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[twistedsamuraiadvice]

Dear Detective Fulbright,

Do you know any of your ancestors in the year 1600?

Hello!

hmm.....No, I don't believe so...though I'd love to learn about them! it sounds interesting! Prosecutor Blackquill was just telling me that it was an important year in Japanese history, apparently it was the start of the...Edo period? I think?

I've no idea what my ancestors were up to at the time though. I've never managed to trace my family tree past when the Fulbrights reached America. an eternal mystery!

In Justice We Trust!

-Bobby Fulbright

[twistedsamuraiadvice]

simon blackquill have u watched adventure time and if u have what do u think of simon petrikov

Adventure Time you say......

That's the one with the pink dictator and her girlfriend, yes?

I'm unfamiliar with this Petrikov man, but he's something to do with the vampire girl, isn't he?

Aura used to play her audio calling "Simon" when she wanted to bother me. It wasn't particularly clever. She was more interested in the show then I was, and even then she considered herself to have better things to do.

I don't know if this is any help to you at all.

Unimpressively Idle,

-Simon Blackquill

[twistedsamuraiadvice]

Good Afternoon Readers!!

This is Detective Bobby Fulbright here, making an important announcement for all of our American Readers!

Please don't forget, Tax day is TODAY!

If you visit the IRS website, you may be eligible to use a free tax program depending on your income. And if you live in any of the following states,

AR, AZ, DC, GA, IA, ID, IN, KY, MA, MI, MN, MO, MS, MT, NC, ND, NY, OR, RI, SC, VA, VT and WV,

That may also make you eligible to file state taxes using the same program! (So long as it's not TurboTax)

Please make sure your taxes are done! So long as it's in by midnight, you should be good!

Thank you!

In Justice We Trust!

-Bobby Fulbright

[twistedsamuraiadvice]

Greetings to you, Prosecutor Blackquill,

i believe that a good friend of mine has been ghosting (that means that they've stopped communicating with me suddenly) me for the past 3 weeks but i don't know why? There were no arguments or fights happening prior to their disappearance, and I thought I was being a good friend to them too. I know I should probably let them go, but I really cherish our friendship and i don't want it to end. I've composed a sensitive response telling them I would like to see how they are doing, but I'm not sure if i should send it to their phone number (where i still don't get responses) or their discord (where they are active, but i don't want to bother them and make it worse). Should I even send over the message, and if so, which platform should it go?

Thanks for reading my message,

-z

Lonely Reader,

First, I apologize for not getting back to you sooner. I hope you are well.

If you are fully unaware of any wrong doing on your part, then it is possible that the fault does not lie with you, though I would not assume this to be the case, people will sometimes disappear without disclosing why. I personally cut off both Aura and Athena when I was imprisoned, refusing to respond to their letters, though it was not due to their own actions.

If you truly wish to rekindle a relationship with this person, then this is what I would recommend.

reread your message, seeing if it is at all self-deprecating. If so, edit those portions. It would not wrong of you to ask what has caused this, but It would be wrong of you to assume the worst and attempt to fling yourself down because you hope they will see this as regret, or because you subconsciously think it will make them pity you. While many do indeed feel this is the right thing to do, often it is anxiety speaking and not reality. it often contributes to the other feeling they have to reassure you, not that you are taking their feelings in to consideration.

Instead, keep it short and sensitive. I will not ask that you send me the message you have composed already, only that you read it carefully. Express that you miss speaking with them, and are sorry not to have heard from them. ask if something is wrong, and let them know you would like to make amends if this is so.

Send it, and then, let go. No amount of pushing afterwards will make them desire to speak with you. either they wish to, or they do not. Do not assume you will recive an answer, but leave the door open in case they desire to contact you.

We can not know if this will work, especially when you are uncertain why they have cut you off to begin with. Eventually, you must move onwards.

Regardless of how this shakes out, I wish you well.

Still disconnected,

-Simon Blackquill.

[twistedsamuraiadvice]

hey you two!! how were your holidays?

Oh hello, fine CheeseCake!

It's so good to be posting again, though I am a little sad we didn't get to these sooner, it's already mid-to-late-march!

They were splendid!

My Nana made Simon a sweater, let me tell you getting his measurements for her was a chore! he was SO insistent that she didn't need to do anything of the sort. No matter!

I was a little sad he didn't want to come with me to Christmas, as he had promised to spend it with the little yellow lawyer, but then when i was talking to her she commented how fun it sounded, so I invited her as well, and they both came! I mentioned cousin Eddie when we were catching up about thanksgiving, and his horrid decision to bring both his wife and his girlfriend, who did NOT know about each other, well, they both came to Christmas as well, and spoke to each other but firmly avoided him. Well reasoned, in my opinion. The divorce is pending, I believe. New years was much quieter by contrast. a lot of things were happening in some of our friends lives, but nothing that hasn't worked itself out.

How is your year getting along?

In Justice we Trust!

-Bobby Fulbright

[twistedsamuraiadvice]

Greetings, Readers.

As i write this, it is 11:39 pm, new years eve.

I am aware there is a pile of asks awaiting the new year, during which time it is the plan, having wrapped up a number of other projects, to reply to these more often.

As it stands, however, I have a duo of persons demanding my attention, and must move on, and so I bid you all, Adieu.

Happy new years.

-Simon Blackquill

[twistedsamuraiadvice]

Happy Holidays everyone!!!

Are you excited? I certainly am! I'm headed to my Nana's for Christmas, and after some begging, pleading and compromising, both Simon and that little yellow lawyer are coming with me!!

Im quite excited for it, and can't wait to see who else will be there!

Do you all have any holiday traditions?

In Justice We Trust!

-Bobby Fulbright

[twistedsamuraiadvice]

Who the devil am I? Who the devil are YOU?? Was that spies body a fake? How many are you? I shall cut every single one of you down! You shall not have my place!

"At least Christmas music was largely avoidable in the clink."

He is not vibrating with excitement for December.

[twistedsamuraiadvice]

How the devil did you get a picture of me?

And why did "jingle bell rock" play three times in less then three hours while I was doing research this morning?

Has the whole world lost their minds?

"At least Christmas music was largely avoidable in the clink."

He is not vibrating with excitement for December.

[twistedsamuraiadvice]

i call my grandma ‘nana’ too! my thanksgiving was a lot less chaotic though, the most eventful thing that happened was me losing really badly at nana pong (beer pong but with a muffin tin)

Feeling Reader,

Is this a common choice for addressing ones grandmother? I was never particularly close to mine, or much of my family for that matter, and am thus curious as to how many names for the relationship there are.

I hope, uneventful as it was, it was a pleasant one. I had never experienced thanksgiving before, and was totally unprepared for the chaos that awaited me. I should probably have surmised that Fulbrights family would tend towards loudness, but as I knew he was an only child, I did not expect the sheer number of relatives there, as no family gathering in my life has seemed so full.

Despite this, I must admit that I had some of the better pies of my life, and uncle Marmot (surely not his birth name) seemed it be a kindred spirit. And, 'Nana' Fulbright, as she has asked to be called, did set aside a room for guests to step out into if they needed space. I was not even the only one who used it. it was a thoughtful inclusion.

I hope that, uneventful as it may have been, it was a pleasant Holiday for you as well. I have full confidence that you shall best the others at Nana pong next chance you get. Do the rules change in other ways besides the muffin tin? It certainly would reduce waste if plastic cups are removed from the equation. Or is it common to use other washable dishes? Such questions have never crossed my mind before now.

Exhausted,

-Simon Blackquill

[twistedsamuraiadvice]

Im so sorry everyone! I had planned to post sooner, but I was so busy helping Nana, but here are some holiday highlights thus far!

Simon met everyone, and played a round of pit! Great fun!

He hit it off with one of the younger cousins, Jared. Dresses all in black and wears a lot of skulls. No idea what they talk about, only that he's been following Simon around like a little lost chick.

Simon fell soundly asleep right after having four helpings of pie, poor soul, people just kept handing him more! Normally he's so good at saying no, I don't know what happened!

Seemed to hit it off with great uncle Marmot too! They sat outside a couple of feet away from the main group. No idea if either of them spoke, but Marmot offered him a beer so you know he likes him.

Lectured Aunt Goldie about how to care for a parrot properly. Apparently she was doing it all wrong!

Cousin Eddie showed up, with his wife, and it turns out he invited his Girlfriend as well. There was quite a fight about it, and I'm deeply ashamed to say some people are taking bets on when the divorce is coming. He expected us to help him prevent them from finding out about each other! I mean, really!

Oh and Aunt Mineya put her foot in it again. Simon was quite upset about it, and I just about saw red myself. If we weren't separated I don't know what I would have done, but it wouldn't have been pretty, I'll tell you that!

Oh, but there's no point getting worked up about it now. We're going to be here a little longer and then we'll head back, and as always the inbox is open!

Happy Holidays! In Justice We Trust!

-Bobby Fulbright

[twistedsamuraiadvice]

Hello all!

Writing to give you some holiday cheer! I'm at my Nana's house for Thanksgiving, and was able to convince Simon to come along! You know he's never celebrated before? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, but it seems odd not to be seeing family right now!

I'll keep you all updated on how it goes, have a wonderful holiday season!

In Justice We Trust!

-Bobby Fulbright

[twistedsamuraiadvice]

Fool-bright insisted we show you our costumes, so here you are. He was quite happy with them.

Amused,

-Simon Blackquill

Quick doodles for Halloween!

Clothes are hard. So are hands. At least they're ready for the holiday! Can you guess the costumes they picked?

[twistedsamuraiadvice]

Hello everyone, Bobby here, has anyone seen the patrol cars back left tire?

No?

Prosecutor Blackquill,

We all know Hallow's Eve is a time of mischief. I often think of when a good joke goes too far - any words on how you'd handle this, whether the reciever or the dealer of these pranks? What delinquincy did you normally get up to in your youth, or any year since?

Well wishes to you and your sister Aura this month, ~A Man With Too Many Plastic Skeletons In His Backyard

Weary Skeleton man,

It depends on the nature of the prank, of course. If someone tampered with your food without your knowledge, for example, that would be reason to fight, especially if it endangers you in some manner.

Hiding someone's car keys so they are late to work on the other hand, well that calls for escalation.

Excuse me, I must be off before the fool returns.

Have a Merry Hallows Eve, add some real skeletons to contrast the plastic.

Full of mischief,

-Simon Blackquill

[twistedsamuraiadvice]

Prosecutor Blackquill,

We all know Hallow's Eve is a time of mischief. I often think of when a good joke goes too far - any words on how you'd handle this, whether the reciever or the dealer of these pranks? What delinquincy did you normally get up to in your youth, or any year since?

Well wishes to you and your sister Aura this month, ~A Man With Too Many Plastic Skeletons In His Backyard

Weary Skeleton man,

It depends on the nature of the prank, of course. If someone tampered with your food without your knowledge, for example, that would be reason to fight, especially if it endangers you in some manner.

Hiding someone's car keys so they are late to work on the other hand, well that calls for escalation.

Excuse me, I must be off before the fool returns.

Have a Merry Hallows Eve, add some real skeletons to contrast the plastic.

Full of mischief,

-Simon Blackquill

[twistedsamuraiadvice]

tell us more about your and simon's animals, bobby! (i almost said "pets" but i know taka isn't considered one...)

With pleasure my good cheesecake!

First, there is of course, Taka. She, I'm told she's a girl, has been Simons companion for years, since she was a chick. I believe she's a Eurasian sparrow hawk, but I could be mistaken......she's a lovely bird, but I don't think I speak her language...she mostly just looks at me, but when I got back she wouldn't stop nipping me!! Simon says they were love nips, and I suppose they must be as she could really hurt something....

He says she was never fooled. Not even once. She knew.

*sniff*

Im sorry. I don't mean to get emotional, you know? I just...it matters, you know?

A-anyway, on to Rover. He's my good boy! He didn't come along till after I got back and realized I really, really didn't want to be alone. Simon visited me in the hospital, but, well...we weren't living together yet, and I couldn't bear go back to an empty apartment, so the little yellow lawyer gave us a lift to the animal shelter. He's been keeping me company since, he's a golden retriever and a very good boy. He knows sit, and stay, and fetch and come and walk and he believes in justice and is good.

I love him very much. When I'm sleeping by myself he joins me in the bed, but now thinks he can get up there any time Simon even gets up to use the rest room. He listens to him more then me! It's not fair.

Oh, but I can't be mad at him. He's my best boy.

In Justice We (all) Trust!

-Simon Blackquill

[twistedsamuraiadvice]

The Devil is this?

Why is Athena laughing so hard?

Is this a threat? A warning?? What is the meaning of this??

-Simon Blackquill