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HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!!!

for real this time (click to see full quality of the Gang TT)

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Taskmaster Series 19, Episode 8 “Science All Your Life”

"JAVIE MARTZOUKAS!"

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Average Community viewing experience

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On This Day in Schitt's Creek: June 18

2019

Don't Be a Dick [david/patrick, M, 2,009] by @wildxwired

“Just so I’m clear, we’re now fighting about not fighting.”

Fully Opened [david/patrick, T, 2,175] by @jakeluppin

Patrick takes David to his hometown and David finds comfort, joy, and, more of himself.

just for us... [david/patrick, E, 3,974] by @startswithhope

A soft, sexy moment between David and Patrick takes a turn into fantasy when they begin to talk about David's past experiences at a few gay bars.

kiss and make up... [david/patrick, G, 1,012] by @startswithhope

Set after the cop leaves the store in "Love Letters", Stevie has had enough of two brooding boyfriends.

we're on each other's team [david/patrick, E, 4,332] by drinkingstars

Intellectually, David knows it’s just fucking, and it shouldn’t mean anything has changed for them. But he can feel that it has.

2020

[Podfic] hymns upon your lips [david/patrick, T, podfic] by Amanita_Fierce

Patrick has a lot of thoughts and feelings about getting to touch David. [Podfic of hymns upon your lips, written by didipickles]

All The Pretty Things That We Could Be [alexis/twyla, M, 63,595] by @turningtimeinthetardis

Alexis fiddled with her hair and asked haltingly, “I don’t mean to tell you how to spend your money, but maybe you could use some of it to come visit me?” Twyla shut her eyes for a second, as if she was debating what to wish for before blowing out the candles on a birthday cake, and Alexis felt her breath catch for a fraction of a beat at the blazing brightness of Twy’s smile. “I’d like that.”

Dreamsicle on a Summer Night [david/patrick, T, 1,906] by @simplymarleycat

A hot and muggy Schitt's Creek evening turns sweet.

Limelight [david/patrick, T, 4,286] by @vodka-rocks-and-a-piece-of-toast

He walks down to a room at the end of the corridor, pushing the door open. David sits cross-legged on a bed surrounded by walls of furniture. It’s not exactly your standard bedroom, but Patrick can’t say he’s shocked. They have a couple of classes together, and David is always…interesting. David looks up, unbothered. “Bathroom’s three doors down.” “Oh, no, I was just looking for a place to hide out. But I can find somewhere less…fortified.” David motions to the surrounds. “Last month Cyndee Pokorny and Everett Wilder made out on my thousand thread-count sheets while I was on a snack retrieval mission. The fortifications are a necessary precaution, believe me. But if you’re not bringing a hook-up, and you’re not spilling beer, you’re allowed in the sanctum." “...Thanks?” says Patrick, slipping off his brogues and clambering over an armchair to join David.

Still Don't Know [ted/alexis, E, 11,934] by @streetlampsunset

Alexis is vacationing in the Galapagos when she meets a certain veterinarian. After Stavros leaves her, she spends most of her time sleeping with Ted and face-timing Twyla. When Stavros returns for his things, dangerous men come after him, and Alexis gets caught in the crossfire. The bank has frozen her accounts while they sort out the Roses’ tax issues, so it’s up to Ted to save Alexis and bring her home. Title and chapter titles from Noah Reid's Still Don't Know.

The Interview [david/patrick, G, 3,674] by @agoodpersonrose

Running a business all alone is harder than one might expect. Sometimes you have to call in help, and sometimes that help comes in the form of a cute guy in a blue button-up.

The Younger Years [david/patrick, T, 37,481] by 1etheral1

Bethany Claire was the young daughter of David Rose. Trust me, it's still surprising to David that he has a daughter. ---------------------- David has a daughter in New York before the Rose's moved to Schitt's Creek. Now he has to manage his relationship with Patrick with a third wheel.

We've a lot of starving faithful [david/patrick, G, 771] by @kiwiana-writes

“Such magnanimousness from Mother Cabrini,” she says lightly, and Patrick grins at her. David’s ‘delightful half-half situation’ generally only comes up when he’s justifying Christmas presents, and Patrick’s never really thought about what that whole non-Jewish half actually is.

2021

A Rose By Any Other Name [david/patrick, G, 469] by @patrickredactedbrewer

Patrick is set up on a blind date with Stevie.

Christmas In July [david/patrick, T, 11,531] by kostia

David and Patrick are still busy at Santa's workshop, and we get to see what sort of magic happens there in the off-season.

Feeling Brand New [david/patrick, E, 6,411] by @dazedwriter1

Patrick was now thinking more with his cock than his head and he had no complaints, except for one. He had all this new found sexual energy pulsing through him and had nothing to pour it into except for masturbation and storeroom hook-ups. Until tonight. OR Another take on their night at Stevie's

For a shield from the storm [david & patrick, G, 6,329] by @designatedgrape

October 25, 1995 Dear Patrick, My teacher is making me write this letter to you. I guess all of the kids in Grade 4 in Ontario have to be pen pals with each other this year. I don’t know why I need a friend who lives in Cambridge. I have lots of friends in Toronto.That’s where I live. I’m supposed to tell you three things about me and ask you two questions. Here they are. Things about me:1. I live with my mom, dad, and little sister.2. My favorite food is pizza.3. I hate sports. Questions for you:1. Do you have any brothers or sisters?2. What is your favorite movie? Your pen pal, David Or, David and Patrick become pen pals and friends from Grades 4 through 8, from 1995-2000.

light of love is in your eyes [johnny/moira, G, 1,289] by @hullomoon

After coming home from work, Johnny tries to take care of an exhausted Moira

Memory Lane (or How To Steal From Your Ex-Almost-In-Laws) [patrick & rachel, T, 6,795] by @treepyful

She briefly entertained the idea of making Patrick owe her for going through with this but threw it away shortly after it entered her head. This was basic decency, not a favour to be repaid or a debt to be levied. He wouldn’t see it that way, of course, but Patrick was wrong about many things – this would just add another to the pile. * Rachel collects Patrick's things from his childhood home.

My loneliness ain't killing me no more [david/patrick, T, 4,282] by @thesleepyskipper

June 30, 2000 Dear David, I just got your most recent letter and wanted to send you one back. It’s not dumb. I hope you won’t think this one is dumb. I’m really excited for the summer because I get to play more baseball and go camping but I’m also a bit nervous about going to high school in September. Are you? Either way, I’m also really glad we’re friends and I can’t believe it’s been 5 years! Always, Patrick Or, David and Patrick continue as pen pals and friends, navigating high school from Grades 9 through 12, from 2000-2004.

Ready to Adopt [david/patrick, T, 2,445] by @sexydexynurse

Before they got married, Patrick reassured David that he didn't want kids. So why did David wake up to hear Patrick telling someone that they were ready for adoption? That's definitely the sort of thing you discuss with your husband before telling other people.

The state of my heart, the place where we are [david/patrick, T, 6,555] by @simplymarleycat

David and Patrick are matched up in a provincial sports pen pal exchange as kids. Even when baseball doesn't go so well for David, their friendship and correspondence endures over the years, leading to big questions, deep feelings, and much more.

2022

Bloom [david/patrick, T, 12,422] by @smallumbrella369

Patrick is starting his second beer when he sees a striking man moving around the bar. To Patrick, he looks kind of like an animal. Lean and dark. Barely contained, like something that vibrates against the restraints of polite society. The thought makes Patrick catch his breath. Damn. And that song, good lord, it’s like he came with a soundtrack or something. Patrick can’t stop staring. He is fucking gorgeous.

can we unlearn? [david/patrick, E, 2,006] by @housewifebuck

David leaned in closer, nosing along the line of Patrick’s jaw as his fingers dipped under the waistband of his Levi’s, tugging them an inch lower around his hips. “You want me to suck you?” he asked. “Right here in our store? You can’t even wait until we’re not in public?”

2023

Drink It In, Sink or Swim [david/patrick, T, 155] by mallpretzles

David admires Patrick’s body.

Relax [david/patrick, G, 100] by @ramonaflow

100 words based on the Tumblr prompt: Relax

The Spa Day [david/patrick, M, 1,662] by @frizzlenox

Patrick treats David to a Couples Spa Package and more for his birthday.

Where (Almost Nobody) Knows Your Name [gen, G, 2,045] by gwyneth rhys

“I’ve been told that when I’m out of uniform, most people don’t recognize me. And no one was exactly expecting a defrosted Cap to show up to a battle with aliens, let alone strolling in to their small town cafe.”

2024

If the First Thing I See Is Your Face, It's Gonna Be a Good Day [david/patrick, M, 1,613] by @dragonbinx

David hadn’t woken up alone a single day during his and Patrick's ... separation. There was the spa weekend with Stevie, of course, but Alexis had also never left before he got up, no matter how late it had been. But it wasn't the same as waking up to his boyfriend smiling at him, his eyes sparkling and warm in the sunlight. “Good morning,” he said, looking awed. “Morning.” David took a deep breath, and in the quiet of Ray’s spare room, whispered, “I missed you." Five times David wakes up with Patrick, and one time Patrick wakes up with David.

Stats:

No fanworks for 2017 or 2018 2019: 5 fics/13,502 words 2020: 8 fanworks (7 fics, 1 podfic)/123,665 words 2021: 9 fics/41,606 words 2022: 2 fics/14,428 words 2023: 4 fics/3,962 words 2024: 1 fic/1,613 words Total: 29 fanworks (28 fics, 1 podfic)/203,276 words

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does everyone have a teacher that they still have beef with/ hold a grudge against today??

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It wasn't even about fast cars. It was about fucking and marrying my friend.

TASKMASTER 19.5 Maybe We're the Monsters

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out of context taskmaster (5/∞)

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absolutely love abusing the power that comes with 3rd person limited pov and just ignoring things and being vague sometimes. does the character know all the details? no? then I don't have to either.

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y’all ever read a fanfic that you cannot believe an author just wrote for free?? what an honor it is to read a piece of someone’s soul they shared out of nothing but love for a piece of media. what a privilege it is to be allowed their talent because you share an interest!!

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yes & no — natalie wee (x)

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knives out 4 should be set in a papal conclave and every time they elect a new pope he keeps getting murdered. black smoke white smoke black smoke white smoke the crowd goes huh?? they have to make benoit blanc a cardinal to get him inside the room and he insists on bringing his husband, because they were on vacation in rome when this all started and phillip wanted to see the sistine chapel but it got closed for conclave. to use himself as bait benoit has to get elected pope. except then he catches the murderer before he can get murdered and now he's stuck as pope. gay married pope, oops! is this anything

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taskmaster can be analyzed in the lens of babyface and heels in this essay i will-

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The amount of dipshits I know who are happily using AI tools for everything is just astounding