trauma-culture-is-blog

[trauma-culture-is-blog]

Trauma culture is feeling like you’re being accused of something when people are really just worried about you. Or not being able to tell the difference. “I was wondering if you don’t want to be here” is that a subtle threat? Are you trying to catch me in the wrong? Are you calling me rude? I just told you I feel like shit and don’t want it to affect your party why are you doing this???

-☕️🚬

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[trauma-culture-is-blog]

Trauma culture is per regression and even just seeing the words “good boy” on a screen makes my heart feel like it’s tearing itself apart

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[trauma-culture-is-blog]

kind of a follow up to my last-

trauma culture is also panicking at the idea that the person you like might like you back because please don't do this to me again, don't be like all the others, not you.

I can't be vulnerable like that again just for it to be dashed against the rocks.

Trauma culture is getting defensive and instinctively putting up walls of disbelief when someone acts like they care about you

-☕️🚬

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[trauma-culture-is-blog]

Trauma culture is feeling terrible about myself and wanting to cry whenever I like someone (or about them finding out) because I'm terrible and weird and a waste of breath and there has to be a reason all my relationships fail the same way, so its embarrassing for the person I like at least, disgusting at worst that I might like them

-coffee cig anon on my computer

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[trauma-culture-is-blog]

Trauma culture is “just get a job”

girl did you miss the part where I said I’m not allowed to ?

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[trauma-culture-is-blog]

Trauma Culture is having people who are so determined to believe you are the worst version of yourself all the time. You haven’t even done that stuff they talk about, they’re just insistent on telling you how awful you are all the time and calling it love.

-☕️🚬

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[trauma-culture-is-blog]

Trauma culture is struggling with motivation to do anything because you were always told how lazy you are and nothing you do ever makes a difference anyway so you’re just wasting your energy

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[trauma-culture-is-blog]

Neglect (and you could def call it favoritism) culture is my parents chastising me for not knowing where my sister is going to college because "its all we've been talking about for the last three years." Yup it sure was. But I also wasn't here most of that time in my own college, plus I have a disorder that affects my memory and you know that. What's funny is that these people don't know a single damn thing about me and have never cared to learn, even with my entire life in that house.

Similarly my grad celebration was done up the way my sister wanted, centered around a sport I can't stand. Cuz that makes sense.

I know doesn't sound that serious but its just one example of a million things

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[trauma-culture-is-blog]

Trauma culture is honestly I hate my birthday. I’d rather curl up into a little all and avoid the whole thing all together. But it’s a free day to spend with my friends and that’s important to me

but also I’m afraid of the day I don’t bring it up and nobody else does either

-☕️🚬

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[trauma-culture-is-blog]

Trauma culture is being a grown adult and still hiding from your dad. I don’t feel like an adult

-🦂

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[trauma-culture-is-blog]

trauma culture is Knowing it wasn't right but also... Was it that bad?

(the answer is yes, but it's so hard to remind myself of that.)

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[trauma-culture-is-blog]

Trauma culture is completely random switch up between your parents being the good guy or the bad guy, praising you or making you feel like an absolute failure. My dad is is a whole different state right now with zero reason to be upset at me. Except he’s upset, so now I’m getting beat down over the phone about something he was so nice about before because he needs a stupid fucking punching bag.

-🦂

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[trauma-culture-is-blog]

Trauma culture is I can’t kill you but I would give anything for you to die in a violent car crash (except apparently he’s god favoritist little boy)

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[trauma-culture-is-blog]

Trauma culture is even after years of abuse and a ridiculously unstable household I’m still telling from the unfairness of it all. I still sob and panic every time the “positive conversations” get brought up or the yelling starts. I’m still too useless to move out because I can’t balance school and work so I need their money. I should be used to this I should be able to navigate the storm or at least weather it but I can’t because I’m soft or some shit I don’t even know. I can’t not speak up about how bullshit everything is even knowing the trouble it’s going to cause

-🦂

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[trauma-culture-is-blog]

trauma culture is sparkles and rainbows and joy and ice cream because I am young and I have not ruined anything yet. I an okay. I am still okay. I haven’t ruined my relationship with my parents yet. I haven’t fallen yet. I fell into his crib and ruined everything. I was stupid, i didnt Listen, and now they don’t love me. He didn’t even get hurt. I was three, and I screwed up my parents love for me forever. I screwed up my whole life. I’m so angry. But not yet. Not now. Now I am three and still young and playing with blocks on the couch and I am okay.

-🌟🌈💫🩷

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[trauma-culture-is-blog]

Hey all! I think I need to clarify that when I say, “feel free to ask questions” I mean in relation to what is an isn’t okay to put in asks, and sometimes questions in those posts. I am not your therapist, and I’m not here to answer questions about life and what I think is right or wrong. I’ll sometimes offer my thoughts but not if people don’t want me to. This isn’t to shame anybody, mostly just stopping things before they start to become a problem. If you’re having struggles this is a good place to send them in asks! That doesn’t mean I’ll answer any questions in them

thank you!

-Sootsprite

[trauma-culture-is-blog]

TW mentions of threats, physical and psychological abuse and suicide

CPTSD culture is maybe she has changed, maybe it wasn't that bad, maybe I am really exaggerating, maybe I shouldn't go no contact, but, what if she cries to me about her past again, what if she is angry at me again, what if she threatens to hit me or abandon me again, what if she threatens to kill herself again, what if she fights everyone everyday again, she doesn't repent for anything she has done, he doesn't either, they are just sad I won't take it, they cry because I called them out on it, they just make up excuses on why they shouldn't feel bad about it, nothing has ever made them change, I have to run, but what if I'm exaggerating, like she always said, how do I live without her controlling me, my clothes, my hobbies, my friends, my body,

I hate you mom, but I hate to say that more than I hate you.

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