twodogs-twocats

[twodogs-twocats]

We Fall Like Stars - A Sleep Token Novella

chapter 18

dangerous

WFLS Masterlist [READ ME for cw] I chapter 17 I chapter 19 (coming soon)

Read this chapter on A03

Noa had slept fitfully. There had been no specificity to her dreams, no journey through Vessel’s memories. There had only been the voice of her mother, cutting in and out like a bad radio connection, her words indeterminable. Noa had tried all morning to shake the dreams from her mind, but they had lingered nonetheless.

Now, as she walked side by side with Vessel, Gus following close behind, she could still think of nothing but her mother’s ghost. She imagined the woman running barefoot through this forest, collecting mushrooms and humming songs, her long hair drifting free in the wind. Her mother’s lightness would have brightened even these dark woods, but Noa would never be able to do the same. 

Instead, she unstuck her boot from yet another deep pool of mud. The snow had melted away, the air now warm on her skin, but it had left a mess in its wake. 

Noa struggled to remember the route to the shala. Whatever path that may have once existed was now well overgrown, so the trio had been wandering for the better part of an hour. Noa’s legs ached.

“I should have called Danika,” Noa sighed yet again.

“Why did you not?” Vessel asked. Unlike Noa, he seemed to float above the earth, barely breaking a sweat. Only the mud stains on the bottom of his robe gave any indication he was hiking through the middle of the wilderness.

She was silent for a moment. The real reason was that coming out here in the first place already made her feel too vulnerable. Bringing Vessel along was even worse. Bringing anyone else would have been like ripping away a bandaid from a still open wound. 

Noa’s foot caught on a rock and she pitched forward. The ground sped towards her, but she was received instead by strong arms. 

Vessel helped her stand upright once again, then caught her face between his hands.

His gaze was steady on her, his hands warm against her skin. How much she trusted him now, how much she loved him, this alien creature fallen from the heavens. Though she had not yet said out loud yet, she knew it to be true.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked. “I remember the route to your house. We can turn around right now.”

The book hung heavy from a pack slung over her shoulders. No, she did not want to do this, but the weight of this mystery burdened them both. Noa wanted to see them released from this final shackle. 

And her mother – Noa wanted to be free of her too and her connection to this story, her odd hold on Vessel’s mythos. Noa understood the only way to release all of this was to put one foot in front of the other and continue onward.

“I’m okay,” she said, cupping Vessel’s hand with her own. “Let’s just keep going, we’re bound to find it eventually.”

Vessel nodded.

“Then let me at least carry your pack.”

Noa handed Vessel her bag and felt immediately lighter. They ventured on, stopping every now and then for Noa and Gus to catch their breaths.

Sunlight trickled through the evergreens. She heard crows and the scratching sounds of squirrels, though they remained elusive. As she glanced around, she noticed a flash of red.

“This way.”

The red belonged to a scarf tied around a tree branch. One of her mother’s. To her left, a flash of blue.

They followed the scarf trail. Of course this is how her mother chose to lay a path. Instead of putting down gravel or painting arrows, she had decorated.

It wasn’t long until the trees thinned out and a familiar clearing came into view. 

Large rocks sat in a circle. In the center was another rock circle, this one filled with rotten logs. A few small nests of snow scattered among the shadier spots, competing with blankets of moss. Birds fluttered about, flitting between rays of sunshine.

Noa sat down on one of the rocks. It was cool beneath the seat of her jeans, and she shivered. Vessel sat next to her, resting his hand on her knee. 

“Do you remember much about this place?” he asked.

“No, not at all,” she muttered. She ran her hand along the patch of moss beneath her. “But it screams of my mom.” Little trinkets - suncatchers, beaded bracelets, more scarves - hung from the tree branches around them.

“It is very cute,” Vessel concurred. 

“You know, I look around, and all I can think about is how stupid I was as a kid. How much I hated her sometimes. And yet, she was really so harmless. I mean, she decorated a forest for god's sake.” Noa laughed humorlessly, a bitter taste in her mouth. 

“She would bring home strays - cats, dogs, people. Let them stay in our house for as long as she liked. Fed them, clothed them, let them bathe and sleep. For the longest time I thought it was normal, until I started middle school. That’s when I realized what cute clothes the other girls had, new books, new phones, new jewelry. Their parents would take them on trips to Minneapolis and Las Vegas. I started to realize that we never got to do that stuff because my mother was always giving our stuff away to those who could give us nothing in return. And not just our things and our money, but her time, her attention.

The older I got, the more that gap grew. What little money and energy she had, she dedicated to projects like this, disappearing all evening to work on a project that would do nothing but draw her away more and more. It was insulting at the time. For a while I would fight and scream, but she always responded with some bullshit like “We have enough Noa. We should give to those who have nothing.” And I would just think to myself, how incredibly fucking selfish of her, to do good for some nobody when I was the one who really needed her.

But you know what she would do then? I’d get sick and she’d bring me soup and massage my feet. I’d get heartbroken because yet another friend moved away and she’d cry with me until we fell asleep. I’d buy a new record and she’d dance in the kitchen with me until the middle of the night.”

Noa’s lips broke into a smile.

“I can’t explain it, Vessel. I loved her so much, but I also despised her so much too. My worst pains and my greatest joys are all because of her. Sometimes, I wish I could go back and do it all over again. Be more patient with her, maybe try to be more interested in what she liked. But then I think that if I really could go back, I wouldn’t change a thing, I mean I was just a kid. And I miss her.”

These last words hung heavy for a beat, the air saturated with Noa’s sudden emotion.

“I miss her, but I also am sometimes so happy she’s gone. I feel both so burdened by her memory, and so free with her absence.”

She was quiet now, uncertain if she wanted to cry or laugh or scream.

“Do you know what I love about this place?” Vessel asked, giving her knee another squeeze.

“You mean this fire pit?” Noa asked, giving Vessel a skeptical look.

“No, I mean your planet.”

Noa rolled her eyes.

“If your answer is not me, then what am I even doing here?”

Vessel chuckled.

“I shall never tire of you Noa, you know that?” He smiled. Noa was silent, so he continued. “On The Front, everything is black and white, void of all nuance. We follow strict hierarchies and social codes, and above all, we do what Sleep expects us to do. There is no space for pondering or exploration, as we are required to make decisions quickly and accept the consequences, which come swiftly and often brutally. Here, on Earth, everything is saturated with color. You feel joy and pain together. When someone errs, there might be punishment, but there might be laughter or connection. Imperfection is beauty, and beauty is perfection. What you call love here is colored by so many things, and yet it is still love.”

“So you think it is okay to love her and hate her?”

“I think it is more than okay. I think it is human nature.”

Noa considered this alien perspective. Like everything Vessel said, there was wisdom and intelligence, words to knot together Noa’s frayed edges.

“Shall we explore a bit?” he asked, holding out his hand. She accepted his welcome diversion, threading her fingers through his. They stepped carefully through the foliage, Noa uncertain what they were looking for. They wandered from one ornamented tree to another, examining each trinket.

Gus had been busy scoping out the place, inspecting every tree trunk and scattered stone. Now he loped ahead of them, pausing here and there. Beneath a massive spruce, Gus hesitated, one foot lifted in the air as he sniffed. Noa and Vessel neared the tree, taking in the various baubles, until one of them caused a chill to run down Noa’s spine.

On one of the low branches hung a long silver necklace with a black crystal pendant. It was nearly identical to the one Vessel wore around his own neck. 

Vessel noticed it at the same time she did, giving her a questioning look before he took it off the branch. 

“Why would that be here?” she asked, though she already knew the answer.

Vessel bent down under the branch, clearing the dead needles from the earth. Gus joined him, his nose intent on a spot just to the right of the tree’s trunk. He began to dig. It wasn’t long until they heard the sound of Gus’s paws making contact with something solid.

Noa and Vessel cleared away the dirt. Her heart was in her throat. Her stomach reeled so violently she thought she might vomit.

Eventually, they had removed enough dirt to reveal a box longer than Vessel was tall. Noa stood back while Vessel lifted it from the ground. It was heavy enough that he grunted slightly, setting it down at their feet.

The wood of the box was damp and rotting. They removed the lid easily. Inside, lay both answers and more questions.

A long wooden staff, topped with a teardrop-shaped white crystal. A green robe with a gold pauldron, adorned with pink stones. Two longswords, and a light cutlass. Finally, a handful of translator balls. 

She bent over the chest, Vessel hovering behind her. She stared, for she was too afraid to touch anything. Whatever she was expecting to find, it was not this. 

“You have been here before,” she asked Vessel. “The myth you told me about in the church, the one about your kind who visited Earth before? It was about you.”

He was quiet. Noa turned, and found herself looking at a forest of green.

Vessel was nowhere to be found.

[twodogs-twocats]

I will not be posting a We Fall Like Stars chapter tomorrow. I would like to hold space for the album release (holy fucking shit I’m so excited).

Will post Saturday or Sunday instead. Enjoy the new music y’all!

[twodogs-twocats]

♥︎ Source

[twodogs-twocats]

what if instead of kissing they hugged so tight and didn’t let go in fear of losing each other again

[twodogs-twocats]

We Fall Like Stars - A Sleep Token Novella

chapter 17

drag me under

WFLS Masterlist [READ ME for cw] I chapter 16 I chapter 18

Read this chapter on A03

Vessel wrapped Noa up in a cocoon made up of his arms. She traced her fingers over his skin, combing them through fine hairs that shone golden in the morning sunlight. Vessel hummed, then pulled Noa closer. She breathed him in, taking in that familiar strawberry scent. Now, this close to him, she also caught notes of sea salt and pine. 

She yawned, stretching. They lay naked, their lack of clothing a clue to their relentless activities of the night. To Noa’s utmost delight, Vessel had certainly made up for their time apart.

“How did you sleep?” she asked, rolling over and planting a kiss on his nose.

He smiled, his eyes still closed. It was the most peaceful she had ever seen him look.

“I dreamt. Strange dreams, but all forgotten now that I am awake.”

He smothered her in kisses, and she squealed. Had Noa caught anyone else doing this, she would have rolled her eyes. Noa could appreciate a romp in the sheets, but she had never been one for breakfast in bed or ooey-gooey romance. 

Yet this, with Vessel, felt so right, and she realized maybe she had never allowed herself to feel ooey-gooey because no one had ever been worth it before. Vessel let her bring her walls down. Noa’s mother would have called it healing.

“Anything I can do to get your mind off of the dreams?” she asked.

He kissed her again. Noa prayed the kisses would never stop.

“Noa, my love. You have done more for me than you could ever possibly know. Besides, I have already left them behind, problems for another night, I suppose.”

A change of subject then. 

“Last night was…” She trailed off, blushing. Earth-shattering, other-worldly, spine-tingling – all phrases she would use to describe making love to Vessel. Still, none of those seemed to fit quite right.

While their bodies had merged, so had their minds. At one point, Noa found herself looking upon her own naked body, glistening with sweat, her eyes rolled back as Vessel held her close. It would have felt like a fever dream, if not for the glorious pleasure radiating through her body.

“It is like I have said,” Vessel explained. “Something happened that first night I arrived here when I entered your mind. Somehow, it connected our neural pathways. I think we can block it out pretty well most of the time, yet, it seems last night we were… distracted enough to let our guards slip.”

This made sense, given the fact that Noa dreamed of Vessel’s memories, the sleeping state another moment when her mental guards would be down.

“Has this ever happened with anyone else?” “Not like this.”

“Then why?” Neither the pleasant soreness of her body, nor the rose-colored haze of her mind could not keep the questions at bay.

Vessel stroked his thumb across her forehead, before his fingers trailed down her cheek, her neck, and then rested over her heart. He closed his eyes and was quiet, as though listening to her heart beat.

“Maybe we were always meant to find each other.”

“Across the stars?” she asked, smiling.

“Across universes. Across infinities.”

“Sometimes it does feel that way. With you and your friends crashing her, and with the book. I can’t help but feel like I’m missing something important.”

Vessel’s fingers now traveled down the rest of her body, moving down her belly, the tops of her thighs. Noa felt that same burning deep in her core, the same desire that seemed to accompany every touch Vessel gifted her and every word he spoke into her ears. 

“I have similar worries. But for now, Noa, let us rest. You and I have not had nearly enough of that.”

“I don’t know Vessel,” Noa teased. “Rest was not exactly what I had in mind.

He kissed her again, deeply. From down below, Noa heard the faint melody of Deck the Halls. 

“Oh my god!” Noa squealed.

Vessel jolted, yanked from his drowsiness.

“It's Christmas!”

__________

The house was filled with the scent of burning wood and fresh-baked cookies. John and III had woken up early and were just pulling a batch of snickerdoodles out of the oven when Noa and Vessel entered the kitchen. III gave them a knowing smirk, which Noa made a point to ignore.

John was wearing a sweatshirt with Rudolph the Rednosed reindeer on it that had to be older than she was. His cheeks were red, and he hummed merrily about the kitchen. Every string light and holiday tchotchke was fully lit and displayed, and between John’s beer belly and greying hair and this abundance of Christmas decor, they might as well have been in Santa’s workshop.

Danika cuddled on the sofa, sipping at a massive mug of hot cocoa. II and IV stared outside the window, gazing out at the snow as it mosied down from the sky.

Noa felt like she was in some super quaint, super cliche Christmas movie, everything jolly and bright, surrounded by people she loved. When was the last time she had been in a home full of people she cared about? This thought brought a pang to her chest, as she looked around and took in everyone’s happy faces. Although Vessel and his friends had never experienced Christmas, their bright eyes and big smiles seemed to indicate they were feeling the spirit nonetheless.

Vessel grabbed Noa’s hand and smiled at her gently.

“Merry Christmas,” she said.

They had all agreed on no presents, seeing as for more than half the group this was their first Christmas and they weren’t taking a trip to the mall anytime soon. Noa was also selfishly motivated, as she had never considered herself a good gift giver.

However, as she sat on the sofa, everyone laden with plates of cookies and mugs of something hot, Noa realized that some of the group had turned up with small gifts anyways.

III handed out sugar cookies, each one decorated to look like the person he was giving them too. There was no question who was who, as every icing color perfectly matched the various shades of hair, eyes, skin. It must have taken him days.

“John helped me gather the ingredients…” he said sheepishly, but John only laughed and smacked III on the back, saying III was the artist and he was grateful to be of assistance to such a master. 

From John, everyone received a pair of thick leather gloves, perfect for doing outdoor work in the winter, and from Danika, a pair of socks, each decorated with an animal. “What is this creature?” Ivy asked, holding up his set of dark blue socks decorated with pandas.

Ivy’s gift consisted of theft and an unexpected performance. To Noa’s dismay, he revealed the same acoustic guitar from the church (“Stealing from a church has to be some sort of super sin right?” Danika giggled.), but then proceeded to serenade them with a collection of chords and melodies unfamiliar to Noa.

“It is a song from our home planet. One the soldiers sing when we make camp and they have been drinking.”

The music was both haunting and lively.

“Is there much music on the front?” Noa asked. 

Ivy shook his head, his mouth turning down slightly.

“I am fascinated by the music here. There is so much variety. I wish I could learn to play it all.”

Noa laughed.

“Maybe you can.”

“Your turn,” Vessel leaned into Noa, as Ivy resumed his strumming. In her hand, he placed a feather. It was nearly as long as her forearm, with a bright white quill and strands that flowed into an inky black. 

“I could not figure out which bird it came from, but I thought it was beautiful.”

It glimmered in the sunlight.

“It is beautiful, Vessel. Thank you so much.” She kissed him again. Although the gift was simple, Noa cherished all the same. 

“Your turn.”

She rummaged in her pocket.

“Hold out your hand,” she instructed.

Like a child, Vessel closed his eyes and held out his hand as directed, biting his lips to suppress a smile. Noa placed the object in his palm.

“Okay, you can look now.”

His fingers uncurled, revealing a tarnished gold 

ring. Three small olive stones were inlaid in the band.

“Did you make this?”

Noa guffawed.

“Of course not, I’m not nearly that talented. It was my mother's.” Vessel looked taken aback for a moment.

“Are you sure you want to give this to me?” “Yes, I’m sure. She would have wanted someone to have it, and I’ve never been much of a jewelry wearer. If anyone should have it, it's you. You and my mother would have gotten along. She was also great at accessorizing.”

Noa eyed the layers of necklaces that hung to Vessel’s belly button. Vessel laughed, putting his arm around her.

“Thank you Noa. I wish I could have met her. I will treasure this for the rest of my life.”

They spent the rest of the day just like this, watching Christmas movies, eating copious amounts of cookies, and snuggling on the couch. Noa’s cheeks were sore from smiling, her heart so full her chest ached.

Days quickly turned into weeks, weeks into months. Before Noa knew it, March said hello and the first bits of green started to appear. Occasional snow still fell, but it rarely lasted long, only piling up on the massive heaps left over from months of shoveling into the same spot. 

Noa found herself wishing more than anything that these quiet days would never end, because for once, the quiet was not from loneliness.

She and Vessel stayed at her place. Outside of her vet appointments, they had few responsibilities, so they relished in long kisses and unexplored pleasures, night-capped by meandering conversations. 

There were no more secrets between them. Noa found herself talking about every ex-boyfriend, every fight with her mother, every broken bone and favorite band. Vessel shared similar stories. She had often wondered how Vessel could stand living in such a dark, scary place like The Front, but she recognized the glimmers of hope in what he shared - campfire laughter with his companions, hours spent between the pages of a good book, the vibrancy of civilization, albeit one enslaved to a vengeful god-queen.

The rest of the boys stayed at John’s place. They seemed to like being there, and may have sensed they weren't exactly wanted at Noa’s. Most evenings though, John either brought everyone to visit Noa’s house, or Noa and Vessel went over to John’s, and they all had dinner together. 

On the weekends, they would take road trips. Nowhere far, nowhere busy, and oftentimes they drove at night. John had taken the time to get his truck windows tinted, so they packed blankets and snacks and snuggled in, driving through the mountains, through small South Dakota towns. 

Danika tagged along as much as she could. Whatever had happened between her and III must have been patched over at some point in time, as they actually appeared to be getting along quite well. It was with II, however, who Danika seemed to spend the most time with. The two could not be more different, Noa thought, but she often caught them pouring over books together, or on nicer days, taking walks around John’s property. 

Routines developed, relationships deepend, and the daylight hours lengthened. The only streak of grey among the sunny days was Vessel’s more frequent dreams – dreams, as Vessel called them, but Noa understood these were actually violent nightmares, driving Vessel to jolt awake in the middle of the night, shaking and covered in sweat. He never wanted to talk about them. The most Noa had gathered was that they had to do with Sleep, but whether they were Vessel’s memories or simply the nonsense stuff of dreams, she wasn’t sure. 

One morning, Vessel woke up with a question on his mind.

“Noa,” he said, stroking her back while she dozed, face-down. “Can we go see the place where your mom found the book today?” Amidst all her time with Vessel, the book had lain relatively neglected for two reasons. The first was that the forest shala would have been covered with snow, making it impossible to separate the space from the snow-covered woods that surrounded it. The main reason, however, was that Noa purposely never brought the book up. For the first time in a long time, Noa was experiencing peace and she didn’t want to ruin it. Sure, the mystery tugged at her, but for once, Noa wanted to enjoy her comfort.

Vessel seemed to sense this.

“You can say no, of course. I would understand if you did not want to go there. I am still curious about where the book came from.”

“No, you’re right,” she sighed. “It’s about time we go check it out.”

As much as Noa didn’t want to, she still had many unanswered questions. Trying to comfort herself, she thought maybe they could find something to help Vessel with his nightmares. Still, there was so much else Noa imagined finding there, and none of it was anything she felt ready to face, as she also had the sneaking suspicion that once she visited the shala, nothing in her life would ever be the same.

[twodogs-twocats]

A lil thing I wanted to try with iii ‘cause he’s such an icon ✨✨✨ he rocks any hairstyle and any combo of outfits and I’m here for it

(This was a really experimental piece but I hope y’all will like it :> )

[NOT FOR SALE]

[twodogs-twocats]

Dear Vessel,

Your emblem, lyrics, imagery, and your stage likeness is inked into MANY PEOPLE'S SKIN. You will NEVER be forgotten. Pinky swear.

Yours in Worship!

P.S., go look at the various Sleep Token tattoo hashtags out there, there are so many absolutely siiiiiiick Sleep Token tats out there.

[twodogs-twocats]

Hi tumblr friends! I need some help!

I���m going to my first ever ren faire!! I’m so excited and definitely want to dress up!

I’m looking for recommendations on where to buy cute pieces that isn’t Amazon (just trying not to support bezos and what he supports). I’m okay with a little crafting, but I have NO CLUE how to sew, so I will probably need to buy stuff.

I’m just not even sure where to start, but I want to look cute!

Any suggestions?? 💕🧚

[twodogs-twocats]

I always adored fanart that looked like old warn-out magazines, this is my first crack at that!

Worship

Time:4h 51m

[twodogs-twocats]

Gustave Doré 

[twodogs-twocats]

credit to missing1imbs on X

[twodogs-twocats]

sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

[twodogs-twocats]

We Fall Like Stars - A Sleep Token Novella

chapter 16

vore

WFLS Masterlist [READ ME for cw] I chapter 15 I chapter 17

Read this chapter on A03

“Where did you get this?” Noa’s chest was hollow, the threat of a multitude of emotions lingering just around the next breath, but not quite ready to surface. She was still trying to understand what she was holding in her hands.

Danika’s voice, usually light and musical, was now dense and troubled.

“You know the forest shala your mom built?”

Of course she did, but Noa had never called it that. It was really just a glorified fire pit. Her mother had spent months wandering off to chop wood, haul rocks, and dig up dirt. The result – a hole in the ground where logs could be stacked, boulders of various shapes and sizes placed around it for seating. She had planned to host workshops here, invite all her hippy friends from near and far to sing kumbaya, or whatever it was they did, but she had died before she could really make use of it.

Noa had not been fond of the project in the slightest, though she had struggled to voice why at the time. Her mother had probably blamed it on teenage angst, but really, Noa had been sad her mother was spending more time in the woods than with her.

Noa nodded. 

“Your mom always said she chose that spot because it felt magical. And I agree. There is something special about that space. The trees grow so green, the birds always sing. We even found musk root there once. Your mom and I harvested it and spent days trying to distill it into an oil.”

Danika’s troubled expression was momentarily broken by a distant smile. Then her frown returned once again.

“She spent so much time out there,” Danika continued. “I never really questioned it, until I noticed she was more distant - than usual, that is - always looking up at the sky. She mentioned she had started having strange dreams, but never spoke much of them in detail.”

Noa’s belly churched. She didn’t like where this was headed.

“One day, your mom hands me this box. She seemed really off, but I just thought maybe she was just not feeling well or something. She told me to take good care of it. That we might need it one day. I had no idea what she meant. A week later, she died. I- I should have done something. Told somebody, once I realized she was acting strange.” Tears once again formed in Danika’s eyes. 

“There wasn’t anything you could have done. Don’t put that on yourself,” Noa said, her voice tired. “My mother was always acting strange. Besides, she died of a heart attack. No one could have predicted it.”

Danika let out a big breath, wiping at her eyes. “Anyways, it wasn’t long after that that I started having the dreams myself.”

At that time, Noa had been far too busy being a teenager to notice whatever trouble her mother might have been experiencing. And in all fairness, Laura had been so distant, Noa would not have even had the opportunity to notice, even if she had been paying attention.

“Noa, are you going to be okay?” Danika asked. 

She joined Noa on the bed, placing her hand on Noa’s knee.

Noa ran her fingers over the book. The black leather was cracked, but still shiny. The box contained a few other occult assortments - a crescent-moon pendant, a handful of small crystals, a handmade pendulum. Nothing unusual.

At last, she dared open the book. The pages were made of a thick greyish parchment, and were filled with runic shapes, squares and diamonds and dots. Only a quick glance through it confirmed that it was not written in any language she knew, and likely not any language of this earth. 

“How could she read this?” Noa mumbled, but Danika only shook her head.

“I don’t know. This book’s always troubled me. That’s why I kept it so long. But I never got the chance to ask her about it…” Danika’s voice trailed off and Noa realized she was still trying not to cry.

Noa could only feel confused. 

“I need to talk to Vessel.”

__________

They drove around town with Noa’s mind in a fog. Danika packed a bag, and they stopped back at Noa’s place for her to do the same, making sure to pack some clothes that actually fit her. 

The temperature had warmed slightly, the sun out and shining, but it did nothing to lift her spirits. There were too many unanswered questions, questions that would not be answered until she spoke with Vessel. So she raced to John’s house, driving so fast her truck wobbled dangerously.

Noa and Danika were greeted by lively chatter emanating from John’s living room. Everyone was gathered around the tree, a strong fire going in the hearth. Home Alone was on TV, which seemed to have sparked an animated discussion as to which items around John’s living room could be used to stop an intruder. 

They all looked so happy, like a big family gathered for the holidays. Her chest ached. 

Gus, who had been curled happily at Vessel’s feet, jumped up when he saw Noa. He ran to her, covering both her and Danika with sloppy kisses. 

Noa caught III’s gaze lingering on Danika. Danika blushed next to her, focused solely on him. She barely blinked. Noa wasn’t quite sure if this was fear or embarrassment, or something else entirely, but it would have to wait. 

Vessel stood, following close after Gus and greeting her with a smile. But his expression quickly faltered, his eyes drifting to the book she held in her hands.

“W- Where did that come from?”

“I was hoping you’d tell me.” She walked to the cluster of chairs and sofas and set the book on the coffee table. Silence permeated. 

“It was my mother’s. She gave it to Danika a week before she died. Sounds like she found it in the woods.”

Vessel flipped through the pages, albeit absentmindedly, like he already knew what the pages held.

“What does it say?” she asked. 

“It is a book of prayers and songs dedicated to Sleep. Everyone on The Front has one. This one here, for example,” he pointed to a block of the runic text, “says After death, let us be swallowed whole. Let us become One with Sleep so that we may go where no one else will go.”

Noa had nothing to say. Confusion, weariness, fear, too much of everything, crowded her mind, removing her ability to speak. And yet at the same time, she felt numb. 

Danika took her hand, her fingers cool and pleasant, pulling Noa away from a freefall into panic.

“Noa.” Vessel’s voice was gentle. Too gentle. The same voice she used to tell someone it was time to put their pet down. Noa braced herself. “How did your mom die?”

She furrowed her brow. 

“She went for a hike in the woods and had a heart attack.”

“Was that… to be expected?”

“I mean, her family had a history of heart trouble and my mom never went to the doctor because she didn’t believe in Western medicine, or some crap like that. Why?”

Vessel stared at her for a long while. 

“I’m not sure that’s the whole story.”

__________

The air in John’s barn was earthy and damp. Heat lamps were set here and there, helping to keep the goats warm during the cold winter nights. They slept close together anyways, their bodies snuggled for warmth. 

Noa sat alone on a bale of hay in one of the goat pens. Shenoa, the baby she had helped birth, pranced at her feet, occasionally nibbling at the hay. She had already gotten so big, her brown coat fluffy and soft. April was obviously doing a good job caring for her. 

Noa had too much on her mind. Vessel and his friends had only generated more questions. Vessel’s suggestion that a heart attack may not have actually been the cause of her mother’s death was horrifying, but what had actually caused it, he could not say.

She had come here just to get away, try to steady her mind a bit. Being around animals always made her feel a bit better, especially when being around people became too complicated. 

The sound of footsteps reached her ears, followed by the creak of the barn door.

So much for being alone. Still, it was nice to know she now had people in her life who cared enough about her to check on her. 

She glanced up, expecting to see Vessel, or maybe Danika. Instead, she was annoyed to see II, looking just as glum as she felt. 

“Look, I don’t really want to talk right now,” she asserted. She distracted herself by running her hands through the Shenoa’s fur. The last thing she wanted to hear was another reason Vessel and his friends needed to leave.

The hay shifted as II sat down next to her.

“Danika told me you wanted my help.”

Amidst the shock of the book, Noa had forgotten all about her plan to work with II. 

“You expect me to believe you are here because you actually want to help me?” Noa couldn’t help the disdain seeping into her voice. 

“She was especially convincing,” he huffed. “For someone so small, she is rather terrifying.”

“You’re one to talk,” Noa retorted.

To her complete surprise, II broke out in a fit of laughter.

“Noa, I am many things, but terrifying is not a word I would use to describe myself.” His voice was laced with amusement. 

It was the first time he had ever used her name. Usually, he just called her human or girl.

“What do you want?” she asked, her voice still icy.

“To help you.”

“Well it’s too late,” she bit back. “I was going to ask if I could help you fix your ship. I don’t know how I could possibly do that, but I wanted to at least try to make it up to Vessel after spilling his secret.”

II was quiet for a moment. Noa continued to stare downwards, refusing to meet II’s eyes.

“Why would you want to fix the ship?” he asked. “That means Vessel could leave.”

“I know.” “Don’t you want him to stay?”

“Of course I do!” Her voice cracked with frustration. “But I’m not trying to hold him hostage! You said it yourself. He is him, and I… I am just me. You don’t belong here. For me to keep him here would be selfish.”

Another beat of silence passed.

“Once, I helped capture a creature from a planet Sleep aimed to conquer,” II said, his voice low. “It was a beautiful species – intelligent, empathetic, physically very weak, but cunning. I was only able to capture one. When I brought it back to The Front, Sleep tortured the creature for a week. She cut it open every way you could think of. Flayed it, peeling its skin away like ribbons –” He shook his head in disgust. “And she made me watch the entire time, to punish me for failing to capture the rest. I will never forget the creature’s screams. The way she mutilated it. Its death was a mercy for us both.”

Bile rose in Noa’s throat.

“Everything I did, everything I still do, I did for Vessel. He has been dedicated to Sleep for so long, and yet I think he has always been lost. I spoke to him after what you said in the church. I - I was surprised by what you revealed, but not angry. Why now? Why here?

But now I know. It is because of you. I think, for the first time, you have shown Vessel what it means to actually be loved. Simply the fact that you are willing to let him leave shows you care for him more than Sleep ever could. I think he knows that. Vessel may have left out of shame, or curiosity, or maybe even sheer boredom. But he stayed because of you.”

Butterflies churned in her stomach, the meaning of II’s words sinking in. He was accepting her and he was accepting Vessel’s choice to flee Sleep. 

“Besides,” he chuckled. “I am fairly certain III stole some of the ship’s cables. It is absurd that someone as smart as I has not fixed the ship by now.”

“Couldn’t you just take what you need from Vessel’s pod?”

“Yes, I could. But I will not.”

At last, Noa met his eyes. There was still something distant there. A mask held in place, to protect himself. She was sure the same mask was reflected in her face. 

“So you really don’t want to leave?” His lips tugged up, the barest hint of a smile.

“As long as Vessel chooses to remain here, I am content to remain as well.”

He stooped down to pet Shenoa. She nibbled curiously at his fingers, losing interest when she discovered he had nothing to feed her. II’s smile grew.

“I think there is much here I could learn to care for.” II stood, making his way toward the barn door. “Take your time, but I know Vessel will be anxious to see you. I had to swear on my life that I wasn’t coming here to yell at you some more, so make sure you vouch for me, alright? I would prefer to continue living.”

He turned, casually kicking at some stray bits of hay.

“And Noa,” he called, his hand on the door. “I promise to help you figure out what happened to your mom. I do not expect you to forgive me right away, but I think you will understand me when I say that I did it all because I love him.”

With that, he left Noa alone once more.

She wallowed in what now felt like a never ending state of confusion and overly-complicated feelings. First Danika, the book, then her mother, somehow tangled up in all of this. Now II, for so long an angry know-it-all, now treating her like an actual human being… It was too much to process. Each day felt as long as a year. And still throughout it all, the one thing she wanted kept getting pulled away from her. 

No longer. 

__________

When she returned to John’s house, all was quiet. III and IV were snuggled on the couch, III dozing on IV’s shoulder. She heard the faint murmur of conversation, John’s and II’s voices emanating from the kitchen. 

Danika was curled up in an armchair watching a Christmas episode of Friends. She gave Noa a questioning look, and Noa nodded, indicating she was okay. 

“Where is Vessel?” she asked.

“I think in the shower upstairs,” Danika replied.

“Thank you for talking to II.”

Danika smirked.

“I have no doubt he behaved himself.”

Noa smiled. “Whatever you did worked like a 

charm.”

She said her good nights, then headed upstairs. 

She was nervous, but for once it wasn’t about some nebulous sense of impending doom. She flattened down her hair, tucking a stand behind her ears.

Across the hall from the guest room where she stayed was a small bathroom. The door was wide open, no one inside, but steam lingered in the air, and a trail of water led from the bathroom to the closed door of the guest room.

Vessel was inside, sitting on the floor with his back resting against the side of the bed. He held the prayer book open on his lap, studying its pages. 

He looked up when Noa entered, and she blushed when she saw him wearing nothing but a white towel slung low around his waist. His hair was still damp, but curling slightly as it dried. He shifted his legs nervously. 

“Hey,” he said, giving her a soft smile. The sky was now dark outside, the beginnings of stars twinkling into life. He read in the low light of a bedside lamp. “How are you feeling? I hope II did not give you too much trouble.”

Noa smirked, fidgeting her bare feet across the wood floor.

“He was actually rather nice,” she opened her eyes wide in mock surprise.

Vessel chuckled. 

“He wants to help you. And so do I.”

Noa took small footsteps towards Vessel.

“I know.” 

She reached Vessel, and dropped to her knees in front of him. The space between them was palpable, a very physical barrier between her and what she wanted. She took the book out of his hand, closed it, and set it on the bedside table. Vessel’s eyes darkened.

“I have something else on my mind now. All of this,” she waved her arms around in the empty air, “has been nothing but a distraction. Keeping me from the only thing I want.”

“And what is it you want, Noa?” “You.”

She placed her hands on his shoulders, and came to straddle him. He grabbed her waist, his mouth hung open ever so slightly.

She kissed him softly on his lips, and he pulled her tight against his chest, asking for more. Instead, her kisses traveled across his cheek, his jaw, his neck. He swallowed, then hissed when she bit the tender flesh of his throat.

Her hands traveled up his chest, the necklaces he still wore tinkling as she brushed past them. She found his heartbeat and lingered, feeling the strong pulse beneath her fingertips.

Noa had read once that the whites of a human's eyes allowed humans to better track each other's emotional states as it drew more attention to the irises. Although Vessel’s eyes were nothing but black voids, Noa had no trouble seeing what lay there – desire.

His hands travelled up her waist, traipsing beneath her shirt.

“Take it off,” she said.

He growled, then grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it off of her. 

She kissed him again, but this time, their lips remained connected. There were no more distractions.

Now it was his turn to explore her body, his hands drifting across her chest, her stomach, her thighs. Noa was unexplored territory yet to be conquered.

He wrapped his arms tight around her, and with ease, he stood, hoisting her up with him. She squealed at the sudden movement, wrapping her legs tighter around him. He bit her lower lip in reply and she smiled, their breaths mingling.

Making his way to the bed, he set her gently down on her back.

“I have waited so long to have you to myself,” he said. His voice was low and gravelly, Noa’s belly lurching at his sheer need.

“Don’t you dare wait any longer.”

She took his hands, bringing them to the clasp of her bra. When it fell away, he pressed kisses down her chest, lingering, biting, his hands following close behind. Noa arched at his touch, her breath coming in pants. 

His kisses travelled down, down, down, until he began to undo the buttons of her jeans. She lifted her hips, his fingers hooking over layers of fabric, until she was left completely naked before him. He hummed, his enjoyment obvious in the sound of his voice, and in the growing bulge beneath the towel.

She undid the knot, freeing him. He was fully erect, ready for her, just as she was for him. 

He hoisted one of her legs to his shoulder. Starting at her toes, he placed kisses across her skin.

“I have travelled across the stars -” a kiss to her toes. “Explored countless civilizations –”  now a kiss to her calf. “Seen endless oceans, towering mountains –” a kiss to the back of her knee. 

Noa squirmed as the kisses travelled higher up her leg.

“I have seen planets colliding –” a kiss to her inner thigh. Now he looked at her, setting her leg back down so that she was spread before him. “And yet I have seen nothing as beautiful as you, Noa.”

He brought his lips to her center, and Noa gasped at the sudden, but long anticipated contact. He was warm and wet and soft, and oh – so good. He feasted on her, utterly devouring her. The burn in her belly glowed brighter, nerves igniting.

The pressure built, and she threaded her fingers through his hair. Every flick of his tongue brought her closer to her peak. He moaned into her, and the sound he made was her undoing. She came, an entire cosmos flashing across her eyes.

Vessel ate until she was finished, then he pulled her close, smiling.

“I could do that until every sun in the sky had stopped shining,” he breathed into her neck.

He hoisted her up once again, and she wrapped her legs around him, feeling him pressed into her, her core aching with need.

“Vess?” She asked, her breath coming in pants. 

“Yes,” he said, still placing kisses to her skin here and there.

She had no pretty words, only the intensity of her craving.

“Fuck me.”

He groaned, placing a kiss between her breasts as he lowered her slowly onto his cock. This feeling was like nothing she had ever experienced before – complete connection, the barriers of space and time and physical matter, made null. Here, there was only pleasure, and it filled her to the point of breaking.

The rock of his hips sparked every nerve inside her. She tipped her head back as her fingernails sank into the muscles of his shoulders, moaning with every thrust.

Vessel’s breath began to come in pants as well, and she knew he was close. She kissed him on the lips, her own orgasm on the horizon. 

He sank his teeth into her skin, the points breaking flesh, and she gasped. But it was delicious. Perhaps pleasure could coexist with pain, but this was on their own terms. 

He laid her back down on her back, never breaking their contact. Closer and closer to a culmination of every heated gaze and every frantic kiss they had shared.

“Noa,” he said, her name a prayer uttered into the night.

Her release came down like heaven.

[twodogs-twocats]

[twodogs-twocats]

🖤still missing🖤

[twodogs-twocats]

📸: @ sara.weddle

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the immortal classic 🤌