trashthrashiing

[trashthrashiing]

@kremlingking || x

" . . . "

"...Ya' complainin' right now."

the mutant freak sighs heavily, picking up a bag of frozen vegetables she brought with her. she slowly puts them against his snout.

"Easy there, big guy..."

"...We could try just talkin' to 'em, yeah...?"

You sweet, naive lackey.

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"Aww, c'mon. Where's the fun in that? Gotta keep ya on ya toes somehow..."

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continued from [x]

"OH GOOD! Maybe NOW you'll stop throwing them at me!"

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@kremlingking || x

"GOTTA CATCH ME FIRST, YA ROYAL CHONKINESS!"

and she's barreling out of the room, placing the crown upon her head with a nasty little snicker. the nerve!

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‘he had an accident and died.’

"...Shit."

"He owed me twenty bucks, man."

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‘i have not a whore’s notion what any of that means. but i like it.’

"I thought ya would. It's revolutionary. It's diabolical. They'll never see it coming. Now, we're gonna need a LOTTA fire ants..."

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SENTENCE MEME ⟶ WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS / 2.01 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

‘he had an accident and died.’

‘i had what is known as a summer of self-discovery.’

‘i spent so much time at the DMV they finally just gave me a license.’

‘i did what any young, handsome man would do: i went and bought a classic convertible, put the top down, blasted some tunes and blocked the entrance to the lincoln tunnel.’

‘no, don’t you remember? his intestines came straight out of his bum.’

‘not much new with me. i’ve been spending a lot more time in the upstairs bathroom.’

‘that’s the tenth vampire i killed this month.’

‘well, can you dust more quietly please?’

‘i haven’t slept in 72 hours. i’ve been eating these chocolate-covered espresso beans.’

‘did you make a messy toilet again?’

‘you should really drink more water.’

‘my wife and i have not a whore’s notion what any of that means. but we like it.’

‘it’s like my father used to say: never accept a towel from an italian.’

‘i dragged it for three blocks before i noticed and i’m embarrassed to say i dragged it for another eight blocks after that.’

‘i could watch him clean all day.’

‘what they don’t know can’t hurt them.’

‘i feel like there’s a way to be cool… which you are, you’re very cool… and also, respectful, you know?’

‘you need to let them know that you are worthy of being turned into a vampire someday.’

‘who doesn’t want to be a vampire?’

‘he’s still learning. he’s still finding himself. he’ll get there.’

‘you know, if you want, you can drain me right now.’

‘i don’t mean to be hard on you, but it’s important you follow the fules for everyone’s safety.’

‘do me a favor and stay away from the koi pond.’

‘yeah, i’m sad that he died. but… that’s the business.’

‘death comes for us all. it comes for the bees. it comes for the trees. it comes for, uh, basically anyone from zero on up, so…’

‘there’s no such think as vampire killers, you knob lord.’

‘i’m just saying that it wouldn’t hurt to be more cautious and alert.’

‘it’s a truly fantastical part of the dark arts.’

‘no, he’s excellent at the dark art of ripping you off.’

‘these people are shysters. they’re obsessed with the upsell.’

‘’meet me at my hut’ what bloody hut?’

‘look, mister, we are not interested in your tricks and trinkets.’

‘yeah, uh, how long has he been dead?’

‘he is not dead, although sometimes we wish he was.’

‘did you bring a personal item belonging to the deceased?’

‘it’s all there, razzle-dazzle man.’

‘life takes time, my friend. we are reversing the very power of nature itself.’

‘i have recently noticed that the house reeks of decaying flesh, and there are dead birds everywhere.’

‘i think there might be something really wrong with him.’

‘he waits under my bed and tries to bite me, for one.’

‘that, my boy, sounds like slander.’

‘do you have any proof of this wild accusation?’

‘i just wish you guys knew how hard i work for you, and you don’t, so that’s okay, never mind, forget it.’

‘sorry, buddy, but you were trying to kill me.’

‘i’m not gonna high-five you anymore.’

‘your screaming disturbed me from my slumber.’

‘you shouldn’t be putting your head in there. it’s not hygienic.’

‘you conned us, you slippery bastard!’

‘he was crawling on the ceiling, which is odd.’

‘you were bloody texting on your phone the whole time!’

‘just copy what they do, you’ll be fine.’

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*kicks in door* "OH HARLOT, I'M HOME!!!"

SCREAMS AND DROPS HER BASKET OF ORANGES

"...My oranges..."

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hey guys, i hate to do this but i'm at severe risk of losing my home and i could really use donations and signal boosting

i've been homeless before, they're threatening to take my house away and losing my home would utterly devastate me. i have medical concerns and i'm so burned out. we can't pick up enough hours or sell enough of our things to fix this in time.

if you can't donate please please please boost so people can see it. we are in desperate need of help. thank you.

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" The grind don't stop. "

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not this AGAIN

@docnefarious

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i dunno when i got these kinds of moves

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ooc: obligatory new cat pic

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@docnefarious

"THEY CAUGHT US, RUN!!!!"

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OOC: PSA

This is a roleplay account. It is purely for fiction and whimsy. While I greatly care about troubles in the world I do not use this account to support any form of causes, and I have a main account @ickystyx where you can send that to if you want to discuss me being able to boost your cause. Please stop sending these things to my roleplay account because I can't help you here.