turtleuwu

[turtleuwu]

thinking about that time my mom ordered a bottle of vitamins online and they arrived with the tamper seal broken and she was going to just take them anyway and in desperation i had to bust out the “you know they never solved the chicago tylenol murders” to get her to mail them back

[turtleuwu]

filtering down ao3 results from 14000 to 6 based on a single tag is foul. im sorry none of you are as enlightened as me ig.

[turtleuwu]

i love the -with mama trend but sometimes i get sad because that is clearly papa and he aint getting any credit raising those darn kids...

[turtleuwu]

ouugghh.. its the him

[turtleuwu]

law-carrying advice

[turtleuwu]

my toddler is 3 years old and wont eat anything other than fine porterhouse steaks and sweet port wine

[turtleuwu]

posting this here too

[turtleuwu]

i always thought i’d do really well on twitter but people on twitter just really do not like me. Never have Not for years. Well thats okay

[turtleuwu]

Sometimes I think about that you probably laugh at some posts you see around here. What do you do then?

well i reblog them to my blog and sometimes i add tags like “#HAHAHA”

[turtleuwu]

This is your captain speaking and yeah we’re not landing. I just feel like we’ve got a really good thing up here and I don’t want to ruin it. This is my home and you are my people

[turtleuwu]

whenever i see people talking about firefox-official on here i feel like baloo in that scene from the jungle book where bagheera delivers this insane eulogy for him but hes just lying there fully conscious

[turtleuwu]

deleted a post right after i posted it. Like a maniac

[turtleuwu]

I've seen this movie thirty thousand times now, and only just noticed, but IS HE GIVING THE LATIN GESTURE OF BENEDICTION TO THE TURTLE????!! I'm so emotional help.

[turtleuwu]

benítez: would you still love me if i was a turtle?

lawrence:

[turtleuwu]

Tried his best with all his heart.

[turtleuwu]

HOW AM I JUST NOW LEARNING that there's a 90s cartoon about a crossdressing vigilante hunting down zombies who looks like THIS:

with the goons in question being led by a little kid who uses 'YOU FOOLS' in every other sentence named JOSE VON REICHTER.

JOSE

VON

GODDAMN

REICHTER

who looks like THIS:

AND the animation of FLIPPIN' Trigger!?

Was ANYONE going to tell me??

[turtleuwu]