uncledrifter

[uncledrifter]

this time last year, i was onto something

[uncledrifter]

i dont even remember following you. i just saw the naruto au and now you're appearing on my dash. i must have followed you in a dream or something

once upon a time 5 years ago i played 2,000 hours of destiny and became one of the primary eliksni bloggers on this webbed site. the rest is history

[uncledrifter]

thank you everyone for reviving this post from the dead right around when i decided to come back to tumblr. i see i'll never escape my fate

since exactly 1 person asked, here’s the timeline for the canon-adjacent naruto renaissance AU that makes no one happy:

its modern day destiny and nobody remembers who Naruto is. Enter our main actor: the spider

the spider begins collecting manga because he knows that any kind of pre-Golden Age paper publication is valuable. He doesn’t really read it he just sticks it in his vault and forgets about it  

The first to rediscover Naruto are the spider’s associates tasked with reading and archiving all of his shit. They start a book club about it.

Some absolute hero begins translating the entirety of Naruto into eliksni and leaks weekly chapters onto the internet (in space). spider catches wind of this and orders the culprit who is stealing his vault’s secrets to be hunted down.

Our nameless savior of anime narrowly escapes with their life and continues to release chapters of the manga to The People in hiding

The spider begins reading Naruto for himself to see what the fuss is about. He is inconsolable for several weeks.

Naruto spreads throughout the eliksni Houses and becomes a full blown cultural phenomenon. Dregs daydream about becoming hokage. Captains debate whether Rock Lee’s Springtime of Youth should be considered canon. The spider now accepts anime figurines and merch as tithe.  

At some point an enterprising wolf vandal brings naruto to the reef cryptarchy for archiving. It doesn’t have as much traction with the awoken, but maintains a cult following amongst academics

Naruto finally comes to the Last City through a quirk of cryptarchy politics. Fed up with Master Rahool’s endless requests for information, Master Ives sends him “a pre-Golden Age cultural artifact” in polite retaliation. Yes, it is an encryption of all 700+ Naruto chapters. 

The joke backfires. Master rahool is thrilled. He immediately writes a dissertation on shonen anime and pre-Golden Age imperialism. he becomes the secondmost authority on naruto

Important to note that the spider is still in possession of most copies of the manga and thus the Last City’s first introduction to Naruto is a translation of the eliksni translation. Some cultural shift did happen. Only the spider knows kishimoto’s original body of work and he takes pride in this fact

nobody else cares

the eliksni version of Naruto is better anyway

Naruto is now in the city cryptarchy’s public records, and after a newsstand picks up the story, it rises in popularity overnight. 

the Naruto renaissance begins in full. Since he shares a color palette, Naruto himself becomes an unofficial symbol of the vanguard. each class of guardian has a favorite character. jumpships and lockers are decorated with them like they’re patron saints.

several years later, crow mentions orochimaru’s cursed seal when explaining how the wrathborn work. the young wolf nods solemnly. they understand. 

this whole time Savathuwun has already read all anime in existence but she only talks about black butler

[uncledrifter]

[uncledrifter]

new tag game: people who don’t have anime profile pics, if you had to pick one rn what would it be

[uncledrifter]

Do you think....

[uncledrifter]

reblog if you prioritize women to the point you mock people for liking m/f or m/m ships. im insane

[uncledrifter]

my daughter, she weeps

not me furiously scrubbibg my laptops storage to see if i can fit destiny 2 and bg3 on it at the same time

[uncledrifter]

not me furiously scrubbibg my laptops storage to see if i can fit destiny 2 and bg3 on it at the same time

[uncledrifter]

balda gate

[uncledrifter]

usamericans do really love making posts about parking lots. i met god in a parking lot. fighting my ex in a parking lot. it's like their main biome

[uncledrifter]

[uncledrifter]

Gotta get married so I can avoid situations with a “oh sorry I can’t, my wife needs me home asap” and then go home to my beautiful wife

[uncledrifter]

The best couple in dragon age is the dramatic gay blacksmith and his loving demon husband who is just trying to make sure they don't starve.

[uncledrifter]