unspokenlinesofmagicalwords - Tumblr blog

[unspokenlinesofmagicalwords]

so much change. so many new beginnings. it feels okay, so why am i not letting myself indulge in it all?

let it go

let it all go

[unspokenlinesofmagicalwords]

stories continue to be written even if you aren’t the author anymore. you’ll just have to read a summary later and know that isn’t a part of who you are anymore.

[unspokenlinesofmagicalwords]

Hiba Abu Nada, from I Grant You Refuge (trans. Huda Fakhreddine)

Hiba Abu Nada was a novelist, poet, and educator. She wrote this poem on Oct. 10th, 2023. She died a martyr, killed in her home in south Gaza by an Israeli raid on Oct. 20th, 2023. She was 32 years old.

[unspokenlinesofmagicalwords]

I crave a love so deep it feels like the comfort sleeping in on Saturday mornings and taking a shower after a long day. A love that feels like the safety of dozing off in the car as a child, eyes fluttering but knowing you’re always on your way home. A love that feels like the thrill of passing notes in third grade. A love so safe it feels like resting your head on your mothers lap as she plays with your hair. A love that feels so peaceful Iike early mornings when the sun is still soft and the air is still crisp. I crave a love. I crave a love. I crave a love.

[unspokenlinesofmagicalwords]

it broke me. It shattered me. I feel used. I feel like an old game sitting in the corner collecting dust. Always there, never good enough to want it. They’re all the same. My ending will always be the same. Forgive me old me for putting you through this again. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

It’s terrifying. To see myself make the same mistakes with someone new. Knowing the ending will break me just as much. But that’s the thing about being human, you’ll read that book over and over again begging for the ending to change, one last time.

[unspokenlinesofmagicalwords]

It’s terrifying. To see myself make the same mistakes with someone new. Knowing the ending will break me just as much. But that’s the thing about being human, you’ll read that book over and over again begging for the ending to change, one last time.

[unspokenlinesofmagicalwords]

soul is tired of missing who I thought you were. When will my body accept you’re not in my life, you’re not a part of my routine. You’re in my past. You’ll stay in my past. You’re gone forever, and 9 months later I’m trying to glue my heart to what it was before you.

maybe that’s the point, I can’t go to who I was before you. Just after.

I hate this after just as much.

[unspokenlinesofmagicalwords]

of all the people who have hurt me and all the people that will, you will always be the one to have broken me the most.

-congrats. you always said you never lose.

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so much of me is made up of little memories of you

- moving on is just as hard

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It’s been 32 days since we said goodbye. I miss you. Forever and always.

I fear our last conversation more than death itself.

-please don’t ever say goodbye

1:17 am

[unspokenlinesofmagicalwords]

I don’t hate you. Which is possibly the worse thing that I am incapable of feeling. Why?

Because that just means I still love you, which makes letting you go so much more painful.

Of all the heartbreaks I have endured and will endure, you’ll be my favorite One.

-i miss you always, but especially today.

[unspokenlinesofmagicalwords]

a thousand ways to say goodbye and this way was the one i feared the most.

even if you broke me, i’ll always love you.

forever and always.

goodbye old friend, in another life.

[unspokenlinesofmagicalwords]

i will never love someone the way i love you. and maybe that’s a good thing, because loving you was the most destructively beautiful experience i have ever felt and would do it over and over for the rest of eternity.

-i love you, forever and always

(even if i have to do it alone)

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i always hated this Universe.

but now i hate it even more for making us meet and never ending it with forever in our story.

-I miss you so much I can’t breathe

2:38am

[unspokenlinesofmagicalwords]

if only you knew.

if only you knew how badly you broke me.

how much pain you have constructed in my shattered heart.

how pieces of glass slither around in my body, doused in your fake love and posionous words, ripping at every part of my aching temple.

if only you knew how much it burns to love you and miss you and still be your

..

“best friend”.

-how could you be so mean?

after everything you put me through.

[unspokenlinesofmagicalwords]

i love you

forever and always

-please come back. i miss you.

07/13/21

[unspokenlinesofmagicalwords]

“There is love in holding and there is love in letting go.”

— Elizabeth Berg; The Year of Pleasures