trans-matters

[trans-matters]

[1920′s gangster voice] every single one’a you’s…… every single one’a you’s is valid…….

[trans-matters]

What a sad loss for our community. I will be working on finding a new home for the gender blog.

Kyle

scream @ “female presenting nipples”

[trans-matters]

Do you have any advice for wanting to keep curly long-ish hair? I'm terrified that when I start taking T I will lose my hair that I've been trying to grow out. I have naturally fine hair so I'm nervous that I'll have to shave it.

I would suggest hitting up your dermatologist or local derm and getting a game plan together. There are hair loss preventive steps you can take but it’s really a gamble with your genetics. 

Kyle

[trans-matters]

Hey, I have a very small clitoris. At best as big as a pea. So could that mean that even after going on testosterone it will still be too small for Metoidioplasty? I’m pre everything, including social transition, so there’s no way I could ask someone in real life.

If you’re pre-t I wouldn’t even worry about it. Hormones will def make your clitoris grow and I highly doubt it’s going to be too small for Metoid. Also the medical community is advancing more and more who knows what bottom surgery could look like in the next 5-10 years. You got time, haha I am still waiting for the option that I think suites me.

Kyle

[trans-matters]

Am I allowed to live as a boy (being called „he“, etc.) If i haven’t done anything medical yet? I just feel like I’d be lying, but I really want to socially transition.

You have no obligation to medically transition a lot of transgender individuals choose not to and they still 100 percent valid.

Kyle

[trans-matters]

Sometimes my dysphoria is so bad that I can’t function and sometimes it’s so non-existent that it makes me question if I’m acutely trans or if it’s just so little that I easily push it down

Well that’s the beast that is dysphoria. It’s not everyday, sometimes it’s not even physical. Dysphoria doesn’t mean we necessarily need to hate our bodies everyday to be trans. Dysphoria is social, dysphoria is physical, it can be mental. It’s that “off feeling” and guess what on the good days when you are feeling connected with your body and you don’t feel it’s pull that’s super dope! Don’t think twice about it. Enjoy it, you are not any less trans!

Kyle

[trans-matters]

Hey, I don't have a question. I'm a butch lesbian and I was browsing for summer wardrobe ideas and I know there's some overlap in wardrobe styles so I thought I'd share this website for building a masculine wardrobe from nothing! Here it is - onpointfresh com/building-basic-wardrobe-scratch I know the brands/prices might be a bit much but it's just general idea of where to begin. Hope this is helpful to someone :)

Thank you for sharing this link to me! I hope it’s helpful to some of the followers. 

Kyle 

[trans-matters]

I am contemplating asking my mother and/or father for a chest binder for Christmas, but I have a feeling that their answer will be no. How can I convince them to either buy one for me or let me buy one?

This article I found to be quite helpful and includes resources you can give to your parents to show them that this will be very helpful to your mental health etc.

https://aminoapps.com/c/lgbt-1/page/blog/how-to-ask-your-parent-for-a-chest-binder/eY6M_RPou3udX5Bq3Xd0ZapkKr6RQNBloG2

Kyle 

[trans-matters]

When I relized I was trans I knew that ment I was gay and I was sad that I didn't act like a gay guy because I was boyish and shy, but now I see that gay guys aren't much different then straight guys, boys just acy like boys, did you ever have this problem or anything close to it, I get that it dosen't matter anyways though im fine :)

You def don’t need to “act gay” to be gay. There is no wrong way to be gay. 

Kyle

[trans-matters]

Hey do you think its OK for Costco girls to bond? I was kinda thinking of bonding myself but.... Idk I don't want to upset people or something

I’m confused by this question, do you mean bind? I think it’s okay for anyone to bind, that’s a personal preference.

Kyle

[trans-matters]

Look up the actual definition of dysphoria.

Kyle

[trans-matters]

Do you think you need body dysphoria specifically to be trans?

I’m not the gate keeper, I’ve answered this question several times. See previous answers, thanks.

Kyle

[trans-matters]

Do you know if there’s anyway for a minor to transition medically without their parents consent? I’d like to apply for Testosterone if at all possible.

You would have to get yourself legally emancipated from your parents and they would relinquish all rights, you wouldn’t be on their insurance and you’d probably have to move out of their house etc. they wouldn’t be responsible for supporting you in anyway what to so ever. 

Kyle

[trans-matters]

I recently started going to therapy but not a gender therapist as my parents don’t know I’m trans. What my main goal was to be able to start testosterone in the near future as I will turn 18 in a little less than 4 months. I talk about it with my therapist but she said she wants to deal with my depression first. But I don’t feel as though my depression effects me more than my gender dysphoria and my body dysphoria. Is there something I should say to her or just go with her plan?

I think what’s going to happen is your therapist is going to quickly find that your depression is directly linked to your dysphoria, and I would be sure to voice that your gender dysphoria is playing a huge part in your depression because you aren’t able to live as your authentic self. You are stuck in a body that doesn’t feel like it’s yours, that would depress anyone.

Kyle

[trans-matters]

This is kind of a controversial question so if you don’t answer it’s ok. Do you think people can people be transgender and not dysphoric?

I think people are so convinced that dysphoria means you’ve got to hate your body and want to get this surgery and have this done and erase your past etc etc. This isn’t the case. People also tell me oh I don’t feel any dysphoria I just know I’m transgender. 

So dysphoria by definition is a state of unease or dissatisfaction in life.  If you felt uncomfortable being addressed by your previous gender, being seen as the individual that you were living as that was not you, it sounds to me like you were experiencing some form of dissatisfaction in your life so you took the necessary steps to alleviate that dysphoria by changing your gender.

I think people experience dysphoria in different ways, social dysphoria, physical dysphoria, sexual dysphoria.  It’s my belief that dysphoria is not something that should be put in a box, it is just as broad as gender.

Kyle

[trans-matters]

Hello, I saw that post a few days ago : "*hits blunt* a lot of trans people didn’t actually know their whole lives that they were transgender. plenty of us, with no frame of reference or proper education/exposure to LGBT stuff, had to go through a long process of self reflection and learning and experimenting first before finding the identity that most suited us." What do you think about it? Is it possible to be an "old" trans without knowing it?

Yes, I didn’t know I was transgender until well into my 20s. A lot of us grew up in a time where there was no language or even representation for us. If people were trans they were doing so deeply stealth or it just was not discussed. Sometimes you don’t realize something is wrong until a massive change happens in your life or you go through a huge break up or maybe you meet someone who is trans and you finally realize oh my god, i’m not just this quirky lesbian who doesn’t fit in with all the others, who can’t understand why they were dating straight women but weren’t attracted to lesbians etc. etc. 

I struggled so hard insisting I couldn’t be transgender, I had no idea for the longest time I just thought something was wrong or off about me.

It’s entirely possible to be trans and not know. Do not let age stop you from living your life to the fullest, you can be happy, even if it’s at 50, even if its at 80.

Kyle

[trans-matters]

Hey Kyle, I recently bought myself a binder but I’m still not flat. I’m about a 34 d or so and my mother says it’ll never be completely flat. I’m super dissatisfied and I just wanted to know if achieving flatness can be done if you are large chested. Thanks so much!

Well you certainly will be flat one day, top surgery will happen (if that is an option you want) it just takes time. But I don’t think binding to be completely flat is a good thing, not all men have completely flat chests and. you don’t wanna break your ribs. Look I have a pretty big chest for my size and despite photos, I am not flat chested but it doesn’t make you any less of a man. 

Some of the best binders I’ve found for larger chested men and people are @flavntstreetwear great products.

Kyle