under-the-lemon-trees

[under-the-lemon-trees]

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

• ┈ • ┈ • ୨୧ • ┈ • ┈ •

[under-the-lemon-trees]

WHATS UP FUCKERS

sorry i kinda like. kinda fell off of the planet. i ended up in the hospital for blood loss bc of my god damn period. I WAS BASICALLY HEMORRHAGING OUT OF MY COOCHIE 😭😭

ANYWAYS i have to start from a clean slate. not tooooo cheesed about that. im moving back home and im so upset that i will probably never be able to eat anything from texas again. seriously the food is so yummy that i threw all my progress in the trash can for two years. that’s so awful. but i started therapy and im on meds so im not severely mentally ill anymore. jk i still want to rip all of my organs out. i’m going to my doctors soon bc im still unwell and my meds aren’t working anymore. i will be asking about weight loss meds bc ive been trying for MONTHS AND IVE HAD NO PROGRESS. i just want to be pretty again. i hate being fat. i makes me sick. i’m terrified of leaving my house. i’m going for a run tomorrow i think. hopefully.

[under-the-lemon-trees]

i don’t want to write a note. i just want to be gone.

[under-the-lemon-trees]

my sister is here and it just. makes me mad. she’s so skinny and she’s never hungry. i’m so fucking fat and i eat. she literally told me i belong on my 600 pound life. i want to kill myself. i literally do not deserve to be alive. she makes me so fucking mad though. like i cooked her this beautiful meal and she didn’t FUCKING EAT IT. if she sees me eat something she will magically be full. she doesn’t want to look like me. in her fatspo. i’m going to cvttttt myself today. idc. it doesn’t matter. no one likes me anymore. literally not a single person in my life cares about me

[under-the-lemon-trees]

i wanna go throw up so bad. i just ate so much.

[under-the-lemon-trees]

Think higher of yourself, you’re too good to put that in your body.

[under-the-lemon-trees]

i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate my self i hate my self i hate my self i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself

[under-the-lemon-trees]

i enjoy a little anti self love sometimes. i don’t know why. but doing it just makes me feel so good. i love when the lines appear. i really like how it feels. i don’t think i have an issue to be honest. i don’t think i need help. i don’t even see it as a bad thing. it’s like a little treat for me.

[under-the-lemon-trees]

I HATE BEING FAT. Everything would be better if I was sickly skinny

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wish I could wake up 50lbs skinnier ✨

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Just ate my last meal before my long fast 🥳 I fucking HATE MYSELF

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I think all my friends and family want me to stay the fat one so they look smaller in comparison. When i lost weight they were literally mean to me about it. I HATE EVERYONE WHY CANT I BE PRETTY. WHY CANT PEOPLE BUY ME DRINKS. WHY CANT PEOPLE TALK TO ME. WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME. I WANT TO LADJSF;KIQAEH G;KHIAER;G

[under-the-lemon-trees]

This this this this this this this

All I want is to be loved [and to be underweight]

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didn’t eat dinner. slay. i was back on my bill shit for like a week and i seriously want to D I E ✨✨✨ ive spent the past two days cleaning. everything got so messy so fast.

back on the horse i can’t afford to fall off again, it will actually kill me if i gain another pound. i need need need to be skinny again. i hate myself so much. i don’t want to be seen until im skinny. i wish i could purg3 but i can’t afford the dentist bills if i get worse. im so ugly. my hair, teeth, body, face, skin, hands, feet, legs, arms, boobs, butt, nose, chin, neck, mouth, cheeks, shoulders, hips, stomach, back, eyes. i don’t have one redeeming quality. i am not smart, i complain a lot, i should at least be pretty if nothing else.

[under-the-lemon-trees]

ok, went to target and got a new one. a more expensive one 🤭 made fort hood tap water taste like evian

yall. my water filter exploded. idk how. but i literally can’t drink tap water. i’d rather suffer. why is texas tap water so nasty 😭

[under-the-lemon-trees]

yall. my water filter exploded. idk how. but i literally can’t drink tap water. i’d rather suffer. why is texas tap water so nasty 😭

[under-the-lemon-trees]