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Getting abused as a child literally rewires the way you see and move through the world and the way that Revolutionary Girl Utena makes that warped vision the reality is probably why I enjoy (or enjoyed as a teen) it over any other media about middle/high school and romance. When you’re a child going through abuse, everything is that scary, dramatic, and unreal. Every relationship becomes a duel when you believe your suffering is eternal. If you’re just a means to an end, isn’t everyone else? You just have to go to school the next day after an event, but at least there is a little reprieve. You trudge through the day knowing the bullshit you have to look forward too. Very few are willing or able to understand what’s going on so you give up on close connection so young to not get your hopes up. Lock everyone else out in the meantime, who cares what anyone else thinks, it’s so cozy in the coffin. Adults are utterly useless. Reality will sooner break apart than you make healthy, long lasting relationships because you are a witch, deserving of eternal torment.

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Shade of a Moon Ideal - A piece about Anthy

Closeups below :]

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The only way to get what you want is to lose your purity.

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young, naïve, and really miserable

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so i was testing this cd player i found with one of my utena cds and decided to listen to this track (since its one of my favorites because of how sad it makes me)

and. i never realized until now but the main melody in this track seems to be a variation of the sunlit garden? i never noticed before (probably bc its in a different key), but because i've been learning how to play the sunlit garden on piano i noticed how familiar that melody sounded. i also made a direct comparison so you can see what im talking about

and just... man. this track's english title (at least on my cd) is "comforting nostalgia" which fits with the themes of the sunlit garden as a concept. and this whole revelation is making me so insane because of what i associate this specific track with. this track (iirc) first plays in episode 13 right before anthy goes to visit akio (which i feel is also thematically relevant to what i'm going to say) but the place that it stuck with me the most was when it plays at the very end of episode 33.

episode 1 of the show opens with utena's backstory and the sunlit garden playing, and i feel like having the variation of this track play in episode 33 (especially when it's an episode titled "the prince who runs through the night") is just....... aughhhhhh. "the prince" is here with her, driving the very car she's sitting in after they spent the day together. but of course, things are... different now. her prince was something that once brought her comfort, and to extent he still does, but its not nearly the same, and not as innocent as it once was. it used to be a fairy tale but now its very real

a once happy track is distorted into something that feels much more mature (to me at least. it opens with piano just like the sunlit garden does, but then it transitions to string instruments, saxophone, and a flute). it's grown-up, things have changed, and they're not the same. im having trouble articulating just how this whole thing makes me feel but mannnnnnnnnn it's. it's something.

also worth noting that the sunlit garden is in c major, a very happy sounding scale (as major scales tend to be). i don't know what key this specific track is in (from my brief usage of a tuner and humming to it, it looks like its either b flat major or g minor) but it is definitely much sadder sounding

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been a while since i've been so violently hit with a vision of an utena drawing (this exists because of my earlier realization that the sunlit garden's melody is also in the track that plays at the very end of episode 33)

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perpetually grieving child

art commission sheet

almost forgot to draw her ring.. twice

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yay anthy ^_^

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Monotony, eternity.

Present, permanence.

The truth of all creation: unending sameness, infinite variety.

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Jihad has raised $50 out of his $3000 goal

please consider donating to Jihad's campaign! Jihad is a father with his two sons. His son Saleh had his leg crushed and they cannot afford treatment and his son Hussein had his hand injured.

We are not living. We are simply surviving. And some days… not even that.

Any amount can help. A meal. A blanket. A step toward treatment. Help me give Saleh a chance to walk again. Help me give Hussein a reason to smile.

@khutsydoh @transmascutena @waterloggedsoliloquy @surelyskyrocket @utenaposter @felinedae @timetravellingkitty @west-of-the-styx @tasaq

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"Oh no you've been brainwashed into a shell of your former true self" this is my true self asshole! you've just constructed a false version of me in your head that agrees with you and you're treating deviation from that ideal you've forced on me as the product of mind control! you're not as different to your father as you'd like huh?

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This could've been a yuri

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**note: there is no correct answer. do not harass anyone for having outlandish theories. this is rgu, it’s always that deep. don’t be a saionji.

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Revolutionary Girl Utena?

Revolutionary Girl Utena (1997)