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how much longer do I have to stay alive before I can kill myself

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Hannibal (2013-2015)

2x10 - “Naka-Choko”

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Ralph McQuarrie concept art for Battlestar Galactica (1978)

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Texted a team lead from last year about school and how things are going and he is happy for me and said to message if I need help.

Idk how people work but yeah

When I am drunk, I sent people effusively kind drunk texts. Including people I have not seen in years.

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Alien (1979)

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I will read replies when sobers so take ur time texting back u will ßgreßs me out

When I am drunk, I sent people effusively kind drunk texts. Including people I have not seen in years.

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When I am drunk, I sent people effusively kind drunk texts. Including people I have not seen in years.

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Waylon Jennings | The Palomino | North Hollywood, CA

Happy Birthday, Waylon

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anyone else wish they would get roped into a freaky friday body swap situation just for the hope that the other person will go "oh jesus fuck how do you live like this" and instantly validate your feelings of being Strange and Built Wrong.

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There need to be, like, Crash Zones at regular intervals throughout populated areas for overwhelmed unsupported people

Like that middle stratum of not impaired enough for official help but too impaired to assemble an unofficial support system, and/or official help is pending/insufficient, and/or totally normal but about to mcfreaking lose it

Target population is broad is what I'm tryna say here drunk bear with me

Free no eligibility you just walk in the front door sign in maybe a super basic form

Staffed by Nice People who are thoroughly trained and vetted

You get a bed you can sleep if you need to sleep sober up if you need to sober up

Talk if you need to talk but if you don't wanna talk they won't bother you

Keep you safe if you have a mind to do yourself harm or kill yourself

There is food, many kinds for sensory and allergies and medical diets, pick what you want and they'll encourage you to eat if it is hard.

If washing up is hard they help you wash and launder your clothes too, and the medical person knows how to tend to basic medical devices like insulin pumps and PICCs

They know every social service and nonprofit and Meeting in a 150 mile radius and if you need long term help they will plug you in this is not a bandaid

Come here when you are overwhelmed and need to crash and you will be safe and loved we need to do this

I just need $10mil and I will make this happen

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The last wild-born ʻalalā (Hawaiian crow), photographed by iNaturalist user abcdefgewing in October, 1997. By 1994 the wild population had dwindled to around 10 individuals, including this juvenile, who would subsequently disappear sometime in 1997. Thus, this observation likely represents one of the last times anyone ever saw them. [ x ]

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Lords of Kobol:: Shermen Cottle as Asclepius

“Gentle Asclepius, that craftsman of new health for weary limbs and banisher of pain, the godlike healer of all mortal sickness.”

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do me a favor and reblog this and put in the tags what time it is for you and what you're currently doing/thinking about

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Update on how it went:in roughly chronological order

1 declined the nerve block they offer because I'm crazy

2 said sure do a pap smear while you're at it I won't get one any other way

3 advance practice nurse was very nice and professional. warned her about me.

4 chaperone policy for all such procedures. very nice trans msa stayed with me and talked to me during

5 had me butterfly my legs instead of those stirrups because they freaked me out. easier to keep my knees open anyway.

6 freaked out a little at the first touch but we reset and the second time I held still.

7 the smallest size speculum with lube felt like being scrape-stabbed up there. pap smear mini bottle brush thing just felt weird.

8 clamp spikes tool wasn't so bad ...

9 compared to the measuring tool. look it hurt less than stubbed toes or papercuts, but toes and fingers are parts that you feel every day.

10 it was more extreme discomfort than pain, but from a part of the body the brain never gets input from and so it's also weird. you should not be able to feel something going up through your cervix and poking the roof of your uterus is what I'm saying here.

11 the person measured/stabbed my uterus *twice* and concluded it was too small for the standard IUD.

12 and here is where I am glad I went to pp and not yeehaw county primary care. the chaperone msa poked her head into the hallway, asked for the smaller version of the IUD, and had it within 20 seconds. anywhere else, I would've had to reschedule and get stabbed all over again.

13 one last big stab, then a big period cramp kind of spread up and out.

14 the medieval devices were removed from me and I sat up and cleaned myself up and got dressed. pain level is bearable, like the first day of a period.

15 I did not expect to feel so okay physically and emotionally but I do.