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100% same
in my head and in fiction romance seems cool and then real life romance exists and its kinda just like wtf
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Thank you.
I hope your day goes well if you’re just realizing you may be ace, aro, demi, gray, a-flux, a-spike, quoi, cupio, nebularomantic, arovague, acevague, or any other a-spec label that makes you comfortable! You’re no less a-spec if it took you some time!
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Shout out to aros and aro-specs who don’t like physical contact all!
Shout out to aros and aro-specs who are okay with physical contact from friends and family members, but not in a romantic context!
Shout out to aros and aro-specs who are okay with some forms of physical contact, but not others!
Shout out to aros and aro-specs who love physical contact!
Shout out to aros and aro-specs who aren’t sure exactly how they feel towards physical contact!
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“I always remember having this fight with a random dude who claimed that ‘straight white men’ were the only true innovators. His prime example for this was the computer… the computer… THE COMPUTER!!! THE COM-PU-TER!!!
Alan Turing - Gay man and ‘father of computing’ Wren operating Bombe - The code cracking computers of the 2nd world war were entirely run by women Katherine Johnson - African American NASA mathematician and ‘Human computer’ Ada Lovelace - arguably the 1st computer programmer”
- Sacha Coward
Also Margaret Hamilton - NASA computer scientist who put the first man on the moon - an as-yet-unmatched feet of software engineering, here pictured beside the full source of that computer programme. #myhero
Grace Hopper - the woman that coined the term “bug”
- @robinlayfield
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My hobbies include reading, writing, and doing neither of those things.
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There’s no one way to identify as gray-asexual! These are some of the many reasons a person might identify with the term.
[ID: A purple square with grey text that reads: “I am gray-asexual. Sexual attraction doesn’t make sense to me. I experience sexual attraction, but only mildly. I only feel sexual attraction under certain circumstances. I experience sexual attraction, but I don’t have a desire to have sex. I experience sexual attraction, but it fades over time. Sometimes I experience sexual attraction, sometimes I don’t. I have a desire to have sex, but I don’t experience sexual attraction. I only feel sexual attraction rarely. I relate to the word ‘asexual’, but that doesn’t capture my whole experience.” End ID.]
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it's so stupid, adhd is a dozen vaguely related neuroses in a trench coat, including such popular hits as
Can't Fucking Sleep Disorder
Can't Fucking Wake Up Disorder
What Is A Focus
Oops I Did It* Again (*Spent Thirteen Hours On Youtube And Forgot To Eat Or Drink)
The World Is Too Noise Today
All My Friends Hate Me (I Deduced This From A Three Word Text)
I Forgot About [thing] Literally As Soon As I Turned Around
...and they decided to call it Trouble Sitting Still Disorder?????
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I never realized the last one but yeah 1 and 4. I mean I can't usually fall asleep during the day while on medication, but when I get 'bored' I do get really tired.
“This Is Why You’re Always So Tired”
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How do you Scratch That Itch???
I had a conversation recently with a friend about what being asexual means. They asked me if I get sexually aroused (well, they said “horny”, let’s not sugar coat it) and I said yeah, I do. Not all aces do, but I do, sure. And they looked at me absolutely flabbergasted and asked, “So you get the itch, but you don’t scratch it? How can you survive that?”
And I was like thank you, friend, for giving me the perfect metaphor.
And now I will share it with all of you. If you’re a sexual person having trouble understanding how an asexual can get aroused and still not want sex with another person, here you go:
Does your nose ever itch? What do you do when your nose itches? You reach up with your hand and you fucking scratch it, right? And the itch goes away?
You don’t seek out another person to reach up there and scratch the itch for you? You don’t invent elaborate social rituals where you try to convince someone to scratch your nose every time it itches? Because you have perfectly functional fingernails and you and only you know exactly where the itch is and how hard and in which direction to scratch it? And it would be utterly absurd to waste the time and energy to find someone else to do it, who isn’t going to do nearly as good a job as you could do yourself?
Now imagine you live in a world where no one scratches their own nose. Well, okay, they do, but it’s considered embarrassing and shameful to always only scratch your own nose. Everything most people do in life is somehow related to finding a nose-scratching partner. People choose their romantic partners based on how long their nails are instead of whether they’re actually compatible.
And here you are, happily scratching your own damn nose, oblivious to this whole charade. You watch everyone around you clumsily scratching each other’s noses like… “Why are you doing that? Isn’t it easier and faster to just scratch it yourself?” And people look at you with incomprehension and disgust. What is wrong with you? How can you survive without getting your nose itched for you? Doesn’t it drive you crazy?
And you’re like… Nah, friend. i’m good. I got this. I promise.
But as people discover that you don’t want someone else to scratch your nose for you, they start to get angry. They start to declare that actually, you do want someone else to scratch your nose. You probably had a bad experience or something and it made you afraid of it, but you have to try again. You just have to find the right nose-scratcher. You can’t go your whole life alone.
And you’re like… whooooaaaaa there, friend. Alone? Why would I have to go through life alone? I’m perfectly capable of being in a romantic relationship without having the other person put their fingernails near my eyes all the damn time.
Now you’ve done it. People are angry now. You are a deviant, suggesting that a relationship is anything but a way to get someone to scratch your nose. You need to be cured of this mental illness you have, surely.
Maybe you give it a shot, now and then. Maybe you start to believe that there is something wrong with you after all. After all, you seem to be the only person on earth who feels this way. Maybe you do need to learn to do the nose-scratching dance, or you’ll die alone and unloved.
So you try it. It suuuuuucks. You hate it. Even when the other person does a good job, it’s so frustrating. It’s uncomfortable. You just want to shove their hand out of the way and scratch your own nose properly. You try to avoid doing it in relationships, but everyone seems to expect it. Partners break up with you because they claim you’re using them, or manipulating them, or lying to them, or cheating on them, because they can’t comprehend the very idea that you’d really just prefer to scratch your own nose. “If you’re not getting it here, you must be getting it somewhere else,” they say.
And maybe you’re even assaulted by people who claim to have your best interests at heart, trying to fix what’s wrong with you by holding you down and scratching your nose against your will. (Shockingly, this does not help.)
Fortunately, one day while browsing the internet, you discover a community of people who don’t like having their noses scratched. It turns out it’s not even that uncommon, people just hide it because of the reaction they get from others in their lives. You’re not broken, you’re not sick, you’re just a bit different from the majority. You just prefer to scratch your own damn nose, and there’s nothing strange about that. Fortunately, thanks to the internet and the ascratch communities, you finally have the chance to find a partner who just wants love and romance, and you keep your fingernails on your own noses.
Please signal boost, because this helped my friend understand, and maybe it can help others, too.
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hey just a heads up/warning for those of you who don’t do well dealing with the heavy subjects or videos portraying violent acts, sandyhook promise has a new gun violence school shooting PSA that is probably going to be going viral and is slated to play on television and in AMC movie theaters and it’s pretty heavy, especially at the end. I know it’s a topic that needs to be discussed but it’s not a video that everyone will be able to watch, so just a warning for those of you that might not be able to handle it.
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This is a big, giant list of Youtube tutorials that will teach you all the basic life skills you need to know in order to be a functional adult. There are a lot of important skills that aren’t included in this list, but this should be enough of a basic guide to get you started and prevent you from making a total mess of yourself. Happy adulting! Household Skills:
How to unclog a toilet without a plunger
How to fix a blown fuse
How to fix a leaky faucet
How to clean soap scum from your tub and shower
How to escape from a house fire
How to make a budget and stick to it
How to sharpen a knife
How to clean a self-cleaning oven
How to clean red wine stains from carpet
How to clean blood stains from fabric
How to clean grease stains from fabric
How to do a load of laundry
How to iron your clothes
How to test your smoke detectors
Cooking Skills:
How to tell if produce is ripe
How to know if food is expired
How to properly sanitize a kitchen
How to cook an egg
How to make rice
How to make pasta
How to put out a kitchen grease fire safely
How to use a gas stove
How to use a convection oven
How to cook meat safely
How to use a stand mixer
How to use kitchen knives properly
How to make mashed potatoes
How to make grilled cheese sandwiches
Health Skills:
How to stop bleeding
How to treat a burn
How to do CPR (on an adult)
How to do CPR (on a child)
How to do CPR (on a baby)
How to help someone who is choking
How to save yourself if you are choking alone
How to read a nutrition label
How to treat frostbite
How to recognize when someone is having a stroke
How to maintain a healthy sleep schedule
Mental Health Skills:
How to calm down during a panic attack
How to help someone who is suicidal
How to meditate
How to stop self-harming
How to recognize problem drinking
How to choose a therapist
How to deal with disappointment
How to cope with grief
How to raise your self-esteem
Relationship and Social Skills:
How to apologize
How to cope with a breakup
How to accept criticism
How to deal with bullying
How to argue in a healthy way
How to ask someone out
How to break up with someone
How to recognize an abusive relationship
How to rekindle a damaged friendship
How to speak in public
Job Hunting Skills:
How to tie a tie
How to write a resume
How to write a cover letter
How to dress for a job interview (for women/femmes)
How to dress for a job interview (for men/masculines)
How to properly shake hands
How to nail a job interview
Other Skills:
How to sew on a button
How to hammer a nail
How to change your oil
How to put gas in your car
How to jump-start a car
How to pick a good password
How to back up your files
How to write a cheque
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Okay so I have been posting about Maladaptive Daydreaming, and I feel like I should temper my statements. I am not completely sure I could be categorized with that. It sounds familiar. I hyperfocus and hyperfixate on stories, ideas, and characters. I react emotionally to these things. I struggle to drag my brain away from them... But also I just actually started looking into it. it may be emersive daydreaming... It is hard to believe that I have never really found this before. I honestly never thought about my daydreaming being in any way separate from my ADHD. I want to save this info so that I can figure that out and maybe find ways to work with it.
Here is a kitty:
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I wonder how much I could get done if I wasn't mostly day dreaming 2-4 hours/workday and litterally dragging my brain back to the work in front of me.
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What the heck this is me! This explains so much how do I deal with this?
Why it’s so hard to write your daydreams:
the plot inconsistency lol.
literally everything that doesnt make sense happen there
so many plotholes??? what the f-
why is character A too perfect?? oh shit better change i- character B too?? and C???
fantasizing about writing it instead of actually writing it (its called madd for a reason)
y'know what?? fantasizing about writing it AND getting a big fandom and people’s reactions when there’s a plot twist or a dramatic instead of actually writing it
also i realized that i need actual writing skills to do that
also that fear of plagiarism is still here
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Someone just liked this tweet of ours from last year so I might as well share it on here because it’s still relevant
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