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Wen Ning: Why are my boat rides always like this?

Episode 17, Episode 46

Bonus

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xichen version

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jiang cheng is like “i would die for my brother” and then sixteen years later rolls up like, “just learned that my brother would die for me? shocked and upset”

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I literally think that watching the untamed changes your brain chemistry or something bc how else does it have such a hold on everyone who has seen it. How does it do that to people I've never seen anyone watch it and just like it a normal amount. You watch those 50 episodes and you become a different person

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i think the most important thing to take away from three of wwx’s most beloved people in the world being lan wangji wen qing and jiang cheng is that somebody should give wwx a stray cat, the larger and angrier and more horrible the better, that hisses at everyone it meets and does not want to make friends at all. and he would be absolutely infatuated with it and give it a lil kiss on its head every day and everyone would be like. Why.

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The Cultivation World: Demonic Cultivation is evil and disgusting. Who would ever practice such a wicked art?

Lan Sizhui:

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your mouth says no but your eyes say yes

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mdzs, a summary

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an underused source of comedy in post-series fics is the fact that wei wuxian is now Very Technically jin guangshan’s bastard son, and could be in line for jin sect leadership if him or jin ling ever wanted to acknowledge him that way.

theres so very many loopholes he could exploit with this knowledge. its a beautiful day in lanling, people are bothering your beloved nephew who’s doing his best, and you are a horrible necromancer stuck in the body of the old sect leader’s son, so youre going to threaten everyone with the possibility of YOU being in charge if jin ling gets overwhelmed by their petty complaints

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lan xichen was really like *traumadumps the weirdest fucking story you’ve ever heard* *flute solo* “do you know my brother is in love with you?” at like 2am in the span of five minutes and no one stopped him

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A scenario where Wei Wuxian went to Koi Tower to hand himself over instead of the Wens, trying to prove that he had nothing to do with Jin Zixun’s curse….. Support me on Ko-Fi? <3

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again, so many cql/mdzs modern AUs set in america and never one in which nie huaisang is like:

so i knew this dude in high school, right, who invented a new kind of nuke and so naturally the government recruited him to work in Defense before he even finished college but then he went rogue about an ethics issue with refugee camps and became the most famous terrorist in living memory and died in a police shootout

and that's the guy i, the Secretary of Education, want to help me kill the President.

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and they were mad scientist buddies who saved each other’s little brothers through ethically dubious means <3

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Yeah I bet he made it from midtown Manhattan to an international flight in a fucking hour. Especially when earlier they were claiming he went straight from the shooting to a bus terminal. They have no fucking clue and they're already making up shit to cover for the fact that they won't find him. This is amazing.

Oh they’re never finding this guy

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there is a lack of fics in which madam lan was as evil and conniving as jin guangyao and qingheng-jun was just a little bit more self aware than lan xichen. 

you cowards.