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[turtlemas]

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

[turtlemas]

[turtlemas]

How do they make ice cream in Zootopia? Who are they milking?

[turtlemas]

but what do boys think when they go clothes shopping?¿ like do they think "oh this is kinda cute" Well probs not cuz they're guys but what other adjective is good enough to describe a pair of pant and nice sweater?¿?? Gnarly? Hot? Pretty?

[turtlemas]

it’s weird sometimes, the things you say when you’re talking to someone you’ve never met before. like you’ll just keep saying phrases you’ve never used like they’re your life mottos. i was training this guy at work and i kept using the phrase, “that’s just the nature of the beast.” 

that’s just, the nature…of the beast. i said that twice within 10 minutes of meeting someone. that’s just the nature of the beast? like i’m a veteran cop who’s been on the force for 25 years and i’m training a rookie to try and walk the straight and narrow and risk his life to save a community that always seems to be eating itself from the inside out. “that’s just the nature of the beast, boot.”

except i’m just like some idiot going, “yeah sometimes you’ll need to get change, but, like, it’ll be sunday and the bank’ll be closed…but that’s just the nature of the beast, man.”

and the guy i’m talking to is thinking like, “what beast? banks? because two seconds ago the beast was us being in a grubhub/seamless dead zone.”

[turtlemas]

[turtlemas]

MD: The wealth disparity between the rich and the poor in Ba Sing Se has become much worse since Aang first visited the city. Episodes like this one are very taxing for the entire design team, as there are many different locations and so many background characters that need to be fleshed out to make Ba Sing Se feel like a real, lived-in city. 

BK: Seeing all of these Lower Ring character designs imbued with so much personality makes me wish that every one of them somehow could have a spotlight moment on-screen. You can tell by these designs the middle Ring denizens are privileged to have more fortunate, less back-breaking lives than those in the severely oppressed Lower Ring. Finally, we have the elite Upper Ring citizens, people descended from families that have been wealthy for so long very few of them know what it means to actually do a day’s worth of honest work. 

Lower Ring residents by Christie Tseng. Middle and Upper Ring residents by Angela Song Mueller. Cleanup by Evon Freeman. Color by Sylvia Filcak-Blackwolf.

[x]

[turtlemas]

if trump says law and order one more time NBC is gonna sue him

[turtlemas]

Oh

[turtlemas]

Okay can I just say something here?

As most of you I’m sure are aware, fandoms (esp on tumblr/in fanfiction) can sometimes blow partially-canon traits really out of proportion and venture over into the realm of the fanon, occasionally really, really far, all the while still claiming these verging-on-the-edge-of-ooc characteristics are canon as hell. The massive chain culture we’ve got going isn’t helping this much (think memes. how long do they take to spread. bout ten minutes). So a couple of people say ‘this character behaves in such-and-such a way’, and boom. Suddenly this is accepted as hard truth the world over. One such trait has been bugging me lately, because I’ve noticed basically everyone assigns it to Draco Malfoy and it’s in almost EVERY DRACO-CENTRIC OR INCLUSIVE FIC. Namely, that he is always cool and collected. Suave. Let me just make something very clear right now.

Draco. Malfoy. Is. Not. Suave.

He is not the personification of the verb ‘smooth’. He is not a graceful statue. He is not void of emotion. He is not continually charming and always in possession of his head, he is DEFINITELY not immune to getting flustered, and he’s not freaking unshakable. Soooo many fics portray Draco as this intimidating, almost godlike marble creature who is forever stoic/coy/unaffected in the face of discomfort. And I get where this is coming from. Yes, Draco is good at shutting down his conscience and feelings of guilt or compassion, yes he is mean, and yes he is a snooty aristocrat with a superiority complex. But this does not mean that he’s incapable of feeling or reacting to touchy situations. In fact, throughout the entire series, one of his most noticeable traits is that he does react to touchy situations, very strongly. Exhibit A:

‘This is very easy,’ Malfoy drawled, loud enough for Harry to hear him. ‘I knew it must have been, if Potter could do it… I bet you’re not dangerous at all, are you?’ he said to the Hippogriff. ‘Are you, you great ugly brute?’ It happened in a flash of steely talons, Malfoy let out a high-pitched scream… … 'Im dying!’ Malfoy yelled, as the class panicked. 'I’m dying, look at me, it’s killed me!’

I know, this is pre-war Malfoy, but he’s painted as pretty put-together during a lot of Hogwarts era fics as well so I think including this is necessary. Guys, Draco was the biggest drama queen on the planet. It was not hard at all to ruffle his feathers. This child was only cocky when he was completely in control of the situation; any shifting of the playing field and he would either be fuming mad, whining about tattling to his daddy, or running terrified. Fear is a very big element of his character, and that does not ever change, not even in the later books when he drops the theatrics. Draco is not good at handling things during the action, in the here and now. He prefers to work with strategy, to be distanced from what’s going on, so when he’s actually put in a fight-or-flight situation, his natural instinct is always flight. Remember, he is a Slytherin, not a Gryffindor. Self-preservation trumps bravery every time.

He’s certainly not any more collected during the war than he is in his school days. In fact, if anything, it gets worse, as basically all of his swagger disappears and he is little more than a distraught wreck. This kid had panic attacks, he cried in the bathroom to a ghost because he was so scared, he was guilty and traumatized and you cannot tell me that a terrified, messed up kid like that was suave. His attempts at making jabs at the trio all through the sixth year are notably feeble, he’s clearly not good at keeping up a composed appearance at all times as he is described continually as looking pale and sickly and nervous, with “dark shadows under his eyes and a distinctly greyish tinge to his skin”, and when the time comes for him to kill Dumbledore, he’s outright shaking- every word out of his mouth and every action he makes on that tower are positively screaming 'I DON’T WANT THIS PLEASE HELP ME’.

Now, I’m not saying he isn’t able to act smug in his post-OotP years. He is, and he can still be threatening and cruel as well. But he isn’t aloof. He isn’t a mountain. Draco Malfoy has a very wide range of emotions, he is not made of steel. In Exhibit B, you can see just how ‘calm and cold’ he is when the trio is brought to Malfoy Manor:

'Well, Draco?’ said Lucius Malfoy. He sounded avid. 'Is it? Is it Harry Potter?’ 'I can’t - I can’t be sure,’ said Draco. He was keeping his distance from Greyback, and seemed as scared of looking at Harry as Harry was of looking at him. …  Harry saw Draco’s face up close, now, right beside his father’s. They were extraordinarily alike, except that while his father looked beside himself with excitement, Draco’s expression was full of reluctance, even fear.’

Oh, yeah. The kid’s unreadable.

People, level-headedness during tough situations is NOT a canonical aspect of Draco’s personality. The rest of the time, sure, but not when he’s scared. This behavior isn’t exclusive to the war, either- in every part of his life that we get to see in the books, which is basically his entire growing-up years, he panics when things are looking bad for him. And anyone who says he would get all his old arrogance and snark back after the war ended is being ridiculous, because there is no way that’s the case. After all he suffered, after the shaking of his views and the torture he was forced to use on others and the realization that he was not better than the people they were fighting against, that in fact, he was probably far less than them (which we aren’t explicitly given but HAS TO HAVE HAPPENED after all he saw and considering he didn’t uphold his old pureblood views as an adult and that his entire family just quit fighting for Voldemort during the Battle of Hogwarts; he was only in it for his parents by then, and obviously once they forfeited their side he would have too. He did NOT support Voldemort by the end of the series, and probably saw he was wrong far before this), every last dreg of confidence would’ve been drained from him. Post-war Draco would’ve been a shadow of himself, constantly tortured by guilt and regret and the mark on his arm. Not debonair and in love with himself. Not a playboy (honestly where did this trope even come from the only girl who ever paid him any attention was his fangirl Pansy and apparently his wife). That massive section of his life where he was under Voldemort’s control was not a phase that he could’ve just glossed over. It shaped him. He was broken during that war. And he was never as lordly and impenetrable as he most likely aspired to be in an emulation of Lucius to begin with.

So can we all just stop pretending that Draco Malfoy is unflappable and impervious to emotion please? Because he’s not. He’s really not.

[turtlemas]

Happy early Valentine’s day! As your Valentine, I bring you a fresh batch of ten fics!  Feel free to use this for ignoring people clamoring for your Valentine attention, or to distract yourself from the lack thereof. Or, you know, save these in your bookmarks only to find months later in July. You can read them then. Happy Valentine’s Day, and happy reading! more recs

A Little Misunderstanding After answering a few questions for an interview with none other than Hermione Granger, Draco finds himself caught up in a lie that could break Mrs. Granger’s heart. FAKE RELATIONSHIP.

The Griffin and the Dragon After years of scouring for horcruxes, Hermione branches off from Harry to find help in the most unlikely of places.

Pas de Deux Professor Fitzherbert gets an idea while teaching his Muggle Studies class, one that could change the perceptions of the Head students. Written by one of my all-time favorite dramione authors, eilonwy, who made Shakespeare’s A Midsummer’s Night Dream work perfectly for her.

A Little Piece of Sincerity I could ramble about provocative-envy for years honestly, because this fic perfectly captures Draco and Hermione’s rise from hate to love, and the inner turmoil each of them feels.

Wedding Charade Another one on the fake relationship front! After a misunderstanding during Ron and Luna’s wedding planning, the entire wizarding world soon comes to know of Granger and Malfoy’s attempt at a secret affair. Imelda Quinby reports.

The Demise of Severus Snape In memoriam of Alan Rickman, I give you my favorite Snape fic, which is incidentally a comedy that involves a bet with the headmaster.

In These Dreams of Eternity An adventure as old as Merlin. An unknown Prize. Hermione and Malfoy team up, if only to bring that prize to bring that prize for England. Vashka is a genius.

In Seven Days There’s something off about Draco’s business partner, and he doesn’t like it one bit. In fact, he’ll do anything to change it. Oneshot.

New Beginning Draco Malfoy dangerously straddles the line between Death Eater and Order spy. With Granger’s life debt he manages to be both.

Fortune With Malfoy’s pestering and the promise of finally getting out of debt, Hermione agrees to make a potion that could end up meaning nothing but trouble.

And that’s it until March! Remember that if you’ve got fic suggestions that I haven’t listed, write to me, and I’ll read them and put them up. Also, dhrfaves is starting soon, so chances are there’ll be much more dramione goodness starting this Monday. Enjoy!

[turtlemas]

dhrchallenge | fanmix

SMALL HANDS: a draco & hermione mix for hands they can’t reach. a mix for love forbidden and absolute from the start.

i. breathe - sia // ii. two intangibles that can’t be had - sarah jaffe // iii. love, love, love (love, love) - as tall as lions // iv. what he wrote - laura marling // v. small hands - keaton henson // vi. let it go - the neighborhood // vii. sadder than you - angus & julia stone // viii. nocturne in c-sharp minor - frederic chopin

[turtlemas]

kaleidoscopes

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i’m not against vaping, but man, vaping two inches from my face on the subway is a ridiculous asshole kind of move. this dude was billowing like he was auditioning for the role of haunted house fog machine. the humidity in the whole car changed, he was ruining haircuts. just jump starting the water cycle. condensation was dripping down my glasses. people were slipping off poles, it was chaos. it was like watching one man try to terraform the moon. a planet with one dense, root beer scented atmosphere blocking out the sun and choking all life. 

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someone please help i dragged this picture of an old man but my computer froze and now he’s stuck there no matter what webpage i go to and i feel like his ghost is judging my choices 

[turtlemas]

Ack

Nicely done, m’lady

[turtlemas]

At first I was like 'no' but then I was like 'huehuehuehuehehehehehe'

a conversation with god.