trashcandroid

[trashcandroid]

[trashcandroid]

talking to preschoolers is awesome bc they have not fully differentiated stories into 'true stories' and 'imaginary stories' yet so you will tell them about something that happened you once (coyote came out of a bush right in front of you and got startled) and they will tell you about how one time their house was full of coyotes in every room 'including five in the garage' and they're not even like, aware i think of the idea that they are technically 'lying'. they are simply telling stories about coyotes bc its time to tell stories about coyotes.

[trashcandroid]

obsessed with those fucking alien cat memes can someone send me pictures of those cats photoshopped to look like little fucked up green aliens. like this one.

[trashcandroid]

Sci-fi writers: In the year 2023, robots have become-

People in 2023: no they haven't lol

Sci-fi writers: FINE, in the year fucking 8482756738471

[trashcandroid]

[trashcandroid]

[trashcandroid]

i was seeing all these little blue flowers everywhere and kept thinking "dang what are these bitches, i can't remember..." well guess what. they were fuckin forget-me-nots. can't believe i failed step fucking 1, the hot girls on iNaturalist are going to laugh at me and i'm gonna flunk out of hobby botany school.

[trashcandroid]

[trashcandroid]

[trashcandroid]

The fucking. Team magma branded vending machine. I'd like one evil soda please

[trashcandroid]

are other things ever jilted or is it just ex-lovers?

[trashcandroid]

i had a dream i worked in an underwater restaurant and people kept ordering ice in their drinks and then getting mad at me when it would float away. and i’d tell them beforehand that the ice would float away & they’d be like lol no that’s not how it works just give me the ice. I’m fighting customer service battles never seen before

[trashcandroid]

She deserves all the pets

[trashcandroid]