umbeyonce

[umbeyonce]

wish someone was up

so i could FLIRT

with them

[umbeyonce]

u know when u just

u didn’t want to do the thing ... but u said ok .. and then ... 

basically like i didn’t even want to keep hanging out but ben seemed inviting and i sort of was waiting for him to ask if i wanted to watch something but he didnt and i was about to leave bc i wasn’t on his level / his vibe anyway and i checked my phone and saw his message that was like u still wanna spend some  time together later? and so out loud i was like “oh ii just saw this! am i too late” and he like made that awkward face like the emoji with all its teeth and was like “eee yeaahhhhh kindaaa” and i was like “oh you about to sleep or just vibing” and he was like “just viibing” and i was like “ok!” and i left and i was like “feel free to come say gn later!” and then i came back to my room and just got so unreasonably angry.... like so angry lol ... at what i have no clue.... and i realized if i saw him I’d tell him so i was liike actually no need to come by later! over text and then like 10 mins later after brushing my teeth and stuff was like gn bean and he texted back like “goodnight my love :))))” and im like ugh... hes out here having this nice night.... thinking we are all good... when in reality im over heere beinng like ..... maybe being alone isn’t so bad... maybe we will inevitably break up and that’s fine ..... lol ??? I’m realizing I’m the toxic energy in this relationship, it’s not a healthy relationship but that’s all because of me i think. it’s not toxic per se but it’s definitely unhealthy and it’s bc of me. not unhealthy to the point where it  can’t be worked out and i konw ben still loves me but yeah. it’s difficult for me to even take an evening away from him without my mind floating to like. how im better off alone or something. or how i don’t feel fully reassured that he does actually love me and honeestly if how good of a partner he is doesn’t reassure me idk what the fuck would 

context ben and i take thursdays apart and don’t hang out or sleep together to give him some time/space that he needs 

[umbeyonce]

time to pop onto tumblr becuase i already made a finsta post and i want to vent beyond what is acceptable on my finsta during this time 

m leaving dc would be.... so sad? idk i just feel like i have stayed so connected to them and i want to maintain our friendship and i think we could do well at it but also like i feel so much affection for them and i don’t want to not continue that but also doing that long distance, so much yearning, they woudn’t want that and neither would i. when they leave it’s over but i somehow just really thought I’d have them for a full year longer and ... a few months left seems so short esp after not seeing them for so long and wanting to see them all the time 

[umbeyonce]

wow I forgot how tumblr was 

the uncomfortable reality of having feelings for a person you shouldn’t !!! 

[umbeyonce]

aye can i get uh………ingredients on my burger

[umbeyonce]

Sound on

[umbeyonce]

my favorite theory about anything ever is that the titanic sank because too many people time traveled to that place to try to stop the titanic from sinking

[umbeyonce]

[umbeyonce]

Party Tit….

[umbeyonce]

My tummy doesn’t have to be cute. It holds my internal organs. My thighs don’t have to “crush men’s skulls”. I use them to carry myself. My stretch marks don’t have to be tiger stripes I earned. They came when I grew.

Stop.

[umbeyonce]

[umbeyonce]

[umbeyonce]

[umbeyonce]

[umbeyonce]

dont forget him

[umbeyonce]

i logged into my old twitter account and my only follower is corbin bleu 

[umbeyonce]