uninformedthoughts - Tumblr blog

[uninformedthoughts]

mourning the fact that i lost you, but isn't that ironic, since you were never mine to begin with.

momentary bliss

[uninformedthoughts]

i have no idea what to do with these books, do i burn them, or do i keep holding on to the thoughts of you that i never had?

the other love of your love

[uninformedthoughts]

its quite pathetic really, i have all these notebooks filled with you, and you aren't even mine. the reminder is slowly starting to eat at me so i've decided to move it all to a different format. the fear of you stumbling across it one day is immense, so i find myself burying you once more.

hiding you/or hiding myself

[uninformedthoughts]

for weeks months I tried to shake this feeling of you, tried to deny the love I thought that I deserved- until you denied it for me. keeping our bodies close but our emotions and connection so far away,

parallel lines-close yet never together

[uninformedthoughts]

And then I decide I'm fed up. I've had enough of being treated this way. So I start severing ties, and you keep pleading me not to go. But where was this vulnerability days ago? While you spent the time thinking of your feelings for me, I was getting over you sweetheart. You can't come back from heartache like that.

[uninformedthoughts]

I need to practice taking off my rose coloured glasses. Too often I ignore the red flags.

[uninformedthoughts]

Forgive me, I've been licking my wounds. For the very reason I was afraid, was the exact way that you decided to hurt me. I hope my name leaves a cut on the tip of your tongue, and it burns every time you think of me. And when you think about how you want to be loved, I will cross your thoughts. Unfortunately the taste of regret is what will be left upon your tongue, because you didn't expect me to know my self worth. But I will be one step closer towards my goals, and a step further away from you.

[uninformedthoughts]

every ounce of my being screams I love you, yet you can't find time to send me a goodnight text.

you live in my brain, and I am a mere thought that passes through.

[uninformedthoughts]

“... the psychological condition of fear is divorced from any concrete and true immediate danger. It comes in many forms: unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness, tension, dread, phobia, and so on. This kind of psychological fear is always of something that might happen, not of something that is happening now.”

-Eckhart Tolle ; The Power of Now

[uninformedthoughts]

grasp at my hips like it's the very thing keeping you alive, while you absorb every scent that is my being.

you're afraid of hurting me, but i'm afraid you'll like it too much.

see I'm afraid that the end goal will get lost in translation, that our steps might fall out of sync. when the reality is that I can't stand to go another day in this limbo, and I know how every goodbye ends, I can predict every move.

If it's going fast that scares you then, how does my heart pounding on top of you not make you want to run? it's screaming all the words that are on the tip of my tongue, my god. i am smitten.

[uninformedthoughts]

excuse my silence,

my mind is sometimes so loud, that I forget to talk.

[uninformedthoughts]

have I said too much, or not enough.

my thoughts, they seem to have this rush to them. I'm caught in thoughts of, thinking of

well you

and it's the way the time seems to fade, when we lay

in your bed, yet this moment is filled with pure exhausted bliss. the sweet relief to close my eyes and fall asleep, in heaps of you.

[uninformedthoughts]

LPT:

Never depend on someone for your happiness,

they should only inspire you to grow

[uninformedthoughts]

I want to carve our initials and kiss in the rain.

But for now, it always seems like I say the wrong thing. Maybe I overthink too much, but it's hard not to with a book as thick as mine.

[uninformedthoughts]

Crazy how some words on a screen can mean so much.

[uninformedthoughts]

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. just this overwhelming feeling that i'm not being productive enough, not getting anything done, letting the sink slowly build up dishes. this has taken me into a spiraling state of depression. i can feel myself becoming extremely sensitive to everything. shedding tears for no reason at all, thinking the whole world is against me except for you the light at the end of the tunnel and the stars that caress the night sky. the moon that i look forward to every night and the sun that i bask in each morning with my coffee. i can't pinpoint exactly when you became my muse, but it all came crashing in on me like the tide quickly washing in to shore, filling every pocket inside me with warmth and comfort.

[uninformedthoughts]

I think back to that moment often, driving and getting chinese food. it felt like we’ve been doing this for years, only this was the first time I had even given you a chance. Look at me now, there’s no going back.