twosidesofhorror

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lake ohrid

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fake me hard #neongods Jelle de Graaf 2019&2021

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fake me hard #teamhuman Joep van Lieshout 2021

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fake me hard

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🐱 https://www.instagram.com/p/B8JPgmInboG/?igshid=1l0c3f6qdsq5t

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Wish I could look like this everyday. #Mood #Skeleton #Halloween #Horror #BlackandWhite #Makeup #Spookyscary #SexySkelly #Undead

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📸: by Jessie Hemmes #horror #twosidesofhorror #photography #dark #girl #art #let'stalk #creepy https://www.instagram.com/p/B5k97EUAJXB/?igshid=kcia66vm4ug4

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My take on... Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich

To combine a creepy, half-burned up elderly man from Europe, an extreme case of discrimination from the ideology of the SS during World War 2, an Egyptian mystical curse or spell that is still active after one’s death, a 30th anniversary of a mass killing spree and… puppets?

The movie is about a guy named Edgar who gets a divorce and is invited by his mom to stay at her and his dads house for the time being. He works in a comic bookstore with his best friend Markowitz, where he sells and draws comics. While being is his hometown he meets this girl from high school again named Ashley and they start to date. Besides from the kissing and (apparently) lots of sexy time you see nothing of this relationship. He is trying to find ways to get money so he can get a place of his own. Being back at his childhood home he scouts through old boxes and drawers to feel sorry for himself and be melodramatic. He finds an odd-looking doll which used to be his brother’s, before he sadly passed away. Now, as soon as he grabs the doll and starts to turn it over and upside down, a knife comes right out of the dolls hand and slices his inner arm. But that is not all. As soon as he turns it around again and stares into those hollow eyes, a hook comes out of his other hand. He finds out his brother found this doll at a camp he went to and had never any real attachment to it, so Edgar tries to find a place to sell it. He finds out there is an auction for these kinds of dolls at an 30th anniversary of the infamous Toulon-murders. Because that is something worth celebration, obviously.

The three of them (Edgar, Markowitz and Ashley) decide to go there and see what it is all about, and to try to sell the doll. They check into a hotel to stay for a couple days. On the second day they get a tour off the house where Mr. Toulon tortured and murdered people, and where he made his infamous dolls. Here everyone finds out that dear Mr. Toulon was a dedicated Nazi-lover and fanatic. His grave, a gorgeous mausoleum with weird looking spikes, which Edgar is so kind to point out, is also on this land. When they get back to the hotel all hell breaks loose in a rapid motion. First, several people report their dolls missing and stolen. While this is being discusses and investigated with the local police the first murders take place. These are some weird ass murders where the victims are chosen based on the “racial purity” ideology of the SS. We see a man and a prostitute getting stabbed during sex, a gay man getting his throat sliced right after he finishes talking to his mom, a lazy-ass fat and disgusting man gets his head chopped off while peeing (after which he pees on his own head, lovely), a sleeping, pregnant lady getting her belly ripped open because a puppet entered via her backdoor and goes off with her unborn child. One puppet rips open a poor, old man’s back and decides to take over his body completely. Just to name a few. And all these murders and commotion seem to happen so fast it almost look surreal. Now, I can withstand gore and weird ways of slicing bodies up or stabbing people in sensitive places like the eyes, but what I can and will not accept in any movie is when someone’s ankles are being sliced, right through the Achilles heel. I hoped the scene in Hostel was the one and only time I had to see that, but unfortunately, no. No, they had to get that in during the sex-scene. Thank you very much.  

After more deaths and more hysteria all the hotel guests are asked to assemble in the lobby, where everybody decides to freak the fuck out after the power goes out. Thrice. Because that’s what’s really scary off course. They dare to just run for it and hope for the best. All I can say is that hope wasn’t on their side that evening. The surviving smarty-panties decide to take cover in the kitchen. After realizing these puppets are notorious Nazi’s, they try to use their dear friend Markowitz, who happens to be a Jew, as bait and just shoot these guys senseless. The only problem is that there might be around 40+ puppets who are possessed, and tiny, and super strong and stealthy, and work together and punch holes and get to your unborn child through your rectum and what not. So, what could possibly go wrong, right?

One of the funniest moments where I had to slap myself across the face because I couldn’t believe they actually did this, is where Markowitz sort of finds a girl to hook up with and this girl is just plain stupid. This girl happens to have a manga character pin on her work shirt and being the comic fanatic that he is, he recognizes it, and the two of them start talking. When they use big guy Marko here as bait and things turn bad, he and his girlfriend, alongside Edgar and Ashley decide to take cover in a hotel room. Here poor Marko gets stabbed in the throat and dies. But they can’t morn now, there are killer puppets after them! They start to jump out of the window one by one with Marko’s little Asian girlfriend as last. Edgar and Ashley, having normal IQ’s, jump right into the dumpster downstairs. This girl does not. She jumps right onto the side of the dumpster and dies instantly…

Where this movie is already so bad it is actually entertaining, they decide to throw that scene in like it is nothing. And it is nothing, not really. But, just, why?

Edgar says in a very sweet, little voice that he now knows how his brother died.

Edgar and Ashley seem to know how to stop all this and head to Mr. Toulon’s mausoleum. When they arrive after a thirty-minute drive or so and stop the car for a minute, they decide to buckle up. Because… logic. They see that those weird spikes are giving off electrical shocks. Edgar here warns his girlfriend very briefly about driving the car straight through the mausoleum’s wall before he does just that. Mr. Toulon gets disturbed in his death and the puppets stop killing. Unfortunately for the two lovebirds, Mr. Toulon isn’t as dead, and slow, and dumb as zombie movies make them seem. But then again this is an Egyptian spell, not a zombie-virus. Mr. Toulon kicks the shit out of the two and goes back to grab his gun (?) and shoot Ashley, after which he just leaves and let’s Edgar live.

Do the puppets get alive after this again? Because Mr. Toulon is not really dead. Why does it happen now? How does he get this spell? Why does he have this spell? So many questions…

This movie is full of weird and sudden deaths, fast paced shifts between scenes and a story which is not really explained. You get almost no backstory whatsoever (this has probably to do with the fact that this reboot is the 14th version, or spin-off, or sequel, or part of this huge franchise). What you do get is 86 minutes of pure puppet-gore. This movie has some excellent deaths with great visual arts and a good way of keeping it interesting. Everything could’ve felt very fast-paced because it was just so damn interesting to watch. The way it was filmed felt a bit off. It looked like a B-movie from the way the camera was angled, and the lack of storyline didn’t really help. The deaths, the blood, the intestines, the gore, everything important basically looked really fucking good though. At this point the weird point of views and slightly off-colored shots didn’t matter. It worked.

The puppets look absolutely gorgeous and really original. The creepy factor is definitely there. I can honestly say that I want to watch those other movies and read the comics. The art is just beautiful and well made, I want to see more of that.

I do have to say that this movie means absolutely nothing if watched on its own without further interest in the story. So, for a movie on movie-night, this isn’t really a good movie to watch. You just get more questions and find out you need to invest a lot of more time to get the whole story. But, if you got nothing better to do like me, I think this is going to be a hell of a ride to follow, figure out and enjoy. This wasn’t really my favorite movie to be honest. Let me hear what you think.

What was your favorite scene?

Which part of all those other ones do I have to watch first?

Which one is your favorite puppet?

Let’s talk.

-Miez.

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Fight, Freeze or Scooby Dooing outta here.

Wether you are studying biology, philosophy, psychology or if you have ever walked through a Haunted house, I believe almost everyone has ever heard of Fight, Flight or Freeze. The three natural reactions to getting scared. After a couple of years of working as a scare actor outside in a scare zone, I have managed to see a lot of hilarious and frightening reactions when somebody gets scared. From hiding behind their hands crying, to giving me a quick punch to the nose.

I've seen a big buff boy hiding behind his itty bitty girlfriend, I've had a 12 year old girl punch me on my knee. One guy got so scared that he immediately excused himself for farting!

These reactions are all normal reactions to getting scared, it defines your character. I am a fighter when it gets to getting scared, but instead of using my fists I'll use my words (and yes, I had to learn not to use my fists, sorry scare actor from Amsterdam Dungeon that I gave a bloody nose). So instead of fighting I'll start screaming words of wisdom like: "Jiminy christmas on a bike." and, "It's okay, it can happen!" and that usually makes my friends and sometimea actors or colleagues laugh, which is better than bloody noses. (Again, Sorry!)

So if the responses so far are natural, then we got to ask ourselves a simple question: "Do actors in horror films respond natural?"

The simple answer is no. First of all it simply wouldn't be plot convenient, and second of all the actors have to retake a scene so many times that we can't expect them to act naturally. A great exception to this is the first chest burst scene in the first Alien movie, which was done with practical effects without informing the cast, making the reaction geniune.

But if you take a look at that scene, you'll find that the actors either freeze or try to get away. Two common natural reactions. They'll throw their arms and hands in front of their face and chest, because the brain and heart are the two most vital organs of the human body.

Movies can't movie with a sensible fight, fright or freeze system. The folks from Paranormal Activity would've noped outta that house, there would've been only one Jaws movie and movies like Halloween or Texas Chainsaw Massacre would've ended within an half hour. Simply because people either freeze up and die, fight back and die, or flee the scene never to return again. Forget that: "I'm going back to avenge my fallen friends." Just run so fast that scooby doo music starts playing!

But I guess that's why horror movies are also kind of entertaining to watch. When we look at them we always see the main characters are making "mistakes." and often the actions we define as mistakes are the times when they don't make a logical triple F decision. Why open the door? Why read the cursed book? Why slowly back away? When you could either kick that door, never even look at that book or just supersonic yourself away from the situation.

But what do you think? Would movies be more or less entertaining if the actors acted more like humans than plot devices? Let me know!

- Marque

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The First Act

Everyone who is reading this! You are all welcome on our page of freedom and curiosity. But before we unleash our madness, we wanted to start off with something easy: an introduction. We are Marque and Miez! My name is Miez, short for Michelle, and I’m here to talk with you about horror and everything horror-related.Ever since I was about 12 years old I have always been fascinated with horror and the darker side of things. Until not so long ago I always thought it was a bad thing. That I was emo (I was), or goth (I tried), or just plain depressed, even though I didn’t feel that way, not really. I get happy when I watch a horror movie, or get lost in a thriller book, especially the old ones. When watching gore movies I can’t help but just laugh the whole way through. I get so excited when intestines fly everywhere and people almost puke, or that it is just so damn disturbing to the mind that you feel sick - think Tusk 2014. Friends always tell me that I’m obsessed, that I have a bit of a problem regarding old horror movies and books. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wanna buy, and watch, or read, a new one. I just love the feeling of it all, of the authenticity, the oldness, the history of this specific DVD or book. Because I never buy my movies or books as new, I always buy them secondhand. I do actually, really, whole heartedly love old things. Not 80′s old, but 1880′s old. I love it so much even that I sometimes fantasize about the road and the world as it looked like in the 1830′s, and I get happy and sad at the same time. I’m happy because people were there to witness it, and could live and travel in those gigantic lands and this endless world. I’m also sad, that I live in the modern world where everything is so packed and small, I don’t know where to breathe. But then again, we get to live past 40. Now, Imagine this, if you will, a young boy around the age of 8 who gets stalked and tormented by wretched and vile hallucinations created by his own mind. What a drastic start to an anti-climatic story! My name is Marque and I was literally born surrounded by monsters thanks to a few loose wires in my own brain. However instead of being thrown into madness and insanity I took it to myself to study fear and to learn everything I could about what defines a monster, and there’s no better way to figure that out by watching a goddamn lot of horror movies! Over the years I’ve seen most of them. Borrowed a lot of dvd’s and downloaded the movies that weren’t even available in my own country. Even though some movies still freak me out more than I could ever imagine, thanks Paranormal Activity Tokyo Nights, I’ll always find the next film to watch with glee and joy, but what sets me apart from the amazing Miez co-running this blog is that I happen to be a huge gamenerd with a passion for horrorgames. There is a big difference between watching somebody make mistakes, and making those mistakes yourself. The anticipation that grows knowing you have goofed up, and must now press a button to fall to your enivitable demise is a sensation that really rustles my jimmies. I even worked for a couple of years at one of the biggest halloween events in Europe as a ‘scare-actor’ just to get the sensation and thrill of a scare on the other side, and I believe that I’ll be able to create enjoyable posts about your favorite horror movies and games, and even some haunted places, so we could discuss the scares that made you and me jump out of our pants, or made us laugh so hard we pissed our pants. So, welcome. This is us. Do whatever you want with it. We will stay as long as the question remains: “Is it horror? or Hornot!”