ursarangler - Tumblr blog

[ursarangler]

•[ VIDEO UPLOADED — 12/19 | 9:20 AM ]•

•[ VIDEO ID: Professor Mador is a creature of anxious habit and crippling mental dissatisfaction. In my short time of spending with them, he somehow worries about absolutely everything and equally nothing at once. In this moment however, that stone corpse face has the slightest sliver of a trembling grin as he keeps his eyes on the road ahead.

Their hands are shaken and their expression is frozen, the professor themselves only being brought back to some resemblance of reality by the snapping finger of their nearby husband(?). Immediately, they turn to look at him and completely take their eyes off of the road, causing him to gently poke their cheek back into place of paying proper attention. Mador sighs loudly. ]•

🧬📹: Oh, I am so sorry Kenzie-boo! It has been days and a half lately, hasn’t it? I almost feel sick over the idea of having to see my parents so soon. I can admit — I may have been stalling.

🐾🥩: Uh. Yeah, I noticed we’ve passed the same houses about thirty times now. Have you just been drivin’ in circles?

🧬📹: More like tiny ovals. But, I am just so worried? Something feels different this time. You know more than anyone that I do not like different and this feels too different.

🐾🥩: Well, ‘course it’s gonna be different this time, Marty. You said you ain’t seen your sister in how many years?

🧬📹: … In persons? A decade at least. The last time I talked to her was when she brought me that baby to do emergency surgery. I still do not know whose baby that was and why it had such a bad leg? It was so bad I couldn’t even jar it. Too much ice damage and nerve problems.

🐾🥩: Right — it’s been forever since you two have been face-to-face, it makes sense you’d be worried. Fuck, if I was going through the same thing right now I can’t say I wouldn’t be.

🧬📹: Yes, but you are different. You can punch a man real hard he dies right on the spot. Unfortunately, I cannot punch real hard and kill men right now. Low blood sugar.

🐾🥩: Eh, I’ve seen you do worse things. Speaking of —

•[ Kenneth leans over and opens the large decorative coffin in the back of Martin’s large vintage hearse, revealing a few sealed shut containers of a glowing purple liquid. The light emanating off of it starts to fade as the natural sunlight begins to shine upon it, highlighting a few orange canisters nearby in much smaller jars stacked around the coffin. ]•

🐾🥩: Why are you bringin’ this stuff again? Especially this much of it? I thought you said your parents were just regular farmers. This ain’t for your Zoroark fears, is it? I promise, I’m not going to let any of them touch you—

🧬📹: Oh! No, no … The jars are for the trees! I am going to be conducting a little experiment of my own! I am going to see if my battling serum will help assist in causing trees to grow even faster, possibly even with bigger results. Anything I can do to help the farm in my own ways!

🐾🥩: … Marty, that stuff is basically rabid-juice. I think pumping it into a product that people are going to eat isn’t the best idea.

🧬📹: It is okay! This is just test one! I am going to be tweaking it over and over again until we get it right, do not worry! This is not for people.

•[ Kenneth simply stares at Mador for a minute, slowly blinking with a slightly exhausted expression on his face at the mere idea of what the mad scientist of a professor is concocting right now in the driver’s seat. After a moment, he simply shakes his head and chuckles, pointing a finger at him as he looks up from his travel translation dictionary. ]•

🐾🥩: Alright, I’m fuckin’ holding you to that. If I see you trying to eat one of those apples “for science”, I am going to break you over my knee.

🧬📹: Oooh! Sounds fun! But, you will not tempt me — I shall not be eating those apples! How do you like … thems apples?

🐾🥩: I’m fine with “thems apples” if you could actually drive us to the farm now.

🧬📹: Hm. Okay, maybe you are right … I really do want to try my serum apples soon. Full of crunch and no nothing bad at all.

🐾🥩: Marty no, we just talked about this—

•[ VIDEO ENDS. ]•

[ursarangler]

U⁠ ⁠´⁠꓃⁠ ⁠`⁠ ⁠U I give you breakfast ice creams and you TRICK ME and PUT ME IN THE COFFIN!! What did I do?? I've been nothing but a good boy this whole time and you treat me so terribly.

We. Got Breakfast Ice cream s. I feel Better €8>.

Mmh . It will be okay . It will be safe now .

I really do want to thank everyone who has shown me. support through all of this . I know it may be New. but We will get back to our regular scheduled programming soon. €8 ! ! For now ,

I will show pictures from our Trip when I am taking them . It is very nostalgia here . Driving to the farm today ! !

[ursarangler]

Adding to this!! U⁠^⁠ｪ⁠^⁠U Ariados are often used by the Jennies in Johto instead of Growlithe and Arcanine! They're more available out here, and they're a better fit for the more densely forested environments since they can navigate dense thickets and not burn anything down in the process. Plus, their web is really tough to escape and can be fired from a distance, so they're great at catching people! It ain't impossible to get free, though. (⁠◠⁠ᴥ⁠◕⁠ʋ⁠)

Going through my Pokemon Care Notes one pokemon at a time, part 3: Spinarak and Ariados

Although a very common Johtoan bug type, Spinarak and Ariados are rarely sought after except by bug specialists. Although frightening to many, they deserve the same love and care of any traditionally "cute" or "cool" pokemon.

Because it's not a commonly caught pokemon outside Bug enthusiast teams, a less-known fact about spinarak body language is that the pattern on their backs change expression with their emotions! It's very easy to understand a spinarak's feelings.

Spinarak's webs are very strong, and these little bugs take well to assisting with jobs such as helping fishermen by making nets. If your spinarak, like mine, has had poor experiences with humans' reactions to them, it may benefit from the gratitude of local fishermen!

Both Spinarak and Ariados are nocturnal and must hunt at night. Spinarak will do so by spinning a web and waiting for food - though it prefers other bug types like Cutiefly, if you are not in an area where bug types are plentiful you can toss a berry into your spinarak's web, which it will treat as prey. This is both nutritious and enriching!

Ariados' hunting habits are more active than passive, and they will usually find a way to leave your home at night to hunt whether you want them to or not. Though you do not need to worry about it getting lost (they leave a trail of string to find their way home), their misunderstood nature puts them in danger from humans, and your Ariados may pose a danger to small pokemon. Ensure your Ariados has something to identify it as an owned pokemon! My Skeeter wears a customized high-visibility vest, and his fangs are wax-coated every night to prevent him from hunting any unsupervised owned pokemon. I make sure to feed him thawed meat (whole rattata and patrat from food-grade breeders usually) and berries before wax-coating to keep him fed and decrease his hunting instinct.

Ariados does not hunt humans unless starving to death. If one is captured accidentally, it will be released when the mistake is noticed. We don't taste good.

[ursarangler]

U(⁠눈ᴥ⁠눈⁠)U Marty.

As much as I'd love a beach vacation, you promised your parents that you'd be there UóᴥòU if they're nice, it wouldn't be polite to stand them up, I reckon. And if they ain't, maybe you should let me punch em a few times since you've already drug me all the way out here with you. (⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ᴥ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ⁠ʋ⁠)

If this is about your sister, don't worry none, alright? U⁠^⁠ｪ⁠^⁠U I won't let her get away with hurting you, sugarplum.

U@ᴥ⁠@U jet lag I have not missed you one iota let me tell you what

[ursarangler]

U@ᴥ⁠@U jet lag I have not missed you one iota let me tell you what

[ursarangler]

Uಠ⁠ᴥ⁠ಠU How in Zekrom's blue blazes did air travel manage to get WORSE??

I didn't bring any weapons with me and the only pokemon I have on me is one baby Teddiursa U⁠ ⁠´⁠꓃⁠ ⁠`⁠ ⁠U I left Ann in the lake and everything c'mon just let me on the damn plane.

[ursarangler]

~ To Be A Pokemon Master Ep. 4

[ursarangler]

About to head to Kalos!!! U^ｪ^U and I have a speeeeecial surprise!! I've been waiting to show

[An image is attached. It's of Kenneth's hand holding a small digital camcorder. It seems to have been roughed up and fitted with a strap and spike to attach it to a tree.]

Surprise!! ૮⍝• ᴥ •⍝ა I know it seems a little old-fashioned, but I figured I could take some footage of the orchard so Martin would have some memories to remember it by!!! Plus they were saying they wanted some footage of the farm at night. U´• ᴥ •`U There's critters out there that they want me to keep an eye out for.

I don't know, it just seems better to have it on a separate device 乁[ ◕ ᴥ ◕ ]ㄏ It's like a little digital scrapbook!!

[ursarangler]

hey so martin’s sibling is currently defending a rocket grunt so he doesn’t get sent to prison. like a literal open rocket grunt who is on trial for pokémon abusing crimes. i just thought that would interest you. i know you love rockets.

V⁠●⁠ᴥ⁠●⁠V

New poll!

[ursarangler]

U⁠^⁠ｪ⁠^⁠U Exciting news!!! I'm going to be leaving the region in a few days with Marty to visit their family for the holidays!!! Not saying exactly when (⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ᴥ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ⁠ʋ⁠) not making it THAT easy for you, Rocket. But I'll be in Kalos for a few days! I haven't left Johto in forever, and it's my first time visiting Kalos, so I'll admit I'm a little nervous U(''°ᴥ⁠°'')U I don't speak a lick of Kalosian, so I'm gonna have to just play all the socializing by ear. Marty said they'd translate for me, but I still feel like I should try to learn some of the language before I visit...

Oh! But there's bigger problems than just me. U⁠ ⁠´⁠꓃⁠ ⁠`⁠ ⁠U Poor Marty's all worried about how his sibling's gonna react to him being there. Understandable, they apparently haven't spoken in ages. Still, it's kinda heartbreaking to see him all worked up over someone who shut him out. Acting like it's his fault that this sibling of theirs hasn't talked to them.

Sooooo I wanna help! (⁠◠⁠ᴥ⁠◕⁠ʋ⁠) Now usually, I'm a pretty decisive man. But I figure this website loves itself a good poll, so I'd leave it up to the masses what I should do to help Marty with their family problems!

[ursarangler]

•[ …. Uh. ]•

•[ VIDEO ID: This video starts with a blurry image of a camera from a distance trying to film both a man(?) and a Teddiursa. The professor has their back to the camera, their legs crossed as they sit on top of their messy bed while facing the cub.

The Teddiursa, now officially deemed “Baby Shoes”, is sitting and staring up at them with wide eyes of excitement. It occasionally kicks it’s legs and wiggles in place, gaining a chuckle from the hunched over professor as they look it over. Baby Shoes also has an obviously homemade shirt on with the words “SMART SHOES” messily written in sharpie on the front.

Suddenly, Professor Mador reveals what they’ve been holding in their lap and holds out a medium sized jar. The jar looks dusty, the water inside of it completely murky and discolored with a strange solid object floating inside. Mador shakes the jar in front of the Teddiursa, causing it to stare with wide eyes as it places it’s paws on the outside.

The professor leans down and attempts to open the jar, trying with all of their might as they even blow off a layer of dust. Multiple attempts are made with them all coming to a failure. They groan, cracking their wrist as they look around the small lab …. before meeting eyes with a nearby beast of a man, known as “Kenneth.”

Professor Mador smiles wide, turning around and holding out the jar to Kenneth silently as if gesturing for him to open it. Both the professor and the pokémon stare with a similar expression of excitement as Kenneth stares with a lack of amusement at the two of them. ]•

🐾🥩: … Marty, I ain’t going to open your sister’s ten-year-old kidney jar anywhere near the baby.

🧬📹: Enrichment!

🐾🥩: That ain’t enrichment, he can’t eat that—

•[ VIDEO ENDS. ]•

•[ … Gosh, these two are weird. ]•

[ursarangler]

Congrats on the baby bear!!!! Do you have any formula to bottle feed the lil guy?

U⁠^⁠ｪ⁠^⁠U Marty's got it covered!! He raises baby pokemon all the time, so he had some on hand. Not sure what I'd do without him. U(ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ)U My darling lifesaver.

[ursarangler]

[An image is attached. It's of a relatively large newborn Teddiursa sitting on the floor of Martin's lab and sucking on what seems to be a questionably large chunk of raw meat. A leg bone is still attached, and the tendons are sheared and dangling in a way that suggests it was violently ripped from whatever it belonged to. It is clear that this is not suitable food for the newly-hatched pokemon, but that doesn't seem to stop the cub from trying.

Despite the incorrect choice in food, the Teddiursa seems perfectly healthy. The cub has also been outfitted with infant-sized shoes that look like purple sneakers and metal dog tags that are obscured by the meat chunk.]

U(⁠╥ᴥ⁠╥⁠)U I'm so glad that Marty's been helping out with this because I have no idea what I'm doing

Anyways!! U⁠^⁠ｪ⁠^⁠U The little fella's doing alright! Martin decided to name him Baby Shoes, which was not something they asked me about but U(⁠-ᴥ⁠-⁠;⁠)U they look so proud of the name and I'm not about to take that away from them. Besides, it's like I said, they're half the reason the little guy's still kicking. ▼⁠・⁠ᴥ⁠・⁠▼ Far's I'm concerned, they can have the silly name.

I was honestly worried that the little fella wouldn't hatch. I mean, he was technically supposed to hatch a loooong time ago. U(⁠;⁠;⁠;⁠・ᴥ⁠・⁠)U I don't know when that Celebi shot me back to, but it had to have been at least a few thousand years, right? Shoot, could've been more. I don't know. He seems to be alright though, and that's what matters.

He's so small. Damn if I don't feel like I might break him on accident.

[ursarangler]

@profmadorarchive Marty. Darling dear.

Why does the Teddiursa have a name tag that says Baby Shoes on it? U(⁠눈ᴥ⁠눈⁠)U

[ursarangler]

no i do not wang to fightKENNNZIE KENNETH KENIZE YOU GOTTA. Y MOU GOTTA YOU. HAVE TO YOU HAVE TO COME HERE YOUR BABY HAS BEEN BBORN YOUR. BABBYYY UOUR BABY

I AMRU NIONG AS FDDAAST AS I CAN I AM. ALMOSTERE

[ursarangler]

I. AMMM GONNA BE A MAMA A. OOOOUB. HHHOOOOO. WE. EEEEEEEEEEEE

[ursarangler]

U('' O ᴥ O '')U A

▼⁠・⁠ᴥ⁠・⁠▼ Still not dead! Just busy! So. So busy. V⁠●⁠ᴥ⁠●⁠V

Anyways!!! U⁠^⁠ｪ⁠^⁠U I've been doing well!!! Just been keeping up the fights and keeping the Rockets out. Bastards have been getting real aggressive lately, acting like they own the town. Wonder what's got them so stirred up now? U(⁠눈ᴥ⁠눈⁠)U Something damn stupid I guess.

Should probably get caught up on all these notifications ▼⁠・⁠ᴥ⁠・⁠▼ Wonder why Martin's been blowing my phone up tonight?? If it's about that damn Vaporeon again I swear