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Kirsty Hume

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Shovel talk went wrong

Zeus: Alright, you listen here—

Percy: No, YOU listen. Apollo doesn’t deserve any of your bullshit, old man. I’ll drag you to Tartarus by your beard if you even put a single scratch on his head. Got it?

Zeus:

Apollo, holding Percy by the waist: I picked well, haven’t I, father?

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I want to see a fanfic where Harry hatches a basilisk.

I want to see a fanfic where he looks up “magical snakes” as soon as he gets to Hogwarts because that thing at the zoo always bugged him, and so the Trio works out that it’s a basilisk immediately after the first petrification in Second Year. But they don’t know how it’s getting around or where it is or anything, so Harry is just like WELP SET A BASILISK TO FIND A BASILISK while Hermione and Ron are like HARRY NO.

I want to see a fanfic where Harry sticks a chicken egg under a toad and makes all these plans about how he’ll talk to his huge deadly snake and get it eye-blinkers and shit so it doesn’t kill people and make sure it’s not too aggressive, and somehow it never occurs to his twelve-year old brain that the chicken egg has a total volume of about four tablespoons and he is not going to get the giant King of Serpents he is expecting.

I want to see a fanfic where it finally breaks out of the shell and Harry finds himself with a bb!basilisk too smol to even have the murder-eyes yet, who can only petrify someone for about half an hour before the effect wears off. She eats spiders and gets tired very easily and demands that he wear a hood she can curl up in and sleep.

(She is also the same vivid green as his eyes and already hideously venomous, but doesn’t like using her fangs because she says they get cold and give her brain freeze when she unsheathes them.)

I just… I really want Harry with a haughty, demanding, arrogant danger noodle who has an overinflated sense of her own importance, views Hedwig as a TERRIFYING MENACE because she isn’t big enough to eat owls yet and keeps up a steady stream of insults hissed in Harry’s ear whenever she’s near someone who has a Dark Mark (which she can sense at close range). And who is basically useless as a familiar because she refuses to slither across anything other than sun-warmed stones or Harry, hasn’t got a very powerful gaze yet and doesn’t like biting people.

(Except snake-arm-people. She finds snake-arm-people confusing and annoying, and would probably make an exception on the no-biting thing where they’re concerned.)

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how good would it be if luna, who believes in the crumple-horned snorckack and nargles, thought that dinosaurs were made up by muggles

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National coverage of the hurricane has been so heavily tilted towards the typical hurricane-affected areas that it is going almost completely unreported as of posting that the town of Chimney Rock, North Carolina has been completely leveled.

Aside from some residential areas, the entire town is gone.

I'm posting this because in the coming days and weeks there are going to be a lot of calls to help people who survived the storm and many are going to assume that this is business-as-usual hurricane season stuff, but it isn't. This storm tore through Appalachia, flooding regions that have literally never flooded like this. The hills and plants that hold soil in place have been severely damaged because this kind of weather event is so deeply unprecedented the plants that live here are completely unprepared for this to happen literally ever.

There are no undamanged highways in or out of Asheville. We can't even recover the phone and data networks until trucks can get into the area, and they can't get into the area because some of the roads are just GONE. The water was so fast and so intense it washed the dirt from underneath the pavement and chunks of road literally fell down the fucking mountains.

When you see things over the next few days asking for help, please understand that this is not typical hurricane season damage. Entire communities have been flattened. The infrastructure in much of the region is utterly destroyed and will take weeks just to begin recovery in some parts.

The phone and data grid are offline.

Power and water are out for most people.

The roads used for evacuation are undrivable.

This is an absolute nightmare scenario.

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You CANNOT serve from an empty vessel but go off I guess

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a comic about OCD

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I noticed you haven’t been online in 10 hours, is therapy finally working?

this websites hate mail game is ruthless

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✨️ Thighs ✨️

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They ask me why my standards are so high when Shin looks at Lena like this I-

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shinlena!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Lucerys: *gently taps the table*

Aemond: * taps back*

Lucerys:*taps more aggressively*

Aemond:*taps harder*

Rhaenyra: .....What are they doing?

Daemon: Morse code

*Luke and aemond having a full-on argument in morse code*

Aegon stands up: You take that back!

Luke, confused: you understand morse code?

Aemond, annoyed : Stop reading our conversation

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Every time I try to write its like my brain just freezes. I want to be able to express myself as freely as I did before. Just throwing words out that somehow found a meaning and that meaning being exactly how I felt? I miss this so much. I wish I could bring nyself back from back then.

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the thing nobody fucking warns you about is that once you know literally anything about sewing or how clothes are constructed it immediately becomes impossible to buy clothes because 90+% of newly produced clothes that you can actually look at in a physical store are just hot fucking garbage. like what is even the point of buying something made of thin polyester blend with a shit ton of exposed lazily serged seams on the inside and weirdly large armscyes? its completely unrepairable and also not worth repairing because it’s designed to be disposable and half its flaws are unfixable without essentially re-sewing the garment from scratch and the other half are a ticking time bomb where no structural element is expected to last past the first failure. no fucking wonder nobody bothers learning to sew buttons or darn in this day and age!! theres no damn point because the rest of the garment is totally fucked by the time it becomes needed! *i am gently escorted out of the department store, frothing at the mouth*

but you watch enough historical costuming videos and its just like. “+1 skill acquired: making your own clothes! good luck, you’ll definitely be using it from now on :)”