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that hotel california comic makes me lose my shit every single time & i’m so thankful for it honestly

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some of the plot resolutions in house were so fucking funny. like one episode a guy had seen 10000 different doctors to try and figure out why he was sick and when he came to house, house’s first question was “ok i think i recognize this, there’s this tropical disease that’s preeeeeetty common, have you ever been to the tropics?” and the guy said no and house was like “hm ok guess it’s not that, it must be something mysterious and obscure because this is the Mysterious And Obscure Ailment Show, i will keep digging” then 35 minutes later in the episode house is like “this really REALLY feels like it’s that relatively common disease i mentioned earlier, are you SURE you’ve never been to the tropics” and the patient is like omg NO why do doctors always harp on that I TOLD YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN TO THE TROPICS I HAVE NEVER BEEN SOUTH OF FLORIDA and house just stares at him before being like “FLORIDA IS IN THE FUCKING TROPICS” and the patient is like. oh.

this all happens while the patient is holding house and like some other people hostage and forcing house to treat him at gunpoint btw.

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You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

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You've been cast into a fictional setting, and you don't get to pick your genre. This wheel picks it for you.

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(*some photos of tardigrades don't show their eyes because they're 3-d scans of the tardigrade's surface and the eyes are inside of their transparent head)

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You discover that you have control over a certain thing, as determined by spinning this wheel. We're talking full-on magical girl/superhero/supervillain/your label of choice control.

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hate when people are like "trust your gut! listen to your intuition!" like okay well my gut is telling me every person i lay eyes on is hunting me for sport and my intuition is saying i should find a secluded cave and live there forever so what do you suggest i do with that information

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chatgpt is the coward's way out. if you have a paper due in 40 minutes you should be chugging six energy drinks, blasting frantic circus music so loud you shatter an eardrum, and typing the most dogshit essay mankind has ever seen with your own carpel tunnel laden hands

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@ gaurav

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Regardless of your gender or sexuality, reblog this and tag your most hetero male trait. Mine is either obsessing over my Altima or sitting around watching TV shows about air disasters.

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i sometimes like characters that fucking suck. when a character is a shit head in just the right way it can be so funny and/or compelling. like this is my beloved character, Asshole The Hater. they suck and i love them. someone dropped them into a ditch on the side of the road and i picked them out of the ditch and put them in my pocket

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there's a lot to bitch about re: supernatural but at least it was made in 2005 starring teen soap actors on the cw with one million episodes per season. that's real television. if they made that shit now it would be like six episodes on apple tv and glen powell would be in it. so count your fucking blessings.

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Reading articles about MrBeast's dominance of YouTube is fucking bizarre because, from my perspective, the dude isn't even on YouTube. I've never watched one of his videos. YouTube has, to the best of my knowledge, never recommended one of his videos to me. Every thumbnail screenshot of his looks like something you could tell me was a photoshopped parody of YouTube culture, and I'd believe you. No one I follow on YouTube ever mentions him, even negatively or in passing. The first time I ever heard his name was in regards to the quality of his ghost kitchens. The only way I know he isn't a mass, shared hallucination is that I've witnessed the thoroughly mid-looking chocolate bars he sells at Walmart for some reason