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[unproblematicme]

you know when beelzebub and gabriel were revealed to be in love and fucked off to alpha centauri it must have felt to aziraphale and crowley like learning your childhood bullies who had picked on you for years for being different and weird and closeted gay had actually come out as bi and were happily in a queer relationship while you’re still wrestling with the trauma they contributed to

like, good for you guys, love is love and gay rights and all, but come on, really?

[unproblematicme]

1941 Crowley does things to me I cannot describe. I don't know what it is about that era but, boy, he just looked so...so...AGH! Hot! And his vibe is all out of the charts! Of course Aziraphale realized he was in love on that year, have you looked at that man?

[unproblematicme]

2023 Bucket

This is a bucket. Anything you don't want to take with you into 2024, feel free to drop it in the bucket. I will be burning the contents (with Hellfire) at exactly 11:59pm on New Year's Eve.

You don't have to type anything, at all. Just reblog the bucket and your intentions will be known by the universe. Or the bucket. Or whatever you like.

[unproblematicme]

Chains

“Please,” the sinner said again.

“Nope.” Crowley shrugged. “There’s no hope for you.”

“I am not asking for hope.”

“Good. You’re really in the wrong place for hope.”

Nodding in appreciation, Crowley admired the man’s predicament. Sometimes, he felt for the poor souls he brought here. Sometimes, he understood their deed. Now, however, pity was far from his mind. After all, he knew that every single one of the hellfire forged chains that bound the sinner to his cage stood for an act of greed that made his fellow humans suffer. And there were many chains. Too many to count.

A creative punishment. Probably Dagon’s idea. She was the only one beside Crowley down here who had a creative streak in her cursed soul.

Again, the man’s voice ripped Crowley out of his thoughts.

“It’s not about me,” he said.

Crowley looked at the chains, then into the sinner’s file and back at the sinner. He raised his brows and answered with a dark smile, “Well, that would be a first, wouldn’t it?”

“It’s about my friend,” the sinner said unfazed. “My colleague…business partner… he’s much like me.”

“Well, in that case, I suppose you’ll see him soon.”

“I hope not too soon,” the sinner said. “He’s younger than me. Much younger. He was a young lad when I took him under my wing. A child almost. I became the father he never had.”

Again, Crowley’s gaze fell on the file. 

“Poor bastard,” he said drily.

“Yes!” cried the sinner. “He deserved a better father. I led him on this path. It’s my fault he is heading right this way. Please…”

Crowley hesitated. He had accompanied mankind from the beginning. Soon he had realised that every man was shaped by the fathers he knew… for better or worse.

The sinner begged, “Just… let me warn him.”

Worrying his bottom lip with his teeth, Crowley contemplated the request. Finally, Crowley turned to the sinner with a strict expression and pointed a finger at him.

“There is no hope for you,” he said. “None.”

“I know.” The sinner nodded.

“I can’t free you,” Crowley said. “But I can lengthen the chains so you can reach Earth. And I know some people you might be able to help.”

With tears, falling from his empty eyes, the sinner thanked him, before rushing away, the heavy chains rattling behind him. As Crowley pulled him back an hour later, binding the sinner close to the cage bars again, the sinner was much calmer, smiling even, despite the grim fate awaiting him.

“Thank you for your kindn…” the sinner began but Crowley hissed at him.

“Don’t… not the place for that.”

Silently, the man nodded his acknowledgment. When Crowley closed the hanging cage, a subtle movement caught his eye. One of the chains rattled, slowly first but ever faster, until it finally snapped, pulled away and vanished into the endless voids of Hell. 

The sinner didn’t appear to notice. He just smiled and stared into the vastness around him. 

Well, one chain of countless hardly made a difference, right? So no need to report it.

With relief, Crowley noted that his time down here was done anyway and he was due to return to Earth. As he walked away, he threw one last glance over his shoulder.

“Happy eternity, Jacob Marley.“

[unproblematicme]

just grabbing mine

[unproblematicme]

The Call of Secrets

My contribution to the GOmens Halloween Zine

Aziraphale is an experienced monster hunter. But one Halloween night, he meets a powerful opponent: A demon who has easily enthralled several humans in a church. The creature wants Aziraphale’s help and Aziraphale is in no position to refuse. Little does Aziraphale know that this night will change his life forever.

[unproblematicme]

[unproblematicme]

so many boycotts are so easy to do by being poor like i saw a influencer in a high rise loft apartment on tiktok saying to boycott chanel and it’s like ofcourse baby i am twenty steps ahead of you, we are in entirely different brackets

[unproblematicme]

Day 125 of posting Good Omens memes Everyday until Season 3

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[unproblematicme]

Too Easy

Sneak Peek for my contribution to “The Devil You Know”, a charity zine, dedicated to Matt Murdock from Earth65, not at all lovingly called Murderdock by Spidergwen - believe me, she has her reasons!

There's both a physical and digital copy for sale. Proceeds are being donated to the Hawai'i Community Foundation to help aid in recovery from the Maui wildfires.

[unproblematicme]

Book Omens: Borrowed Time

Art for As long as the nightingale sings

[unproblematicme]

A Cheer for Heavenly Crowley

I just wanted to reiterate Crowley's cuteness about Muriel once he realises how lonely and undervalued she has been all these millions of years ….

Muriel is so delighted about this little bit of affection.

And Crowley is adorable as always.

+ bonus

Gif by @tenthrees

[unproblematicme]

Reunited

[unproblematicme]

Check out our Good Omens Halloween FanZine!

Halloween FanZine on gumroad

[unproblematicme]

"The Devil You Know" now available for purchase!

Spider-Gwen may be the most famous resident of Earth-65, but her dimension wouldn't be half as much fun without the awful and unlawful Matt "Murderdock", Kingpin of New York City. Talented fans have come together to create this one of a kind fan anthology featuring over a dozen never-before-seen stories, illustrations, and comics all centered around the silver tongued devil we've come to love, as terrible as he may be.

Proceeds from this project will be donated to the Hawai'i Community Foundation in aid of recovery from the Maui wildfires.

Physical copies available here

Digital (PDF) version available here

[unproblematicme]

the only time crowley & aziraphale tried to venture to america was in 1912 but they never made it