twyrewatch

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Episode 115: Independence Day

When we last left off with Kevin in the gripping cliffhanger of the last episode, he had just witnessed the love of his life, Winnie Cooper, getting a serious snog on with hunky head lifeguard Eric. Side note: Although the last two episodes in syndication and on Netflix are considered separate, because they originally aired as one long hour-long episode I'll always consider it as such. But for the purposes of these write-ups, I broke it down into two episodes so I could write up more without boring everyone. Also, because a tiny part of me wanted to prolong this a wee bit longer. Kevin's a wreck, lying around the busboys cabin, when Jack shows up unexpectedly. They have a quick talk - Kevin expected him to grovel and ask him back, but Jack just wants to give him some clean underwear (and cookies). He thinks Kevin screwed up, and wants him to come home to make his mother happy. Kevin, of course, wants none of it and sends Jack away. In a huff, he heads to the pool to talk with Winnie, and that goes about as well as expected. He says that it wasn't a good idea to go up there (meaning Winnie), but Winnie agrees that he's right - and he should go. Kevin confesses that he saw Winnie and Eric kissing, hoping that Winnie will understand how distraught he is, but she takes to mean that he was spying on her, earning him a push into the pool. That night, Kevin heads off to play poker with the band, expecting to win big (millions? Thousands? Hundreds?) and has to toss in his car keys to cover his bets. It's at that point he realizes that the band duped him earlier, when every single one of them has a better hand than him, and he no longer has a car. The next morning, he storms into the dining room of the resort, knocks out Eric with one punch, and tells Winnie that he'll be leaving. OK, c'mon, if you're a guy, you know you clenched your fist and said YEAH when Kevin decked him. Without a car, Kevin's reduced to hitchhiking home, and thankfully an older couple stops to give him a lift to the bus station. Unfortunately for Kevin, sitting in the back seat is Winnie. Turns out she got fired after Kevin's takedown of Eric. They immediately start arguing, and get kicked out of the car, so they decide to continue their argument on the side of the road. Kevin calls Winnie a tramp (uncalled for), and she tosses his luggage into the middle of the road. Kevin retaliates by doing the same, and then of course a truck comes by and demolishes it all. Of course, this is when the skies open up and it pours. The two run for it, and find shelter in a barn. Sitting with their backs to each other, Kevin whines about how he doesn't really know Winnie any more. She counters that he's changed as well, and they're growing apart. She quietly lets him know that it was bound to happen, that they had to grow up. Kevin confesses that he thought they'd always be together, but admits that he is realizing it's not going to happen. Winnie lets him know it's not... but tearfully admits that she doesn't want it to end.

Image from btvguide.com And so, shivering, wet, and alone, Kevin begins to kiss away Winnie's tears and the two wrap each other up in a blanket to stay warm and continue making out. Adult Kevin gives us his memories of Winnie, how much he loved her, and how much she meant in his life. It's been hotly debated for years over whether or not the two became intimate, but that's a discussion for another time. The next day, Kevin and Winnie made it home on the 4th of July, and met up with the Arnolds at the local parade. Adult Kevin lets us know what became of all of our favorite characters - I don't want to say anything here in case there's still a few of you who've never experienced this final scene in it's entirety. All I'll say is... I still can't watch this scene without welling up with tears. Every time. Every. Time.

If you want to watch it right now, here it is on YouTube. Interestingly, the narration is delivered over the song "Prologue", from Randy Newman's soundtrack to "The Natural". It's a beautiful piece, and sort of ironic that the end of the series is underscored by music that opens something else.

Side note #2 - I'm pretty sure the ebony Remo Pinstripe heads on the marching band's bass drum are an anachronism. I'm almost positive the ebony series wasn't introduced until the mid-80's. But I could be wrong. It's a final closure on the series, settling everyone's futures, and a few moments that allow us to say goodbye to the characters we grew to love, either over the years when the show first aired, or over a few short weeks if you binged on Netflix. No, things don't turn out exactly the way you planned, according to Adult Kevin, and he's right - you never know what life is going to toss your way. "Growing up happens in a heartbeat; one day you're in diapers, the next day you're gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place, a town, a house like a lot of houses. A yard, like a lot of other yards. On a street, like a lot of other streets. And the thing is, after all these years, I still look back... with wonder."

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Episode 114: Summer

In this, the penultimate episode of The Wonder Years, adult Kevin lets us know right from the get-go that usually, things don't turn out as you plan. Let's keep that in mind. It's the summer of 1973 and Kevin's toiling away in Jack's furniture factory and chafing under manager Wayne's gaze, along with his father's micro managing. He's still sore over Winnie's choice to spend the summer being a lifeguard at a resort, along with his stupid choice of words over her decision to leave.  It's mostly his fault (as usual) since he apparently told Winnie they should spend the summer "finding themselves". Not only is Winnie abandoning him, Jeff and Chuck are going to drive cross country over the summer; a trip Kevin would love to go on, but his parents are dead set against.

Image from ovguide.com Just like he did at Chong's, Kevin takes multiple breaks to call Winnie and gets nervous when he hears her having fun. Jack calls Kevin out on his screwing around, which causes Kevin to throw a hissy fit over how controlling Jack is and how much he dislikes the job - a job that might be good enough for Jack and Wayne, but not for him. He quits, packs his bags the next morning, and takes off to the resort where Winnie's working. Surprise! You can tell by the look on her face that she's just thrilled to see him... about as thrilled as one is when having a surprise root canal. Kevin figures Winnie can help find him a job, another thing she's just thrilled about. He has lofty expectations on being a caddie, but ends up as a bus boy - which,admittedly, is better than the other job he was offered of digging a septic tank.

Image from With Leather's 15 Greatest TWY moments article Kevin takes a break from bussing and heads out to the pool to see Winnie, where she introduces him to Eric the hunky head lifeguard, although you can tell she really doesn't want him there. Kevin tries to make plans with Winnie that night, but she's already got a lifeguard meeting, so he typically starts getting huffy with her. She placates him by telling him how she just has to adjust to his being there, so he decides to spend the night with the bus boys in their ratty cabin. It's not what he wants to do, and the guys mention that he can go play poker with the band but he SHOULD NOT EVER GO PLAY POKER WITH THE BAND. Ralphie Parker's there, sans Red Ryder BB gun, and he's dead set against Kevin playing poker. But he does anyways, gets the evil eye from the poker players who are razzing him in Spanish, bluffs his way through a crappy hand, and makes out well. Flush with his winnings and full of manly pride, he goes looking for Winnie to tell her about his great luck. Fortunately, he finds her by the lake with the lifeguards. Unfortunately, she's making out with head lifeguard Eric. Oooooooooooooooooooooooh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge And with the freeze frame on Kevin's devastated face, the first half of the final episode ends. You can't fault Winnie here - Kevin insisted on spending the summer finding themselves, then as usual demands everything be done on HIS terms. Sure it's a little skeevy that she's making out with Eric while Kevin's there, but the kid sort of had it coming to him. How will this all end? I'm betting 99% of you have already seen every episode, so you already know. But for the 1% of you who haven't, check back in a few days for our final recap.

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Episode 113: Reunion

The Arnolds are flying to Norma's hometown for her 25th high school reunion. Norma and Kevin are jazzed, while Wayne and Jack are both sick - Jack with airsickness and Wayne with worry. But they land fine, and we finally get to meet Norma's parents a whopping 2 episodes before the end of the series. Her parents are thrilled to see everyone... well everyone but Jack that is. You can feel their contempt right from the get-go, especially since they keep bringing up Roger, who's Norma's ex-boyfriend. Holy crap, talk about not letting go of the past! They even have left Norma's room exactly the same way it was when she lived there. Kind of creepy. Over dinner, Norma's father mentions leaving the house and all it's contents to the boys when he passes, causing Wayne's eyes to light up, and Jack's eyes dim when Roger shows up to visit. He decides to lose a few hands of cards to his father-in-law, then go to bed early while Norma spends some time hanging out with Roger. The next day finds the Arnold clan hanging out at the reunion picnic, along with Roger who's just as creepy about the past as Norma's parents are. Jack gets all macho over going head to head with Roger in the sack race, with Jack almost ekeing out a win until his back decides to go out on him. Good thing Doc Roger's right there! Norma's parents are all up in arms over how Jack's ruined everything (and we're starting to see why they never visit, man they are just crotchety assholes) but Jack tells Norma to go to the dance and mentions that maybe Roger can take her.

Image from the-wonder-years.com So Norma heads to the dance with Roger, Jack's laid up on the couch, Kevin's fighting with his grandparents dog, and Wayne's putting price tags on everything in the house. Norma's dad, of course, figures he'll live to 95 so Wayne won't be able to sell anything soon. Kevin's fuming over how things are going that weekend, and tells Jack how much he hates that place. Jack chuckles over how much Kevin sounds like Norma, and lets him know that she couldn't wait to leave. Norma comes back from the dance and laughs over how Roger's still the same jerk he always was, and Kevin realizes that some people are just the way they are and there's nothing you can do about it. Jack was fine with Norma hanging with Roger because he knew he had nothing to fear, and Norma enjoyed being back with her parents because she knew she'd get to leave in a few days. Like I mentioned earlier, now we know why we never saw Norma's parents - she never really wanted to be around them, and we also know why she was fine with Jack moving her thousands of miles away. People need to live their own lives, and the life that Norma's parents wanted for her wasn't the life SHE wanted. I think we all can relate to that.

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Episode 112: The Little Women

Women's lib has been a recurring theme in The Wonder Years, going all the way back to Karen's ideals in the first season and continuing with Norma's classes and college degree. Thanks to her degree, and nearly grown kids, Norma has decided it's time to get a job; her last "job" didn't last long when she worked at Kevin's school, but now it's time for her to do something since the house is pretty empty. Jack tries to dissuade Norma, but it's not going to work - Norma's ready and set to go to work. At school, everyone's chatting about SAT results, and Winnie's reluctance to share hers indicates to Kevin that she did poorly. Kevin nails a 1240, and the family celebrates with a dinner out that Norma pays for, since she landed a job with a company called Micro Electronics. They're a brand new company that does something called "computer software", which earns some blank stares from Jack and Wayne. She's thrilled, though, and rightfully so. Meanwhile, Kevin learns that Winnie landed a 1482 on HER SATs so now he has that to sulk over. Norma's thrilled and excited with her new job, while the guys attempt to act like cavemen and thwart Norma's happiness with work while Kevin's still sulking over Winnie's intelligence up at Makeout Overlook Hill Point. She, as usual, calls him out on his BS which of course makes him act like even more of a baby. Turns out Jack's on the couch because he's been a baby too. Like father, like son. Kevin at least has the good sense to apologize to Winnie the next day, and offer to take her out to make up for his behavior. And his idea of a makeup date is to go bowling, so he can beat her at something and MAKE HER LEARN HER PLACE! Jack also apparently had the same idea, as the kids run into the Arnold parents, so again, like father like son. Of course, this being a sitcom on it's last legs, Norma opens things up with a strike leading Jack to declare the match men vs. women (thankfully no demands of shirts vs. skins) and the guys absolutely demolish the girls. The women, of course, completely recognize what's going on and just smirk on the side, allowing the guys their imagined moment. At least Adult Kevin has the grace at the end of the episode to admit they were jerks.

On the one hand, I understand Kevin and Jack's competitive nature, because I'm very much the same way. On the other hand, DEAR GOD I hope I don't look like as big of a jackass as these two do when I get into a competitive mode.

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Episode 111: Poker

It's Poker Night for Kevin and the guys - Jeff, Paul, Chuck, and Randy are all headed over in hopes of winning a few hands. It's an interesting night, as we see everyone's personalities on display in comparison to each other. They're about what you'd expect - Kevin's impatient, Paul is cautious, Randy is straightforward, Chuck is spastic, and Jeff is cooly confident. We get to see what the guys might be like in their 70's in one of the better fantasy sequences of the show, and they're pretty much the exact same. We haven't seen much of Paul this season, and we're starting to see why - he's annoying the rest of the guys with his stuffiness. In fact, he's so stuffy that the rest of the guys don't want him to join them on their planned ski trip and want Kevin to break the news to him. Paul's not the only one affected. Chuck's a nervous wreck, even more so than usual. Turns out that hes concerned about Alice, and he fesses up that they're doing the complete opposite of fighting - a moment that's prefaced with majestic music and back slaps, broken up by Paul's admonitions that he'd better be using protection. Paul goes further and starts spraying deodorizer when Jeff lights up a cigar, while Randy breaks down and admits he might have to repeat junior year due to his lowly math skills. Chuck's so broken up that he starts crying... but it's not over Randy's math, it's over the fact that Alice might be pregnant. Oh, and it looks like Jeff's been cheating at cards.

Image from ovguide.com The guys are all on top of each other, and Kevin's starting to get annoyed with all of them. In fact, they're all getting annoyed with each other, period. Then they run out of food, and it's pretty much the end of the world. Since Kevin can't trust any of them, they all pile into the Chongmobile for food. While in the store, Kevin and Paul start having it out over each of them changing, and not really being in the same group of friends any more. Everyone's tired of the BS, and they head back to Kevin's house for the be all-end all poker game. Dollar ante, and poker faces all around. Everyone's out for blood. It's cutthroat. Brutal. The bets keep escalating until it's time to call; the guys go around the table and Jeff folds, leaving Randy the big winner. He lets out a whoop with a big smile, and the tension around the guys suddenly starts going away. Things get even better when Alice calls looking for Chuck, to give him the news that she's not pregnant. Everyone leaves happy, and when Kevin cleans up, he looks at Jeff's cards and realizes that he folded on purpose to allow Randy the win. Then, Kevin keeps looking at Jeff's cards and realizes that he had FIVE kings... the lousy cheat. But he redeemed himself by allowing Randy his moment, and as usual, all's well that ends well... for the most part.

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[twyrewatch]

Episode 110: Eclipse

It's time for another field trip, and we all remember how well the last one worked out for Kevin and Winnie. This time it's a planetarium, given the age they're in I'm sure it's to see a laser light show set to Pink Floyd (no, it's to see an eclipse_. Kevin and Winnie are playing Truth or Dare along with Chuck and Alice to pass the time; it's all Truths and softball ones at that. Then Kevin tells Winnie she's too perfect, and you can tell from the look on her face that he's in for a world of hurt. Meanwhile, all the bad seeds we were introduced to at the beginning of the episode are up to no good, with some kid Harlan stuffing his face and the class degenerate girl saying she'll make out with him for $30.

Image from tvrage.com Obviously she takes the "dare" thing a lot more seriously than Kevin and Winnie. Speaking of whom, Winnie's still pissy at Kevin for his comments, so she decides to start acting up to piss him off and prove a point. Unfortunately, she's such a goody two shoes that when she fesses up to hitting the teacher with a spitball, no one believes her. The bus takes a pit stop, and Kevin runs into the class pyro and his firecracker stash in the bathroom. The pyro admits he's going to blow up a toilet, which sounds slightly less violent than the way Alice and Winnie are acting towards their boyfriends at the moment. Unfortunately, the bus leaves with Chuck locked in the bathroom. At the planetarium, Winnie's still trying to be a badass and steals a hat from the gift shop, freaking Kevin the hell out. She makes things worse by telling him that it's now HIS turn to do something daring, and eggs him on by calling him Beaver Cleaver. Meanwhile, Mary Jo finds herself actually starting to dig Harlan as she angles her way to $30, and Chuck is on his way to the planetarium via the cab of a crazy chicken truck driver. Kevin decides to help bomb the toilet as his way to prove to Winnie about how daring he is, and even as he tries to chicken out, the bomb goes down the toilet and he goes running. Predictably, everything happens as we figured it would - Harlan gets his hickey, Chuck shows up just in time, and the cherry bomb goes off as soon as the eclipse happens. Chuck tries to tell Alice about his misadventures in getting back to her, and she doesn't believe a word. Winnie lets Kevin know that she actually paid for the hat she "stole", and everything ends on the usual happy happy note. Sadly, it's yet another throwaway episode in the show's final season.

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Episode 109: The Nose

Ricky Halsenbach is down on himself because he doesn't have a date for the dance. He asks the guys for help, but seeing as Chuck's giving advice, any help he gets is bound to be worthless. Their English teacher is on about the cliques and getting along with everyone while fitting in due to their reading Catcher in the Rye, and he wants everyone to write an assignment about something that really bugs them about themselves. Just then, new girl Haley walks in, and all the guys are gaga over her... until they see how big her fake plastic nose is. Ricky, however, sees nothing but beauty and is smitten. He approaches her at lunch, and while the other guys make stupid jokes, Ricky makes headway with her.

Image from Peter Reynder's TWY Site Winnie thinks Kevin and the guys are assholes, and of course she's right. And Kevin, of course, doesn't see how he's wrong. That night, Ricky and Haley swing by the diner after they went to the movies together, and Ricky announces that they're going to the dance together. Kevin starts to finally get over her big nose.... until she lets out this giant sneeze! Oh wait, no she doesn't it's a cute tiny petite sneeze and the guys make a huge deal of it, as she walks away. Ricky notices though, and calls out Kevin on it (that's two episodes in a row that he's called out on his BS) but he backpedals and insists they weren't laughing at her nose. It's time for the class to read their essays on what bothers them about themselves, and Haley goes first. Everyone braces for it... but her essay is about shopping. Oh wait, no it's not - it IS about her nose. It's very self deprecating, and a bit touching, and of course everyone laughs hysterically at her like the teenaged jackasses they all are. Everyone's reactions bother Ricky, and make him second guess his decision to bring her to the dance. Kevin tries to talk him out of it, but Ricky goes through with the worst fake excuse ever and Haley sees right through it - to her credit, she goes along with it. Ricky still goes to the dance, but he's faking how happy he is until Haley shows up and he gets a second chance. Kevin pumps him up and Ricky talks with Haley only to learn that she's there with a date - the good looking football playing guy who's name I forgot so we'll call him Joe McCool. Joe tells the guys how much her essay touched him, and the two head off to dance to "You Are So Beautiful", leaving Ricky in the dust. He's bummed, and other girls are overheard talking about how pretty Haley is as the episode fades out. MUSIC NOTE: It was nice having "You Are So Beautiful" play at the dance, since that was Ricky's favorite description of Haley, but the show gave us a musical easter egg a bit earlier in the episode. While Kevin and Winnie are in the car, and Winnie's chewing him out over his laughter after Haley's essay, the song playing on the radio is The Four Tops' cover of "Walk Away Renee". Renee Humphrey, best known for her roll in "Mallrats", is the actress who played Haley this episode (and like many other characters, we'll never see her again) and other TWY websites have pointed out this little wink-in before. Still, it's a nice touch, and an even better song.

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We didn't have to hate each other for getting older, we just had to forgive ourselves for growing up.

this episode always gets to me

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Episode 108: Hulk Arnold

For some unknown reason, Kevin Arnold discovers midway through his junior year that he's somewhat decent at wrestling. Granted, we see him beating Chuck, so it's not like he's a world beater or anything. His performance in gym leads to the wrestling coach (played by brilliant no-nonsense character actor James Tolkan) approaching him in the hallway on the gym teacher's recommendation. Kevin won't commit though for his usual wishy washy reasons, and doesn't get the coddling he was expecting - so that night he talks with Wayne and his father about the wrestling team, earning some laughs directed in his attention. Still wishy washy, Kevin waltzes into the wrestling practice late and immediately gets called out by the coach and has his ass handed to him by a much smaller opponent. Of course, Kevin's full of excuses that the coach isn't buying, and decides he's going to quit. Until, at Outlook Overlook Makeout Point, Winnie starts kissing his injuries, and suddenly Kevin likes wrestling a lot more. But not enough more to stop his usual whining and mouthing off at practice, earning some more derision from the coach and he skips the laps his mouth earns the whole team. So he once again gets called out, but instead of walking away, he decides to stay on the team. Chuck lets Kevin know about this monster on the opposing team that he'll most likely end up facing at the first meet, and of course Kevin starts to spazz out. He attempts to quit the team, and like every other encounter with the coach, he gets called out on his BS. The coach offers him a chance to wrestle him to show him what he's got, and of course pins him easily... before letting him know that he actually made the team.

Image from With Leather's 15 Greatest Sports Moments On TWY Kevin figures he's going to ride the pine, but then he gets called out to go wrestle Doug Gurney, the mythical beast from the other team. He gets in a quick move, but starts getting dominated and embarrassed. Doug even tells him to give up during the match, which pisses him off and he keeps fighting Doug off. Kevin knows he won't win... but refuses to get beaten. Gurney wins the match 15-2, leading Kevin to joke with the coach about how he knew he was good, and the episode ends with a shot of Kevin in the team picture, and we all know there won't be a single mention of wrestling again in the show.

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Episode 107: Unpacking

Earlier this season, we learned that Jeff Billings was the first kid Kevin Arnold ever met from broken home. Now, we'll finally get his backstory since he's replaced Paul as Kevin's sidekick this year. He's a lot more laid back than Paul, encouraging Kevin to almost blow up the science lab, and has some Eddie Haskell to him. He's also got a girlfriend 110 miles away that he still pines for, and a bedroom filled with boxes he still hasn't unpacked since moving at least 6 months earlier. Problems letting go, Jeff?

Image from My TWY Yearbook Winnie also has a friend Ann who's new to the school, and figures fixing her up with Jeff would be the perfect idea. Kevin's pretty meh on the plan, but as soon as Ann and Jeff meet sparks fly over their shared love of Vonnegut. Seems like a perfect match, until Jeff freaks and walks away over the fact that he's got a girl but thinks Ann is cute. As a way to compromise, everyone goes mini golfing just as a group of friends, not as a date. Kevin's even worse at mini golf than I am at regular golf (which is BAD), while Jeff and Ann bond. Jeff's very conflicted over liking Ann though, and he once again splits quickly. The next day, Kevin attempts to apologize to Ann on Jeff's behalf, and Winnie lays the blame on Kevin for the ending of the date, because y'know, it was HIS idea to set them up (whomp, WHOMP). Jeff plays hooky from school, and Kevin confronts him that afternoon about his waffling. Jeff's understandably ticked off about being so far from the place he considers home, and sends Kevin off. Later, Jeff shows up unannounced at Kevin's house, and asks for a ride back to his hometown - he wants to go back to break things off with his girlfriend Julie. The two meet up at a diner in an awkward moment, and both admit they've met people and the long distance relationship isn't working out anymore. Kevin drives Jeff past his old house, allowing Jeff the chance to finally let go and say goodbye - and the kids who live there now bring Jeff his baseball glove that he accidentally left behind, ending the trip on a good note. When Kevin gets home, Jack chews him out for not getting the gutter fasteners he was supposed to be out getting (instead of driving Jeff 220 miles round trip), and Kevin simply responds by telling Jack he loves him. Jeff has realized that his father is gone, and not coming back - but Kevin still has his. The episode ends with Jeff approaching Ann at school, and heading off together. I really liked this episode, because Jeff's character came out of nowhere, and now we see why he's so flippant and closed off with everyone. It's also nice to see Kevin palling around with someone who's got a backbone and some decency, not wanting to be unfaithful to his long distance girlfriend and wanting to break things off with her face to face instead of in a letter. Stalker Kevin could learn a few things from stand up Jeff.

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Episode 106: Ladies and Gentlemen... The Rolling Stones

This episode of The Wonder Years opens with various examples of how stupid teenage logic can be. As the parent of an almost teen, I completely and wholeheartedly agree that the logic is stupid. This leads us into Chuck telling the guys about how the Rolling Stones are about to play a secret show at some local dive, which is entirely unbelievable because there was no Internet back then so DUH there's no way to get rumours started. After school, we get more stupid teen logic when Kevin gets pulled over and tries to talk his way out of a ticket. It's painful to watch, and it'll be painful on his wallet.

Image from ovguide.com At dinner, Jack's enthused about a big new order he got from an overly friendly customer, when Norma mentions that said customer wants to take Jack and Norma out squaredancing. Jack's mood nosedives, and Kevin leaves out telling them about his ticket. The next day, Jeff somehow gets "confirmation" that the Stones will indeed be playing a show, and Kevin attempts to keep a level head about it. But even Winnie's wide eyed over a potential Stones show, so of course Kevin's in on going to the show. Well, he is until Norma finds the ticket Kevin neglected to tell them about, earning himself a grounding from a pissed off Jack. Later that night Kevin discovers that they're out of milk, and uses stupid teenage logic to figure he can drive his car to the Stones concert AS LONG AS HE GETS MILK. Oh, and he takes his parents car, too, since they were picked up by the cowboy with the huge furniture order, so technically he's NOT driving his car, since he's grounded from doing so. Kevin, Winnie, Jeff, Paul, and Chuck set off in Jack's car to go to Joe's Place for the secret Stones show. Problem is, Joe's Place is deserted and it appears to be a C&W bar, leading to a "who's on first" type conversation (best displayed by THIS timeless Animaniacs skit). Chuck discovers that there's multiple places called Joe's in the phone book, so he rips out the page and the gang runs out the door... and immediately gets pulled over by a cop (leading a panicked Chuck to eat the page from the phonebook). All looks lost, until Winnie pulls out a doozy of a lie about visiting a sick grandmother... and the cop buys it. The gang drives to all sorts of places called Joe's, none of which are correct, but they DO end up at a place called Wally's where hundreds of excited teens are congregating, because that's apparently the place where the Stones are playing. Or, not, as a pissed off Wally tells everyone via bullhorn. The gang leaves, and Kevin hits something with Jack's car, just making the night worse. Kevin heads home, sure he's about to be grounded, AND he forgot the damn milk. For some reason, the universe smiles on Kevin when the cowboy pulls into the driveway to drop off his parents and slams into the back of Jack's car. Embarrassed, the cowboy ups the size of his furniture order, and Norma confides that she had also caused some damage to the car and never said anything. A disappointed Kevin goes to bed, thanking his lucky stars that everything worked out OK, even if there WERE no Rolling Stones. Unfortunately for Kevin, the episode ends with a shot of the first place the gang hit, complete with a tour bus parked out front and the sounds of the Stones jamming away inside. D'OH!

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Episode 105: Alice in Autoland

Alice and Chuck have been dating for 3 months, and have broken up 27 times. It's pretty amusing to the guys, as Jeff and Paul comment in the distance as they have yet another fight during a party... and make up again. Kevin would probably be making comments too, if he wasn't broken down yet again on the side of the road with Winnie giving him repair advice. Jeff takes great delight in making fun of Kevin's car problems at school, which is pretty much the only thing he has to distract him from Chuck and Alice being way too affectionate. Alice overhears, and mentions that Kevin should go see her dad, Pistol Pete Pedermeir, local car selling celebrity.

Image from tvrage.com Kevin tags along with Alice and Chuck to the car dealership, and Pistol Pete unsurprisingly isn't interested in helping until Alice gives him that "please Daddy" look that all daughters are born with the ability to whip out at a moments notice. Pete tells Kevin to come back the next day, but that might not be so simple since Alice once again dumps Chuck, potentially putting Kevin, as Chuck's friend, on the outs. Chuck wants Kevin to forget about the car as a sign of solidarity, sending Kevin off to talk to Alice, which is always a treat with her grating voice. Kevin ends up on the outs with Alice too, until Winnie passive aggressively insults Kevin and his car. Even the kitchen help makes fun of the Chongmobile! Desperate, Kevin agrees to go to the lot with Alice to salvage his manhood and dignity. At the dealership, Pete comments about Kevin being a much better guy than that twitchy one Alice used to hang with, and leads Kevin to a red convertible that we all know he will NOT end up with. He tries to get it out for a test spin alone, but after another face from Alice (sadface this time) the two end up going for a cruise, and Alice puts the moves on Kevin in a hilarious way. He attempts to worm his way out, but Alice misunderstands him and hugs him just as Chuck pulls up in true sitcom manner. Kevin immediately starts yelling out that Alice means NOTHING to him, NOTHING is going on, resulting in a bawling Alice and a pissed off Chuck. So, surprise surprise, no car for Kevin. Plus Chuck wants to kill him. Chuck's slamming his books into his locker over and over again the next day at school, and Kevin's sure he's in for it... until Chuck goes on and on about how Alice gave him the whole story about how Kevin ALWAYS had a crush on her. Kevin plays along to spare Alice's feelings, and earns himself a punch in the face from Chuck as thanks. Chuck and Alice end up back together (AGAIN) and Kevin ends up broken down on the way to the party with Winnie (AGAIN). We'll see more of Chuck and Alice's completely dysfunctional relationship in other episodes this season, almost always for comedic relief. Everyone seems to always have that one slightly *different* couple in their circle of friends, and Chuck and Alice pretty much managed to be THAT couple for the entire school.

[twyrewatch]

Episode 104: New Years

It's the last week of 1972, and Wayne Arnold is simply gaga over curtains. He's cleaned out the garage to snag things for his new apartment with Bonnie, and Norma's all too happy to hold and play with the baby while they're there. Kevin, however, would rather play football with the guys and gripe with each other about their family plans for New Years. The griping changes quickly when Jeff mentions a ski party condo with no parents, sending Kevin off into fantasy land imagining a romantic night with Winnie. Unfortunately, it'll only stay a fantasy since the Arnolds will be going out to dinner that night - Wayne's treat. Kevin attempts to sabotage the night by bringing up how much it'll cost with Wayne, but he's Mr. Mature Family Responsibility and levelheaded. Until, that is, Bonnie pulls up late and blames her ex-husband for once again harassing her and wanting to talk. Wayne nearly punches a hole in the car door, but Bonnie smooths things over and tells Kevin she can't wait to see him for the dinner get-together. Heck, Wayne even gets a new suit for the occasion. The "dinner club" Wayne is treating everyone at features luau dancers and a horribly unfunny MC. At 9pm, Kevin's worried that Wayne's not there yet, but Winnie and the Arnolds just want to relax and enjoy the night. After Kevin attempts to call Wayne, Bonnie walks in... alone. She lets Kevin know that she and Wayne have split up, and it was all due to her meddling ex-husband that she still loves. Kevin absolutely blasts her with a "I'm sorry, I really am... but not for you". Bonnie leaves, as does Kevin with Winnie in order to find Wayne. They finally track him down at a laundromat, where he's apparently doing his laundry while drunk. He's a mess over what's happened with Bonnie, and Kevin finally understands just how much he loved Bonnie, and what their relationship meant to him. As they watch the ball drop on TV, Wayne insists on Kevin and Winnie sharing a kiss, and they walk away, apparently leaving a drunken Wayne along to accost other laundry folders by throwing his socks at them. You have to feel for Wayne here - he's been a screwup and a fairly crappy big brother, but this season, beginning right with his interactions with Wort in the first episode, you realize that he's not the same butthead. That sudden ending of anyone's first major relationship is a horribly damaging experience, and you realize that a few seasons earlier you would have scoffed at Wayne, but now, you only feel for him.

[twyrewatch]

Episode 103: Let Nothing You Dismay

Christmas time finds the Arnold family adapting to some changes - Jack's excited about his new factory, Norma's now a college graduate, and Wayne's playing dad to Bonnie's son. But some things DON'T change, like Kevin having no idea what to get Winnie for Christmas. He especially doesn't want to buy her the new Bread album, because as he tells Jeff, he hates them. Just then, Winnie comes around the corner with a GIANT box and she's very uncomfortable, so he figures he's about to get a giant present so he'd better get her something good and settles on a cashmere sweater for only $99.99. $89 of which he doesn't have. The new job has Jack feeling gooooooood, as he's splurged on a huge tree and is happy to loan Kevin a few bucks to help cover Winnie's present. Emboldened, Kevin also asks Mr. Chong for a raise, which goes about as well as you'd imagine. Jack also has finances on the mind, as the family accompanies him to the bank to close the deal on the financing for the factory along with Charlie. Unfortunately, Charlie doesn't have the financing and he backs out, turning goooooood feeling Jack into the Grinch.

Image from jeffco.ca Jack puts on a brave face, calling around to try and find another backer, but things aren't looking good. Kevin's also got financing issues, with the guys giving him grief over the cashmere for Winnie. So he goes back to Mr. Chong and finally gets his raise... which comes with more hours including working Christmas Eve. The next day, Kevin heads to the mall to finally buck up and get a gift for Winnie, where he runs into Charlie Barrett. He's got an armful of gifts, and news that he's back at Norcom, as he simply didn't have the guts to make a go of it with Jack. Kevin has a talk with Jack about running into Charlie, and Jack lets Kevin know he's not mad with Charlie, and he can't go back to Norcom. It was simply his time to go, and he's fine with that. While they're talking, Norma comes in and announces that she's been down at the bank talking to the loan officer about Jack's passion for the factory. Apparently in 1972 that'll get you a loan, somehow. No wonder the banking crisis hit a few years later. But Jack's moved, and so are we. Winnie's also moved by Kevin's wonderful gift, and he's excited for his gift from Winnie - the new Bread album. Thankfully, he has one of his mature moments and tells Winnie how much he loves them and the album. The episode ends with everyone chowing down on Chinese food in Jack's new factory and toasting the future, hoping that none of that sawdust gets into their General Tso chicken.

Most of the Wonder Years Christmas episodes are fluff, but this one has a decent amount of substance to it. Jack's temper has become legendary through the years, and it's to his credit that he's not mad with Charlie over what's happened - and Kevin learns firsthand that one has to deal with the cards dealt them. It's a lesson we all can be reminded of now and again.

[twyrewatch]

Episode 102: The Test

Everyone is freaking out because OMG SATs! They've come up in a number of episodes so far, since it's junior year for Kevin and all his buds. Jeff knows every answer in class but the one he's called on by the teacher, Chuck's a mess, and Paul's got his WHOLE FUTURE ahead of him to consider in the Ivy Leagues. At home, Jack's fuming over his Norcom review, which says he's "competent". He relates a story about his co-worker Charlie who got a bad review and decided to leave and buy a furniture factory... and Jack might be considering doing the same. That night, Winnie lets Kevin know how worried she is about the SATs while they're up at Makeout Overlook Hill Point (we seem to get a lot of scenes here this season), so since she doesn't want to make out Kevin decides to go out for ice cream with his parents. While they're out, they run into Norcom Charlie who's celebrating buying that factory. Well, actually, it's not just him buying the factory... he lets slip that Jack is involved in the deal. Let me tell you right now - I can't buy a dozen golf balls without my wife finding out and giving me the 3rd degree, how the hell did Jack manage to buy half a freakin' factory under Norma's nose? Jack smooths things over with Norma, and he heads off to the bank to talk finances so he and Charlie can buy the factory. Kevin pushes off studying in favor of watching Let's Make A Deal, mirroring Jack's quest to make a deal on the factory. Speak of the devil, Jack comes home to announce the deal looks bad - it's going to cost 3 times the amount he thought (fifteen thousand dollars, which can't even buy you a crappy car nowadays, never mind half an ownership stake in a factory) and he decides to back out and stay at Norcom. Kevin dreams that night of being on Let's Make a Deal, choosing a donkey over a lifetime career at Norcom (and missing on a lifetime with the girl of his dreams, damn you Monty!) and goes off on a rant in front of the guys over the SATs in the bathroom the next day. After school Jack shows up to take Kevin for a ride, and for a "talk" (I guess he's had enough of his son's stalking), but the true purpose is to show him the factory he's decided he IS going to buy. The guys talk about taking risks, and being scared but forging ahead anyways - a perfect lead in to Kevin and everyone else taking the SAT the next morning. Everyone's freaking but Kevin, who realizes it's just another step in life. It might not be a step to the Ivy Leagues, but it's something he's got to face and move on from.

Is Kevin taking another maturity step in front of our eyes, and growing up to be more like Jack? Maybe... and maybe not.

[twyrewatch]

Episode 101: Kevin Delivers

We're treated to another self-contained episode with today's installment of The Wonder Years, "Kevin Delivers". Much like last season's "Lunch Stories", this episode takes place over the course of a single night of Kevin delivering for Chong's Chinese. The opening is rather funny, with Mr. Chong screaming at Kevin in Chinese, which he completely cannot understand, then he answers the phone in perfect English. Kevin attempts to call Winnie to let her know he'll be a while, and is shooed off to deliver food while constantly running into his archnemesis, the pizza guy in the blue VW (not to be confused with his OTHER archnemesis, Becky Slater). The deliveries go about as expected, since this is a sitcom - the house that can't remember that they ordered (or remember how to tip), the lonely old lady who orders delivery just so she can have someone to talk to (someone besides her cats, that is), the prank delivery to a dead guy in a funeral home (courtesy of the pizza guy), sullen poker players, giggly pre-teens, and starving stoners (who tip really well, but won't remember it).

In between all these deliveries, we get more anguished calls to Winnie, and more Kevin being screamed at by Mr. Chong. Things take a darker turn when Kevin's car gets towed while on one of those anguished calls, and he spends his hard earned stoner tip on getting his car back. He blows off his frustrations by sending the Fioni's pizza guy on a prank delivery to the talkative lonely old cat lady's house, then discovers he has one last delivery to make after hours (accompanied by a cleverly subtitled "inscrutable silence" from Mr. Chong). The delivery looks like it's a bust, since the address he's sent to is a park... but it turns out that Winnie called in the delivery so she could finally see Kevin. She's all giggly, so maybe she was hanging with the stoners earlier and REALLY has the munchies now. Plus she's wearing a jacket with all that fringe on the sleeves, which just screams HIPPIE POTHEAD STONER. Of course, the kicker in all of it is that Winnie ordered the food to eat with Kevin, but he's sick of chinese. Oh, you wacky TV writers!

SIDE NOTE: Although he had a relatively small role in The Wonder Years, Michael Paul Chan has appeared in countless TV shows and movies, including two of my favorites - Arrested Development and Falling Down. Never a lead character, always supporting, Chan has played a variety of roles in his time in Hollywood that I guarantee as soon as you read this paragraph, you'll immediately say "holy crap! I didn't realize that X CHARACTER was Mr. Chong!!"