenarios, obvi have zero basis in fact, but i love a hypothesis so maybe something like will bringing mack along to a meetup, or texting mack while hanging w bostom boys, leno feels overlooked and replaced all over again right in front of his salad, says something nasty? who knows but it was enough for will to not post his bday! at the beanpot, there had to be something, some kind of fight, because its been a full on ice out ever since.

spring '24: will is done, checked out, he's picked mack over and over. leno is crashing out holed up in PLD's house shaking like a rabid dog. now he just wants to hurt will back, but at the same time he wants will back. he wants will to pick him but he wants will to feel as abandoned as he does. 

anyways. anyways!!

[toxotesjc]

nate mackinnon endears me because he’s so unapologetically himself. i would say he has unlearned shame but i’m not sure he ever learned it in the first place. if he likes you he is going to tell you and anyone else exactly how much he likes you and he won’t pretend otherwise. he wants the things he wants and he says them out loud and with fervent devotion. he does not have time to waste pretending he doesn’t want to win or doesn’t want to put mitch marner in a suitcase and bring him home or isn’t obsessed with sidney crosby. he IS obsessed with sidney crosby. that’s just a fact. he doesn’t care how you feel about that fact. he doesn’t have time to worry about that stuff. he’s busy going after what he wants with 100% of his entire self

[toxotesjc]

Macklin Celebrini (if you ask me)

[toxotesjc]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

Thank you! <3 Anyway, in no real order...

Moonlight over Segonois: SidGeno in space! I'm so pleased with this one. I love secret codes, I loved hiding a whole secret link in there, I'm still thinking of coming back to it.

The Break: Leon Draisaitl deals with the Stanley Cup Final loss in the messiest way possible. Another one I think I was pretty clever about. It's set during last year's playoffs.

Ratter: Maybe the best fic I have written, though I don't know if it's my favorite. I love metaphors. I love writing metaphors. I love depressive Nolan. This one's a pretty personal fic, and I think it came out exactly how I wanted it to.

Animus: TK/NP experiencing horror. How much would you change to be loved? Interesting question, and one I had fun with. This was so much fun to write!

The Standard: Yet more TKNP dysfunction. I got really attached to the idea of Nolan with a duck tattoo (that he regrets) while I was writing this. The concept WILL be back.

[toxotesjc]

Masterpost of Auctions

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adelphenium

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Fan labor:

HockeyWasMyFirstLove

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MothsMossandMorals

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Written works:

alcego

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early_birdd

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makeit_takeit

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Note: if you click on a bidding form before bidding starts, it will tell you it is no longer accepting responses. This does not mean you've missed the auction; it's just how Google displays a closed form. Try again between June 1 and 8!

[toxotesjc]

tagged by: @toxotesjc

rules: drop a mid-story line from 10 of your fics and tag people. (if you don’t have 10, post what you got! WIPs are fair game too)

tagging: @moncuries hello hi twitter oomf..

anyways i have no finished and/or posted fics to show, but TJ the evil guy tagged me so, here's some lines from a couple of my WIPs

Blueberry Pancakes (TKNP)

And so: Nolan is the revolting dead bird, only truly loved by the dog who gets hurt in one way or another, and shown off by the hunter who doesn’t care for it otherwise.

Kelly Green (McDavid)

His legs crumble, his stick is gone. He's falling and falling, and the searing hot pain feels like the sun scorching his body all over, for a moment. Then, he’s on the ice, cold and wet and snowed on. He can’t see the green– the goalie anymore, can’t feel the puck at his blade. He just sees stars– the kind that sparkle up the back of his eyelids and not the ones that he had just skated past.

Ghost of Chicago (1988)

Now though, he wakes up with a blurry memory: hints of the same ever haunting face, the dark depthless eyes, staring at him through sleek pale fingers– one adorned with a shiny ring, the silver glinting.

If I could waste another life (NolPat centric)

He's there, and he has smashed a moat around himself– unsteadily floating alone on an island of ice. In the middle of a lake, in the middle of nowhere. Cold water bleeding out of the jagged lines.

kinda mystical Hughes brothers study

The cosmos hopes that people will see it someday. When all else is seen, reached. Will the people turn to what was there always, right in front of them. Will they understand that a shadow doesn't mean something bad? Will they realize he can be good too?

The Devil: the Ace of Spades (Ryatt)

The guy only stares. Bright blue, chilling eyes. Jaw clenched. Beautiful, but not Godly. No, he’s the opposite– he looks like the Devil– which maybe, maybe Wyatt shouldn’t think that about someone.

Joe Pavelski (career) study

The light is new for him, the Stars illuminate the widespread desert of Texas. The waves in the sand feel different. He’s going to have to get used to it, learn how to shine in the dunes the same way as he used to swim in the bay.

JDTZ tradefic

Suddenly, the apartment doesn't feel so much like home anymore– not that it would be, either. The walls are moving closer. It feels sort of like Jamie's insides: lungs getting smaller and smaller, breaths coming out faster and shorter.

Stars magical realism AU (WyJo centric)

Now, though. There’s only the ache of his neck and no longer can he use the excuse of Swim Lessons to deflect the eventual red rimmed puffy eyes.

It makes him want to scream and cry and, if he was on the ice, smash his stick— instead he has to resort to awkwardly punching the mattress, hands in fists and shaking. The salty tears don't taste like the pool water did.

WillMack shark hybrid AU

When he looked up, all he could see were the sunrrays shining down. When he swam up, though— ice stopped him from breaching the surface. Ice, that seemed to go on forever, no matter where he turned to. He could see the shadows of people skating on it, could feel the vibrations of sticks hitting it and the puck sliding across. And he stayed there, trapped beneath it.

[toxotesjc]

Mack: I’m like average, like I’m 6 foot…

EN: Well, 5’11 3/4”, per the combine. / Don’t do that to him! (laughing)

Mack: [doubling down for the bit] So I’m 6 foot…Yeah, I’ve actually grown since the combine, so. (…) You ever seen those things where you put your feet in them and hang upside down? That’s what I’ve been doing. I have that right beside my bed.

[toxotesjc]

Favorite willmack fics or recs? Over 270 idk where to start

sorry this took so long, anon! there was really a lot to comb through—i've been here since we had maybe 45 fics and now there are 360. the fandom moves fast!

this list is as of may 28, 2025. i tried my best to tag every author if they shared a tumblr in their notes, but i may be missing some people—tell me if you'd like me to tag you! also, if anyone notices any mistakes, would like to be removed from the list (i'm pretty sure i checked with everyone but i may have made mistakes), or has general complaints/feedback just let me know. my dms are open.

happy willmacking!

snow on the beach - by @eros-menoitiades, E, 21k

real slick, nervy - by @ghostsinmachine, M, 5k

i scratched, you won - by @allthespoons, E, 4.5k

make my blood thump, seven, eight, nine - E, 2.6k

different kind of buzz - by @lagerloutfic, E, 3.6k

tiny vessels - E, 2.6k

come on (leave me breathless) - by @moondoggiestyle, E, 10k

one of your girls - by @edmoil, E, 5.5k

and this is my four leaf clover - by @tradetobest, T, 7.6k

revisiting the shoreline - M, 6k

boy blue - by @litafordvsferrari, two part series, both E, 5k and 31k

make a predator of me, i'll be good to you - by @killthedirectors, M, 7k

take me out on a joyride - by @samgirard, two part series, both E, 16k and 16.7k

half his clothes went missing (my body's where they're at) - by @samgirard, E, 5k

game-worn - E, 4.7k

first tracks - by @somewhatinvested, two part series, both M, 6k and 21.7k

tender hearted jellyfish alien boyfriend - M, 3.4k

swan dive at sunrise - E, 10k

brand new (full throttle) - T, 18k

it took so long to know someone like you - T, 14.5k

aphasia - by @moncuries, E, 54k

about you - by @alltimecharlo, T, 28k

between our teeth - E, 18.3k

with wild abandon - by @utahmammoth, E, 20k

the ache has hands - E, 10.8k

best guess - by @litafordvsferrari, E, 55.3k

better half - E, 93.7k

lemon tree - G, 7k

my four leaf clover - by @alltimecharlo, G, 11.6k

stockholm syndrome - G, 26k

always comes first - by @toxotesjc, E, 37.6k

safe bet - by @loganes, E, 26.6k

sunburnt - by @somewhatinvested, M, 7k

virgin mojitos - G, 10.6k

burning down the highway skyline - by @mothbrainrot, G, 5.7k

and lastly a self plug because i have no shame:

so intimately rearranged (been waiting for this moment) - by me, M, 17k

please feel free to reblog with additions! <3

[toxotesjc]

picture study

[toxotesjc]

you can turn off google ai overviews if you have the ublock origin extension!

thank you, did not know this! now off to acquire this ublock origin thing

[toxotesjc]

I wanted stuff about reproductive fitness

[toxotesjc]

Previews are officially open!

Head to Dreamwidth to browse offerings, or check out our masterpost of auctions for a full list. Bidding opens on June 1!

[toxotesjc]

he would forcefemme him but in a misogynistic way. do i have to teach everything around here....