tried-to-write

[tried-to-write]

We Got Married (but maybe I don’t wanna be)

Pairing: MoonSun

Summary: She did it for the publicity, it was a pretty well known show after all.

or

Yongsun, Byulyi, and Eric through WGM.

Chapter: 2/3 - Moon Byulyi

Links to alternate websites if you don’t like reading on tumblr: AO3 AFF

Yongsun was going to get married to a man, a stranger.

Byulyi had never felt that life was unfair more than she did at that moment.

Sure, it wasn't a real marriage. But it still hurt, the reminder that she would never be the one to stand on the other end of the aisle from the one she loved, her best friend, just for being who she was.

Byulyi felt like she was being torn apart internally, but she also couldn't deny that it was good publicity and decided that she would support Yongsun who had chosen to do it. So she put on the largest grin that she could muster and cheered on her unnie.

The initial few days after Yongsun officially accepted the offer were the hardest. Byulyi couldn't help feeling betrayed, even if she kept telling herself that it was all for business. So, Byulyi withdrew herself from her unnie, not wanting to accidentally hurt her in any way, attaching herself more to the two younger ones instead.

The ever observant maknaes noticed, of course, how dismissive Byulyi was towards their leader. They confronted her one day, after Yongsun had left on her own for a meeting with the managers. They noted her strange behaviour, wondered if their unnies had yet another fight.

Not for the first time, Byulyi considered revealing her (not so) little crush to the two girls. She trusted these girls with her life, had spent a good portion of it with them. In the end, she held back and told them a heavily downplayed version of her story, hiding her romantic feelings behind a veil of platonic friendship.

She hated herself for being such a coward, hated lying to two of her best friends. But, she wasn't even out to them yet, let alone willing to potentially ruin their whole group dynamic. Despite their continuous shows of support for the LGBT community, Byulyi told herself that it wasn't the right time.

The two girls listened and comforted her with sympathetic hugs. They reminded her of the upcoming comeback and encouraged her to make up with Yongsun soon.

She took their concerns and words of advice to heart and the following day, Byulyi greeted her unnie with a hug.

What she had not expected was for Yongsun to pull her in closer and whisper in her ear how much she'd missed her. Byulyi was left sputtering in response, face blazing as the leader giggled amusedly.

This weird behaviour continued on for the rest of the week. Yongsun would suddenly grab her hand or wrap her in a hug. Byulyi was sure that there was something wrong with Yongsun. She couldn't say that she hated it though.

---

Byulyi had to hide her disdain watching the fake couple when she appeared on the show several times to react. She watched as they did things that Yongsun had only done with her before, or things they hadn't, things they planned to do together... And when did they get so casual with hugging and holding hands?

Byulyi had to constantly remind herself that the relationship she was seeing on screen wasn't real. Still, her chest grew tight as she saw the couple get closer.

Byulyi did think that Yongsun looked uncomfortable with all the displays of affection. But then again, how would she know when she'd never seen Yongsun like anyone romantically before?

(Didn't know that she had seen it before, every time they looked into each other’s eyes)

Byulyi answered every question the panel had on Yongsun proudly, not able to hold herself back from showing off how well she knew her unnie. She wanted so much to proclaim how much better she would be with Yongsun instead of that Eric Nam, but knew it was a dumb idea. Instead, she sat there quietly, only laughing and commenting at the appropriate times.

No matter how much Byulyi didn't like it, she could still see that Eric was a good guy. He was treating Yongsun well and all Byulyi wanted to see was her Yongkong being happy, even if it meant supporting the Ddongie couple.

(Even the virtual couple's greeting sounded so much like theirs and Byulyi couldn't help feeling a little possessive)

(“Yongdong Yoondong” would never beat “Yongkong Byulkong” and no she was not jealous) So Byulyi held back on her disdain for the situation and put on a smile as she helped her leader get ready for her dates. She tried not to feel hurt when Yongsun sent her practice videos for her wedding, instead turning it into gratitude that she trusted Byulyi enough for advice. She lied about how cute she found the couple when it was really just Yongsun she focused on each episode. She tried her best to cherish the time they spent together preparing lunch boxes, even if they were for another man.

Through all this, Byulyi hid her resentful feelings, channeling them into song lyrics instead, writing about how worthless she felt.

---

Even when you’re here, it hurts I miss you but what can I do? I don’t want to make it obvious

Afraid you’ll find me pitiful, yeah

I’m so worthless, worthless, yeah

---

Whenever Eric was brought up yet again in press conferences or interviews, Byulyi worked hard to steel her jaw and keep her mouth shut as her leader laughed abashedly. Was their relationship really that interesting? Last time she checked, they were promoting for Mamamoo, not We Got Married.

Byulyi knew she was being petty and unreasonable but she couldn't help her exasperation.

These feelings turned out to be more serious than she had thought and she couldn't help the words that burst from her lips in yet another fight with her unnie.

The fight had started small, arguing over dumb things was a standard in their relationship. But all the pent up frustration and insecurities over Yongsun's relationship with Eric Nam that Byulyi had built up inside of her found it the perfect time to make themselves known. She lashed out at the leader, shouting things she didn't mean and accusing her of things she didn't believe.

And Yongsun shouted back, Byulyi knew she would. The leader would never let herself be accused with false allegations. Then Byulyi was suddenly out the door and finally freeing the tears that had built up behind her eyeballs, the guilt from fighting with her best friend eating at her from the inside. She wanted so badly to just go back in and apologise to the woman, accepting whatever scoldings might await her. But Byulyi was too worked up and heartbroken and maybe a little messed up because she actually didn't want to be on good terms with her unnie at the moment, didn't want to keep pretending that she was okay, and so she left it there and walked off.

An hour later, the door in front of her opened to reveal Wheein who looked questioningly at her as she quietly stepped into the house, eyes rimmed with red and a pack of beer in her hands.

Another hour later, empty beer cans were scattered across the floor among the two women sitting cross-legged.

“Wheein-ie...” Byulyi whined, dragging out her name.

“What do I do...? She definitely hates me now. You should've seen her face, she was so angry. But also hot. So hot . How can anyone look that hot when they're angry? Seriously... I slammed the door on that pretty face! Slammed! On her face! Now I'm angry at myself. Oh man, what if she doesn't want to talk to me anymore after this? Or worse, what if she doesn’t want to see me again? That would be hell...” Byulyi drunkenly rambled, leaning her forehead on Wheein's shoulder

“Wheein-ah, I can't live a life without Yongsun..!” Byulyi wailed in anguish, turning her head to cry into Wheein's neck.

Wheein sighed, bringing a hand up to sympathetically pat the older woman's head. “Get your shit together, Byulie-unnie. You know that she could never hate you, right?”

“You're right, she's too nice for that… And I still hurt that precious sunshine with my stupid words! Wheein, I'm such a terrible person!” Byulyi bawled.

Byulyi suddenly grabbed onto Wheein’s hand, flattening it against her chest. “Do you feel that? There’s nothing, is there? That’s because I’m heartless!”

She promptly let go of Wheein’s hand and burst into tears.

Wheein lifted an eyebrow at the silly display in front of her. After just a brief explanation of what happened, and then close to an hour of overdramatic blabbering about the same thing, her patience was starting to wear thin.

“I think you should just tell her.”

“Tell her what?”

“That you like her.”

Byulyi blanched. It was almost comical how wide her eyes grew and Wheein had to stifle a laugh.

“How- how did you know? Oh my god, Wheein-ah, are you psychic?”

“Um, unnie, it's pretty obvious.” Considering all the flirting, touching, and longing stares. “Hyejin and I have been suspecting it for a long time.”

“But I thought I was hiding it pretty well… I never even told you I was gay. Holy crap, do you think Yongsun can tell too then?” Byulyi started to hyperventilate. “She definitely, definitely hates me now.”

“Unnie, do you seriously think she would judge you for that? Anyway, Hyejin and I are pretty sure she's bisexual.”

“Do you mean that or are you just saying that because I happen to like her?”

“Unnie.”

“Alright, alright, sorry. But this is really bringing my hopes up and my heart is beating unhealthily fast right now.”

Byulyi knocked back a shot of soju and moved to refill her glass, only to realise that the soju bottle was suddenly in Wheein's hands. "You've drunk enough today. It's time to stop," Wheein said as she screwed the bottle cap back on and placed the bottle down an arm's length away. It was just out of reach of the inebriated woman who had too hazy a mind to think to just move to take it. Instead, Byulyi grumbled incoherently before draping herself across Wheein's lap, folding her arms and pouting. Wheein chuckled and gently pushed the woman off onto the floor, standing up and bringing the bottle with her to the kitchen. "No..! Wheein-ie don't leave me..." Byulyi whined. "You can survive the 10 seconds I'm away from you, and I'm like a metre away," Wheein called out, voice muffled by the concrete wall between them. A few seconds later, Wheein emerged carrying a glass of water in each hand. She placed one down in front of Byulyi who was still frowning at being abandoned.

“Come on, unnie. Drink some water.”

“No.”

Wheein sighed. “You'll feel better in the morning.”

“No.”

“Alright, well, I'm going to go sleep now. It's pretty late and we still have practice tomorrow.”

“Okay, and I'll sleep here, in the living room, away from you.”

Wheein had to hold back from slapping herself in disbelief. “Right. I'll wake you up in the morning.”

Before closing the door to her room, Wheein turned back and said, “By the way, I'm sure everything will be fine in the end, especially since it's you two. So don't worry too much about it, ‘kay?”

She gave a dimpled smile and shut the door.

Byulyi stuck her tongue out at the closed door and moved to the couch to finally sleep.

(She was tremendously grateful to Wheein the next morning)

---

It took less than a week of half-hearted perseverance before Byulyi relented, as she usually did whenever Yongsun was involved. She didn’t know how much she had missed the other woman’s embrace until she was finally in Yongsun’s arms again.

---

When Mamamoo was invited to guest star in an episode, Byulyi didn’t miss the worried glances cast at her by Wheein. She mustered a weak grin and a thumbs up that didn’t seem to convince anyone by the look on Wheein's face. But it was still a job, and it still had to be done to the best of their ability.

They got ahold of the Ddongie couple's schedule and planned their surprise visit behind their clueless leader's back. They thought of ways to get the couple closer and came up with games, already scheming their winning strategies. They loved to see their unnie put in uncomfortable situations.

She didn't expect how much harder it would be in real life. Watching them get along in person hit her hard in the chest

Byulyi volunteered to be the game referee, unsure if she would actually let herself beat the couple if she were a part of the games. Her mind went blank when she saw Eric place his lips on Yongsun's cheek. Reminding herself that there were cameras filming, she forced herself to smile and cheer for the couple.

She thought she could win an award for her acting.

It felt almost difficult to leave the place, knowing that she would be leaving Yongsun to sleep together with another man. Sure, there was cameras everywhere so there was almost no chance of anything happening and she had nothing to worry about. But Byulyi still felt uneasy, missed the nights she spent huddled under the covers beside the older woman. Their schedules had been packed and while they saw each other almost every day, there was less time for simply hanging out, just the two of them.

It must have hurt her more than she'd thought it did because she started tearing up soon after they returned to the RBW building. She didn't even realise it at first, not until cries of “Byulie unnie! Are you okay?” reached her ears and brought her back to reality. She noticed first the worried looks of the people around her, then the ever familiar feeling of tears trickling down her cheeks.

Their manager was at a loss on how to react and, after making sure she was not needed, left to give her some time alone with her teammates who were much better at calming her down.

Tears kept spilling uncontrollably from her eyes no matter how much she tried to hold them back which was frustrating her to no end and only served to produce more tears. Her teammates embraced her as she sat on the floor and wept and she clung onto them like they were her lifeline. They stayed in that position till her cries reduced to just the occasional sob.

Byulyi was embarrassed by her breakdown. She didn't like crying in front of others, felt that it made her seem weak, vulnerable. But she knew her members loved her and would never judge her for it. She had restrained herself from showing anyone how upset she was at the situation, tucking away her feelings because she knew they would just be a burden. It was kind of relieving to finally let it all out.

“Unnie, are you feeling better?”

“Yeah I- ” Byulyi paused to sniffle. “I think so.”

“I'm so sorry, I didn't think that you were that affected by them,” Hyejin said, arms going around Byulyi again in another hug.

“It's fine, I didn't think so either.”

“Still, I should have known…”

“You couldn't have known, it's not your fault. If anything, it's mine,” Byulyi let out a hollow laugh. “I thought that if I saw them together, saw how happy he made her... Then maybe I could get over my feelings.”

A wry smile briefly appeared on her face before she continued, “But it didn't work. And now I'm disappointed in myself for being so selfish that I couldn't just be happy for her.”

There was a moment of silence in the room before Hyejin raised an eyebrow. She lifted a hand to knock Byulyi on the head. “Unnie, that's gotta be the most stupid idea I have ever heard from you, and I've heard a lot!”

Byulyi frowned at her junior and rubbed the stinging spot on her head. “Hyejin, that's not helping,” she grumbled.

“She's right though, unnie. And it's just as dumb that you think that you're selfish for not wanting to see the person you like being romantic with someone else,” Wheein chipped in.

Byulyi blinked at her two friends before finally sighing.

“Alright, alright,” Byulyi raised both her arms in surrender. “I got it. I don't need you two to gang up on me.”

The two childhood friends glanced at each other with serious expressions before swiftly high fiving.

Byulyi lifted the corner of her mouth in a half smile, hands lowering as the overwhelming feeling of gratefulness hit her.

“Thank you for this.”

“You know we'll always be here for you, unnie.”

There was a moment of tenderness as the girls shared another hug and soft smiles were exchanged…

“But I'm kinda hurt that you told Wheein but not me, though.”

The three girls burst into laughter.

---

The manager gave them the rest of the day off, told them that they did a good job with filming earlier. It was days like these that Byulyi felt truly appreciative of all the supportive people in her life.

After a restless night, Byulyi gave up on sleeping and went to practice early. Dancing had always been a way for her to clear her head and she let herself be immersed in the flow of movements, her body moving to the rhythm of the music.

The sound of the door opening was drowned out by the music but the reflection of a familiar face in the peripheral of Byulyi’s vision caught her eye and she halted in her movements. Byulyi hadn’t really been prepared to face her leader so soon and thought that Yongsun would even be late that day considering how filming had gone on overnight. Mentally bracing herself for the imminent conversation, she moved to turn off the music.

“Byul-ah, what are you doing here so early?”

Byulyi’s heart rate sped up and she wasn’t sure she could blame it entirely on her dance routine.

“I could ask you the same, Yongsun-unnie,” Byulyi said, reflexively averting her eyes as she deftly avoided the question. She wasn’t really in the mood to talk to the woman who she had been trying to forget when she came in earlier, but said woman obviously had other plans. Byulyi focused her eyes on the wall beside her instead, unable to meet the other woman’s eyes, and so missed the flash of annoyance on Yongsun’s face.

“Filming just ended so I came here early. Now it's your turn to answer the question.”

Byulyi didn’t really want to but could hear the tone of irritation in Yongsun’s voice and reconsidered.

“... I couldn't sleep,” she yielded after a moment.

“Byulie, look at me. What's wrong?”

Byulyi felt a pang in her heart at the gentle tone and finally looked up into her leader’s eyes. It turned out to be a mistake as her guilt just worsened upon seeing those concern-filled eyes directed right at her. Those eyes had always been a weakness of hers. Byulyi could feel herself about to burst and let out a deep breath, resigning to her fate as she forced the words out of her mouth.

“I was jealous,” she blurted out. “Of Eric.”

“I just- I'm the one who's always been with you, but now he's the one who's exploring new places with you and doing new things with you when- when-” Byulyi scrambled for the next words to say.

Her heart pumped fast and hard in her chest as she held the words she knew she wanted to say at the tip of her tongue. Her brain told her that those words could ruin their friendship forever. However, the previous night's talk came to the forefront of her mind and lingered.

Byulyi finally decided to just go for it and said, “When it should be me.”

Her shoulders drooped. She couldn’t bear to look at the leader’s face, afraid of what she would find.

There was a long period of silence in the room and Byulyi wanted to run away. But then Yongsun was suddenly embracing her and Byulyi clutched at the arms around her, afraid that the other woman would suddenly decide to leave. If Yongsun would accept her then...

“Byul-ah, you don't have to worry about losing me, okay? We'll always be the best of friends.”

Byulyi felt a stab in her chest.

“Right, just friends…” she whispered bitterly. Her leader was denser than she thought. Byulyi wanted to laugh at Yongsun, but decided to drop the subject and just enjoy the hug.

---

On the Ddongie couple’s last day of filming for that damned show, Byulyi couldn’t help rejoicing. She didn't feel as good about it when she saw how sad Yongsun actually was about the whole thing ending, but she still felt a little lighter. No matter how she felt about the situation, Byulyi was still grateful to Eric for providing her unnie a pleasant experience on the show.

It wasn't all over yet though, as there was one last event to be attended: the MBC Entertainment Awards Ceremony. Byulyi held it in the back of her mind as they were doing final preparations for their own event.

During a lull in activity, as they took advantage of the chance to rest their legs before having to be on their feet for a few hours, Byulyi glanced at the woman beside her in her pink-tinted dress. Said woman was typing rapidly on her phone, replying to one message or another on her SNS, not noticing or simply just used to the attention on her. She was so beautiful even with her mouth agape as she completely focused on her screen.

Byulyi took out her own phone and held it up, letting the strong urge to document the stunning woman beside her overtake her. She could never resist such urges anyway and the leader was used to it by now, usually complying with Byulyi's every need to photograph her. This time was no different.

“Unnie, look here.”

Yongsun glanced up from her phone, only to look into the screen of another. She naturally went into a pose for the camera, locking her phone screen with one hand while the other moved to lightly hold her chin, along with a gentle smile to complete the look.

Byulyi snapped several pictures, experimenting for the best angle. When she was finally satisfied, she brought her phone back to eye level, showing it first to her unnie who gave her nod of approval before returning to texting. Byulyi stared a little longer at the picture displayed on screen. Their outfits matched especially well, along with the colours and... they looked kind of like they were getting married… which reminded her of what was happening later on that night.

Perhaps out of spite (towards the man who had really done nothing wrong and towards the society that forbid two women from being together), Byulyi found herself posting the photo on their fancafe, with only the word "BEST” added on to it along with a quick caption of ‘Welcome to Byulddonie world’’ (because Yongsun was indeed her world). It didn't matter if she added the word “friend” to it, society deemed it impossible for two women to be anything more anyway, and if that's how it was then she would take advantage of the fact to be as obvious as she could.

It wasn't long before they were called out from their rest for some finishing touches before their performance. Soon, they were stepping off the stage decked out in all black. Their manager immediately pulled their leader to the side, ushering her urgently towards the exit.

Byulyi sighed as she was reminded of the other award ceremony that had already started. She had erased the upcoming event from her mind to focus on her performance. She hated that the events had such clashing schedules that Yongsun had to rush off so hastily. Almost missing the leader's absence, she hurried to catch up with the departing group, pleased that she managed to send off her unnie as she usually did.

Standing at the entrance waving her leader off, Byulyi even kept turning around as she went back in to continue waving goodbye, not disappointed by the silly faces she got from her yeba in return. She went back up to join the rest of the members in the waiting room, chatting with them for a bit before turning on the TV in the room and switching to the MBC channel.

They were all eager to watch their beloved leader appear on the screen and cheered noisily when she actually won Best Couple Award with her fake ex-husband. They all howled with laughter (as their leader had predicted correctly) when they saw her fumbling with her words on stage, a rare sight.

After a while more, they finally wrapped up and headed home. Byulyi ultimately found herself unlocking the door to her unnie's house, washing up and grabbing some clothes she knew she had left behind last time. Stretching herself out on the familiar couch, she scrolled through her phone for a bit before eventually succumbing to the exhaustion that always came after events.

---

Byulyi jolted awake upon hearing the soft beeping at the front door. The resounding click that followed signalled the arrival of her housemate.

Muted footsteps shuffled across the floor.

Yongsun-unnie must be home, Byulyi thought drowsily. Not wanting to leave the comfort of the couch, she didn't bother getting up to check.

The footsteps halted, and the house was quiet again. The silence was lulling Byulyi back to sleep. She was just about to doze off when she heard her name.

“Byul-ah… You don't even know how much I love you.” followed by a soft chuckle.

The confession was soft and Byulyi might have missed it if the room wasn’t so quiet. But it was, and she heard it clear as day.

Her mind, still half asleep, took a moment to process what she heard.

Yongsun-unnie? How much she loves me? What does she- Yongsun-unnie loves me?

Byulyi opened her eyes and looked around the dark room blearily. The space in front of her was empty. Where did she-

The sound of the shower turning on interrupted her thoughts, coincidentally answering her question.

Letting her eyelids fall back shut, Byulyi buried herself into the back of the couch. She groaned. What did Yongsun even mean by that? Was it a friend thing? But it definitely didn't seem like a friend thing. Or was Byulyi simply just overthinking things?

She was so tired. It was so difficult to think. She decided that she'll worry about it in the morning (it's a problem for future Byulyi now) and promptly fell back asleep.

---

A/N: Has it been exactly a week? I kinda rushed some of the scenes in this chapter so I could get it out by today so sorry if it's not as good as the first chapter :’)

Stick around for next chapter where they’ll finally get their shit together… or won’t they..? ;)

[tried-to-write]

We Got Married (but maybe I don’t wanna be)

Pairing: MoonSun

Summary: She did it for the publicity, it was a pretty well known show after all.

or

Yongsun, Byulyi, and Eric through WGM.

Chapter: 1/3 - Kim Yongsun

Links to alternate websites if you don’t like reading on tumblr: AO3 AFF

Yongsun’s first thought when her manager had told her about the offer was that it was a good opportunity to make herself, and by extent Mamamoo, more well-known, considering that the show was quite a hit all around the world.

Her next thought was if she would make a good wife, or if she would just tarnish the group's reputation by being on the show. She was shy and not a very good actress. She was unsure if she would be able to get along well- or at least act like she did- with a virtual stranger.

Finally, her thoughts jumped to Byulyi, the woman she's had a growing crush on ever since they cleared up their initial misunderstandings. While Yongsun didn't want to be too hopeful, her best friend's recent behaviour made her feel like her crush wasn't as unrequited as she had thought. Would Byulyi be fine with her going on this show?

Yongsun told her manager that she needed more time to think about the offer. The virtual marriage would take up quite a bit of time in her life and was sure to disrupt their schedules so she wanted to discuss it with her members first. Although really, while it was a legitimate concern of hers, her main priority was to see Byulyi's reaction.

Her manager gave no resistance, but Yongsun didn't miss her strong encouragement to go on the show, reiterating several times how popular the show was and how much recognition Mamamoo would gain from being on it.

When Yongsun brought it up after practice later that day, Wheein and Hyejin were supportive as ever, as she had expected, and Yongsun pretended not to be disheartened when Byulyi just grinned and agreed that it was a wonderful idea. Guess her crush was in fact one-sided then, seeing how unaffected Byulyi was by how she was essentially getting married to another man.

Too hurt she had been to see the strain behind that smile.

They were distant after that, for a short period of time. Byulyi would latch onto Wheein or Hyejin more, not to say that she hadn't before but it had always been more special between the two of them and-

Yongsun didn't know how to explain the unease growing in her heart.

Then, all of a sudden, Byulyi clung to her more than ever. Yongsun was confused, but didn't want to cause any unnecessary drama. Plus, as much as she pretended she didn't like it, she had missed the constant hugging and reassuring touches.

So, Yongsun thought she would initiate some of those once in a while.

Yongsun was never one to be blatant with her affections but she was willing to make an effort if Byulyi was always this flustered by it. That woman was just too cute...

Shoving all her feelings aside, Yongsun went to her first day of filming.

---

It was awkward between them at first, inevitably, in addition to the fact that she was kind of pissed that he took so long. Eric more than made up for it afterwards however, with his gentlemanly actions and utter sweetness. Yongsun could see herself falling for him if she hadn't already had someone else in her heart.

At first, she treated Eric like she would any other friend, thinking that if she ignored the fact that they were virtually a married couple then she would be more relaxed. And it did work, for a while, but with this show and its missions, it was difficult to ignore all the underlying romantic connotations their actions had, or the discomfort it gave her.

The show brought a lot of new experiences to her, whether it be a mission or either one of their ideas. Yongsun explored new places and did new things, things she truly did enjoy. But even as she went through all these with Eric, all she could think of was Byulyi. Her mind was often occupied with thoughts of her best friend while filming.

Byul would totally love to eat this...

Oh, didn't Byul mention wanting to do this?

Woah, I should bring Byulie here!

Thoughts like that floated through her mind constantly before she would remember that she was in the middle of filming and hope that the camera wouldn't catch her spacing out.

Still, Yongsun found herself relieved that Eric was the one that she had to get into intimate situations with, even if not ideal. It was easy to immerse herself in their relationship while they were in front of the camera.

Eric played along with her silly antics, joining in whenever she would randomly break out into a dance in the streets whether or not there was music. He told jokes that fit her humour perfectly and filled their time spent together with laughter. He was always thoughtful of her, paying attention to even her passing remarks, taking note of her likes and dislikes, and they worked well together as their ways of thinking were often on the same frequency. Yongsun knew he liked her too, could feel Eric's loving gaze even away from cameras. He was always putting in the effort of making romantic gestures, grand or small, that Yongsun would never admit she really did swoon over, although she was sure that her inability to hide the blush on her face more than gave it away.

He may have not so subtly implied after filming one day, in private, that his constant attempts at skinship weren't entirely for show, hinted that his flirtatious remarks were all completely genuine. Eric never shied from announcing that she was his ideal type or how proud he was to have her as his wife, and Yongsun was flattered (but subconsciously found herself pulling away whenever she found his gaze too intense or his touches too fond).

However close they were though, Yongsun couldn't bring herself to talk about Eric whenever his name got brought up while she was promoting with the other girls of Mamamoo. It felt too weird, to mix two separate lives together. There was just a line that she could not cross. In the end, her marriage with Eric was fake, and her friendship with her girls was not.

---

Turns out, bottling up your feelings doesn't make them actually go away, Yongsun realised after she got into yet another fight with Byulyi.

At first it was over something dumb, as usual, but the both of them were nothing if not stubborn and neither were willing to give in. Then they tried to talk about it but things ended up escalating instead which, Yongsun didn't know how, brought them to fighting over her commitment to the group.

The leader was, quite frankly, appalled. Had she done something to make the other members question her loyalty? But no, she was sure she hadn't. Byulyi was just being irrational, surely. Maybe she was just being insecure and Yongsun only needed to reassure her like a good leader would.

But then Byulyi started spewing some nonsense about her wanting to spend more time working on that damn show with Eric Nam than on anything with the rest of Mamamoo and Yongsun got truly pissed. From there on, it didn't take long for them to devolve into a screamfest and Byulyi was grabbing her things and stomping out of the house and slamming the door as hard as she could while Yongsun stood and watched, urging her to leave with fury fueled words.

And then she was alone in the house.

Yongsun huffed as she sat on the couch in her living room, by herself, with no one to poke and prod her elbow with a toe or two as they lay across the length of the couch. It was a rarity in the past few weeks with how often Byulyi had been visiting. Without the other woman, it felt oddly quiet in the house.

Yongsun never knew silence could be so loud.

...

She wiped a stray tear rolling down her cheek and decided she would go to bed early.

Yongsun spent the night tossing and turning on her bed, mind filled with thoughts about the fight. She hated it whenever she got into fights with Byulyi, as often as they did, and this was no exception. All she wanted was for that dumb Byulyi to apologise quickly so they could make up and cuddle like usual.

For a minute, Yongsun considered being the one to apologise. Their fights didn’t usually last long but this one had seemed particularly bad and she didn’t know how long she would have to wait for Byulyi to give in. She knew she wasn't the one in the wrong but maybe if she had handled it better...

Yongsun gave up on sleeping for the moment and took her phone out, eyes squinting at the sudden burst of light in the darkness. She opened her usual messaging app, and scrolled through her contacts before stopping at one in particular. Her thumb hovered over the familiar name for a long time... before eventually scrolling away. Yongsun was tempted to give in, but she didn't want to admit defeat so easily and she wasn't even the one in the wrong. It was totally that annoying Byul's fault and Yongsun would wait for the other woman to ask for forgiveness first, she decided, no matter how long it took.

In the meantime, she opened up her chat with Eric instead. He was surprisingly still awake and kept her company until she finally felt drowsy. Her eyelids heavy, she shot him a quick ‘goodnight’ before going off to bed.

---

Yongsun didn’t have to wait long, it turned out, as Byulyi was apologising to her within a week. Whatever they had even been arguing about was long forgotten, overtaken by the need to hold her best friend in her arms again.

---

It was completely unexpected when the other girls appeared at the hotel she'd booked. So Yongsun had no time to mentally prepare herself before Byulyi leapt off her lounge chair and launched at her, literally sweeping her off her feet in a crushing embrace.

The girls came in like a whirlwind, immediately hyper and full of energetic yelling. And while Yongsun wouldn't usually hesitate to join in, she glanced at Byulyi, then at Eric, and felt the need to hold back.

Yongsun didn't mind the added advantage the girls brought though. The four of them teaming up to embarrass Eric did make her feel better about their unannounced visit.

That was until they suggested playing some games, then Yongsun knew that they were definitely up to something. Her hunch was confirmed soon enough.

Yongsun was hyper-aware that Byulyi was watching as Eric kissed her cheek. She also couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that hung around her after what she later dubbed as the most dreaded moment in the episode, somewhat feeling like she was cheating on Byulyi, even if it was with her “husband”.

The guilt didn't last long when Yongsun remembered that her best friend had played a part in that particular event and then she just felt bitter about the whole thing.

That episode was also the first time she’d had to stay overnight for filming. She was exhausted from the day’s events and easily fell asleep centimetres away from Eric, ignoring the eyes she could feel on her. While it was nice that she had the chance to stay in such a cozy house for a night, the downside was that they were woken up at an ungodly early hour, unfortunately a norm for singers such as them.

After filming their individual black room interviews, they were released. The fake couple stopped first to thank the staff, who had yet to be done for the day, for their hard work before leaving. Yongsun noticed she still had some time before having to show up for work so she headed home first for a brisk wash up before going over to the RBW building.

She was still relatively early and so was surprised to see the lights in the practice room already on. Yongsun opened the door to see Byulyi inside, practicing their new choreography by herself in a loose white tee and her signature ripped jeans. Byulyi was quick to notice the new presence in the room and stopped her movements, walking over to turn off the music that had been playing.

“Byul-ah, what are you doing here so early?” Yongsun approached her casually.

“I could ask you the same, Yongsun-unnie.” Byulyi easily redirected the conversation away from herself.

There was an aloof air about the way she spoke that filled Yongsun with apprehension. She seemed to be avoiding eye contact too, her eyes fixed at some point on the wall beside them instead. Yongsun frowned. Did Byulyi think that she was blind?

“Filming just ended so I came here early,” Yongsun snapped impatiently. “Now it's your turn to answer the question.”

“... I couldn't sleep.” Byulyi took a moment to answer, and her eyes were still infuriatingly stuck at that single point on the wall. Yongsun turned to look at the plain wall, scrutinising every inch of it, only to confirm that there was indeed nothing of interest on it anywhere.

“Byulie, look at me,” Yongsun said firmly, then softening her voice, “What's wrong?”

She was honestly quite worried. The other woman usually didn't hesitate to approach her for advice, so why was she holding back now?

Byulyi finally glanced at her before letting out a huge sigh which did nothing to alleviate the older woman's fears. Yongsun was about to speak out in indignation at whatever that sigh could mean when the rapper started talking.

“I was jealous,” Byulyi spitted out all in a rush. “Of Eric,” she added after a beat.

Yongsun raised an eyebrow questioningly but said nothing, not wanting to scare the other woman into silence.

“I just- I'm the one who's always been with you, but now he's the one who's exploring new places with you and doing new things with you when- when-” Byulyi paused, brows furrowing into a frantic expression that betrayed the conflict she felt inside.

She cast her eyes down and her shoulders sagged. She finally continued, “When it should be me.”

Yongsun's breath hitched at the words. Byulyi sounded so defeated that Yongsun felt her heart ache. But at the same time, her mind was racing with questions as to what Byulyi could have meant.

Yongsun wanted to believe that her feelings were being returned but couldn't shake the feeling that she could just be projecting. If she was wrong then it could ruin their friendship and subsequently, Mamamoo’s group dynamic. As the leader, Yongsun just could not take that risk.

Putting aside her own inner conflict, Yongsun gathered the tired looking woman into her arms and tried to soothe her the best she could. She struggled to find the right words to say, her mind fighting with itself as to what Byulyi even meant. Byulyi almost immediately latched onto her arms, reminding Yongsun of how affectionate the woman could get around her friends. That's right, friends...

It all made sense to Yongsun now, how Byulyi had gotten so distant for a while after she accepted the job, and the fight they had the other night. The rapper was afraid that their friendship would be compromised by the show, which was absolutely ridiculous because Yongsun thought of Mamamoo as her family and would never even entertain the idea of abandoning them.

“Byul-ah, you don't have to worry about losing me, okay? We'll always be the best of friends,” Yongsun said in the most comforting voice she could muster as she ran her hands up and down the other woman's back.

“Right, just friends…” Yongsun thought she heard Byulyi whisper but passed it off as her own wishful thinking.

---

The turning point in her virtual marriage was the Chuseok event, as all the viewers could agree. The kiss on his forehead marked the first time she ever took the initiative with that sort of contact between them. It was a spur of the moment kind of act and she didn't regret it. It had won them first place along with a luxurious trip to Dubai, after all.

They got increasingly comfortable with each other after that. Yongsun always liked it when someone had the energy to play along when she fooled around but Eric was also braver than before in making moves on her. He still always watched out for her and was also more considerate of her than most. And the more Yongsun thought about it, the more she felt like maybe she could fall for him eventually, but what she didn't know was that she never would because he wasn't her Moon Byulyi.

So by the end of the filming for the show, despite her previous declarations, Yongsun was frustrated at herself for not being able to see Eric as anything more than a good friend.

That being said, she was genuinely sad on their last episode together. She did actually enjoy his company and had fun during their outings.

Eric kept his word and messaged her regularly after the show ended. Their conversations started casually and easily, especially without the pressure of having to act like more than they really were on the side. Yongsun also realised that without having romantic situations forced between them, what she previously thought were possible feelings for him had faded away quickly, and she was left feeling like they were more suited to a brother-sister type of relationship.

However, after the fresh release of the Memory album, Yongsun was swamped with work and her replies got less frequent. Eric seemed to have his own busy schedule too and it got difficult to keep up with daily conversations, soon slowing to just a few messages a week.

That was, until, their final reunion at the end of the year for the MBC Entertainment Awards ceremony.

Mamamoo had an event scheduled right before that and Yongsun didn't even have the time to get off her post-performance high before already being rushed off to the award ceremony. She bid her members farewell and was dragged off by her manager.

It was a surprise when a hand reached out to stop the lift doors just as they were closing.

“Hey.” Byulyi sounded out of breath, as if she had ran to catch up with them. “I'll send you out.” A lopsided grin slid easily across her face, a hand naturally reaching to grab Yongsun’s wrist as she squeezed into the crowded lift with them.

The two friends had been in more intimate situations than that before, as embarrassing as that sounded. But being so close to her crush in such a confined space with a whole group of people around them never failed to make Yongsun feel shy, even more than she had ever felt around Eric, and she leaned her body into the warmth of the (ever so slightly) taller woman.

A swarm of paparazzi and their multitudes of cameras greeted them as the glass front doors opened. The furious clicking of camera shutters and flashing lights bombarded their senses as her manager gently pushed her through the crowd, dress in hand. The warm grip around her wrist disappeared as she descended the ramp outside the building.

As Yongsun was ushered into the car, she couldn't help but cast one last glance back at the waving Byulyi before her manager pulled her attention back to fuss over her appearance.

---

Yongsun arrived just in time for the ceremony to start and as it proceeded, her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Byulyi watching her go, off to her virtual husband one last time.

She brushed it off when Eric leaned over to ask if she had prepared a speech, doubtful that she had shown the man enough love as his “wife” to win any award.

Yongsun had barely registered it when it was announced that they had indeed won the Best Couple Award. She was bewildered and started to panic about having to quickly think of a speech on the spot. But all she could think of was how Byulyi was currently watching as she went up to accept the award, and she stuttered into the microphone, her mind a blank as she tried to improvise a speech.

Byulie is listening to this too, she thought repeatedly as she rushed through a hastily thought out speech, before stepping back to let Eric say his slightly more well thought out speech. Her cheeks burned at her rare moment of unpreparedness. As Yongsun sat back down, she thought of Byulyi again, pictured her backstage with their younger members, all of them probably laughing their asses off at their silly leader on screen. And Yongsun smiled at the image.

---

There was an afterparty, as most of these types of events usually do. Yongsun stuck to Eric, not really as close to any others there. She socialised with the celebrities he introduced her to or that would approach her themselves, accepting glasses of champagne even if she felt like she couldn't handle drinking anymore, just because she wasn't good at rejecting people she wasn't close to.

As Yongsun accepted yet another glass (of white wine this time), she could already feel her body starting to heat up from all the alcohol and she was sure her whole face had turned red.

“Hey Eric, does my face seem red? It feels hot in here and I’m pretty sure my face is red, right?” Yongsun rambled, as she stared into the glass of wine she was swirling in her hand.

She turned her head towards the man when she heard no response, only to find the glass being whisked out of her hand the next second and downed in a flash by the man who took it.

Yongsun looked at him incredulously. “You didn't have to do that!” she whisper shouted as she gently slapped Eric's shoulder. He clutched at his shoulder with his free hand in response, pouting at her with mock hurt on his face.

Yongsun chuckled at his exaggerated behaviour. “But thanks,” she continued as she took the now empty glass back, casting Eric a grateful smile which he didn't hesitate to return.

There was a lull in the conversation and Yongsun was about to leave to put down her empty glass when-

“I like you.”

Yongsun blinked at the goofily grinning man. Eric himself looked shocked for a moment at his own words but recovered quickly.

“Will you go out with me?” Eric continued, voice unwavering.

The shy, fluttering feelings that usually came along with being confessed to by someone she liked was absent. All Yongsun felt was dread.

The feeling hit her like a bucket of cold water. She sobered up immediately, taking a moment to process the statement. She would never have guessed that he would ask her out outright that night, expecting his little crush to fade away quietly. She should have known that he wasn't the type to let it go.

Yongsun should accept him, right? This was possibly her only chance to be in a normal and socially acceptable relationship. But then why did she not want to?

And despite all her previous thoughts of maybe liking him and how safe he was, she found herself hesitating and thinking of Byulyi, and she couldn't.

“I- Thank you but I- I'm so sorry…”

The stupidly kind Eric Nam let his smile falter for only a split second before he forced it back into a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. As Yongsun stumbled through an unconvincing excuse of wanting to focus on her career and not having the time to date, Eric only nodded weakly. With all the energy in his voice gone, he muttered that it had been worth a shot before excusing himself and trudging off towards the bar. Yongsun watched guiltily as the usually boisterous and outgoing man shrunk into his seat, cradling the glass in his hands, and found herself unsure that she made the right decision. She soon excused herself, unable to stand the strained tension anymore and having lost her one comfort in the unfamiliar surroundings.

Yongsun hailed a taxi and headed home. It was nearing midnight by the time she reached back, and so she was surprised to see an extra but familiar pair of shoes in her doorway.

Though all four members of Mamamoo visited each other often enough, Byulyi was the only one who visited her so frequently that it was practically her second home. Yongsun welcomed her any time, telling the other woman as much when she had given her the passcode to her house those months ago.

Padding softly across her living room, she found the woman she was looking for sleeping peacefully on her couch. Said woman was donned in a soft looking sweater and some sweatpants. Yongsun recognised the clothes as ones that Byulyi had left over some time ago, on another night that she had stayed over. Yongsun would never admit it but she would sometimes wear those clothes when she was feeling like she particularly missed the rapper and lowkey hoped that Byulyi wouldn't take it back.

Byulyi lay sprawled over the couch, hugging a throw pillow close to her chest with one leg limply dangling over the edge. With eyes closed and mouth ajar, her relaxed expression made her look so peaceful, a stark contrast from the usual turmoil of their schedules.

And as Yongsun stood there, arms by her side, staring at the woman before her, she realised that she was sure. Despite all her previous thoughts of how Eric at least liked her, and was a man too so their relationship would be a lot easier, and earlier doubts of ‘should I really have thrown that relationship away?’, Yongsun was sure that she had made the right choice.

With that realisation, and that acceptance, Yongsun found herself suddenly able to breathe easier. It was like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. The corners of her lips unconsciously curled up into a gentle smile.

“Byul-ah… You don't even know how much I love you.”

Yongsun chuckled softly. It was weird how the only time she could be true to herself was when no one else was listening.

She stood under her shower head for a good while, letting the steady spray of water wash away the worries of her day. Yongsun was grateful that Eric was too nice to enact any kind of revenge on her and had let her go without any protest. She changed into some pyjamas as well before returning to the living room and the woman resting there.

“Byul-ah…” Yongsun called out softly, reaching a hand over to gently prod the woman.

“Mmrh..?”

Sitting up and rubbing an eye sleepily, Byulyi looked so cute that Yongsun felt her heart squeeze at the sight. The former finally seemed to be regaining her senses as she looked around the room and mumbled out.

“Ah… Sorry, I was trying to wait up for you but I must have fallen asleep.”

“It's okay. Come on, let's go to my room. The bed is much comfier.”

“Alright.”

Yongsun faced no resistance as she dragged the groggy woman towards her room. Byulyi didn't hesitate to flop onto the bed the moment it was within reach. The owner of said bed only chuckled at the sight as she climbed under the covers as well, pulling the blanket over both of their bodies.

Byulyi moved to snuggle into the body beside her when she felt a dip in the bed, smiling contentedly as the familiar warmth lulled her back into dreamland. Yongsun in turn wrapped an arm around the lithe body curled into her, accepting her role as the big spoon. Giving in to the exhaustion of the day, she too let herself drift off into slumber.

---

Yongsun opened her eyes to empty space beside her, but the absence of her best friend was forgiven when the wonderful smell of breakfast wafted through her nose.

---

A/N: I tried to keep the timeline consistent with real life but I obviously took some artistic liberties lol. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter! I recently watched all the Solar/Eric WGM episodes and this was all I could think of the whole time so I wrote it out. I said recently but really, it's been 5 months of me sporadically adding and removing and editing the story (it was originally only 1 chapter of about 1000 words long...) so I'm sorry if the writing doesn't flow very well. Next chapter comes out in a week and will explore Moonbyul’s side through all this.

P.S. Leaving reviews would pressure me into possibly releasing the next chapter faster… :)

[tried-to-write]

fanfic author reaction to you (the reader)

fave/follow/kudos: smile @ screen

short review, "good job!"/"love it": happy thoughts @ you

review with details/thoughts: big smile, omg, author knows ur username now prob

add fic to rec list: OMG, tears in corner of eyes, u are now bffs

make fanart for story: author will name first born after you, a pic of ur icon hangs above their fireplace

[tried-to-write]

Untitled NozoEli Story

Pairing: NozoEli (I may add some other pairings in the future idk)

Summary: Nozomi confesses but runs away before Eli can reply. Years later they meet unexpectedly but this time Nozomi can’t run away again. Will they confront their feelings or will they just pretend that the confession never happened? (wow i wrote this when i was half asleep at 7am)

Chapter: 4/?

Links to alternate websites if you don’t like reading on tumblr: AO3 FFnet

The tension in the air was palpable. Takashi was starting to sweat nervously as he looked between the model and photographer. Was there something wrong? The two women had their gazes fixated on each other, neither daring to look away. He clapped his hands together to get the attention of everyone in the room, feeling an even greater pressure surrounding him when all eyes were then on him.

"Since everyone is here, shall we start the meeting?" Takashi tried to say calmly but failed to hide the slight tremor that came out in his voice.

Thankfully, that seemed to work as everyone in the room quietly took their seats and the rest of the meeting went by without a hitch with Eli letting her manager do all the talking. Eli couldn't help glancing at Nozomi every chance she got. Nozomi had changed a lot in the past few years and Eli had a lot of questions. First, she had to get close to the other woman again. As evident by a few moments before, the two of them could not suddenly revert back to how they were years ago, as much as Eli wanted them to. Hence, as she half-heartedly listened to the meeting, she came up with a plan to rekindle their lost friendship.

Nozomi was leaving the room with Nico and Kotori when a voice called out to her. The voice belonged to none other than Eli, of course.

"Hey Nozomi... Do you want to have lunch together?" Eli asked, words hesitant.

Nozomi was dumbfounded. Was Eli really asking her out to lunch? She instinctively grabbed a nearby Nico over by the arm, the shorter girl stumbling as she was suddenly pulled over roughly.

"I'm sorry, I already have plans to go out with Nico," Nozomi lied.

Nico looked at her weirdly. "What pl-" She was sharply cut off when Nozomi squeezed her arm tightly, almost cutting off the blood supply to her entire arm. She shot Nozomi an annoyed glare which went ignored but did not continue talking further.

Eli felt disheartened at the rejection. She didn't expect the other woman to be all over her, but hadn't they been best friends? Couldn't they still be best friends? Eli licked her lips anxiously. She couldn't give up on Nozomi.

"Can I follow you two out then?"

Eli surprised even her own self with the amount of conviction she spoke those words with. But, she thought back to her first year in high school. If Nozomi hadn't called out to her that first day in school, she wouldn't have gotten to know Nozomi or any of her other friends and they might not have been able to save the school. Truly, that moment had been the catalyst to all the joy that she had experienced in high school. So now, she has to pay her back. Now, she will be the one chasing, even if she gets rejected at first.

Meanwhile, Nozomi was starting to feel anxious. She wasn't ready to talk to Eli. Not about her feelings, not about their relationship, and especially not when the blonde had grown up to be so hot!

"Sure, the more the merrier, right?"

Nozomi whipped her head around to gape at Nico in shock and betrayal. She only got a devious smirk in return. Eli's entire face lit up and Nozomi couldn't help but think of how adorable she looked but also of how she was so going to strangle the life out of Nico the next time she sees her. Eli thanked them for letting her tag along and excused herself to inform her manager of her sudden change in plans for the day, a pair of turquoise eyes trailing after her.

Nico took the opportunity to escape, yelling a quick "Bye, I have other plans!" and dashing off after Kotori, who had left without her, before Nozomi could give chase. Nozomi could only silently plan out her ultra special washi washi max revenge attack on the mischievous little imp as the eager blonde beauty returned to find herself alone with the photographer. Eli was confused by Nico's sudden appearance but also pleased that they would be able to have a private time to talk. Her plan was starting to work out after all.

Being more familiar with the area, Nozomi was automatically chosen to lead the way. Both were quiet as they walked. She brought Eli to a nearby coffee shop. It was small and quaint with not a lot of customers, but the food was good and the lack of crowd made it a place they could relax in.

The door opened with the tinkling of a bell chime, alerting everyone inside of their arrival. Although not many, all eyes could be felt on the two, or more specifically, on the breathtakingly gorgeous blonde with a slim body and long slender legs that seemed to go on forever.

Eli was used to all the attention, being a model albeit a new one. However, Nozomi was not used to all the stares in her direction and felt uneasy even though she knew that they were all directed at the quarter-Russian woman beside her. She couldn't blame them though. She understood full well that the woman was hot.

They sat at an empty table by a corner. It was a small round wooden table. It was just a bit more secluded than the other tables and was enough for them to carry out a private discussion. In order to avoid bring kicked out of the establishment, they ordered a few sandwiches and some drinks. A cup of tea for Nozomi, and a hot chocolate for Eli.

Feelings of nostalgia filled them as they recalled the various times they had eaten out together in the past. These feelings fuelled Eli's hopes to mend their former bond. However, it did not give her any ideas on how to do so. Although she had spent the entire meeting devising a plan for that to happen, this was the only thing she could come up with, talking their problems out through lunch.

Unfortunately, this seemed to have been too much a spontaneous plan. Honestly, she hadn't expected to have gotten this far and when Nozomi had mentioned plans with Nico, Eli had already given up hope. And after succeeding, all she could think to herself was to not mess up. So now, she had no clue how to start the conversation having not thought it out this far. She couldn't give up now though and forced herself to say something.

"Uhh... Nozomi... So..."

Well, not the best start, but she'd have to push on.

"Well... What are you doing these days..?"

Eli, you stupid idiot! You already know that she's a photographer!

Eli was at her wits' end when she heard a giggle. It was a familiar sound that she had missed hearing.

"Elicchi, you haven't changed a bit!" Nozomi exclaimed while being unable to stop her giggling. This dork-ish side of Eli that the blonde kept hidden from the public, the side of Eli that was shown to Nozomi only and no one else.

Was.

Eli had probably already shown it to someone else. Someone closer. A lot of things could happen in 8 years, including new relationships. Nozomi couldn't help but feel a prick in her heart as she kept her smile up.

She was surprised when a sudden and familiar voice called her name.

"Nozomi-san~!"

Nozomi was bewildered when the beautiful model she had worked with the previous day suddenly appeared beside her table. Eli looked at the newcomer with an odd feeling of apprehension. Who is she?

"Izumi-han? What are you doing here?" Nozomi asked in surprise.

"I happened to be passing by and I saw you in here so I thought I'd say hi! Last night was fun, wasn't it?"

Eli could barely hide her splutter as she heard those words. Last night?! Luckily, her cup of tea had been left untouched on the table. She then decided to take a few sips to calm herself down.

"Would you like to go for a second round tonight?"

"Mmm... I'd prefer if there were less people around."

"Oh! How about you come around to my place tonight then? We can have a private dinner, just the two of us," Izumi said in a flirtatious tone, invitingly winking.

Nozomi only laughed in reply while Eli nearly spat her tea out, instead forcing the warm liquid down her throat and coughing roughly as her throat burned as a result. What is with this innuendo-filled conversation? Do they even know how suggestive they sound?

Eli glanced at the two women as they exchanged phone numbers. They didn't seem to have noticed her nearly choking, which was good.

As the perky brunette left with a cheery "Bye bye~!", Nozomi and Eli were left once again by themselves.

There wasn't the awkward tension that had been there before but Nozomi could sense the sour mood emitting from the woman sitting opposite her. If one was not looking closely, they might think that she was acting indifferent. But to the trained eyes of one such as Nozomi (it doesn't matter how long it has been, Nozomi had never- could never- forget the other woman), it was easy to tell that there was a subtle furrow in her eyebrows and her lips were slightly curled into a pout as her eyes, swimming with conflicted emotions, pointedly avoided meeting Nozomi's own.

Nozomi could clearly remember Eli exhibiting similar behaviour before and more importantly, the reason behind it. Nozomi's mouth grew into a cat grin as she took on a teasing tone and asked, "Elicchi, could it be? Are you... jealous?"

As expected, Eli's eyes widened, her face very much looking like a child's who had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. The sight of such an adorable expression on the mature woman's face made Nozomi want to snicker, so snicker she did. The blonde felt her entire face heat up as she realised that she had been so easily seen through.

"H-hey Nozomi, don't laugh!"

This only elicited an even heartier laughter to escape the photographer, causing Eli to turn even redder.

"Jeez, you always tease me like this."

"I can't help it if you always give me such cute reactions." Nozomi grinned, her point illustrated by the adult woman opposite her still blushing and pouting. Eli just made it too easy.

Nozomi felt guilty for feeling perhaps more than a bit giddy that Eli had been jealous over her. But, she couldn't help but feel that way as it meant that she was still important enough to Eli for her to be clingy towards, like she had been so many years back.

It made her feel hope.

A/N: Honestly, I feel like I didn't do too good a job with this chapter and I feel I ended off pretty weirdly too. I've tried my best for now though so maybe I'll come back to revise the chapters once I'm done with the whole fic.

Izumi wasn't meant to be a recurring character at all but I realised that I'd accidentally given her too much description before so it's weird if she doesn't show up again. She won't show up very often though, I don't want an OC to take up the spotlight after all.

Sorry for updating so slowly guys, been busy with school, exams, writer's block and stuff, so thank you all so much for following, favouriting, and reviewing this fic, it really heartens me to see you guys enjoy my fic.

If you spot any mistakes, please feel free to point them out so I can correct them, and any tips on how to improve my writing will be greatly appreciated!

[tried-to-write]

I have added links on (almost) all my fics for people who prefer to read on either fanfiction.net or AO3. This was suggested by my best bud tried-to-art :)

[tried-to-write]

Birthday Set Up

Pairing: KotoUmi (side pairings include NozoEli and NicoMaki at the moment)

Summary: For her birthday, the strict and uptight teacher, Sonoda Umi, is dragged out by her best friend, Eli, for a birthday celebration. No, not to a bar, just a normal family restaurant with all their friends invited. Nobody told her that her boss's daughter was joining them too though. And... Was it just her or were her friends trying to set them up?

Chapter: 1/?

Links to alternate websites if you don’t like reading on tumblr: AO3  FFnet

Bzzt! Bzzt!

The incessant buzzing of her phone against the wooden table beside her distracted Umi from her work. She didn't usually get that many messages and was therefore inclined to check her phone, despite the mountainous stack of papers that have yet to be marked.

Unlocking her phone, it was a pleasant shock for her to see that the sudden abundance of messages were from friends and colleagues wishing her a happy birthday. She had forgotten that it was her birthday and hadn't even noticed that it was already midnight, being too engrossed in her work (some call her a workaholic but she's just doing what should be expected of her). Some of the messages included plenty of excited emojis and some had long meaningful messages that Umi would read later. What caught her eye at the moment was a small grey bird, of which only one person would use as their display picture.

Minami Kotori.

She was a fellow teacher at Otonokizaka High, the school Umi was teaching at, and the daughter of the principal, although she was also aspiring to be a fashion designer. Umi had seen some of her designs before and she had to admit they looked cute, albeit showing off a bit too much skin.

Kotori taught English and was the advisor for the sewing club while Umi taught Literature and was the advisor for the archery club, having taken part in the activity in the past. The two had met when Umi had just transferred in as a new teacher fresh out of college. Kotori had been assigned by her mother to show Umi around the school. Even though Umi had been somewhat shy and nervous at first, her heart had instantly been captured by the cheerful and encouraging woman with the sweet voice and unique hairstyle that seemed to run in the Minami family. Over the next few months, they gradually talked less and less with each other as Umi made friends with other teachers and was too afraid that her growing feelings would show if she hung out with the other teacher too much. In the end, Umi had resorted to pining after Kotori from afar, rarely ever speaking to her anymore without any proper reason.

Opening the chat, Umi saw that Kotori had sent her a simple:

"Happy birthday, Umi-chan! ( ^ 8 ^ )"

It embarrassed Umi how much her heart rate had increased and how her cheeks immediately grew warm just upon seeing those three words. Umi was really crushing hard. She typed out a quick "Thank you." in reply (when had her hands started shaking) and locked her phone, setting it down on the table and deciding to reply to the other messages after she was done grading the rest of the test papers. As the scritching of pen on paper resumed, she had to will her hand to steady lest her words become illegible.

Umi was greeted by several party poppers loudly going off as she entered the staffroom. Streamers and confetti danced all around her. The unexpected surprise had caused her to jump up, the teachers around her laughing.

Otonokizaka High wasn't a very huge school. It may have been a very prestigious and highly sought after school once, but student applications had been dwindling over the past several years. The school was expecting that they'd have to close down after a few years when only a single first year class is left. For now, there were already only about 3 classes of 30 students each per level left and 18 teachers altogether. The new batch of first year students starting in April the next month was expected to have only 2 classes too.

Being a small community had its advantages too though. Teachers and students alike were well bonded with each other, allowing the students to be able to comfortably approach their teachers for help or give feedback on their teaching methods. Teachers will understand how to make school more enjoyable for students so students in Otonokizaka are able to enjoy their school lives while obtaining good grades. There's also the perk of having a less than crowded cafeteria during break period.

Among the small crowd of teachers, Kotori stood among them. She had a smile on her face, a kind of smile that made Umi's heart soar. Even as the teachers dispersed back to their tables, some staying back to clean up the confetti and streamers, her eyes lingered on the retreating form of one Minami Kotori. The ash-grey hair fluttering across her back, the green ribbon tying her hair up in an odd ponytail. Her outfit, professional yet fashionable, showed off all the right places of the slim body beneath it. The skirt leading down to slender-

Smack!

A hard clap on her back snapped Umi out of her thoughts and knocked the wind out of her. Umi whipped her head around to find Eli, a fellow teacher who was also her best friend and one year her senior.

When Umi had first transferred into the school, the two had butted heads a lot. The blonde had infuriatingly high standards with her students, even criticising Umi for her lower expectations for the students. After accidentally bumping into Eli's best friend, Nozomi, one day, she then found out that the reason Eli had set such impossibly high standards for all her students was because of a student she had once who although had studied so hard, did not do well enough to get into the school of her choice. Eli would never forget the never-ending tears and the disappointed slump in her figure. From then on she had vowed never to fail another student again. Better understanding Eli, Umi was able to eventually befriend her after several events and had even been a part of helping her to finally get together with Nozomi, but that was a story for another time.

Eli was smirking as she glanced at Kotori before looking innocently back at Umi. A look which Umi interpreted as cunning.

"Umi, are you free tonight?"

Umi looked at Eli with suspicion but replied with a positive. There was definitely something her senior was planning but what...

"Okay, see you at 6!" Eli walked off with a wave. However, before Umi could question her, the bell rang, signalling that classes would start in five minutes. She had to hurry off to her own class before she was late.

At the end of school, Umi felt pretty satisfied with her day. The heartfelt messages sent to her in the morning, the unexpected surprise by the teachers, a few students had wished her a happy birthday too though not many knew about it. Now she had to worry about what her best friend was planning for her for that evening. Unsure where her friend was bringing her to, she wore something smart but casual.

Her doorbell rang a bit after 6p.m. which was odd, Eli being a firm believer of punctuality and all. Umi opened the door to find the blonde and her girlfriend waiting for her. Nozomi wished her a happy birthday and Umi half-heartedly thanked her, her attention on other things. Namely, their clothes which were dishevelled and the guilty smiles they wore on their faces. Umi didn't even want to guess what they had been doing beforehand...

Umi was ushered into the car by the other two women. She wasn't told where they were going and was left wondering as she was driven around the city. She doubted that they were going to a bar, Nozomi would never let herself watch Eli getting hit on by others. Unless, they were really desperate in trying to hook her up with someone...

Her guessing was put to a rest as the car stopped outside a decent looking family restaurant. Both her other friends were outside waiting for her, greeting her heartily as she stepped out of the car. They weren't that big a group, but she loved her close friends very dearly.

The first person who came up to wish her a happy birthday was Nico.

Nico was the same age as Eli and Nozomi whom she had been best friends with since high school. The two had met Eli in college when Nozomi was intrigued by the cold beauty and couldn't help but befriend her despite Nico's adamant protests. In the end, it had all worked out okay. Umi had met Nico shortly after meeting the two best friends who were now girlfriends.

Maki was next to wish her a happy birthday.

Maki was smart, beautiful, a talented musician, but she had problems showing her true feelings. She was also what you would call a tsundere, her striking red hair suiting her stubborn personality well. She was a year younger than Umi and had met the older three trio in their last year of college. She often argued with Nico over even the most trivial things but it was obvious to everyone but themselves that they both held strong feelings for each other. Despite their constant quarrelling, they support each other in times of need and in pursuing their respective dreams. Umi may try her matchmaking abilities out on these two one day.

The five of them entered the family restaurant, greeted by the chime of a bell, and were seated at the huge round table smack dab in the middle of the restaurant. Eli sat to the left of Umi, Nozomi sitting between her and Nico and beside Nico sat Maki. What confused Umi was the empty seat between her and Maki.

"Uhm, it seems they have gotten us an extra seat, should we move it away?" Umi questioned. Her only reply was mischievous grins and a poorly hidden snicker from Nozomi. However, before she could further question their obvious ulterior motives, the answer appeared when she heard the bell by the door chiming again, signalling a new arrival.

In stepped the daughter of Umi's boss, a woman passionate about teaching and fashion design, famous among both teachers and students for her benevolence, oh and did she mention, the woman whom she currently has a massive crush on?

Umi could only gape openly at the newcomer as she walked towards their table. It was the first time she saw Kotori outside of school and Umi could definitely say that she looked absolutely stunning in her outside clothes.

She would look better without it too.

Umi gasped loudly and ashamedly slapped her cheeks to cover the furious, red hot blush forming on them. H-How indecent of me...

Her actions seemed to confuse everyone but Nozomi who seemed to know everything and only laughed at her misery.

"Umi-chan, are you okay?"

Umi turned around to find herself face to face with the object of her affections and eyes filled with worry directed at her. Umi felt her face heat up even more and almost fell off the chair if not for Eli catching her from behind. Umi has never desperately wished for the earth beneath her to open up and swallow her as much as she had before. It hasn't even been a minute in the presence of her crush and she had already managed to make a fool of herself twice. How was she going to survive the entire evening?

Umi's breath hitched for the fifth time that evening as Kotori's arm brushed against hers while moving to grab some food to put on her emptied plate. Umi felt hopeless as she couldn't say a single word to the woman beside her. Whenever she tried to, her mind would go blank and she wouldn't know what to talk about.

Instead, she turned to talk to Eli. But her best friend was already busy flirting with her girlfriend and Umi couldn't really disturb them, even if she tried to. Umi sighed and continued pushing around the bits of food left on her plate with her chopsticks. She nearly jumped out of her seat when her name was called out by a sweet angelic voice.

"Umi-chan?" Kotori asked, unsure if she was able to get the other woman's attention from the lack of reply.

"Y-y-yes!?" Umi squeaked out, totally unprepared to talk to her crush. She had been planning to never speak to her again after all. At least, not until her darned feelings had faded away. Curse her meddlesome friends for doing this to her. She forced her steaming hot face to cool down, saying in a much calmer and more polite manner, "Is there anything I may help you with?"

This seemed to fluster the cherubic angel beside her for some reason and she stuttered in response. "O-oh, I was just wondering if you were enjoying your birthday so far?"

Umi felt delighted that the woman was actually interested in hearing about her day. Through years of discipline, she trampled her feelings of overexcitement down and replied to the question with sincerity. Kotori seemed satisfied with her answer and carried on asking more questions. One topic led to another, and soon they were talking like old buddies after a long time apart. Umi let herself fall deeper into the bliss of talking to the other woman, forgetting why she had stopped talking to her in the first place. The different conversations around the table soon combined to one and they became quite the boisterous bunch.

After their main course, a huge cake was brought out. Everyone sang her the happy birthday song. They each thoroughly enjoyed a slice of the sweet and savoury chocolate cake. Umi found out that Kotori's favourite dessert was cheesecake (Umi made a mental note of this for Kotori's birthday way later in the year in September).

Then, it was time for presents. Umi had already long passed that age of being excited for presents but it was always still nice to get free gifts. Nozomi and Eli were first to hand her their shared present, Eli's face flushed as she stuttered to explain that the gift had completely been Nozomi's idea. Maki and Nico were next, handing their respective presents to her at the same time.

Finally, Kotori handed her a paper bag, instructing her to open it immediately instead of at home. Umi held the paper bag in her hands, staring quizzically at it for a moment. She could smell something sweet coming from inside the bag, something familiar. She reached in and felt a few soft bun-like objects.

Pulling one out, her eyes widened in astonishment. It was... manjuu..? No, they were not just any manjuu, but her favourite ones from the Homura Bakery..! She hadn't eaten these in years! How did Kotori..? Umi looked up with much adoration in her eyes towards a bashful Kotori, their eyes locking. A smile that reached from ear to ear grew on her face and she thanked Kotori for the gift, their eyes still glued to each other's.

The moment was ruined when a loud double-clap was heard. "Alright, you guys. Save it for the room," Nico said with a wink. The two mentioned had indeed forgotten about the others with them. They blushed a furious deep red at the implication of Nico's words.

"We're not-!" "We aren't-!"

Both simultaneously spoke out in protest, interrupting the other. Umi looked at Kotori with sorrow although she had denied it too. It still hurt to hear it directly from the woman she likes even if they really weren't involved with each other. However, she instead hid her petty displeasure, squashing it down under a mask of indifference.

Dinner ended on a good note for Umi, in her opinion. She had managed to grow closer to Kotori (as friends), the food had been nice, the cake was fantastic, and she rediscovered her favourite food ever. All in all, she had a lot of fun.

All good things had to come to an end however, and soon it was time for them to go home. Umi trailed Nozomi and Eli towards their car only to be stopped when she was about to get in.

"We're fetching Nicocchi and Maki-chan to their places so there's no space for you," Nozomi grinned at the betrayed look upon her friend's face.

"Then how do I get home?" Umi asked in a hurt and confused tone.

Still donning a roguish grin, Nozomi turned her gaze behind the aqua-haired girl. Following Nozomi's line of sight, Umi's eyes fell upon a sheepish Kotori standing beside a sleek red car. Realisation slapped Umi in her face as she finally understood that her friends had been planning for this the whole time. She was stuck between a mix of gratefulness and annoyance as she watched her friends drive off without her, leaving her alone with her fellow teacher.

Umi fidgeted restlessly with her hands in the shotgun seat. An awkward silence, interrupted only by direction instructions, had spread throughout the air between them ever since they were left alone with just the two of them. Umi felt like she had to say something but she wasn't exactly the most socially capable person to exist. She left it up to Kotori to start the conversation, again, and instead stared out the window aimlessly.

Her eyes immediately focused upon a tiny droplet of water that had fallen onto the window with a "plip". Part of it trickled down a few inches, leaving a trail of clear transparent liquid on the glass. Right after, another one joined in, falling to the right of the first droplet. And then another, and another, and another. Soon, it started to pour and the windshield wipers were turned on.

Umi turned her attention to the driver. Kotori had a worried expression on her face as she held a focus gaze on the road. It was starting to rain cats and dogs, the rain drops heavily pelting against the car windows. Is she going to be alright driving home in this weather?

Familiar scenery distorted through the heavy downpour entered Umi's sights as the car turned into her neighbourhood. Umi gestured towards her house and the vehicle came to a halt right outside. Kotori dug through the space under the back seats and pulled out a bright green umbrella, offering it to Umi for the short trip between the car and the house.

Umi reached for it, paused, took a deep breath, and pushed it away. Kotori looked at her quizzically and Umi had to muster all the courage she could to ask, "Would you like to come in to wait out the rain?"

Bracing herself for rejection, Umi was shocked to hear Kotori say yes. Entering the house, Umi told Kotori to make herself at home as she went into the kitchen to make some hot tea for her guest, in the meanwhile bringing out some snacks to go with the tea too. Umi re-entered the living room to see Kotori who was examining the place and in the middle of perusing a framed photograph of a rough-looking seventeen year old Umi with her friends resting on the shelf. Umi immediately panicked, hoping that she had not left anything embarrassing lying around. Thankfully, it seemed that she hadn't.

Umi set the tray with the tea and snacks on it onto the table, the sound seemingly startling her guest who immediately whipped her head around and, looking quite like a deer caught in the headlights, started apologizing profusely for invading her privacy. She was stopped when she heard laughter coming from the other woman.

Kotori stared at the laughing form in front of her, stunned. She had never heard the strict and uptight teacher laughing before, and she wasn't sure if she wanted it to be her last time hearing it. The sound stirred a tingling sensation in her stomach, a good sort of tingling. She was broken out of her trance when Umi started to speak.

"You may not believe it, but I used to be a delinquent back then," Umi chuckled. Honest and disciplined Umi-chan, a delinquent? Kotori could barely believe it. Her thoughts may have been reflected on her face because Umi then started to explain, "Some things happened and I quit being one. That's why I'm so strict with my students. I don't want the same thing to happen to them." Umi face turned dark. "I won't let it..."

Umi had a faraway look. Kotori didn't like it. She looked... sad.

Umi quickly recovered from her sad musing gaze and offered her guest a seat on the couch. They made small talk here and there but mostly sat in silence, consuming the tea and snacks. Umi ate the manjuu Kotori had given her and had very much enjoyed the delicious confection to Kotori's delight.

An hour passed and the heavy downpour had not let off. Looking at the clock, it was half an hour before midnight. It was definitely too late for Kotori to be driving home in the rain when it was so dark. Definitely. Umi made up her mind.

"Minami-san-"

"Calling me just Kotori is fine."

"T-then... Kotori...-san?"

"Umi-chan, it's just Ko-to-ri."

"A-alright... K-K-Kotori, would you like to stay over tonight?"

"Okay!"

"R-really?"

"Yup! Thank you, Umi-chan!"

"H-huh?"

And so, that's how Umi ended up lying in her bed with her crush only centimetres away, 10 minutes before the end of this very special Tuesday.

No, wait. Why were they sleeping together on the same bed? Well.

Umi had offered Kotori her bed while she took the couch. She couldn't let her guest sleep so uncomfortably, could she? However, Kotori, the kind soul, would not allow Umi to sleep on the couch, not when she was the one intruding. Umi later found out that refusing Kotori when she gave her best puppy eyes and an added "Umi-chan, please!" was impossible. Thus, they had both ended up on the same bed.

It was difficult for Umi to calm herself down enough to fall asleep when she could turn around and literally be nose to nose with her crush. This closeness also allowed her to feel Kotori's constant fidgeting behind her. Was Kotori actually uncomfortable with this?

Umi nearly jumped out of her skin when smooth bare arms snaked around her waist and a soft body pressed against her back. Umi's entire body immediately stiffened, not used to physical affection of any sort. Her heart pounded loudly against her chest. What is Kotori doing!?

As if sensing her discomfort, Kotori removed her arms almost immediately after. Umi almost missed the warmth around her after it was gone. Almost. She turned to look bewilderedly at Kotori who had an apologetic look on her face.

"I'm so sorry, Umi-chan. You see, I have this special pillow that I always go to sleep with so it's really hard for me to sleep without it and um... You just looked so warm and soft and... I just reached out without thinking..." Kotori rambled on in embarrassment.

"I don't mind..." Umi mumbled, but Kotori couldn't quite catch as it was too soft so she requested for Umi to repeat it.

"I don't mind... If it helps you to sleep better," Umi turned her back to Kotori right after saying that to hide her bright red face that she was sure would be visible even in the dark. She could still hear the adorable squeal of joy behind her and feel the (re)wrapping of arms around her body. As she drifted off into sleep, she thought of what an eventful day it had been.

Happy birthday, me...

Bonus:

Umi took out the presents she had gotten from her friends. She was going to open them while waiting for Kotori to wash up.

First were Nico and Maki's presents. Maki had given Umi a book that she had wanted for awhile but had been too expensive for her to buy. Thank you rich Maki.

Nico's present was a whole set of clothes which was to be expected. The small woman had been complaining about her fashion sense for weeks. Thankfully, the outfit was mostly a dark blue, her favourite colour, and was quite plain. Knowing the woman, Umi suspected that Nico must have been very tempted to buy something pink and flashy instead.

Finally was NozoEli's present. Remembering their actions when they had handed Umi the gift, Umi felt the urge to throw away the box instead of opening it. She could not do that however, and cautiously unwrapped the red ribbon tied around the purple box. Peeking inside, she saw pieces of silky looking cloth inside. Pulling the first one out, she noticed that it was dark blue. Suddenly, her face burned hot as she noticed that what she was holding in her hands was a skimpy piece of lingerie. Pulling the other piece of clothes out from the box, it was a perfectly matching grey piece of lingerie. At the bottom of the box was a note. It read: Hope you enjoy your gift ;)

Hearing the door open, Umi panicked and quickly stuffed all the gifts under her bed, just in time for an innocent Kotori to enter the room.

A/N: Happy birthday Umi~! So this was supposed to be a one shot but it kind of turned into a multi-chapter story, or at least I plan to have more chapters. The story also kind of deviated from the summary a little I think since I wrote the summary first. Hope I didn't disappoint you...

Honoka, Rin and Hanayo hasn't shown up yet but they will in a few chapters haha (whenever that is). They have their own fics that I'm kind of crossing over with this? But you don't have to read all of them to understand each story. I think I'm planning way too many fanfictions for me to handle at the moment but I just keep getting so many great ideas!

Also I'm sorry if the writing seems weird but this was kind of rushed? And also someone please give me tips on how to write dialogue because I am not very good at it.

As always, constructive critiscm welcome!

[tried-to-write]

No seriously guys, comment on peoples fic.

Writers as desperate for comments. Desperate. 

I’m in a writing group with around 40 people and one of the common reasons people don’t post their work is because “no one ever comments on it, so no one is reading it” which blows because their work is amazing and instead it’s sitting in storage.

Comments lead to posting more fic. Trust me. 

[tried-to-write]

Untitled NozoEli Story

Pairing: NozoEli (I may add some other pairings in the future idk)

Summary: Nozomi confesses but runs away before Eli can reply. Years later they meet unexpectedly but this time Nozomi can’t run away again. Will they confront their feelings or will they just pretend that the confession never happened? (wow i wrote this when i was half asleep at 7am)

Chapter: 3/?

Links to alternate websites if you don’t like reading on tumblr: AO3 FFnet

A puff of warm air escaped her lips as Eli let out a bored sigh. Her flight to Japan was being delayed due to an unexpected heavy snowstorm. She had been sitting in the airport’s cafeteria for about two hours and was running out of ideas to pass the time. At this rate, she would definitely be late for her meeting. She let out another long sigh as she slumped down in her seat.

“Ah!”

The two women stared disbelievingly at each other. Was it really..?

Their staring match was broken by a loud beeping sound. The Star Magazine representative (who is presumably Takashi from the call yesterday), sensing the tension filling the room, hastily took his phone out to read his new message.

“Well it seems that Lia-san is reaching soon and I’ll be going down to collect her. Since you two seem to know each other, I’ll leave the two of you to catch up.” With that, Takashi quickly left the room.

Nozomi sheepishly walked up to the familiar woman, unsure of how she would react to Nozomi’s sudden appearance in Japan again. She had definitely not been prepared when two warm arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her in for a tight hug.

“You idiot! How could you leave without telling me anything? Do you know how worried we were? How worried I was?“

Nico gripped her blouse tightly and Nozomi could feel her blouse turn damp. Guilt stabbed her heart as she saw how much she had hurt her friend (are they even still friends?) when she left. When her parents had called her while the heartache was still fresh, she hadn’t really thought about the consequences of her leaving. Now she could see how selfish she had been. She could have called at least once or twice in the past 8 years but she had been afraid. Afraid of what, she wasn’t really sure.

She gently returned the hug, softly apologising for her selfish actions.

“I’m sorry I did that but I’m back now and I’m not leaving. Forgive me?”

Nico slowly nodded and they remained in that position for a while before Nico pushed herself away from Nozomi’s body. Her cheeks were slightly pink from crying but also with embarrassment. Knowing that she was now forgiven, she couldn’t help but tease the smaller woman.

“Aww Nicocchi, did you miss me that much?” Nozomi cheekily grinned as she pulled Nico back for another hug.

“Of course I did,” Nico immediately muttered in reply, cutely pouting.

Not expecting such an answer from her tsundere friend, Nozomi couldn’t help but swoon at the adorable sight before her.

Just then, they heard a click from the far end of the room. They turned their heads towards the door only to see a stunned Kotori gaping at them. The little bird’s gaze flickered back and forth between the two women in confusion, lingering at the sight of Nozomi a bit longer.

“Eh? What’s going on..?”

Eli plopped down into the somewhat comfy seat after stuffing her belongings into the compartment above. After waiting for three hours, she was finally able to board her plane. She watched one of the on-flight movies before deciding to sleep through the rest of the flight.

Ever since her manager told her of the job, old memories had resurfaced and she was quite nervous yet excited to go back to Japan. As a result, her past few nights had been a bit restless and she was pretty tired.

Would she meet her past friends again? Maybe not, Japan was quite big after all. She should maybe visit Otonokizaka High on one of her free days to see how its doing. Maybe she’ll meet Kotori or her mother. Maybe she should arrange a reunion for µ’s if all of them were in Japan.

It was these thoughts she fell asleep to as she buried her face into the small pillow provided.

“So Nozomi-chan is going to be the photographer?”

“Yep.”

“Oh… Wow, that’s such a coincidence! But uhm… why do you look like you were crying then, Nico-chan?”

“T-that’s because–!”

Nozomi giggled at Nico’s embarrassed spluttering but was only half listening to their conversation as she took in the changes in her new colleagues.

Nico had ditched her childish twintails in favour of just letting her hair down. Unfortunately for her it seems, her body had not grown an inch in the last 8 years. Aside from that though, Nico has really matured in both appearance and personality.

Kotori seems to have kept the same hairstyle throughout the years. She had grown quite a bit and was starting to look quite like her mother. She had the same warm and kind aura and although she looked much more mature, she still had the same innocence as she did when they were school idols.

She was snapped out of her thoughts when she realised that her name was being called by the other two occupants of the room. She sheepishly scratched the back of her neck, “I’m sorry, could you repeat that again?”

“What happened to you after graduation?”

Nozomi started to sweat nervously. Should she tell them?

“Well, I missed my parents so I went to Germany to live with them again before going to college. After that I came back to Japan to become a photographer,” Nozomi blurted out the first plausible excuse she could think of. It wasn’t a complete lie but it wasn’t the full truth either. She would never have ditched all her friends for 8 years to be with her parents in Germany.

Kotori nodded and seemed to accept her explanation but Nico just narrowed her eyes at her, knowing that Nozomi was not telling the whole truth. Before Nico could open her mouth to further question her, the door burst open and Takashi came in at a brisk walk. Nozomi felt her heart stop as behind him followed two blondes, one oh so painfully familiar and the other not. Beside her, the fashion duo’s eyes widened comically as Nozomi weakly said,

“Elicchi…”

Eli was rushed into the cab by her manager. They had arrived right at 7am and were late for their meeting. Luckily, their hotel was on the way so they were able to quickly drop off their luggage first. The Star Magazine rep was already waiting for them at the entrance to the building when they arrived. On the way up, he informed them that the others had already arrived but were only catching up with each other so they haven’t really missed anything important.

Eli stopped dead in her tracks when she walked into Meeting Room 04. Her eyes focused straight onto the pony-tailed woman in front of her who visibly froze.

Nozomi…

A/N: I'm sorry I took so long to update this and it's so short. I kept rewriting this chapter because I don't really feel very satisifed with my writing in this chapter but I'm not sure how to improve it further either so... Constructive criticsm welcome!

Ugh I know I said I would update this like a week ago and I actually did finish writing this last week but I have really been too busy to upload this since school started and considering how it's only the second week of school and I feel like dying already, I may not be able to update any time soon. I'll try my best to write the next chapter in my free time though (which is really only when I'm travelling to school). Another reason I'm taking so long to write this story is because I keep thinking up so many other AUs for various Love Live pairings and I just have to write those too (although they're all stuck at chapter 1 oops) so look forward to them! (If I ever finish them)

That being said, thank you guys for all of your support for this story! I really didn't think anybody would like it at all so thanks so much guys! T^T

Also big thank you to my bff tried-to-art for (sort of) beta-ing this for me despite how busy she is too! (I say sort of because she only helps to check that the story makes sense so any grammatical errors or other wrong things are my fault)

[tried-to-write]

writer woes

trying to write characters who know a lot about something you know nothing about and are immensely confused by when you try to do research

trying to write characters from other countries without making them either a corny stereotype or just another native of your own location

trying to write characters who need to know something for plot purposes but have to way or reason to know it

trying to write characters being sexy and not with your own preferences or favorite tropes/kinks

trying to write characters having an argument but no matter how long you batter the “loser” they keep coming up with comebacks

trying to write little kids without making them sound like little adults or falling into the “me hungwy!” trap

trying to write characters physically interacting (fighting is awful.  why would characters fist-fight.  why is this so hard)

trying to write sexy dialogue/flirting when you A) have never flirted intentionally and B) have definitely never said anything sexy to anybody

trying to write a character who speaks a specific dialect of a specific country the way it was 100 years ago and EVERY WORD HAS TO BE PERFECT OR THE INTERNET WILL LAUGH AT YOU (anxiety is so fun)

trying to write characters

trying to write

SIGH

[tried-to-write]

Gun Terms for Writers

As someone who writes fics with action sequences and the use of guns, I thought maybe it would be helpful to pass some things on. Even though I’ve done lots of research and talked with family members (I live in WI which is a big hunting state and we have lots of guns), I still catch myself making mistakes with specific terms and their usage. Reading more James Bond fics lately, I catch others making mistakes also. So here is a little guide to help writers. 

A ‘clip’ is something that stores multiple rounds of ammunition. It is not what you would insert into a handgun to load it. Clips make loading into a magazine easier because they simply store the rounds. It helps with organization. 

A magazine is what feeds the ammunition into the barrel. Magazines vary in capacity. They, unlike clips, are spring-loaded, which helps the ammunition move in the gun. So, when you want a character to reload, they would use a pre-loaded magazine, NOT a clip. 

A silencer is really a suppressor. ‘Silencer’ is a word that’s used in media to refer to a suppressor that doesn’t exist in real life. Guns that are suppressed will still be loud and have a sound. This is because compressed air will still leak out of the end of the barrel, you can’t silence a bullet moving extremely fast through the air, and you can’t silence the mechanical parts on a gun. There will be a noise, but it just won’t be as loud or more importantly, alert people in a nearby area that a gun was just fired. SO suppressor is a much more accurate term technically speaking. 

There are different kinds of suppressors. One important kind suppresses the muzzle flash. It’s likely a sniper would use this more than they would want to use a sound suppressor, as the muzzle flash more easily enables you to be spotted when you don’t want to be. These are simply referred to as flash suppressors. 

After a handgun runs out of ammunition, the slide will lock back into place and you will know that it is out. There is no ‘click’ signifying an empty weapon that is so dramatized in movies and tv. A more likely scenario that would prevent a gun from firing would be a jam. Or programming the gun to recognize certain palm prints. 

A great place for writers, in particular fanfic writers, who want information on guns is imfdb. You can find out what guns are used in movies and shows, and what guns characters use. You can also just search for guns. 

If you want to get really specific, check out YouTube. There are users who will post reviews of guns on there, which can be really helpful if you want to see how a particular gun looks or how to shoot it. 

So yeah! Here are just a few basic tips if you want to write a fic where a character uses guns. 

[tried-to-write]

site that you can type in the definition of a word and get the word

site for when you can only remember part of a word/its definition 

site that gives you words that rhyme with a word

site that gives you synonyms and antonyms

[tried-to-write]

Life of a Writer

*stares at WIP*

Why do I even write? This is crap. Seriously.

*hours of writing/editing later*

I’m the next J.K. Rowling. For sure.

*reads back what I just wrote*

Why do I even write? This is crap. Seriously.

[tried-to-write]

Washi Washi Yes

Pairing: Slight NozoNico with a bit of NicoMaki and NozoEli if you squint.

Summary: Nico falls asleep during a tutoring session from Nozomi. Nozomi decides to punish Nico with her usual way but Nico unexpectedly likes it..? 

Oneshot

Links to alternate websites if you don’t like reading on tumblr: AO3 FFnet

The clubroom was dead silent except for the occasional clicking sounds coming from the mouse of the computer. Honoka and Hanayo were eagerly researching on other school idols with the computer, Maki was relaxing in a chair reading some light novel that was recommended to her by one of her classmates (yes, she does have friends outside µ's), Umi was playing an intense game of shogi with Eli, Kotori was diligently sketching some new designs for costumes and Rin was playing a rhythm game on her phone with her earpiece in, her face twisted into one of great focus. The only ones missing were Nico and Nozomi. Nozomi had volunteered to tutor Nico when she found out that the latter had failed her Math test, again, much to Nico's protest.

The peaceful silence was broken when the door burst open violently. Everyone jumped in surprise. Hanayo accidentally clicked on an ad on the website, Maki's book slipped out of her fingers onto the floor, Umi was jolted from her immense concentration and knocked the shogi board over, Eli scrambling to put back the shogi pieces that flew to her side of the table, Kotori ripped her paper while erasing an error and Rin cried out in utter despair, "Nooo! I almost got my full combo nya!" They all turned to glare at the cause of the disruption.

All of these were ignored by an obviously distressed Nico who stood at the doorway. Signs of having sprinted there showed in the way her hair stuck out in all directions, her wrinkled uniform, the sweat dripping down from her forehead and her heavy panting. She bolted into the room and immediately slammed the door shut, quickly trying to lock it. Her hands fumbled through her pockets in search of the keys. Left pocket, empty. Right pocket, also empty. A look of horror and despair marred her features when she realized that she had left the clubroom keys in her bag back in the classroom. She took a quick glance around the room to search for a hiding place and hurriedly leapt under the table while gesturing wildly to the rest of the members to keep their mouths shut. Everyone just looked at her with bewildered faces.

Seconds later, the door opened again, albeit more gently, and Nozomi entered the room with a haunting smile that spelled imminent death for a certain twin-tailed third year.

"Hey guys, do ya'll know where Nicocchi is?"

Everyone stiffly shook their heads.

"It isn't good to lie y'know?"

Nozomi made an even more terrifying face and made groping gestures with her hands. Everyone froze and cold sweat dripped down their faces.

Honoka was the first to break, having been victim of the infamous Washi Washi Max way too many times that she could almost feel those vicious hands harshly violating her chest. She abruptly stood up, her chair scraping noisily against the floor, and pointed to the table.

"She's under the table, sir!"

"Honoka, you traitor!"

"Shit, I didn't mean to!"

"Nicocchi?" Nozomi's tone held no shred of humanity in it and Nozomi reached down under the table and roughly grabbed her up from the arm. Everyone said a silent prayer for Nico.

"Ow ow! You don't have to pull so hard!"

The grip on her arm tightened.

"Well, it's because a certain Super Idol Nico-nii decided that it was a good idea to fall asleep while being specially tutored by me, otherwise we would still be in the classroom peacefully studying and you wouldn't be failing your tests." Nozomi answered accusingly.

"W-well t-that's because..." Nico could not think of a good comeback, probably because she was scared shitless. So, she did the only thing that only she would do in this kind of situation.

She held out her hands beside her face, her thumb, index finger and pinky finger pointing outwards, and said in a clearly strained overly cutesy voice,

"Nico nico nii~"

Everyone facepalmed at Nico's apparent stupidity. Something in Nozomi snapped and she roughly grabbed Nico's breasts to carry out her infamous Washi Washi Max. However, nobody expected what Nico would do next.

Nozomi squeezed Nico's breasts as hard as she could. Instead of letting out a scream of agony, Nico let out a moan of... pleasure?

Everyone's jaws dropped in shock. Even Nozomi was stunned speechless for once. Her grasp on Nico's chest started to loosen a bit.

All of a sudden, Nico grabbed Nozomi's hands and kept it firmly on her chest. Nico spoke in a soft tone and gave a slightly lustful version of puppy dog eyes,

"Nozomi... I-it feels really good, can you do it again?"

Everyone's thoughts were the same. What the fuck, Nico?

Nozomi tried to pull her hands away this time but Nico continued to hold them firmly against her breasts. Nozomi struggled even harder to pull her hands away but a part of her secretly desired to squeeze those soft petite breasts that were so different from her own huge ones again to hear the cute moan that was let out from her fellow third year's mouth. After a while of futile struggling, Nozomi gradually stopped her efforts to get away and even almost gave in to Nico's unusual request when someone interrupted their (sort of) moment.

"W-w-wait a minute. Nico-chan, you don't actually want her to touch you again, d-do you?" Maki stuttered her disapproval with this NozoNico pairing.

"Y-yeah, a-and Nozomi, you don't actually want to t-touch her again, right?" Eli voiced out her agreement with Maki on this, in her opinion, horrible pairing.

Hearing their reactions to the situation, Nozomi snapped out of her breast-induced trance and quickly removed her hands from Nico's slackened grip while she was still distracted by the two.

She absentmindedly muttered out, "I'm going to the toilet..." and promptly left the room, all the while staring disbelievingly at her hands, mouth agape. Everyone stared at her leaving before Eli spluttered out, "I n-need to go to the toilet too!" and quickly went to chase after her best friend, the slam of the door after she left resonating throughout the otherwise silent room. Everyone turned to gawk at Nico, their questioning gazes demanding an answer to what the heck just happened.

To everyone's surprise, Nico burst into laughter, slapping her thigh.

"Oh my god, that was so hilarious! I think I'm even crying!" She wiped imaginary tears from her eyes as she continued to guffaw loudly. Even after her stomach started to hurt from laughing too much, she still didn't stop. Everyone just stared confusedly at her. After a while, Nico calmed down slightly although she was still giggling a bit and spoke up again.

"Oh man, you should have seen your faces! You guys had this really WTF face, I wish I brought a camera! I should really consider becoming an actress in the future!" Nico burst out in laughter again after finishing her mini speech.

It took a few moments for the meaning of Nico's words to sink into their brains and Maki was the first to react.

"What the hell were you thinking? Don't scare me like that, you idiot!"

Maki slammed her thick novel on Nico's head and stomped out of the room.

"Ow! What was that for?" Nico exclaimed, rubbing her head tenderly where it had been hit. She walked out of the room and went to find Maki to find out what her damn problem was.

Everyone else sweat-dropped.

___________________________

Bonus:

Eli found Nozomi in the nearby toilet. She was staring blankly at her hands while muttering incoherently to herself and would occasionally curl her fingers together as if she was grabbing something round. Just as Eli decided to reach out to ask Nozomi what was wrong, she heard her say in a quiet whisper, "So soft…"

Eli deflated and looked down at her own chest.

I wonder if it's possible to make them smaller…

___________________________

A/N: What did I just write even. Lolidk the idea just came to me randomly and I decided hey why not. This story isn't meant to be serious in any way :D

P.S. The title is an example of my horrible naming skills.

[tried-to-write]

ayyy thanks for the cover art yo :D it beautiful

based on a friend’s AU where nozomi is a photographer and eli is a model

link to fic https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10992290/1/Untitled-NozoEli-Story

tried-to-write <-her tumblr

[tried-to-write]

Untitled NozoEli Story

Pairing: NozoEli (I may add some other pairings in the future idk)

Summary: Nozomi confesses but runs away before Eli can reply. Years later they meet unexpectedly but this time Nozomi can’t run away again. Will they confront their feelings or will they just pretend that the confession never happened? (wow i wrote this when i was half asleep at 7am)

Chapter: 2/?

Links to alternate websites if you don’t like reading on tumblr: AO3 FFnet

-8 years later-

 "Could you tiltyour head up a bit more? And move your hand just slightly to the left. Yeah,just like that! That's great!" Nozomi shouted out orders as the modelin front of her complied and changed her pose accordingly. 

 Nozomi quickly took some pictures when the model got into the right position, the noise of the camera shutters drowned out by the surrounding hustle and bustle of the crew. 

 "And... that's a wrap!"

 Nozomi turned off her camera and placed it into the leather pouch slung around her neck. She went forward to shake the model's hand, the latter doing the same. 

 The model had lustrous brown wavy hair that cascaded past her shoulders, stopping right below her breasts. Her large eyes were a bright lime green, emphasized by the light purple eye shadow and violet eyeliner applied wonderfully by the makeup artist. She had a cute button nose with full lips curving up to reveal dimples. Her cheeks were covered with a light pink blush. She wore a strapless frilly satin green dress that reached down to right below her knees, revealing smooth spotless skin, and long legs that led to beige high heels which matched her skin tone and made her slightly taller than Nozomi.

 “It was nice working with you, Toujou-san,” the model said as they shook hands. “You were a pleasure to work with too, Izumi-han,” Nozomi good-naturedly replied.

 “If you don’t mind, would you like to join me and some of my colleagues for dinner tonight?” Izumi asked when they separated.

 Nozomi thought about it for a while. Well, why not?

______________________

Nozomi settled down on the comfy leather couch in her living room, glad to finally be able to rest her tired aching feet after a long tiring day at work. Dinner had ended up a bit crazy with most of them getting drunk and one of them had even tried to hit on her. The yakiniku there was great though. I should visit again some other time. 

 She propped her feet up on the wooden coffee table in front of the couch while simultaneously picking up the TV remote controller lying beside a bowl of apples on the table to turn on her Samsung UHD television, the speakers on both sides of it automatically turning on at the same time. She took an apple and bit out a sizable chunk as she flipped channels. It gave out a loud, satisfying crunch that prompted Nozomi to continue biting into it. By the time she found a channel she liked, she had already finished eating the apple, save the core which she expertly threw into the nearby dustbin. The advertisements had just came on when her phone rang, its ringtone permeating through the noise coming from the television. Nozomi groaned in displeasure. She had left her phone on the bedside table in her bedroom and was too lazy to go answer it after getting so comfortable on her couch. After a few seconds of incessant ringing, Nozomi decided that it could be an important call and went to pick up her phone. She turned off the television and slowly got up. She immediately missed the comfort of her couch and could feel the ache return to her feet again. She trudged into her bedroom and grabbed the phone vibrating on the table. She plopped down on her bed as she pressed the button to answer the call.

 "Hello? This is Toujou Nozomi speaking." Nozomi fought to keep a professional tone instead of just shouting at the person on the other side of the line for disturbing her rest time.

 "Good evening, Toujou-san. Sorry to disturb you so late. I am Takashi Yamato from Star Magazine and we are looking for talented photographers like you to join us for a photo-shoot taking place next month. You would be working with a new and upcoming model from Russia, Lia, and, the also recently starting fashion designer duo, NiTori. There will be a meeting tomorrow morning for you to get acquainted with each other. We will also be discussing more details about the photo-shoot. If you are interested, please tell me your email address and I will send an email containing all the necessary details about the meeting later."

 Nozomi perked up at this. Star Magazine was really popular among teenagers these days. Not to mention, NiTori's clothes had shown up on a few fashion magazines she had seen and she had to admit that they were really good. Nobody knows how they look like or who they are since they refuse to reveal their identity though. 

 This was quite a last minute arrangement but this was also the golden opportunity for her career and Nozomi could not refuse. She told Yamato her email address and heard the faint sounds of lead scratching on paper from the other end. 

 "Thank you very much! I shall email you the details in a short while. Have a good day.”

 Nozomi let out a huge sigh when she heard the monotonous beeping coming from the earpiece indicating that the caller had hung up. A few minutes later, her phone buzzed as it received a notification that she had a new email. 

 She opened it up and began to skim through the email. Her eyes almost bulged out in surprise as she noticed the time the meeting would start. 

 7am?! That's way too early! And the place isn't that near either, Nozomi mentally complained. 

 Nozomi was not going to pass up this job anytime soon though. She put her phone back on the table and leaned back onto the headboard. She stared blankly at the ceiling.

 I guess I should do some research on Lia and NiTori.

 Nozomi looked up to glance at her laptop sitting on the white work table on the opposite end of the room and felt the ache in her feet return tenfold.

 Or maybe not…

 Nozomi felt her eyes begin to droop. She felt really sleepy all of a sudden. She laid down on the bed and pulled the covers over her body. Closing her eyes and snuggling deeper into her pillow, she drifted off to sleep.

 I’ll do a search on them tomorrow…

______________________

Oh no! It’s already 6.15am!

 Nozomi quickly got into the bathroom to have a quick shower and brush her teeth. When she was done, she quickly put on a plain black blouse with a light beige cotton skirt and dashed out of the house, almost forgetting to lock the door. She mentally cursed herself for not getting a driver’s license as she tried to hail a taxi. A few taxis passed by her before she finally got one to stop. She told the driver her destination as she hastily got in.

 When she arrived, she passed him a bunch of bills, telling him to keep the change as she quickly ran into the building. A security guard stopped her but let her go after Nozomi told him what she was there for. She spotted the lift door closing in the distance. She sprinted there as fast as she could and stuck her foot between the doors just in time to prevent it from fully closing. She was thankful as the doors slowly opened again that there was no one else in the lift that could see how crazy she looked with her hair and clothes in a mess. She glanced down at her watch. 6.55am. Good, I still have 5 minutes left. Nozomi took the time to tidy up her appearance and make herself presentable for the meeting.

 She smoothened down the hair that stuck up from the mad dash earlier and took out her red hair tie from her right pocket. She combed through her hair with her fingers before tying it up with the red hair tie. She then took out two equally red clips from her left pocket and clipped up her fringe that had been covering her right eye. She straightened her blouse with one hand and used her other hand to smoothen out any wrinkles that had formed on it. 

 The lift let out a ‘ding!’ as it reached her designated floor. She stepped out of the lift and took her time searching for the meeting room, giving herself more time to calm her breathing. Soon, she found the door that had a brass plate on it with the words Meeting Room 04 engraved on it. She took another peek at her watch. 6.59am, just in time.

 She felt her hands shake as she reached out to open the door. She was starting to get nervous but she ignored it. She took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

Her eyes widened when she saw the familiar figure in front of her.

______________________

A/N: I love cliffhangers, don't you? Sry for taking so long to update tho, school's been kind of a bitch y'know? (i s2g i literally spend more time in sch than at home)

Uhm I don't really know anything about fashion or make-up so if their clothes or make-up are kinda weird then yeah sry... Constructive criticism welcomed :D

[tried-to-write]

Untitled NozoEli Story

Pairing: NozoEli (I may add some other pairings in the future idk)

Summary: Nozomi confesses but runs away before Eli can reply. Years later they meet unexpectedly but this time Nozomi can't run away again. Will they confront their feelings or will they just pretend that the confession never happened? (wow i wrote this when i was half asleep at 7am)

Chapter: 1/?

Links to alternate websites if you don’t like reading on tumblr: AO3 FFnet

It was early in the evening and the sun was starting to set. Only the top half of the sun peeked out from the horizon and lit the sky with a bright orange glow. It was late April and it was the last day of school for the third years. 

  Two long-time best friends were walking home together from Otonokizaka High for presumably the last time after a mini graduation party hosted by the new student council president and her vice presidents. The whole of μ's was there to attend the party along with other specially invited guests such as their various family members and Hideko, Fumiko and Mika. 

  The third year trio had a pleasant surprise when they walked into the rearranged clubroom to find all their friends there to celebrate their graduation and was thankful for the party.

  Soon it was late in the afternoon and they had to leave the school to go home lest they be locked in. The members of μ's decided to walk home together for one last time while the rest went on ahead. They chatted happily about various things as the group of nine walked home together. 

  As they reached a fork in the path, Nozomi and Eli had to split from the rest to go home. They all shared a hug as they held back restrained tears to prevent the moment from turning into a bawling event. 

  As the lively chatter from the other seven faded out, the two best friends settled into a comfortable silence. Usually, they would be talking about random things but they felt like they should appreciate the peacefulness this time instead.

  It wasn't long before they reached the next section where they had to split. Nozomi spoke up, surprising Eli who had also just opened her mouth to say goodbye. 

  "Ericchi, I..." Nozomi paused and bit her lip, clearly hesitant to continue. She took a deep breath to calm herself down. "I have something to tell you." She said in a more serious tone.

  Eli frowned at the serious look on her usually playful best friend's face. 

  "What is it, Nozomi? You can tell me anything," Eli said in an attempt to comfort her friend in some way.

  "P-promise me, Ericchi, promise me that no matter what you won't hate me?"

  Eli felt worried. Nozomi sounded genuinely scared that she would destroy their friendship with what she was about to reveal. It must be a really serious thing, Eli thought, but whatever it is, I'm sure that it wouldn't change anything.

  "I promise that whatever you say, I won't hate you." Eli replied with a confident smile. She was, however, not prepared for what Nozomi was about to say next. 

  "Ericchi... I... I love you! And not in the best friends way either!"

  "... E-eh?"

  "I... I want to hold you and touch you and kiss you and do all the other things lovers do together!" Nozomi blurted out, months of pent up emotion finally being let out. 

  Eli was speechless. She had not expected that at all. Nozomi's sudden confession had stunned her and she had no idea how to react.

  Nozomi took Eli's lack of reaction as rejection. Tears started leaking from her eyes and she hastily turned around and ran. 

  Eli stood rooted at her spot, staring blankly at the purple haired girl's back as she ran further and further away from her until she disappeared into the horizon. Eli wanted to run after her but she herself did not know her own feelings and wouldn't know what to say if she did catch up to her. 

  Eli snapped out of her confusion after a while and decided to go back home. Her mind replayed the scene that had just occurred over and over again. 

  When she reached home, she half-heartedly greeted Arisa who had been eagerly waiting for her return as she trudged up the stairs to her bedroom. Arisa was left with a slightly hurt and confused look which the older blonde did not notice. 

  Questions were raging furiously throughout Eli's mind, the most prominent one being 'Do I love Nozomi the same way?'

 ______________________

  This question repeated itself in Eli's head while she lay in bed face up, arm on her forehead as she stared at the ceiling trying to figure out an answer to the question refusing to leave her alone. 

  She thought back to her earlier conversation with Arisa after dinner. 

  "Nee-chan, are you okay?"

  "Ah? Yeah I'm fine."

  "Are you sure? You've been acting weirdly since you've got home."

  "Y-yeah it's nothing. I'm just... Thinking about something."

  There was silence between them for a moment before Arisa suddenly exclaimed, slamming a fist down on her other open hand. 

  "Ah, I got it now! You got in a fight with Nozomi nee-chan didn't you?"

  "H-huh? What m-makes you say that? I-I have n-no idea what you're t-talking about."

  Eli stuttered out in defense, nervously looking away. Arisa just smiled proudly. 

  "Ah-ha! I knew it! You only look this distressed when it has something to do with Nozomi nee-chan. What is it? You can tell me anything."

  Arisa looked up at Eli with big, shining eyes, expectantly waiting for her older sister to spill her troubles. Eli could only blush as she wondered, is Nozomi really that important to me?

  Eli turned to look at Arisa and gave a defeated sigh. Knowing how persistent her sister was, she wouldn't leave her alone unless she told her what happened. 

  "You see... Today when we were walking home, she kind of told me... a secret... about herself and I'm not sure how I feel about it and she maybe, kind of... ran off... because she thought I hated her..."

  Eli slowly spoke, rephrasing the situation as best as she could to not reveal too much. Her sister had her head down, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed, thinking deeply about what Eli had said before suddenly opening her eyes and looking up with a frown. She dramatically pointed at Eli.

  "Onee-chan!"

  Startled by her sister's outburst, Eli immediately sat up straight.

  "Y-yes!"

  "You should apologize to Nozomi nee-chan!"

  "H-huh?"

  "For three years she's been your best friend and only friend, might I add, until μ's came along, how could you let such a silly thing ruin your friendship? She told you a secret right? She must have needed to gather a lot of courage to do such a thing and now she thinks you hate her because of it... she must be really hurting right now!"

  "Y-you're right! I should go apologize to her now!" 

  Eli quickly stood up and moved towards the door.

  "A-ah, nee-chan! I-it's too late to go now! She's probably already asleep!"

  After Eli settled down, they decided that it was time for them to sleep too. As they went up the stairs, Eli called out to her younger sister. 

  "Arisa..."

  "Yes, nee-chan?"

  Eli gave a huge warm smile to her sister. 

  "Thank you."

  Arisa's eyes widened a bit before she returned the smile with a huge bright grin. 

  "You're welcome, onee-chan."

  Eli subconsciously smiled at the memory. She was really grateful to Arisa for helping her out. She thought back to the topic of their conversation again.

  Nozomi...

  "She's always been there for me and is always able to put up with my stubbornness. She was my first friend here and probably the only one who has ever understood me. She is my best friend and I love her." 

  But do I love her in that way?

  And with that they were back to square one. However, one thing Eli was sure of now was that she didn't want to lose Nozomi as a friend. 

______________________

Eli marched out of the house determinedly. She had already decided to continue being Nozomi's best friend and she was going to keep to that decision. She could also figure out her feelings in the meantime and hopefully be able to answer Nozomi's confession properly. Who knows, she could even return those feelings. Eli blushed at the thought of the two of them being a couple. 

  Holding hands... going on dates... maybe even k-kissing? Eli's face flushed an even deeper scarlet as an image of her and Nozomi kissing popped into her mind. 

  She slapped herself and internally berated herself for thinking such thoughts.

  B-besides, I still haven't figured out my feelings for her yet...

______________________

Eli finally stood outside the door to her best friend's apartment. She fidgeted nervously as she glanced at the familiar sight of the slightly peeling wallpaper and the old worn out door in front of her. She reached a finger out to ring the doorbell. As her finger slowly approached the small round button, she could hear her heart beating madly in her ears and feel the waves of doubt creeping on her. She quickly shot her finger forward to press the doorbell before she could actually change her mind. 

  She anxiously waited for Nozomi to answer the door, mentally prepping herself for what to say to the other girl when she appears. After a few minutes, Eli started to panic. Why is Nozomi taking so long to answer the door? She rang the doorbell again and waited for another few minutes. She's probably just still sleeping or something. There's no need to worry... Eli could tell that she was doubting her own words and tried her best to quell her rising panic. She knocked on the door instead this time and called out Nozomi's name for extra measure. W-what if she's a-avoiding me? O-or what if she injured herself? Eli started to imagine all the worse possible situations Nozomi could have gotten in. With each new worry, she started to knock even more frantically and even got to the point of banging on the door and yelling, "Nozomi! Are you okay?"

  Eli froze when she heard the door from the next apartment open, her hand halfway to the door in front of her. Shit, did I wake her neighbours up? 

  Eli had not been able to sleep the entire night, plagued with thoughts about her best friend's confession and as a result had gone over fairly early, wanting to get it over with as soon as possible. Overcome with worry for her best friend, she had forgotten that the other residents might have still been sleeping and did not consider that her actions might wake them up. 

She slowly turned her head to face the open door to her right. As expected, the head popping out of the beige door wore an irritated expression at being woken up so rudely. She glared icily at the quarter Russian blonde for a moment before stating in an annoyed tone,

  "If you're looking for that big-boobed girl, she left a message for you. She's already moved out to join her parents in Germany or something."

  With that, she slammed her door close, grumbling to herself under her breath about how "kids these days are so inconsiderate". 

  Eli's heart sank. 

  Is it my fault?

 ______________________

A/N: If ya'll have any suggestions for a title that'd be great (I suck at titles I don't know how all those other authors can come up with such great titles). This is my second fanfic pls don't bite (too hard). Also for those of you who don't know, Hideko, Fumiko and Mika are those three girls that are always helping them in the anime ye :D

[tried-to-write]

Nico felt her eyelids drooping as she struggled to stay awake. She turned around and stared lazily at the younger girl beside her in amazement, wondering how she could still have so much energy after the kind of day they had had. She was practically bursting at the seams with excitement. 

"Nico-chan, do you think Santa-san is going to come soon?"

"Relax, Maki, it’s only 10. He’s most likely only going to come at midnight."

Although Nico was usually fine with staying up this late, that day had been particularly hectic and she wanted nothing more than a good night’s rest. Her red-haired underclassman did not seem to be deterred by the two hour wait at all, however, and instead seemed more determined than ever to stay awake so she could fulfil her childhood dream. She stared intently at the fireplace opposite her as if doing so would make Santa drop in earlier than he was supposed to. She was quivering with anticipation and Nico could feel the slight vibrations even through her thick, ugly sweater. It was a blue sweater with orange stripes on its sleeve and a big orange star at the front. It had been a gift from Maki earlier that day during the µ’s Christmas party. Similarly, the sweater Maki was wearing had also been a gift from Nico during the party. It was a plain red sweater with a big purple heart at the front.

Nico smiled fondly at the sight of the usually calm and collected composer acting so uncharacteristically childish in front of her. She felt a bit of pride swell in her at the thought of being the only one among their friends to be able to see this side of Maki. She chuckled slightly as she imagined how their fans would react if they ever saw her acting like this. 'Her fan base would probably double, seeing how incredibly adorable she is. Wait… Did I just… call her incredibly adorable?' Nico blushed hotly after realising how she had subconsciously described her underclassman. She glanced at the girl beside her and her breath hitched. 

The lights in the room had been turned off as Maki did not want Santa to know that they were awake lest he decides not to drop by. They had, however, lit a tiny little candlestick which they had found in one of the kitchen cupboards their group had raided earlier and placed it on the coffee table in front of them. Beside it sat a plate of cookies and a full glass of milk for Santa in case he got hungry and needed some snacks. The wavering flame from the candle cast a slight orange glow on Maki’s face, doing a good job at accentuating her mature yet slightly childish features. Her bright purple eyes shone with excitement as the corners of her mouth curved upwards in a wide smile rarely seen on the pianist’s face until recently. Nico felt awestruck at the breath-taking sight presented before her.

'Yes.' Nico decided. ’She is definitely more adorable than even the super idol Nico-nii.’

Feeling the red-eyed girl’s burning stare on her face, Maki turned her head towards Nico with a cocked eyebrow. 

"What is it? Why are you staring at me?"

She was confused as to why Nico’s eyes were slightly glazed over and why there was a slight pink tint on her cheeks which deepened into a furious red blush as soon as Maki turned around. She suddenly noticed their close proximity and felt her own face heat up drastically as she stared into her senior’s ruby red eyes. 'They're so pretty…' Maki couldn’t help but think as they continued their intense staring match. They were huddled together in an orange blanket for warmth and as so, had sat very close to each other. Nico finally remembered that Maki had asked her a question and stuttered out an answer as she reluctantly turned her eyes away from Maki’s and looked everywhere in the room except for the said girl. 

"N-no reason."

Nico wanted to slap herself. Was that all she could say? Her mind had blanked out at the moment and she could not think of her usual retort as a result. Maki became confused again at her unusual behaviour and the lack of her usual response. Thinking that maybe the girl was not feeling too well, she asked, her voice laced with concern,

“Are you feeling sick? Your face is really red.”

Upon finishing her question, she put her forehead to Nico’s to check her temperature, something her mom had often done with her whenever she fell sick. Nico immediately jumped away from Maki which in hindsight, may not have been such a great idea as she tumbled off the sofa and onto the cold hard marble floor.

“Nico-chan! Are you ok?”

Although hurt when Nico had jumped away from her, the girl’s wellbeing was still more important to Maki. She held out her hand to help Nico up. Nico gladly accepted the hand and slowly got up.

“Ahaha… Yeah I’m fine, thanks.”

She sheepishly rubbed the back of her head with her free hand as she sat back down on the sofa with the help of Maki. It was only when Maki had rewrapped her with the warm, cozy blanket had she realised how cold she had been even with the protection of her sweater.

Maki froze when she felt Nico snuggle into her. She felt blood rush to her cheeks as she pushed her smaller upperclassman away slightly.

“W-what do you think you’re doing? Y-you idiot…”

She whispered the last part and had Nico not been as close as she was, she would not have heard it. Nico gave a confused look before realising what she had done. She blushed and stammered out a reply.

“A-ah! I was just uh… You were just really warm and I was feeling a bit cold…”

She mumbled a bit at the end and looked down in embarrassment. She looked back up in confusion and shock when Maki suddenly pulled her back closer.

“W-well if you’re cold then there’s no helping it, is there.”

Maki said with a huff and looked away, trying to hide her reddening cheeks. When she managed to calm herself down, she turned back to the fireplace to continue waiting for Santa and to distract herself from the fact that she had just allowed Nico to snuggle into her. 

Nico was about to say something in response but the concentrated look on Maki’s face made her simply keep quiet instead. She leaned back onto the couch and they soon fell into a comfortable silence. After a while, Nico started to feel bored. She tried to start a conversation with Maki but all she got were one-word answers. She sighed and started to think back on the day’s events.

    Her day had started normally. She woke up, washed up and went to prepare breakfast for her family. Her mother had two days off for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and wanted to cook for them instead but Nico insisted that she rest as it was one of her rare days off and wanted her to be able to relax for once. Eventually, her mother reluctantly relented and allowed her to do the cooking for the family.

After they were done eating breakfast, Nico went to do her daily chores, again refusing any help from her mother. By the time she was done, it was already lunchtime and she went to the kitchen to prepare lunch. When she reached there, she was surprised to find her mother already done with cooking lunch while she had been busy doing her chores. She was about to reprimand her mother for doing housework when she was supposed to be resting but decided against it and thanked her for the help instead.

When they were finished with lunch, Nico decided to play with her siblings for a while before she had to prepare to go to the µ’s Christmas party. Although she would have loved to spend the whole day with her family since her mother was home, µ’s was just as important to her and she couldn’t not attend the party. She was free the next day and would be able to spend the day with her family so it wasn’t too bad anyway. After saying goodbye to her mother and siblings, she left the house to go to the party.

The party was held at the large Nishikino mansion and Nico couldn’t help but be amazed at the sheer size of it no matter how many times she visited. When one of the family’s butlers finally brought her to the living room, she found out that the rest of them had already arrived and were waiting for her. She placed the gift she had brought with the rest of the gifts on the table before going to join them.

After chatting for a bit, they decided to have an early dinner when Honoka’s stomach growled loudly. The family’s world-class chefs had prepared a huge feast for them which was served by the various butlers and maids the family also owned. Nico’s mouth literally watered at the sight of all the delicious looking food and looking around the table, she could tell she wasn’t the only one awed. The only one who appeared to be unfazed was Maki, as if it was a common thing for her.

‘Well as far as I can tell, this is normal for her. Tsk, rich people.’ Nico thought to herself with envy.

When the dishes were all given out, they eagerly dug in and were glad to find out that the food had tasted as good as it looked. They all made sure to thank the chefs when they were done eating, not forgetting the butlers and the maids too. Then, they finally started with the party activities.

They decided to start with the gift exchange. Everybody took a random gift from the pile and passed them around as they sang a random Christmas carol. When the song ended, they stopped passing the gifts around and checked that they hadn’t gotten back their own gift. After confirming that they all had someone else’s, Honoka immediately raised her hand and volunteered to be the first to open her present. She ripped apart the gift wrapper to find a bento box filled with rice balls.

“Ah, that one’s mine…” Hanayo meekly raised her hand.

“Thanks, Hanayo-chan. They look delicious!” Honoka enthusiastically praised.

Umi opened her gift next. She was much more careful at taking off the wrapper than Honoka and slowly peeled off the tapes. She opened the box found inside and took out a teal scarf. This time, Kotori raised her hand.

“That one’s mine, I knitted it myself hehe…”

“Thank you, Kotori. I lost my scarf earlier today so this is quite fortunate for me.” Umi gave her a grateful smile.

“Oh, that’s great then.” Kotori smiled back cutely.

The rest of the gift exchange went by uneventfully until they reached the last two people.

“Nico-chan and Maki-chan are the only ones left nya~ And none of us have gotten their presents so does that mean..?” Rin trailed off but it didn’t take a genius to figure out what she was trying to say. Everybody turned to stare at Nico and Maki. The two said girls fidgeted under the intense scrutiny of their friends. Unable to stand it anymore, Maki spoke up,

“Well let’s just open our presents. Right, Nico-chan?”

Nico nodded in agreement. The two of them opened their presents carefully. Everybody held their breath as they waited for the pair to show them what they had gotten.

“Ehhh?! You got me a sweater?”

“Y-you too!”

The rest of them had a field day teasing them about the sweaters for the rest of the party, especially Nozomi, much to the pair’s chagrin.

After the gift exchange, they went on to Christmas caroling. Being a group of school idols, everyone could sing very well. They had a blast singing the traditional Christmas songs. Rin had even purposely sung out of tune a few times to make the rest of the group laugh. After they were done with this, they played some other games. Time passed quickly for them and soon it was time for the party to end.

The group said their goodbyes to Maki and thanked her for allowing them to hold the party at her house. However, just as Nico was about to leave, Maki stopped her. Nico turned to look at her, confused. Maki was twirling red strands of her hair as she looked at the ground, unsure of what to say. After waiting for some time, Nico got frustrated at the lack of response even though she was the one who was stopped.

“If you’re not going to say anything then I’m leaving.”

“Wait!” Maki quickly grabbed Nico’s wrist to stop her from taking another step. “U-uh uhm, do you want to stay up with me t-to wait for S-Santa-san?”

Nico almost burst out laughing when she heard Maki’s request and had to bite her tongue to prevent herself from doing so. She considered telling Maki the truth about Santa but remembered her friends’ reactions when she had almost told her a few years back. ‘They would kill me if they ever find out that I took away her innocence.’ Nico shuddered at the thought. She thought of rejecting the offer but one look at Maki’s face had made it impossible to do so. She wasn’t sure if the puppy dog look Maki was wearing was on purpose or not but it was working. ‘Urgh, how can I say no to that face?’ And so, Nico reluctantly agreed, to which Maki had replied with a huge grin on her face that washed away any of Nico’s regrets.

    Nico was snapped out of her thoughts when she felt a weight on her shoulder. She turned around to find Maki with her head on her shoulder, eyes closed and a light snore coming from her. ‘She’s finally asleep after all that excitement, huh.’ Nico smiled warmly at the girl as she tucked away a strand of hair that had fallen onto Maki’s face. She leaned up and gave her a quick peck on the forehead. “Merry Christmas…” She said as she finally allowed sleep to take over her.

Bonus:

She suddenly noticed their close proximity and felt her own face heat up drastically as she stared into her senior’s ruby red eyes. ‘They’re so pretty…’ Maki couldn’t help but think as they continued their intense staring match. She didn’t notice as they started slowly leaning in closer to each other. Her eyes widened when their lips finally connected before she closed them and returned the kiss with as much passion as she could. It just felt so… right, that she couldn’t stand to break the kiss. Their lips had fit together perfectly, as if they were meant to be together. She moved her hand to the back of Nico’s head to push them closer, to deepen the kiss. 

Plonk! They froze as they heard the sound of a head hitting metal. They quickly broke their kiss and turned to look at the source of the disturbance. Their eyes widened in surprise. Before them sat the famous Santa Claus covered in ash and sitting at the bottom of the chimney, rubbing his sore head after hitting it against the metal railing above the fireplace. 

"Ouch, that really hurt a lot."

Noticing the attention his commotion had attracted, he continued, “Aww don’t stop the make-out session, it was hot!”

Ignoring his highly disturbing comment, Maki squealed in delight and immediately ran over to Santa. “Santa-san! I’m so happy at finally being able to meet you!”

As Maki was fangirling over Santa, Nico remained seated on the couch, stunned into silence. Santa was… real? And more importantly, he had interrupted her first kiss with Maki?!

"WHAT THE F***?! YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE REAL! GET OUT OF HERE!" Nico fumed, frustrated and freaked out. 

Santa only let out a low chuckle as he replied, “Oh, but I am real.” Without warning, he suddenly stuffed Maki into a sack that seemingly came from nowhere. Maki tried to struggle against him but he was much stronger than her and she was unable to do anything against him. After finally managing to push the girl deep enough into the sack, he quickly tied up its opening with a rope that apparently came from the same oblivion the sack had come from. Santa hefted the bag onto his shoulder, dragging it along with him as he ran to the chimney and somehow jumped out onto the roof. Maki’s muffled cries for help could be heard in the distance but Nico couldn’t move. She could only watch helplessly as Santa dragged her girlfriend further and further away from her. 

Nico let out an ear-piercing scream as she jumped up from the sofa but fell off onto the floor instead, pulling the blankets and a non-kidnapped Maki along with her. Nico let out an “oof” as she felt Maki land on her. Maki groaned and used her arms to push herself up. “What the heck is wrong with you?” She grumbled, irritated that she had been woken up in such a horrible manner. She grew confused when Nico didn’t reply. “Hey, are you okay?” She asked, now slightly concerned.

She jumped a bit in surprise when Nico suddenly grabbed her shoulders and shouted “Maki! You’re okay!” Before Maki could reply, Nico kissed her deeply on the lips before pulling her into a hug. After she was satisfied with the hug and convinced that Maki wasn’t leaving anywhere anytime soon, Nico stood up and left the room, leaving a confused and dazed Maki sitting on the floor, fingers touching her lips and a deep red blush on her cheeks. 

"What just happened?"

________________________

  A/N: This my first fic sry if u think its crappy dun bite pls

Maki is just staying up to catch santa-san with (reluctant) Nico