ts-questioner

[ts-questioner]

What if I Consider This a Job?!

I grew up relying on my family to give me shelter and food and life basic needs. I grew up being used to being pressured to do something otherwise I’ll find myself wanting to play video games and just have fun. So as long as there’s no one to pressure me to do something with my life, it is hard for me to get myself to do it. Someone has to hold me accountable. That’s how I grew up. I don’t necessarily like it, I’m just saying that this is how I grew up.

I’m almost 30, but I’ve never had a job, other than being a freelancer, but now I really need an official job. My life’s circumstances require it. My problem is that what I explained above, that way I grew up being made me always be in my comfort zone and I fear leaving it without depending on someone. I need to get out and look for a job. But I also fear dad, and he tends to pressure me to get a job and I hate that pressure, but I understand him.

So, here’s what I was just thinking. What if I didn’t consider my dad as my dad but rather my boss, and me staying home and getting food and all that is the price for my help for my parents and taking care of some things in the house? Like what if I looked at this as a job? Maybe I will learn the language of business, of “I gotta work to feed myself”. Maybe that will teach me to depend on myself. And then maybe if I learn that, finding another job wouldn’t be so scary.

[ts-questioner]

I Went from Depressed to Happy in 15 Minutes

Woke up yesterday feeling depressed. Barely got out of bed. I decided to start my day with gratitude by finding 3 good things about my nowadays life's situation, and I expressed why they are good things by writing everything down on paper. I ended up feeling good about it. And I had a good day. The gratitude took about 15 minutes but it was enough for me to go from depressed to happy. It's not enough for me to know what to be grateful for, I have to express these things to really feel grateful. I noticed that I only feel fortunate when I'm satisfied, and I feel like things seem like they are the way I want them to when I'm grateful. So I'm guessing if I can keep this up, that means I'll always or often feel fortunate and things will look more like the way I want them to look like. And I wouldn't feel as greedy about what I want to have in this life as when I feel unsatisfied about my situations or what I have, I'd feel enough instead.

[ts-questioner]

A Chat with Myself

I just had a cool experience. I was wondering about something and I was trying to figure it out, and so I tried to ask myself questions, and I was getting some immediate answers from the voice within me which we all know exist. But I decided for the first time to chat with it almost like a real person, and I was replying to its answers like "Ok good, what else? Ok what about this?...." and then I asked a tough question, and I got nothing. I smiled here cause that was cool to me. But then I asked the same question in a different and harder way and then I got an immediate answer. What's so cool about this is that it felt almost like a conversation with someone, and it was clear. Some call that "a voice", some call it "a feeling". Sometimes I call it a voice and sometimes a feeling cause I'm not sure which one is accurate. What do you call that voice?

[ts-questioner]

It Could Be “Simplicity”

I used to think that "Peace" is the one word that describes me the most, but recently I started to think that my one word could be "Simplicity" and not peace, cause almost every time when I feel down or stressed because of a certain situation, what helps me get through it is finding guidance instead of trying to figure it out myself, and I tell myself to keep it simple always, cause whenever I make it complicated I feel stressed. It's only when I make things simple the process flow. I wanna say the word peace contains the word simplicity but I'm not feeling it. The reason I want to make it easy for someone to be honest with me for example is because I don't want that someone to find it hard to be honest with me, I want to keep it simple, and that's why I tell people sometimes you can tell me to shut up if you think I talk too much, it's better than not to and talk behind my back, I won't take it personally, I want to make people feel comfortable being honest with me by keeping it as simple as possible for them to. And there are other examples.