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I can’t be the only one imagining a scenario where the Hazbin crew group hug Alastor’s Love Interest and thank them profusely for motivating the Radio Demon to practice basic hygiene.

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I need y’all HH/HB followers to understand that I am not a fujoshi/I don’t fetishize mlm (or wlw tbh) relationships and it is actually very off-putting to me despite how normalized it is in fandom.

And yes, that does make enjoying HH/HB a difficult and frustrating experience lol.

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Hedging toward Alastor/Reader bc I’m in my “I hate being in love bc it makes me a desperate mess and I hate how pathetic I become under its spell” phase and that’s so him if he genuinely loved somebody.

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Blitzø/Reader where he actually shows some romantic inclination and takes you out on a fancy date and you — a human — think the night is gonna end with the two of you finally consummating your relationship… only for Blitzø to be like “hey so uh I set this whole thing up to tell you I’ve kinda got this obligation to fuck somebody else for my job and I’m tired of keeping it from you sorry”

And you’re just processing, heart plummeting, and it turns into a dealbreaker

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I wish Stolas was a VILLAIN. I wish he betrayed Blitzø and I.M.P. to Hell’s Elites and the gang had to work together to escape. I wish Stolas wasn’t shoved into everything ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

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I love that you added this info bc it’s even funnier knowing Al is such a proud carnivore and he apparently doesn’t brush his teeth so he still wouldn’t be able to compare it to anything but butter.

Has anyone copped the idea that Alastor’s attempts at flirting are mainly stating weird/creepy facts about the human body?

Alastor: “Darling, did you know that the human brain has not the substance of a sponge or gelatin, but the consistency of melting butter?”

You: “… Why can’t you ask for my number like a normal person?”

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Who else has read Anthology of Summoning and wants to discuss with me???

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More Alastor in Love things:

• Pouts bc you won’t eat ppl with him

• He’s upset if you can’t dance but finds a strange, all-encompassing delight just spinning in a circle with you and/or letting you stand on his feet while he does most of the work (you figure out how he balances with you standing on his hooves bc I’m not gonna)

• Adores you using lingo from his time period — even if you do it incorrectly, and are embarrassed about it, he feels a swell of love for you

• “Static-ed” when you told him rather dreamily how much you love the vocal effect on his voice and wish you could listen to him read you the phone book

• Our deer will present bouquets to you while wearing specially-made gloves to avoid them dying — heart eyes when you say you’d love any flowers he gave you, even dead ones

• Taxidermy craft dates don’t @ me — it’s up to you if you prefer these to the hunting dates

• You get irritated or angry and threaten to kill someone (ofc you don’t actually mean it, it’s the heat of the moment) and Alastor fans himself/praises and encourages your viciousness

• Reads to you at bedtime and lets you cuddle him, he might even stay there and hold your hand in his own after you’ve fallen asleep

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IM WRITING THE SNAKE-Y LUCIFER SMUT I SWEAR

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The Blitzø/OC idea I’ve had for a little while:

It’s not fleshed out or anything but I like the idea of Blitzø falling for a human bc it’s canon that the imps find humans unattractive. And B is hypersexual so actually working off a relationship where he’s not into his intended initially and then develops an attraction later on is compelling to me.

I wish I could draw bc I just have this image in my head of Blitzø strolling along with a girl in a bright yellow sundress and just talking her ear off about horses whatever while she grins and laughs. Idk idk idk.

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Has anyone copped the idea that Alastor’s attempts at flirting are mainly stating weird/creepy facts about the human body?

Alastor: “Darling, did you know that the human brain has not the substance of a sponge or gelatin, but the consistency of melting butter?”

You: “… Why can’t you ask for my number like a normal person?”

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Alastor: “I could kill you if I wanted.”

Reader: “Yeah…? So could another human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren’t special.”

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I need to complain about HB just a little more but it’s under the cut you’re welcome.

I hate how hard they try to make Stolas sympathetic and UwU — why tf can’t Viv just learn how to write character development and have him go from a depraved, spoiled royal prick to less of a depraved, spoiled royal prick bc he develops feelings for Blitzø over time??? Why do they have to make him a victim and shove it in our faces so fucking hard?

I would be neutral to “hey I could ship this” if they didn’t force this so hard that I’m choking on it. Christ.

BlitzFizz 5ever sorry Ozzie. At least those two were naturally sweet childhood friends that could’ve become more and I believed it. At least BlitzFizz has chemistry!!!

TBH I ship Blitzø with p much everyone BUT Stolas at this point I s2g.

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Alastor to Reader: “I love you. It’s ruining my life.”

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Oh Helluva Boss has a trailer for its next 5 episodes

*watches it*

More Stolitz sop… yayyyy

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I never know how to say this without sounding condescending but when it comes to social media you can simply choose not to be around people who make you unhappy.